Page 58 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman (The Marlow Family Secrets #3)

Over the next days, whenever Rob woke, his parents, his uncle or aunt were there to help him drink, eat or fulfil other needs.

As the days progressed, and he became more conscious, and able to see and speak more easily, his father and uncle would sit and talk with him in between bouts of sleep, when the dizzying relief of laudanum claimed him.

His dreams were spent with Caro, walking through woodland or reliving the afternoon they had spent in his bed at the apartment.

After three weeks, when Jane opened the bottle of laudanum, he touched her hand. ‘No more.’

‘But you must still be in pain.’

‘It has improved, I can live with it now.’ His face was no longer swollen, though it probably still had the many-coloured stains of the bruising. He could see the bruises on the rest of his body, so he could imagine his face.

In the hours that followed, the pain was overwhelming. Even his blood ached, as he shivered in a room that was not cold. His mother sat beside him, wiping the sweat from his skin with a damp cloth.

‘The doctor said you ought to reduce the laudanum slowly,’ she murmured, for about the sixth time.

He did not care, the drug made him feel half-dead. He needed to be alive if he was going to persuade Caro to see him as a man to be trusted.

Rob woke in the night shouting, after a gruesome dream about the men who attacked him. His father sat with him then, sleeping in the chair beside his bed.

On the third morning without laudanum, he began to feel more like himself. He woke to find his mother in the chair beside the bed. Her hand held his loosely. She was asleep. He remained still, letting her rest, and fell back to sleep himself, despite the constant hum of pain.

When he woke again, the clock on the mantel across the room chimed twelve times to announce midday.

‘Robbie.’ His mother was with him, and he could smell chicken broth.

‘Do you think I could sit up and use a spoon to eat today?’

‘Yes, of course. I will fetch your father and uncle to help you, just to be safe.’

He moved mostly under his own efforts, while his mother stuffed plumped feather pillows behind his back. Though, his father held him steady so he did not damage his splinted arm or leg. She put the tray on his lap and gave him the spoon. He spilled some drops as his hand was shaky, but he managed.

When he woke the next morning, he felt stronger again. His mother brought him a glass of milk and buttered toast with honey. His childhood favourite. He laughed at the gesture, but laughing hurt his ribs and made him cough .

Later, when his father arrived with his uncle, Rob was still sitting up, leaning back on the pillows.

‘Your mother says you are feeling a little better every day,’ his uncle said.

‘I am.’

‘Your friends are asking after you,’ his father said. ‘They stopped us as we walked out of White’s. They are concerned. I had not realised what a sound group of young men you have as friends.’

Rob had not even thought of them.

‘I told them you are out of town, fulfilling some duty for me.’

‘Thank you.’

‘They asked if it was to do with a parliamentary seat?’ His father’s eyebrows lifted, asking silently what that meant.

Rob said nothing.

‘Mary asks about you in her letters too.’

‘Do not tell her.’

‘I have not, Robbie, but she is worried by your silence.’

The thought of Mary brought forth thoughts of Caro.

His father placed the chair beside the bed and sat down.

His uncle leaned his bottom against the windowsill.

‘We have told all the family that your mother and I are here to help Jane. They think Jane is unwell, and all the children, your sisters and cousins are staying at John’s. So, do you see what a web of lies you have had us spinning?’

What of Caro? He had been dying to ask, but he had not dared. ‘Is Mary there? You said she was writing.’

‘Mary and Drew went home the day we came here.’

Then, Caro would have left with them. ‘I am sorry I have kept you both from the children. I would not have taken all of your attention by choice, Papa.’

‘Nonsense, you are entitled to it. You are my son too. It does not matter that you are grown. Your mother and me will always be here when you need us, and Helen and Jenny are there to take care of the younger ones. We have visited frequently, anyway, so they do not feel deserted.’

His father smiled. ‘I did not come to speak of your brothers and sisters, though. I came to speak of you. Your uncle and I have a proposal for you.’

‘A proposal?’

‘For when you are well.’

‘I am determined to persuade you to take on the manor I talked to you about,’ his uncle said.

‘It would not be charity, a word I have heard you use to describe John’s allowance.

You will have to pay me the rent and therefore manage the farms so they are profitable.

I will expect you to keep the house in good repair too, from what you earn.

It is a business venture, and if you manage the estate well, you would be able to give John his allowance back. I believe that will interest you.’

It did. But… He sighed. ‘I was thinking about this the day I was attacked. I had made up my mind to ask if you would rent the property to me. But I will be honest, because that is not all I want to do. I want to win a seat in the House of Commons.’

His uncle smiled, then nodded.

‘That is a very good idea, Robbie,’ his father said.

‘I wish Henry would have half of your self-possession and conscience,’ his uncle commented.

‘I have faith one day my eldest son will grow up, but for now he is interested in gambling, women and sports and little else. Edward has never needed faith, because you have always shown promise.’ His uncle laughed then, a deep sound from low in his throat. ‘Like father, like son.’

His father laughed too. ‘Well, equally, if Henry is like you, you shall be waiting until he is thirty for the moment that he learns the error of his ways. ’

Rob smiled. Until now, he had not listened to them conversing when they were alone without children to interrupt them. He had gleaned new insights into his father. ‘You are not to take over,’ Rob told him. ‘If I want your help I will ask. I have joined the Whig party and made connections already.’

Uncle Robert lifted his weight from the windowsill, standing tall. ‘I will leave you two to talk. But you will have my vote if you stand in my area, Robbie.’ His uncle smiled again before leaving the room.

