Page 44 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman (The Marlow Family Secrets #3)

Rob had slept well, the scents of sex and Caro seeping from his sheets into his soul. He was in love, with Caro and with the act of love. The euphoria of release ached in his muscles when he got out of bed the next morning.

He must strive harder to find a living that would enable him to take care of a wife as well as take up a seat in the House of Commons. Because he thought better when he exercised, he went to his fencing club.

His afternoon was also spent thinking, seated in his brother’s drawing room and wishing the day were yesterday, when he and Caro had been in his bed.

He tried to listen to the dull conversation of numerous female callers, all of whom ogled poor Caro, but he could not turn his mind to it.

His thoughts, instead, sought to solve the puzzle of his life.

When they entered, he knew none of them, but when he was introduced, he did at least pay attention to their names.

To help the poor, he would need allies among the rich; once he had his seat, any bills he presented must be supported by others to win a vote, and wives might influence their husbands .

He uncrossed his legs, shifted in the chair and crossed them again in the opposite direction, fidgeting, and sighing while he moved.

Caro glanced at him as she spoke to someone not far from him.

These women would think him churlish, he was not doing himself any favours, but today, he did not care. Caro had come to town for him, and he was here for her. They both only endured these people so they might sit in the same room without raising questions.

‘Tea, Rob?’ Mary held a cup out to him. ‘You look bored. I’m surprised you came.’

He smiled and accepted the teacup and saucer without comment, leaving Mary to walk away.

Then John caught his eye. John was sitting on the far side of the room. He stood, crossed the room and sat in the seat beside Rob. ‘Have you nothing better to do than this? You spent yesterday with the women.’

Rob rarely spoke to John.

‘But I always forget you have more self-restraint than I did. I would have been racing horses, or… Well, my vices are no longer my vices.’

I used to have self-restraint. No longer. ‘No, they are Harry’s vices now,’ Rob responded with the words John would expect him to say.

‘Quite. But I cannot condemn Harry as you can. I was as bad as he is. My first paramour was Caroline and Drew’s elder sister.’

That fact punched Rob in the chest. He had not known that. ‘Lady Ponsonby…?’

‘Yes. Has she approached you?’

‘God, no.’ Rob shook his head, wondering why the hell John was speaking to him of such things .

‘She likes young men. In fact, she has a passion for them. I only say because I admire your discipline, but I would be on your guard now you are in town. In my innocence, I fell for her charm. It took me until I met Katherine to realise that it had never been true affection, merely a craving. Like wine and the throw of a dice, sex can be a drug of sorts, and some women tempt you and trap you.’

Rob’s lips lifted briefly in a forced smile, trying not to let John see how untimely his warning was.

‘So, what have you been up to? I could put some work your way if you are bored.’

Rob sipped his tea, to calm his response. ‘Thank you, but no, thank you. I want to forge my own path.’

‘That is admirable. I am only glad the income I give you is allowing you the time to consider your choice.’

A bitter taste burned the back of Rob’s throat, and he nearly spat out a mouthful of tea.

John’s smile suddenly twisted sideways, the expression saying he was teasing, as any brother might. ‘Do I annoy you with my largesse?’

Rob sighed, and smiled, taking John’s conversation for what it was – kindness. ‘Yes, I admit. There is nothing fulfilling about living on your charity.’

‘It is not charity. I am giving you a foothold. Accept it for what it is, a gift. You are my brother, you have a right to share in the fortune I have inherited from our grandfather. Drew has made himself on the dowry I gave Mary. He purchased his property with it, but it is he who manages his estate and has achieved the profits. Do you think less of him because he took that money?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Then why do you think less of yourself because I give you money? Did you know your father’s property was bought with Mama’s dowry?’

Rob shook his head.

‘Accepting money is not demeaning. It is sensible.’

‘I do not mean to insult you?—’

‘I am not insulted. I can imagine how difficult it must be to carve your own path in the world behind a brother who is a Duke. But you will, and I hope you will use my gift to help.’

