Page 32 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman (The Marlow Family Secrets #3)

The grey light of dawn leaked through the window shutters when Rob opened his eyes. It took a second or two to remember why he felt something heavy on him. Caro. She lay still, half across him.

He breathed in and smelled the lavender perfume in her hair.

He remained still for a while as the room lightened in slow degrees; listening to her breathe.

But she had to leave. The servants would be waking.

His fingertips brushed across her cheek. ‘Caro.’

She did not wake.

He leaned up so her head slid on to the mattress, then pressed a kiss on her lips. ‘Caro.’

Her eyelids flickered, then lifted.

His thumb brushed her cheek. ‘Good morning, sweetheart.’

Her eyes were pools of liquid gold. Her hand rested against his cheek. ‘Am I dreaming?’

‘No.’

‘You are more beautiful in the morning,’ she said, her eyes studying his face. ‘You might look nice with a beard, the first growth suits you. ’

His thumb touched her chin. ‘You are always beautiful.’

She smiled.

‘Would you believe that I saw this for us on the day of John’s garden party,’ he said. ‘I saw you as a remarkable woman then, and I knew if you were happy again you would be even more beautiful.’

‘You will meet a hundred other women in London,’ she said, ‘and forget me.’

‘I will never forget you.’

She had said she did not want promises; if he married now he would become dependent on his income from John.

He could not speak now. He had nothing to give her but his body.

They were both penniless dependents, he could not build a life living off others.

He would not offer her that. He brushed a lock of hair back and tucked it behind her ear.

‘You need to go to your room, darling, the servants must be up.’

She sighed, expressing her unwillingness.

He laughed. ‘Much as I would love an encore, you know it would be a mistake, you would feel awful if anyone saw you leave my room.’

She rose and bent down, reaching for her nightdress and picking it up from the floor.

‘We will see each other again in a few weeks,’ he said.

She smiled at him, before sliding the nightdress over her head. ‘I know.’

The fabric sheathed her body.

He climbed from the bed and stood in front of her. ‘This is our private goodbye. I will not be able to say things later. I have fallen in love with you?—’

‘You will forget me the minute you reach town. ’

It was as though she was afraid to believe him. But she told him she thought her husband loved her and his affection died.

‘I will not forget you and I shall look forward to seeing you. You will come?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then trust me until then at least.’ He had no experience of love like this. He had no idea how deep his feelings ran compared to others; whether they would stand the test of time. Yet he believed it was love that claimed him, heart and soul.

A tear ran down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb.

‘I will miss you,’ he said.

‘I will miss you too.’

The light in the room was clear. She ought to leave but he would have no other chance to kiss her. He braced her nape and brought her lips to his.

They kissed for long moments, her hands on his shoulders as his held her waist.

He broke the kiss. ‘I will write in hidden words to Mary, and you will come to London, and we will see each other then.’ He promised her the only things he could.

She nodded. ‘We will.’

But then her arms wrapped about his neck and as her forehead fell against his shoulder, he heard the words she had not said, don’t go.

His arms enveloped her and held tight. ‘Sweetheart, you need to leave.’

‘I know.’ She lifted her head, rose to her toes, and kissed his lips. ‘When I say goodbye later, I will want to kiss you and you will know I cannot.’

He nodded, as emotions gathered in a firm knot in his throat. The decision to come to Mary and Drew’s had changed his life .

‘I will go,’ she said, releasing him.

‘I will see you downstairs in a while.’

‘Yes.’

She did not leave.

He pressed another swift kiss on her lips. ‘Go, or I will carry you to your room, and then if anyone saw us, we would be damned.’

She laughed, though it had a hollow sound. Then, she turned away and crossed the room. When she reached the door, she looked back. ‘Goodbye, Rob.’

‘I will see you soon downstairs. Listen for my words in Mary’s letters.’

She nodded, then opened the door and left him.

He sat on the bed and held his head in his hands. His life had changed entirely in the last day. He would marry her, regardless of anything else. Morally he would never be able to live with himself if he did not.