Page 29 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman (The Marlow Family Secrets #3)

Rob pressed back onto his knees, rising, to kneel up. Now lust had left him, he saw the hut differently. It was dirty and this whole affair was sordid. They had lain on filthy, soiled, wooden boards, semi-clothed, without even removing their boots.

He was no better than Harry.

He got up, a hand clutching at his lowered garments.

Perhaps the scene was sordid, but she was beautiful, lying there half naked. The sensations of conclusion still hummed and skipped through his blood.

He pulled up his underwear and trousers, looking through the dirty window. The rain had ceased, and he had not heard any thunder for a while. It would be the dinner hour soon. Mary and Drew would be waiting for them and wondering where they were.

‘We must go back.’ He looked down at her. She was securing the buttons of her chemise.

His tongue itched to apologise. But he apologised at the beginning and she forgave him then.

She said she would not regret it, nor ask for promises.

There was nothing else for him to say. Yet…

He wanted to make promises, the words hovered on his tongue.

I will come back. Come to town. Write to me… I…

He secured his trousers as she sat up.

Before she could rise and restore her clothing, he leaned down, pressed a palm against her cheek and kissed her lips briefly. ‘I love you,’ he said as he pulled away, ‘but I cannot, I?—’

‘I have no expectations,’ she interrupted. ‘Do not make promises you cannot keep.’

The words had slipped from his mouth, he half believed them. They expressed the sentiments inside, and it seemed wrong to say nothing. ‘I want to make promises to you though.’ He did not wish to merely walk away. She was in his blood now. In his muscles, organs, brain and bones.

‘You said yourself you cannot.’

‘I have nowhere to live, no livelihood.’ He was questioning the possibilities for himself… He ached to make promises. Promises he could see no possibility of keeping. A wife was not a part of his plan, not yet. Not for many years perhaps.

‘I love you also,’ she said. ‘But I will not take your life away from you. As I told you, I expected nothing other than this one moment. Do not make any promise to me.’

He held her gaze. What could he say? A part of him was desperate to go to London, another voice mourned that he must leave her.

‘Will you come to London with Drew and Mary? They will come in the autumn, while the House of Lords sits, they always do. Come with them. If you think you can cope with the entertainments. If you think you could, I would like to see you. I do not want to leave you behind. But I cannot stay here and I cannot visit often. I need to be in town. I plan to become a politician, Caro. I have not told a single member of my family because I hope to achieve a seat in Parliament without their help. To achieve it, I must make connections in London, so, I cannot stay here.’

‘You will make a wonderful politician, Rob, and perhaps a prime minister one day. And I will watch your success and be proud of you. I know you must go.’

‘Will you come to London?’ It would take her courage.

She looked at him for a long moment.

He wished her to come desperately – perhaps this is love…

‘Yes, I will come.’

Joy danced through him, because he would see her again. Once he found his niche in the House of Commons, then he would be able to take a wife.

‘And you will write,’ he urged as he reached for his shirt.

‘No, it would be misunderstood. I am a divorced woman. If I write to a young bachelor even Drew would question it. But I will ask Mary to include things in her letters.’

He pulled his wet shirt over his head, drew it down and tucked it into his trousers.

As he helped Caro put her damp dress back on, the enormity of what they had done washed over him. She was his sister’s sister, she ought to be like a sister to him. This had been wrong. Yet it was their choice and she said she would not regret it. Nor could he.

Rob thought himself as bad as Harry when the lust left him, but… No. He was not like Harry. Harry never thought about making a woman his wife after he bedded her. Harry would think Rob a fool for saying he loved Caro, but Rob did not think it a lie.

He looked at Caro as she struggled with the tiny buttons to secure her habit.

‘I will hide things in my letters to Mary. Ask her to read them to you, and I hope you will know the words I have written for your ears.’

Caro smiled.

Rob’s heart clenched hard in his chest.