‘Are you telling me to stop sulking?’

John laughed. ‘Perhaps. Was that all I needed to say?’

‘I was not sulking. I was thinking.’

‘Very well, keep thinking. But while you do, give yourself permission to be young. You are far too sober at times. I know you well enough to guess you have a vision for yourself, with some high ideal. Neither Papa nor I would hold you down, but we do want to see you happy.’

‘Your Graces,’ Finch called across the room as another stranger walked in beside him. ‘Lady Newbury.’

Another round of introductions ended their conversation.

After his dull day in the drawing room, because he said he wanted to spend some time with his family, it would have looked odd if Rob did not accept an invitation to dine with them.

So, in the evening, he attended Aunt Penny’s and Uncle Richard’s home, for a meal to which all the family who were in London had been invited.

Of course, now Caro was more confident, she was seated between men, neither of which was him.

He had escorted one of his young female cousins in to dine, having been nowhere near Caro when supper was announced.

He was also at the other end of the table from her .

At Rob’s end of the table, the topic of conversation turned to, what might Rob do with his life? He was not sure who began it, but everyone about the lower end of the table started recommending occupations, and it became an amusement with silly suggestions.

‘Elephant trainer!’ his cousin Eleanor said. A round of laughter followed.

His stomach roiled with embarrassment, as he felt his cheeks burn. He did not look at Caro, but kept his gaze on his glass of wine, or his plate, despite sensing her gaze on him.

His male, entitled, cousins had something to say, of course.

‘A pugilist. You are good at boxing, Robbie. You punched me once at school.’ Gregory, Greg, was a year older than Rob, a cousin on his mother’s side, and heir to the Earl of Preston. His mother’s sisters all married men with titles.

‘You could run a poor house,’ Frederick, the heir to the Duke of Bradford, said. ‘You like helping people, don’t you?’ Fred, was six months Rob’s junior, but his title still made him conceited.

Rob was never friendly with his male cousins on his mother’s side, he actively avoided them at Eton and Oxford. They were all Harry’s friends.

‘We are heading out to the clubs after dinner, Robbie, for a game of Farrow. Will you join us? That, of course, is another option, you could become a cardsharp,’ Henry, his Uncle Robert’s son, called from further along the table, spreading the conversation and laughter further.

‘You are too much of a prude to do anything exciting. Whatever you do, it will need to have a ledger,’ Fred said, descending into the verbal stabs Rob was used to from his cousins.

His school years had been full of these digs, but not normally in front of his uncles and aunts – and not in front of Caro.

‘I prefer to be a prude if it means I have morals,’ he snapped back, his voice cutting across other conversations .

‘I spent most of my time at the races when I was your age. That is what led me into breeding horses,’ Forth, his father’s close friend, stated. He was seated across the table, much further along, beside Caro. Rob glanced at him, avoiding looking at her.

‘Have you thought of breeding horses?’ Rob’s Uncle Richard asked from the head of the table, highlighting that the conversation now included everyone.

A desire to throw down his napkin, rise, thank them all for their interest, but tell them to mind their own business, lanced through Rob’s body. Instead, he fixed a smile on his face and looked at Forth. ‘Forth says I do not have the right eye.’

‘I did not say that,’ Forth denied. ‘I said your eye is better suited to carriage stock. The mares you spotted would have bred perfect pairs.’

‘I am going to the market in Spitalfields this week, Robbie,’ Drew said. ‘If you would like to come with me?’ The question was followed by a look that said, say yes and we will shut them up.

‘Thank you, Drew. Yes. I accept.’ Rob’s blunt pitch said, I have heard enough on this subject .

Greg lifted his glass in a toast-like gesture and grinned.

Rob wondered if he had begun the conversation for his own amusement.

But it meant John was not the only one who had noticed Rob disliked being kept.

He hated it when his cousins looked down from their elevated entitled positions in life and mocked him.

He sighed and reached for his glass, picturing himself throwing his wine over Greg.