Page 13 of The Illicit Play

He’ll never be cool with me lusting after his sister. Not when my heart is still hurting over Teah. It’s messed up, and I won’t go there.

Which means I have to get out of this fucking house.

Closing the door behind me, I trot down the stairs, embracing the cool night air. I need that shit to wake me up, slap some sense into me.

Thank fuck spring break is only two and a half weeks away. Coach is giving us a long weekend, meaning spring training doesn’t start until Tuesday afternoon. That’ll give me three entire days in the forest… and I can’t wait.

It’ll be good for me to get out of Nolan and hike my favorite trails. It’s a much-needed getaway with my buddies. Unfortunately, not all of them can make it anymore. Which sucks. Big-time. It was Wily’s idea, and now the poor guy is injured. I offered to cancel, but he told me no way. He’s gonna spend the weekend with Satch, and I think he’s looking forward to having the house to themselves.

Zander wanted to come, but Sienna’s parents are taking them away in the camper van, and I told him that family time was more important. So he’s doing that, which just leaves me, Carson, Tyrell… and I invited my dad too. Because the guy is awesome and taught me everything I know about the outdoors.

Since my breakup, I’ve only seen him once. I went down and spent a weekend with him and his girlfriend. It was good to get away, and he let me mope around his house, not asking anything of me. But I couldn’t hide away there forever, so I forced my butt back to Nolan.

It’ll be good to see my old man again.

He asked me if I wanted to invite my big brother, Owen, and was probably bummed out when I said no. But I’m going away to feel better about myself, and bringing that dick along will only ruin shit.

He wouldn’t want to come anyway.

Ever since the divorce, Dad’s been trying to get back into Owen’s good graces, but I say it’s an impossible task.

My brother made the choice not to forgive. He sided with Mom, whereas I supported Dad. It caused a rift we all have to live with now.

That idiot is missing out on a relationship with the best father in the world. That’s his loss.

Still, it breaks Dad’s heart, which then pisses me off.

Yes, my old man made a mistake. He fell into a one-night stand that he instantly regretted. It destroyed his marriage. But only because Mom couldn’t get past it.

He was instantly remorseful and would have done anything to make up for his mistake. Mom wouldn’t have it. Not one tiny bit, and I can’t help wondering if she used it as an excuse to bail, because within one year of the divorce, Mom was married to Emilio and pregnant with my half-brother, Jamar. I was fucking salty over that one, and as soon as I was old enough to choose for myself, I moved in with Dad.

I didn’t sign up to live with an overactive toddler and a crying baby.

My two half-brothers aren’t all bad. Now that they’re ten and eight, I’m starting to like them a little more, although Luis can still be a pain in the ass. But Mom’s happy, and so I do my duty and spend a few weekends there each year, like the good boy I am.

But Dad’s the guy I spend the majority of my time with, because unlike Owen, I refuse to hate on him.

He made a mistake.

It was a shitty one, but he tried to fix it, do what he could to make it right, and Mom wouldn’t let him.

Even at the age of ten I understood that. I don’t see why my brother can’t.

Picking up my pace, I speed-walk away from Football Frat, hating this restless, antsy feeling inside me. I want to break into a sprint and burn this shit off, but it never works, and now my PT is on my ass telling me I’m doing too much.

I have to rest or my body is gonna hate me for it.

So I’ll fucking walk like I’m supposed to.

But damn… this energy inside me is burning hot lava.

I just want things to go back to the way they were.

I miss Teah.

I miss how uncomplicated it all was.

She wasn’t related to any of my friends; she was simply a sweet sorority girl who caught my eye. We knew each other from school, and I’d hang with her at sorority parties or college events. And then last spring break, things shifted between us.