Page 13 of The Handyman and The Drama Queen (Myths, Legends, and Southern Charm #1)

Stone

“You what?”

Stephanie was smart enough to look guilty for about five seconds before she grinned and bounced closer to the door of the truck. “He’s really cute.”

Gods above and below.

“Okay, try it again.” Because I was supposed to be grabbing takeout and heading over to eat dinner with Ezra. It’d been a long week of people breaking stupid shit and I was ready to hang out with my boy. “I’m sure I misunderstood something.”

“Um, well, Mom asked if I wanted to drive over to Target.” The guilt was starting to come back as she shifted side to side. “I should’ve realized something was up when she volunteered to drive.”

Yep.

Mom hated driving and loved being chauffeured around.

“Then?” How had a Target run ended up with them at Ezra’s place? “I think I’m missing something here.”

A lot. I was missing a lot.

“She…well…she drove to your boyfriend’s house and wanted to introduce herself.” Stephanie finally winced but I was pretty sure it was a reaction to my expression and not to helping Mom make me insane. “She was…she was really herself and it overwhelmed your boyfriend. He refused to come out when she tried letting herself in.”

What?

“Good job making sure all the doors were locked.” She gave me a proud sister smile and patted my arm that was resting on the open window. “That’s the only thing that kept her out.”

I’d locked the door?

Had I ever used the back door?

“She actually tried to go in?” That was ridiculous. “She tried to let herself in?”

Nodding, Stephanie winced again. “She was in fine form. Did I mention that?”

Several times.

“So how do you know that Ezra is cute?” He was, but how did she know that?

And she was back to grinning. “He poked his head out the front door when Mom went around to try the back door. He said hi and introduced himself. Because Mom admitted just a bit too loudly that she didn’t know his name. She’d only heard who your new boyfriend was and charged off to meet him.”

Which was the reason I hadn’t shared anything with her yet.

“Who the fuck told her?” As I tried to mentally list off anyone I could’ve told, her answer surprised me.

“She heard it over at the coffee shop.” Stephanie shrugged. “Everyone was talking about it but they weren’t sure which house he was in.”

For fuck’s sake.

“How did they hear about him?” I hadn’t been in there in days, much less talked about Ezra. It might’ve sounded like I was hiding him, but he needed some time to process everything. Which was why I hadn’t wanted my mother to charge over. “What else did she say? There’s a lot of stuff he’s not ready to talk about yet. He hasn’t been dead that long and he was human.”

Human enough to be shocked at the idea of shifters and magic.

And human enough to be curious about them too.

Head cocking, she frowned. “Like what? It’s Mom you’re talking about.”

What was I thinking?

“I’m giving him time before we talk about the relatives and all the fun stuff in the family tree. He’s good with it, but he’s got a lot to process. Newly dead, remember?” Sure, I teased him about it all the time, but they were morons. “It’s what he wanted.”

Yep…it seemed like neither of them remembered that tiny little fact because Stephanie shrugged.

“Well, the good thing is that she didn’t gossip or complain about anything like that. The bad thing is I think he’s slightly traumatized and probably worried that he offended her?” Stephanie clearly wasn’t sure why because we offended my mother on a regular basis. “He seems like the type that wants to make a good impression on your family and we didn’t help that situation.”

No, they hadn’t.

“He seems funny, though.” Beaming again, she gave me a head pat that time. “I can see why you like him. He’s an awkward cutie and he said I could come over to hang out as long as I didn’t bring Mom with me.”

Great.

“Do not bring Mom or anyone else to his house.” I shouldn’t have had to say that, but it felt like making the point again would be a smart idea. “Bring a blanket to sit on the porch—it’s got splinters the size of redwoods—and talk to him about the yard. He wants some new trees. You can tell him all the gossip you’ve heard lately. Get him up to speed on that kind of stuff. But don’t interrogate him.”

Before I could make my point again, she held up her hands. “He’s newly dead. I haven’t forgotten in the last thirty seconds.”

Fine.

“He was also human when he was alive, so all of this is new to him.” That seemed to finally hit her and she nodded slowly. “He’s asked to be eased into things. Respect that limit or I’ll tell everyone at the post office that you’ve been sad you haven’t been asked out lately.”

She must’ve realized I was serious because her eyes went wide. “That’s…you can’t…”

“I can.” And I would. “Now, I’m going to go get my tacos and then I’m going to go hang out with my boyfriend.”

Her wince made me sigh. “Um, there’s no taco truck anymore. They changed it to a meatball truck.”

What the fuck.

“No.” I’d just gotten used to the taco truck. “Already?”

Glaring at me, Stephanie didn’t appreciate my frustration but she didn’t call me out on it. “Yep. This has to be better than the time they tried to do seafood.”

Ugh.

Just remembering that was going to give me food poisoning again.

“Fine. I’ll count my blessings.” And maybe start bringing more stuff to cook over to Ezra’s place. “See ya later.”

