Page 9 of The Handyman and The Drama Queen (Myths, Legends, and Southern Charm #1)

Stone

Skeptical was the only way I could describe his expression.

But it seemed to work like getting aroused because he was so solid he made the chair squeak every time he shifted…not that he seemed to realize it.

No. Ezra was so distracted by the idea of being spanked, he had no idea how alive he looked, and it would’ve been weird if I hadn’t already seen it under naughtier circumstances. “How about we explore it a little differently?”

He was curious, but it was so far out of his wheelhouse he couldn’t separate out the nervousness and the excitement.

“Let me find a video online that’s more than simply educational and less than porn.” There had to be some cute attention whore who’d talked his Dom into spanking him to share with the internet. Just to be helpful, of course.

Ezra swallowed hard but nodded slowly after a few seconds. “A more real example but with the erotic bits included so…so it gives a more accurate showing of what it might be like.”

“Exactly.” Opening up my lunch box as his body started to relax and go back to his normal state, I did my best to sound calm and confident. “I’ll look for some options tonight and then hopefully have something to show you tomorrow.”

I thought that’d make things easier for him but I could see his body change as his anxiety rose again. “Should we put that off a bit longer?”

And he was see-through again.

So no?

Blinking a few times, Ezra cocked his head. “No. That’s fine.”

Digging out the sandwich I’d packed earlier, I wished for something heartier as I tried to decide how to continue the discussion. “Your emotions changed drastically about something. I can be polite and ignore it, but that’s not my first choice. I’d rather ask you questions and get to the issue or handle whatever thoughts popped up in your head. Is it sexual? Is there something you’ve seen online that worried you?”

There was certainly enough weird shit online that something could’ve given him a strong reaction now that we were talking about actually exploring BDSM, but the immediate way he blushed and shook his head said I’d gone down the wrong track.

“No. I.” Clamping his lips together and looking like he was trying to subtly take a deep breath, I marveled at how solid he looked again.

Maybe it was tied to a fight or flight response in some way?

Did sex trigger the same hormones?

Pushing away the rabbit trail of thoughts that would lead me down, I started in on my sandwich and made sure all Ezra could see was me waiting patiently. I was going to be stubborn until he safeworded or I got some kind of understandable response.

Reasonable or not.

It took him about thirty seconds to realize that, though.

“You’re going to just wait me out, right?” When I nodded, he gave an adorably dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes. “And my choices are probably to answer or use that safeword thing?”

Swallowing, I grinned. “Yep.”

That got me a huff and a scowl that made him look like a kid stomping his feet when he hadn’t gotten what he wanted. “I don’t appreciate that.”

It was too ridiculous to respond to with words, so I raised one eyebrow and took another bite. It had his eyes rolling around again like dice. “All you need is an apple in your hand and you’d look like some kind of TV villain.”

Such a brat.

But I got him back when I reached in my lunch box and pulled out an apple. “You were saying?”

Ezra groaned and collapsed against the table in a puddle of drama, hiding his surprisingly solid face against the terrible flat-pack monstrosity. “Fine. You win.”

“Thank you.” That didn’t mean I was going to back down, though. “I’ll be patient. Don’t worry.”

Letting out a groan that made me want to laugh, Ezra huffed and puffed until he actually gave in, but his pushback was to keep his head still on the table. “I was thinking about the dating thing and my thoughts were bouncing in a dozen different directions, but basically it was about if this was healthy for you and if you should come back and how we’d date and what the end goal of something like this could be if I couldn’t even give you a blow job.”

He had legitimate worries, but he kept going before I could acknowledge that. “I know anal isn’t the end all be all of a relationship but I can’t even cuddle you. That can’t be healthy in the long run even if there have to be people who manage it somehow. And then I started thinking about what a relationship could look like when I can’t even go out on a date with you.”

When the flood stopped, he went boneless and looked slightly defeated but definitely more solid than he realized. “Do you want my thoughts on how we handle your issues…legitimate ones, I might add…or do you want sympathy for the moment?”

That had him going still and some of the drama receded a tiny bit. “Is both an option? I’m not ready to stop being frustrated yet.”

Laughing would’ve been a terrible response, so I was proud of myself for keeping my delight to just a smile. “Yes, both is an option.”

“Okay, good. Thank you.” He made polite and dramatic seem like a perfect fit, sounding slightly better but not moving at all yet.

“Firstly, I want to acknowledge that you have perfectly reasonable worries and thoughts about how we’re going to handle this.” I wasn’t going to downplay that. I’d look like a moron. “But to me, focusing on seeing us as almost long distance makes the most sense and helps keep it in perspective.”

Ezra was still again but his level of drama eased back a bit more, so I took that as a good sign and kept talking through the situation. “Seeing you and doing things like watching the movie are very satisfying, but I will easily admit giving you pleasure made everything easier for me. Seeing you orgasm and exploring your submission was enough to make me very happy.”

I wasn’t going to promise that would always be enough, but there were amazing workarounds for all kinds of things.

