Page 22 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman (The Marlow Family Secrets #3)

Rob watched Caro drink her cup of chocolate. She did not participate in any further conversation, then excused herself and left the table. Rob’s gaze followed her as she walked from the room.

She had neither said nor done anything obvious that implied the article in the paper had upset her, yet Rob knew it had. He knew her too well.

He looked at Drew, his thumping headache forgotten, and asked to see the paper without speaking.

Drew folded the newspaper and passed it over. ‘Announcements.’

Rob opened it up and looked through the pages. Mary rose and walked about the table to look over his shoulder.

He found the page and scanned it. Kilbride’s name jumped out. ‘An heir,’ Rob said aloud.

Mary, who had leaned forward, straightened and looked at Drew. ‘Should I find her and sit with her this morning?’

Drew shook his head. ‘Let her do as she wishes. She will come to terms with it. ’

But Rob thought it would be best if she was not alone. ‘I will ask her if she wishes to go for a walk with George, or ride.’

‘Leave her be, Rob, there is no need,’ Drew said.

‘It is kind of you to offer, Rob, but Andrew knows her best,’ Mary said.

That was not true. Caro told Rob things Drew did not know. No matter that Rob swore, while drinking himself into a stupor last night, that he would stay out of her way in future, he could not let her endure this alone.

‘Then, I will go back upstairs and lie down,’ he lied. He knew she would be in the gardens.

Mary and Drew gave him sympathetic looks.

When he left the dining room, he went in search of her, wondering how much Drew’s influence had hindered Caro, not helped her. By ignoring her anxiety, Drew forced her to simply endure it.

She was sitting on the lip of the pond, one palm on the stone rim, while the other hand played with the water, her fingertips making patterns with ripples.

‘Caro?’

She stood up quickly, the water dripping from her fingertips.

There were tear stains on her cheeks. She wiped them away with her wrist.

‘I am sorry about last night. It was wrong of me—’ he began, but she interrupted.

‘You have nothing to apologise for. It was wrong of me to come down in my nightdress, and you asked me to leave.’

If she deserved nothing else, she deserved honesty from him. ‘I am not wholly sorry. I was sitting there longing to do those things with you. I have thought you beautiful for weeks, then last night you shone at that dance, and my resolve broke. It does not normally. That is what I apologise for. ’

‘And I cannot accept your apology because it was my fault. I presented myself in a state that must… Well… Albert told me about the uncontrollable nature of men’s urges.’

A deep splinter of a laugh erupted from Rob’s throat. It hurt his head.

She hit his arm. ‘Do not laugh at me.’

‘I am not laughing at you, I am laughing at him. Your husband was an ass. Men can control themselves. Did I not stop last night? The only time men do not control themselves is when they choose not to. The problem last night was that I did not want to stop, I was not rejecting you, if you still think that. I do not even particularly regret what we did, but yet I know it was wrong, and so I apologise.’

As she stepped forward, a cuckoo called from somewhere distant. ‘Then I still do not accept your apology. I do not regret it either. So, let me also be sorry for this.’ Her lips pressed against his.

He had no desire to stop this, his tongue pushed into her mouth as her fingers embraced his nape and his shoulder.

His hands found her bottom and held her close, but only for a moment. This was neither the time nor the place. ‘You are forgiven,’ he said over her lips.

‘So are you,’ she answered.

‘Drew showed me the newspaper,’ he said in a different tone of voice. ‘I know.’

A blush coloured her skin pink. He found her crying, and she said once that she had loved Kilbride. Was she embarrassed that he knew about her emotions? Or embarrassed by them?

‘It does not matter.’ She turned away.

‘Does it not?’

‘No.’ She walked to a flowerbed and admired an ornamental daisy as though it were the crown jewels .

‘Has it upset you?’

‘No.’

‘Caro, this is me. You may speak freely. Tell me.’ He went to her and wrapped his arms about her middle, hugging her from behind, offering the comfort he knew she would deny she needed. ‘How does it feel? Does it hurt you?’

Her hands settled over his. ‘Yes. But I should not hurt, should I? Envy is a destructive feeling. But I wanted a child, and we could not have one. That was where his anger stemmed from.’

‘Did he hit you for that? The man was a beast.’

She rested her head back against his shoulder. He kissed her temple.

‘I left him because of the violence, yet he divorced me so he might find a wife who would give him an heir. He has his son now and what do I have? I can never have a child.’

His arms tightened about her. He could not think of the right words to say. Platitudes would be pointless, so he simply kept hold of her.

She turned in his arms and her hands held his waist. ‘I will say sorry now,’ she said before she kissed him.

Last night he had been gripped by lust, with liquor flowing in his veins. In daylight it became a gentle pull. There was no urgency. He merely wished to indulge in these new sensations. He was not sorry they had taken this turn in their friendship.

But it is still neither the time nor the place. He broke the kiss. ‘You are forgiven.’

She smiled.

‘Shall we go to the nursery, so you can play with George? You are not without a family, Caro, and George and Iris may ease the ache.’

‘Yes. I would like to see George. We could bring him downstairs to the drawing room to play, and I would like to hold Iris. ’

‘Come, then.’ He took her hand.

It was entirely foolish to become attached to her, and yet if all they did was kiss, and if all he did was offer comfort, what harm was there?

When the house came into view he let go of her hand.

They walked in, talking jovially of the assembly the night before, and climbed the stairs to the nursery. When they reached it, Drew and Mary were there and George was in the process of using his papa as a climbing frame. When he saw Rob, he shouted, ‘Tumble!’

Mary held Iris in her arms. She brought her across to Caro and lay her in Caro’s arms. That was the comfort that Caro needed most, simply to hold a child.