Page 197 of The Illicit Play

My throat swells as she says my name and lets out a delighted laugh.

“Tyrell Jackson? No way!” She rushes down the bar, slapping her hands on the wood. “What are you doing here?”

“What areyoudoing here?” I point at her.

She tips her head back, laughing some more. “I just moved here in January. New year, fresh start. You know how it is.”

I nod, drinking her in. She’s still pretty. It’s a fucking crime that Atlas isn’t here to enjoy it.

“So…” I lean against the bar, watching her carefully. “You doing okay?”

Her eyes crease at the corners as she shrugs, putting on a brave smile. “How about you?”

“Yeah.” I nod, then lick my bottom lip and swallow. “Nolan’s good. ’Bout to finish my senior year.”

“Congratulations.” Her voice is soft, her gaze dropping to the counter.

I nod, wondering if I should have kept in touch. But she wasn’t my girlfriend. And all the shit surrounding Atlas’s death? It was too much. I just had to get out of there.

“You ever gone back?” she murmurs.

I shake my head. “My family’s in Texas now, so…”

“Okay.” She nods, dipping her chin. “Yeah, I stayed for a while, but you know, he was just everywhere. It didn’t matter how much time passed… I couldn’t dodge the memories.” Her eyes glass, and when she glances up at me, I can feel my heart breaking all over again.

I miss my friend.

I miss him so fucking much.

Sucking in a breath, she’s obviously trying to steel herself as she crosses her arms. “It’s been…”

“Two years, three months, and ten days,” I finish for her, that night burned into my brain for all eternity.

I can still hear her screams as she held Atlas in her arms and begged him to wake up.

His eyes were blank, his face practically gray, and I will never get over that harrowing moment.

She gives me a sad smile and nods. “It’s been really hard to move on, you know?”

“Yeah,” I croak. “I get it.”

“But I have to learn to live without him.” She shrugs. “I’m hoping a change of scenery will help.”

“It will,” I assure her. “I wouldn’t have survived if I hadn’t had this place. I would have… drowned in Colorado Springs. He would have haunted me around every corner. Being up here has helped me… move on.”

Her brown eyes shoot to mine. “Yet you still know exactly how long it’s been since that night.”

My forehead crinkles, and I’ve got no reply to that. I’ll never forget. I can never forget.

“Hey, Dani! We’ve got people waiting,” a tall guy down the other end of the bar calls. “Can I get a hand down here?”

“Sure thing.” She holds up her finger. “One second.” Her smile is warm as she looks back up at me. “It’s nice to see you again, Ty.”

“Yeah, you, too, Dani.”

My throat is swelling again, and I can’t explain it.

Part of me wants to ask her if she’d like to catch up for coffee sometime, but I don’t know if I can.