Page 51 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman (The Marlow Family Secrets #3)

When a servant struck a gong to say luncheon would be served, Rob was hungry. He had taken off his morning coat because it was warm in the sunshine while they were running, but he pulled it back on as he walked towards the marquees where the tables had been laid.

George caught up with him and his hand slipped into Rob’s.

Caro was sitting beside Mary on a blanket, holding Iris. Phillip was nowhere in sight. They already had full plates beside them.

The summer gathering at John’s came to mind, when he shared a blanket with her and scared her off. He did not know her at all then.

‘Shall I fill a plate for you, Robbie?’ Jenny offered.

‘That would be kind, thank you. George and I will sit down next to his mama, then.’

Rob sat at the bottom of the blanket, George sat on Mary’s lap. ‘Hello,’ he said cheerily, acting brighter than he felt, denying the jealousy her refusal to travel with him had engendered.

Caro smiled awkwardly, blushing a little.

There was still that sense that something was not right in her behaviour. She was definitely not in a good humour today .

‘Would you like some lemonade, Robbie?’ He looked up. Helen handed him a glass.

‘Thank you.’

Drew was queuing to fetch a plate of food, looking at the blanket where they all sat.

Rob smiled, and Drew smiled too.

‘Did you see me hit the ball, Aun’ie Caro?’ George knew his mother had seen. Mary had whooped and applauded from the sidelines.

‘Yes, I did, George.’

‘And we ran.’

‘I know.’

‘I hit the ball right across the field.’

‘I saw. You were very clever.’

‘And you are wonderfully patient, Rob,’ Mary teased.

‘What is patient, Mama?’ George asked.

‘What everyone needs when they are faced with your energy,’ she replied.

Caro chuckled. Rob smiled, he was not in the mood to laugh.

‘He has always been good with the younger children.’ His father stood behind Rob, with his mother.

‘Shall I shuffle up?’ Mary offered.

‘No, we will sit on the blanket beside this,’ their mother answered.

An uncomfortable prickle ran up Rob’s spine as his sisters’ description of his parents’ conversation came to mind. He did not want them near him, observing him, when he was near Caro.

‘Can I have something to eat?’ George asked, looking at Rob’s plate.

‘Your father will be here in a moment with something for you,’ Mary said.

Rob held out his plate anyway. ‘You may take a piece of the cold pie, but, hush, do not tell your mama,’ he joked, smiling at Mary.

George gave him a devilish, cheeky little grin that was very like Drew’s expressions, then crawled forward, picked up the piece of pie and tumbled onto his back.

Mary laughed as George sent her a furtive look. ‘Grandmama.’ He crawled off to the next blanket, to obtain a safe place to eat his piece of pie.

‘Grandpapa!’ Paul called. A footman followed him with two plates in hand. ‘May David and I sit with you?’

‘Of course, sit here.’ Edward patted the blanket.

‘Lord Sale.’ The footman handed Paul his plate.

Was it any wonder Rob’s cousins had grown up arrogant, or that Rob had grown up feeling inferior?

There was Paul, literally handed everything, and George, who would spend his childhood comparing himself to his cousin.

Inferiority… Perhaps, but even so, if Rob suffered from that emotion, it had engendered his desire to help others and he thought that a good thing.

John and Kate arrived with Phillip. They sat on Rob’s parents’ blanket, while Phillip walked around and sat beside Caro. Rob’s skin prickled with jealousy.

When Drew returned, there was only space for him on the very edge of the blanket.

He spoke to Edward about stock management, asking questions.

Rob listened. He always found it interesting when Drew talked about things.

Drew had only recently learned about farming.

The market Rob had agreed to go to with him was tomorrow, it might be interesting.

Farming was an option he had dismissed because his father earned his money from farming.

Yet, a landowner did not need to work on his land.

That would fund a place in Parliament and enable him to have the time to attend the House of Commons .

‘How did you get started?’ he asked them both. ‘I mean, I know how you came by the lands, but where did you begin?’

‘Are you interested in farming now?’ His father grinned, amused. ‘You have paid no interest before.’

‘Perhaps, Papa. I am allowed to explore the idea.’

‘I am sorry,’ he apologised. ‘I should not have teased you. Yes, you are, and I shall be very happy to discuss my experience with you, Robbie.’

‘Most of it, day to day, I leave to others,’ Drew said. ‘As you saw when you stayed with us, but I do like to understand things to be able to make decisions, and I like working with the animals. I learned by asking questions, of your father, John’s steward and the tenants who manage my farmlands.’

‘I learned from the steward on your uncle’s estate,’ his father said. ‘Your Uncle Robert has a vacant tenancy. It’s a large estate. You would make a fair profit. I can ask him about it if you would like.’

‘I am able to speak to him myself if I am interested,’ Rob answered. This was what happened if he mentioned anything to his family; within a moment it was all planned out for him.

