Page 41

NOW

August 2023

Lily

Phibsborough, Dublin

Lily looked down at her sleeping son, who lay on his back, two hands above his head. His lips were pursed in a perfect pout while he dreamed. She hoped that for her little Ben they were only happy thoughts.

His vulnerability, as he lay there, caught her off-guard not for the first time. Robert had been almost the same age when he was snatched from their lives. Anger sparked through her as Zach’s mother’s face formed in her mind’s eye. Since her return from Spain, Lily had been unable to stop thinking about her. Before, the abductor was a faceless predator, but now it had taken shape and form in that of a sixty-five-year-old woman living in America.

She’d spent hours scrolling through Zach’s Instagram grid, searching for hidden secrets in his parents’ faces. Every snap only showed two parents who obviously doted on their children. Their faces were alight with pride as they stood, arms looped round their shoulders, laughing without a care for the camera.

Whether it was at Lake Champlain boating, in their backyard barbecuing, at their daughters’ weddings, beside a resplendent Christmas tree drinking eggnog, every shot showed a happy family life.

Their lives were like the gifts under their tree, wrapped beautifully with a big red bow. While Lily’s and her parents’ were discarded, broken and not quite right.

Lily backed out of the room stealthily to avoid waking Ben. Michael was waiting for her at the foot of the stairs, his forehead creased in deep lines.

‘We’ve got a visitor. It’s Zach. He arrived a few minutes ago in a bit of a state.’

Lily hurried into the large family room, where she found Zach pacing the wooden floors.

‘It’s all gone wrong,’ he said, the second he saw her. ‘I kept thinking about what you said in Spain about not blindsiding my family. So I flew over to London yesterday to tell Issy.’ He ran his hands through his hair, then turned to face Lily. ‘She went ballistic. I’ve never seen her so angry. I thought she’d be on my side, but instead she rang Ally and Jenny. That was the worst group video chat I’ve ever had.’ He sighed again. ‘If you saw them, Lily . . . They were spitting fire at me one minute, crying the next, then back to angry again.’

His tanned face was tinged with splotches of bright red, and he looked so lost as he recounted his update that it made Lily’s heart ache.

‘Michael, will you get us all a drink? Anything at all. Zach, sit down beside me and take a deep breath. It’s going to be all right.’

‘It isn’t, Lily. Jenny said she’d never forgive me for doing this to our family.’

‘Do they believe you?’ Lily asked.

Zach shook his head. ‘Ally and Issy think I’m raving mad to even think Mom could do such a thing. Jenny kept staring at me, as if I’d murdered someone.’

Lily could only imagine what that must feel like for him. She had spent her entire life as an only child. This was new territory for her. But she wasn’t entirely surprised that his sisters hadn’t welcomed his news with open arms. Albeit that it was disappointing that they couldn’t see through their own fear to notice their brother’s pain.

Michael returned with a bottle of red Pinot noir and three glasses. They each accepted a glass and Zach took a deep glug.

‘Did you explain about the photographs and what you found out in Ronda?’ Michael said once Lily had quickly brought him up to speed on what had happened.

‘I tried, but they were not interested in hearing what I had to say.’

Lily shrugged. ‘When we are angry, it’s hard to listen, to understand. You need to give them time to recover from the shock and adjust to the possibility that you are right.’

Zach took another drink. ‘I tried to make them understand. But the thing that hurt me more than anything was that Ally and Issy won’t even consider that it’s possible that Mom could have taken me.’

Lily could see how hurtful that would be for Zach. Now at his most vulnerable, he’d never needed his sisters more. And she felt another ache twist her heart. Lily knew that there could only be more heartbreaking moments for Zach and his family, if he was right.

‘Jenny asked me if I’d had a good life. I said yes, of course I had. She said if that was the case the subject should be closed. If Mom did take me, so what? I should be grateful for the life she’d given me.’

‘But what about the life you could have had with me and our family?’ Lily whispered, feeling stung by the injustice of Jenny’s reckoning.

Zach glanced at her and nodded sadly. ‘I keep thinking about that too. I love my family and cannot imagine a world without them, but when I’m with you . . . I feel a connection too. You feel like family to me, Lily.’

Lily’s eyes glistened as she reached over to clasp Zach’s hand for a moment.

He pulled out his phone. ‘Jenny called me an hour ago. She’s given me an ultimatum. She said that if I go ahead and collect the results from the clinic on Wednesday, the family will all disown me. No matter what they are.’

‘She has no right to do that!’ Lily said, feeling her hackles rise in indignation for them and the truth they desperately wanted.

‘I’ve never seen Jenny like that. She’s rattled. She conceded that it’s a possibility that Mom did take me.’

‘She’s scared,’ Lily said. ‘This . . . whatever this is . . . well, it’s a threat to your family. Give her time.’

Zach grimaced. ‘But what if she’s right? If I pursue this and it is true, the consequences could be devastating for everyone. Would Mom face charges? Jenny’s worried that Mom and Dad’s marriage would be unlikely to survive the fallout too. So their divorce would be on my conscience along with breaking up the family.’

Michael omitted a low whistle. ‘That’s a lot to land on your shoulders.’

‘It’s a bloody liberty,’ Lily added, feeling her earlier ire at Zach’s mother now spread to her daughters too. She had tried to empathise with how they must be feeling, but the strain of this was taking an evident toll on Zach. ‘What about your feelings? What about the impact of this on you ? Not to mention our family,’ Lily said. She took a deep breath, and tried to calm herself. Zach didn’t need her anger on top of his sisters.

‘What will you do?’ Michael asked, throwing a worried look in Lily’s direction.

Zach placed his head in his hands. ‘I don’t know.’

Lily saw mirrored sympathy in her husband’s eyes for Zach. He was in an impossible situation. She tapped Zach on his knee lightly. ‘Even if you don’t go to the clinic on Wednesday, I still will. We have to know, one way or the other. My family needs to know.’

‘The horse has bolted, mate,’ Michael said, shrugging. ‘There’s no point closing the stable door now.’

Zach nodded miserably.

‘You could tell your sisters it’s out of your hands now,’ Michael suggested.

‘Yeah. Blame me,’ Lily agreed. ‘Say I refuse to ignore the results.’

Zach stood up, taking his glass of wine with him. He couldn’t sit still, and Lily understood his restlessness. She’d felt the same way ever since he’d walked into her office twelve days ago and blown all their lives up.

‘What kind of a brother would I be if I left you to do all this alone?’ he said, smiling weakly at Lily. ‘I’m Robert. I feel it with every part of me.’ He thumped his chest. ‘And when we go to the clinic together the results will confirm that.’

Lily, her voice filled with empathy, stood up and moved closer to him. ‘I feel that too.’ She placed her own hand over his, which still rested against his heart. ‘I hate seeing you torn between two families. It’s a painful place to be and nobody wants that.’

‘If I ask Kimberly and Jason to stay quiet about it all, for me, will they? If I can reassure my sisters that there will be no criminal charges, they’ll calm down. I know they will.’

Lily’s heart sank because she knew that they couldn’t agree to that, nor did she want them to.

She answered as gently as she could. ‘Zach, you have to know that you can’t steal someone’s child and expect to get away with it. Your sisters will have to accept that too. If you are Robert, your mother will have to face the consequences.’

Zach picked up a framed photograph of Lily and Michael, taken on their wedding day, surrounded by their families. He touched Kimberly’s face gently, ‘By finding my other mother and sister, I stand to lose my mom and family too. How is that fair?’

His voice trembled with sadness and anger, and Lily could find no response to give him.