Page 49 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman (The Marlow Family Secrets #3)

The draught that swept across the room as Rob closed the door caused all the candles in the room to flicker.

Caro had hoped Drew would leave her and Rob alone, it was the only reason she had not retired to bed earlier.

‘Sit down again, Caro,’ Drew said with a weary note in his voice. The tone did not express tiredness but some other sort of exhaustion.

‘I am going to bed.’

‘I need to speak to you. Give me your glass and I will pour you another.’

She picked up her glass from a table and gave it to him. At least the liquor might help her sleep.

He returned holding two glasses containing a finger width of brandy. He gave her one and sipped from his as they sat in chairs that faced each other.

‘What is it?’ she pressed. She was tired.

He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs, and shook his head. ‘God, Caro, I do not know how to say this to you. ’

‘Say what?’

He swallowed, although he had not taken another sip, and looked down at the floor. ‘He is infatuated with you.’ He looked up and looked directly into her eyes. ‘It is obvious to me. It must be visible to others too.’

‘Who?’

‘Robbie.’ He held her gaze, waiting to see how she would respond.

She sipped from her glass. The brandy burned her throat as a blush burned beneath her skin.

‘Is there something between you?’

She shook her head, watching the candlelight shimmering on the decorative cuts in the brandy glass.

‘Caro,’ he said in an impatient impassioned tone.

‘I am not a fool. I have eyes. He rarely looks away from you when we are out, and he does not in general dance, which is not unusual for a young man, yet he takes pains to dance with you. Then tonight he deems to tell me how I ought to care for you. I was glad of your friendship with him in the summer. I am glad he has helped you. But, Caro, how far has it gone?’

The heat in her cheeks burned hotter.

‘How far?’

She shook her head, unwilling to discuss what was private.

He breathed in and huffed out the breath, expressing frustration.

‘I have no idea how to say this to my sister, but you must know, Mary and Rob are not like us. They have not been brought up to endure shallow hearts. They have never felt unloved… I am not explaining this… But damn it all to hell, Caro, I hope you have not been behaving like Elizabeth.’

‘Elizabeth…’ Their eldest sister. Caro frowned, not understanding .

‘Yes. Have you seduced him? Have you had intercourse with him? Mary’s bloody brother!’

‘I-I…’

‘Most of Robbie’s family do not participate in affairs, and Robbie is known as a rare young man who does not dally with women. His cousins tease him about his morality.’

‘I did not intend?—’

‘If you have lain with him, as far as I am aware, you are his first. Are you? Have you been playing games with the boy?’

Drew’s words cut like a double-edged sword plunging into her.

‘He is not a boy, and I am not playing games with him.’

‘Are you not?’ Drew’s eyebrows shot up. ‘He is one and twenty, with no property of his own, he will not have the money to buy a property for five or more years, and he is fiercely independent. His independence is very important to him. He would not even look to fund his future with marriage, he will want to earn it. I have not once heard him speak of looking for a wife. So, what is it you are doing if it is not toying with his life?’

Her lips pressed closed, as no words could answer his question.

‘You came to town to see him, did you not?’

She did not answer.

‘I heard his cousins talking about his odd behaviour yesterday. They speak about him in White’s because he avoids that club, because he prefers to avoid their interest in him.

Your name has not yet been linked to his odd behaviour, but it will be soon if you continue this, and it will break him.

He will hate being the centre of gossip. ’

She sipped the brandy because her throat was so dry, then coughed .

‘What happened when you went for that long drive when I was out?’

Warmth flooded her cheeks. ‘It is not what you think.’

‘Is it not? I concede he is not a boy, and I know the two of you formed a friendship in the summer, but it should have gone no further. If you are his first, such a thing engenders emotion and Robbie is a young man with high morals, he will feel obligated to marry you.’

Caro’s teeth caught her lower lip. She wanted to deny everything Drew said, yet it was true.

‘He has said he is in love with you, has he not? It shows in his every look. I imagine it will be a mortal wound to him if you end whatever it is you started. But I urge you to do it, even though it will cut deep. Give the lad time, Caro, let him grow up and find his feet. If there really is something between you it will stand the test of time. He will return to you later. Do not snatch the poor man straight from the cradle.’

‘It is hardly the cradle,’ she said. If she was his first, why had he not said so? The time they’d spent in that empty hut returned. She had urged him. He would not have done it if she had not urged him.

Did I seduce him?

‘I did nothi?—’

‘You have done more than nothing with him. Your face says so.’

‘I have not seduced him, we?—’

‘Who kissed whom first? In fact, you need not even answer, because I know it would not have been him. His morals are too high. It began with a kiss and then…’

She did not know who kissed whom first in the churchyard. But later, she went to the library, and she had gone to his room the second time they were intimate. He would not have come to her .

He had been a kind friend until she made it more than that.

‘You are ashen; you did not know he was innocent, did you?’

She shook her head.

‘Drink some more of the brandy.’

He leaned back in his seat, watching her, and finished his drink in one swallow.

She could not finish hers, she felt sick. She put the glass down on the floor.

‘You will have to explain to him that now is not the right moment for you, that it is better to wait. He will be mortified, Caro, but you must let him get on with his life.’

She nodded, numb.

He rose, walked across the room, and put his glass on the silver tray beside the decanters.

‘I will retire. I had hoped, Caro… I had always thought… that you were not like the others in our family, and yet this… Did you learn nothing from their barbaric ways? He is Mary’s brother!

’ He shook his head as he walked from the room without saying goodnight.

Caro’s heart raced – what if Drew was right and Rob’s feelings were only infatuation? If she had been his first it was likely that they were.

She stood and walked about the room, snuffing out the candles as she thought. If Rob’s love faded after they wed she would be trapped in another unhappy marriage. They would both be trapped.

A footman waited on the landing, holding a candle to light her way to bed. He followed to her room.

Her limbs felt heavy as a maid helped her undress, and Drew’s words spun about her.

Once the maid had left, Caro looked at herself in the mirror and saw the amber cross hanging at her throat. It was the first gift Albert had given her. She promised never to remove it, and she never had, because it was a reminder of happier times.

Her shaking fingers released the clasp, removed the chain and left it and the pendant on the chest of drawers. She needed no reminder now. There was no pleasure in memories of Albert. She had no feelings left for him. The only memories she wished to cling to included Rob.