Page 67 of The Illicit Play

Clenching my jaw, I battle the tingling in my nose, the swelling in my throat, and the burning in my eyes until we pull off the highway and head down a dirt road to what must be a trail entrance.

“Are we going hiking or something?”

Grady grins, his smile all things sexy when he glances at me. “Nah. There’s just a great view I want you to see.”

It takes another five minutes down this bumpy-ass road, but we eventually pull into a clearing and Grady parks his Jeep, overlooking a stunning vista. The valley stretches out before us, green and beautiful. It takes my breath away for a second, and I get out of the car, jumping down and wandering around the hood so I can get a better view.

“Wow,” I whisper, leaning back against his Jeep and just soaking it in. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah. One of my favorite spots.” Grady climbs up on the hood, his legs dangling as he drinks in the view. “Skyis clearing.” He points to a big patch of blue between the scattered clouds.

Squinting up, he shades his eyes from the sun before looking back down at me.

I give him a twitchy smile.

“Come on.” He holds out his hand to me, and I can do nothing but take it.

He helps me onto the hood, and I sit beside him, our legs kicking next to each other. We’re like little kids on a park bench that’s too big.

And right this second… it’s the best feeling in the world.

Staring out at this vast valley below, the breeze tickling my blotchy, tender skin, the sun warming the top of my head… my insides find a calm I’m not used to feeling.

I don’t even recognize it at first; it just slowly seeps through me, and after a few moments of silence, I become aware of this loosening in my chest. My shoulders start to relax, and with a soft sniff, I rest my head against Grady’s shoulder and let out a long, slow breath.

“Think we could just stay here forever? Just like this?” I whisper.

Grady waits a beat, and then his soft, deep voice fills the void. “It’d be nice. But not possible.” Gently hitching his shoulder, he encourages me to sit up so he can swivel and look at me. “Blake, you?—”

“I know.” Dipping my chin, I thread my fingers together, then figure the valley view will make things easier to get through, so I fix my eyes on a crop of trees and start talking, the way I know he wants me to.

I start with the first day I arrived in Chicago and just spill everything.

And I meaneverything.

I have no idea what possesses me to tell him all my dirty little secrets. Maybe I feel like I owe him after rescuing me twice in less than a week. I don’t know. But I haven’t really shared any of the shit I’ve been going through with anyone, and I obviously have zero control once that door is unlocked, because it all comes out.

Even the shit I pulled with Cleo… and Simon and Nico. That weird-ass four-way relationship we shared together. How fucking screwed up that all was. How Cleo got me stealing and skipping class and…

Shit, I can’t just lay all the blame on her.

I followed, didn’t I?

Like a fucking sheep with zero brain cells!

“I don’t even know how I let it happen,” I admit with a shrug.

Grady hasn’t said anything yet, and I’m too scared to look at him and check his reaction. He’s probably horrified that Wily’s sweet baby sister could fall so far.

“But I was so pissed off with that professor, and I had to get him back…” I shake my head and huff. “What the hell was I thinking? I’m lucky he didn’t press charges. Thankfully, I managed to pay for the damage to be repaired, and he left it at that. It helped that I agreed to leave the school, just quietly walk out the door and never come back.”

My shame hangs in the air for a minute before Grady eventually murmurs, “So you weren’t officially kicked out?”

With a loud huff, I confess, “No. It just feels that way sometimes. But I knew the fallout for staying, for takingthat academic suspension was…” I shake my head. “I couldn’t handle it.”

“So you took the fall, even though it was Cleo’s idea?”

“Actually, I think it was Simon’s. The spray paint belonged to Nico. And they stood around and cheered me on… Cleo taking photos.” My expression crumples, my eyes burning so hot, I have to close them and try to speak past the lump in my throat. “I never thought she’d use them against me like this,” I rasp.