His father’s eyes gleamed as the sunlight caught on a sheen of tears. ‘I will not interfere. It is a commendable aim, Robbie. May I offer, though, to find out if there are any seats to be won in that area of Robert’s estates soon?’

‘That is interfering, Papa.’ Rob smiled. ‘But you may save me the time as I shall be stuck in this bed for a few more weeks.’

He began to see the future again. A house made into a home with Caro.

‘By the way, I have checked on your horses several times and told the head groom to exercise them,’ his father said.

‘Today, I called at your apartment and collected your post. There are letters your friends have put through the door, and two letters from Mary.’ He withdrew them from an inside pocket of his morning coat and put them on the chest beside the bed.

Rob’s heart beat quicker in the hope of hearing news of Caro.

‘What happened, Robbie? You have said nothing about the attack, and, well… Caroline is entirely different and you two had become close, yet she left the day this happened. Is she the reason you want no one to know about this? You left without telling anyone you were going that night. Why did you walk home?’

Rob shook his head. He was not prepared to speak of it. He would marry Caro and Kilbride would not win .

‘I was young once. I remember the turmoil I went through when I fell for your mother.’

Rob still did not answer.

‘Did you see the faces of the men who attacked you?’

Rob shook his head. ‘It was pitch-black. They attacked me from behind.’

His father shifted forward in the chair. ‘Robbie, does Kilbride have a reason to hurt you?’

‘ The gentleman said to tell you to leave what is his alone .’

His father lay a hand on Rob’s arm. ‘Tell me honestly. I will not tell your mother, but I want the truth. You are my son and someone hurt you. I have a conscience too. You hate my help, but I cannot do nothing when you are like this.’

‘You have not done nothing, you have cared for me. But I will not hide behind you. If anything needs to be done, I will do it myself.’

‘Do you think it was Kilbride?’

‘You must swear to do nothing.’

‘I swear,’ his father agreed, resting a palm on his chest, over his morning coat, over his heart.

Rob nodded. ‘He saw me speaking to Caro. I think he sent men to attack me.’

‘What did you speak to Caroline about?’

Rob sighed, pain clenching about his heart. ‘We had talked about an engagement. At the ball, she refused and asked me to wait a year or more. We became close in the summer and she came to town to see me.’

‘You are young to think of marriage.’

‘That is what Caro said, and yet she said she loved me. When she danced with Kilbride, it hurt that I could not prevent it without causing gossip. I planned a long engagement but I wanted it to be public, and no longer our secret.’ Emotions clasped at Rob’s throat.

He swallowed. ‘She said we should wait.’

‘Did she know about your desire to work in politics?’

He nodded.

‘Then, perhaps, she wanted to give you the chance to succeed without being forced to rely on us to support a wife. She must have seen how much you hate letting any of the family help you.’

‘I told her we would live on John’s allowance if we must.’

‘On your allowance. You have a right to it. John’s inheritance came from your grandfather. Why should you not benefit?’

Rob sighed. John had said the same. He held his father’s gaze, as a melee of doubt, hope and despair battled in his head.

‘Perhaps she was afraid that if she married you your desire for independence would resurface at some point; that later you might regret giving up your dreams and blame her.’

Rob wished she was here to be asked. ‘I did not say I would give up my dreams, I would have pursued them anyway.’

His father smiled. ‘I am sure you would. But she has lived through one marriage that did not turn out as she imagined.’

‘I know. I have thought that.’

‘If she asked you for time to be convinced, Robbie, my advice would be that you sort out this lease for Robert’s property, and have the house made ready, as long as you will be able to run for Parliament from there.

The doctor said you are to remain in bed for six weeks and put no weight on that leg.

When you are healed, she will have had a chance to miss you.

’ He smiled. ‘Go to see her then, tell her what you have planned, and speak about when she will agree to an engagement. If Caro came to London to see you, the woman who a few months ago would have hidden from both of us, she must want to be with you.’

‘I want her to marry me as soon as I am well.’

‘Then I hope she agrees. I will continue to give you advice, and you may choose to take it or not. I promise not to lead your life for you. It sounds as though you have it planned out well enough. Rest now and read your letters.’ His father stood.

‘If you wish to reply to any of them, ask your mother for help when she sits with you later.’

Rob nodded. ‘Thank you. I do value your advice, Papa.’

His father smiled, then left Rob alone.

Rob opened one of Mary’s letters first.

My dearest brother,

We are so sorry we rushed off without a goodbye.

Andrew said that you would understand, but I fear you must think us awful, and Caro too, especially when you two have been so close.

You will write to me, won’t you? We will probably not come to town again until next spring, so you must not be a stranger, you must come and visit us.

Your loving sister,

Mary

He lifted the second letter and opened that, leaving the first on top of the bed.

Robbie,

You are no longer my favourite brother!

Why have you not replied? I am chastising you constantly and yet Andrew keeps telling me you must be busy doing what young men do in town, and I am not to nag you. So you cannot tell him that I have.

Caro is much changed since we returned. Quiet again. Though, she does everything she did before we visited London. Andrew worries about her.

The children are well. Iris has discovered how to clap and giggles at us when she does it.

It is very sweet. It melts my heart when she does so and Andrew laughs along with her with a twinkle in his eye.

You can imagine just how much he is charmed by it.

I think she does it so much simply to please him.

Write and tell me how you are? What you are up to? It will cheer Caro too, I am sure. And send some word for George, so that he may cease asking me when he will see his Uncle Bobbie next.

Your impatient sister,

Mary

He would not write. Perhaps when his wounds were less raw. But not now. He had nothing to say. His father’s advice was right, he should give Caro time, that is what she asked for. He could not see her as he was anyway. For now, it was better to say nothing.