‘Well, Robert would willingly let the property to you, because you are my son and you were named after him, after all.’

‘It would be a family favour, then.’ Rob’s pride – or sense of inferiority – bit back.

Perhaps, in his own way, Rob was as self-centred as his cousins, or for him the word would be self-pitying. Caro must think he was cutting off his nose to spite his face by not welcoming their help. But he could not easily ignore the feelings within him when he had lived with them since childhood.

Rob looked towards the River Thames, angry with himself.

‘Shall we take the children for a walk along the riverbank to see the swans?’ Caro suggested .

He glanced over his shoulder. Had she been listening to his conversation and sensed his discomfort? Or perhaps the suggestion had been made to Phillip?

That thought slashed at Rob’s chest.

She did not meet his gaze as he looked at her, but looked at George.

‘Yes!’ George shouted. He would do anything if it meant he need not sit still.

‘May David and I come, please?’ Paul asked.

‘Of course you may.’ Drew stood up and brushed crumbs from his waistcoat.

Rob stood too, hoping for a chance to speak to Caro, and hoping, therefore, his father and mother would not come.

Caro passed Iris to Mary and rose.

‘I will walk with you.’ Phillip got up.

Rob felt like punching him firmly on the jaw.

Caro smiled, but it expressed no particular pleasure as she lay her hand on his arm.

‘Let me take Iris. She will probably sleep if I take her for a walk.’ Drew rose and took her from Mary, his eyes glowing with pride as he looked at their daughter.

The expression showed how different the emotions associated with pride were, compared to feelings of inferiority. Rob had been mistaken about himself for years.

Rob got up. He could hardly bow out now without people guessing something was wrong, and Caro would think he was sulking again. Paul caught hold of Rob’s hand. ‘May I walk with you, Uncle Robbie?’

Rob smiled, understanding that Paul was capable of jealousy too. He wanted Rob’s attention because George would want it. ‘George.’ Rob offered his other nephew his other hand.

A footman followed them, with a loaf of bread that the children were offered chunks from to tear up and feed to the ducks. Caro walked on with Phillip, without children to slow them down, appearing to be contentedly conversing.

‘George!’ Paul called. ‘I have some!’

George had used all his bread, so Paul gave him half of what he had left.

Grinning gratefully at his cousin, George took it. ‘Thank you.’

Hell , Rob cursed himself. That is all John is doing – sharing with me – and John’s inferior little brother was throwing his kindness back in his face.

Rob looked towards Caro. She was looking at him. There was no smile for him today, she still looked sad.

‘Uncle Bobbie.’ George had doubled over and reached his hands through his legs to be somersaulted. When Rob had fulfilled the task, he caught Drew watching with a gaze that appeared sad too, though it was more complex, there was sympathy within it.

Why?

When the carriages were loaded for the journey home, Rob hoped to offer to take Caro, but she remained too far away from him to give him any opportunity to speak. Again, he was forced to watch her accept Phillip’s hand.

At John’s house, Rob helped Jenny and Helen down from the carriage, and entered the hall with everyone, but without any intent to stay. The house was too full for him to be able to speak to Caro. He slipped into John’s library, found a sheet of writing paper, and used John’s quill and ink.

Dearest Caro,

I wish I could have prevented you enduring that dance with Kilbride last night.

I am sorry I did not. Yet that dance has made me come to a decision.

I can protect you without causing gossip if we are engaged.

I want to announce our engagement immediately, if you are in agreement?

I am sorry, it may be a long engagement, yet at least we would no longer need to hide what we feel.

He thought of Caro walking with Phillip, of her hand on Phillip’s arm, their heads close as they talked. The quill hovered over the page. He was tempted to say something that would admit his jealousy, but this was not about Phillip. This was about defending her.

Yours sincerely and devotedly,

I love you

Rob

He folded the letter, picked up the scarlet piece of wax, the candle and flint to light it, then melted the wax until a few drops had sealed the letter.

He would have to take a risk and give the letter to one of John’s servants to pass on.

He slipped the letter into the inside pocket of his coat and went into the hall to say his goodbyes.

The commotion was over, the family had gone up to the informal drawing room, and Finch with them.

There was one footman left in the hall, perhaps because Finch knew Rob was in the library; Finch rarely missed such things because it was his job to know where the family were.

Rob walked across. ‘I have a letter to be delivered to someone’s room,’ he said quietly, nervous of his voice carrying in the vast marble hall. ‘Do not let anyone see you take it there.’

The footman nodded, his eyes intrigued .

‘I shall give you thre’pence, but you must swear to me that no one will know.’

‘I swear, sir.’

Rob handed over the letter and the pennies. The footman slipped the letter inside his waistcoat, and the money into his pocket. ‘Thank you, sir.’

‘Deliver it to Lady Kilbride’s room. I am leaving now, so if any of the family ask after me please tell them I had another engagement to attend.’