“So right now, treating this as a bit long distance isn’t frustrating and I’m enjoying getting to know you.” Now for the hard part. “Is it enough for you? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

There was only so much I could do if he didn’t want to be with me.

“No. That’s not—” His words cut off midstream as his head popped up and he blinked in and out for a moment. “I mean. Fuck.”

Giving him a second to stop panicking, I mimed taking a deep breath and he obeyed without thinking about it. “Good boy. You’re going to think about what you want to say, but you’re not going to get upset. I’m not going anywhere as long as you want me around.”

I was pretty sure that was the fear running through his head, and I was glad when he took another breath and his anxiety levels eased back again. “You’re doing a great job. Now, tell me one thing you’re thinking about.”

“One thing.” Ezra nodded slowly, his thoughts seeming to slowly come back online. “I like you. Even if I was still alive, I’d like you. I just…I just don’t want to fuck up your life.”

That was understandable…but he was thinking of the situation in a very human-centric way.

“Dating you will not fuck up my life. I’m a homebody. I don’t like traveling. I work. I go to the gym. I go home. I won’t ever have to hide you. Yes. There might be people you don’t meet, but no one will think I’m nuts for dating a ghost.”

There were weirder couples in town, so we’d be boring in comparison.

Blinking slowly made it seem like he was finally starting to process what I was saying. “I can make you come. I can tease you and jerk off in front of you. I can give you rules and fuck with you. Once you can interact with the physical world again, we’ll find something you can do online to keep you occupied and then we’ll have stuff to talk about on dates. Home dates. Picnic dates. Work dates.”

That got a grin from him and he looked around the kitchen, nodding. “Yes. Can’t forget that.”

I had some flexibility with it, but eventually I had to get the house in running order. “No, we can’t. But we’ll have time to fit in dates that are more fun.”

Somehow he blushed and squirmed, glancing down at the table before looking back up at me. “I’ve had fun on our dates so far. I…I liked going on a walk with you and…and the movie and the other things we’ve done.”

The sexy things judging by the way he was squirming.

“I’m glad. I have too.” Understatement of the century right there. “And we’ll figure out more fun things to do and some very mundane hanging-out things to do.”

He grinned, shaking his head a bit. “You make that sound like you need help with your taxes.”

“Well, if you’re handy with them.” Shrugging, I gave him an aww, shucks kind of smile. “I won’t turn down free help with that kind of stuff.”

Rolling his eyes, Ezra sighed. “You went from dating and sexy to old and married really fast.”

Laughing, I nodded. “Hey, I found a guy who can’t leave me and seems to be into the same things I am. In this town, you grab hold real fast and pin them down. Everyone I know who’s gotten married in the last ten years was dating less than six months when they got married.”

Eyes going wide, Ezra looked like he was going to either fall out of his chair or through it. “Would it be rude to ask if that’s a Southern thing?”

“Probably.” Laughing at the way his eyes got even wider, I managed to get myself under control enough to explain. “It’s about the type of people we have in town.”

Technically, we were a fun mix from all over the country who’d settled here right after the Civil War. They’d thought it would be safer for everyone involved, and they had been right, but it also made things very interesting. “For the most part, the different groups and…well…species, for lack of a better word, have ways of telling when they find their mates. Whatever they call them, because that can honestly vary, but they just have ways of knowing. So why wait when you’ve found your perfect partner.”

Sometimes it was more complicated than that and a few groups had the most intricate processes for that shit, but most of the time it boiled down to finding their one and just knowing.

“Oh.” Swallowing hard, Ezra went back to squirming and making the seat squeak. “I didn’t mean to be rude. But…but I grew up in…well…I’m not local.”

That was so obvious I had to focus on keeping a straight face.

“Some things are a cliché for a reason, so we’re not going to worry about it.” I managed not to laugh when his stress flooded out of him like a popped balloon, but it was hard. “And we’re not exactly human normal even for the South.”

We were the same general level of interesting with some extra fun added on.

“Nothing is normal in this town.” Frowning, he gestured toward himself. “I’m dead and dating my handyman.”

It could’ve been worse, but pointing that out didn’t seem helpful.

“I’ve known weirder, but think of it this way. You met a fabulous man with his own business and a slightly kinky sex life.” He wasn’t doing too bad as far as I was concerned. “And I met a man that’s fun to tease and is going to be sexy as hell when I finally get to spank him.”

Ezra’s immediate pout tested my ability to keep my sense of humor in check. “I can’t even turn on the radio unless I’m turned on.”

“Then spanking you is going to be a breeze.” Because he was going to love it. Every squirm and blush made that abundantly clear. “And really, all you have to do is glare at me to turn me on, so I’m going to be a lot easier to handle than the button on the radio.”

Yep.

“See? It works already.” His glare was adorable and the way he puffed up when he got huffy made it even cuter. “We’re going to be fine.”

And I could say that confidently because he hadn’t even mentioned the biggest problem. What were we going to do when the house finally got rented?