She should’ve looked more guilty about driving me crazy and helping Mom hunt down Ezra, but she just bounced back over to the gas station where she’d flagged me down to begin with. Of course, she was already being a pain in the ass as I drove away, but that wasn’t my problem. “Nobody else needed the pump. You keep complaining and I’ll tell Missy that you were gonna practice a new spell tonight.”

The whole town only functioned because of threats and drama.

Meatballs.

For fuck’s sake…it was just overpriced spaghetti and meatballs.

I still hadn’t recovered from it by the time I pulled into Ezra’s place and had decided I was going to be dramatic about it. “Meatballs. Those fuckers changed the taco truck to meatballs. Don’t ask how much I just paid for spaghetti and one big meatball.”

Ezra stood on the porch, cocking his head and getting angry too. “Fuckers. Weren’t tacos good enough for them?”

Best boyfriend, partner, sub, future fiancé ever.

“No. I heard them whispering and giggling about the markup as I walked up to the stupid food truck. I’m not even sure what meat this is any longer.” How were meatballs cheaper than taco meat? I wasn’t sure what that’d been to begin with and the meatballs were somehow cheaper?

“Not beef, that’s for sure.” He glared at the food as I opened the takeout box to show him. “That’s huge, but yeah, there’s no way that’s cheaper than tacos.”

“I know.” We were both glaring at the perfectly round meatball. “Does that look like a natural shape to you?”

“Oh.” Frowning, Ezra cocked his head and moved around to look at it from several angles. “Well, if it’s made in a factory, then the perfect shape makes sense.”

“They said it’s homemade.” Fuckers. “Does that look homemade to you?”

I wasn’t surprised when he shook his head. “No, but what…what kind of person made it? I don’t know how to ask that without sounding rude or speciesist or something. But could it be magic? Is that considered homemade?”

“Fuckers.” I wasn’t eating magic meatballs. “Okay, I saw them get the pasta out of a pot and I’m pretty sure I saw jars of sauce in the back too. So I’m going to eat the noodles. They should be safe.”

“Hopefully.” Finally looking up at me, he sighed. “If not, I’ll tell your family why you dropped dead when they stop by again.”

“Thanks.” I air-kissed right beside his cheek. “But there’s a flaw in your logic.”

He was so cute when he glared at me. The way he straightened and crossed his arms over his chest didn’t help. “They invaded and my logic is impeccable. I was being nice.”

He made that sound like something gross, but I was having a hard time not smiling. “If I died by tainted meatball, I’d end up a ghost here with you. So I’d tell them and then they could go demand justice and find another calling in life besides driving me crazy.”

The adorable glare stayed in place for a few more seconds. “I don’t know if that was cute or stupid.”

Both.

“Cute.” I grinned as he rolled his eyes. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I seem to be stuck with your family too.” Something about that struck a nerve because my drama queen started pacing back and forth on the porch, throwing his arms up. “They just showed up and your mother didn’t even get enough good gossip to know my name before she came. She half-assed my gossip, Stone.”

Was he upset that she hadn’t put more effort into stalking him first or that she’d shown up to be nosy?

“I’m worth getting it right. She didn’t even call me your boyfriend. She said partner. I’m a boyfriend and then we can renegotiate that at the thirty-day mark. She’s jumping the gun.” Ezra looked offended, and his glare got fiery. “She was probably going to tell me what you are. That’s not acceptable. I have limits.”

He had some kind of light bulb moment and stopped mid-stride. “I found a limit, so you have to be proud of me. She needs to back off because it was too much. I get to adjust to being dead at my own pace and she doesn’t get to declare me family yet.”

Since he wasn’t wrong on any of it, I nodded slowly. “I’m proud of you for finding a limit and articulating it. I even agree with it. She’s pushy and a pain in the ass.”

“I knew you’d be proud of me.” His tone was still so frustrated I almost missed the fact that he knew I’d be pleased with his new limit.

He was so cute.

“But you need to make sure she knows you’re not hiding me.” And he was back to being offended and angry. “She told your sister that you were isolating me and it sounded like you were ashamed of me. You’re not and she needs to understand that. I’m special to you and you protect important shit. I’m not ready to people this much, Stone.”

Understatement of the year.

Had he ever been ready to people?

“You are incredibly special, and you’re right, protecting important shit is not hiding it.” Telling him how adorable he was and how sexy would not have helped the situation, but I did my best to adjust my hard-on when he started pacing again. “I don’t have to tell half the town who I’m dating to prove anything. You like your peace and quiet.”

“I do.” His pacing picked up speed and I wasn’t sure if he was actually touching the porch any longer or if he was floating. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I need fucking peace and quiet to practice touching shit. I can’t do that with people around.”

Probably because it still involved imagining me playing with his dick and talking dirty to him.

“I should’ve been able to brag about turning on the radio consistently, but now I have to tell you that I locked the front door to keep your mother out and I’m not sure that’s something I get to brag about or if I have to apologize.” For some reason that stopped him in his tracks again and he frowned at me like it was all my fault. “I’m exhausted and I don’t know how that is. I don’t even know if I can take a nap. I don’t sleep. I didn’t think ghosts did that but now I’m tired.”

And slightly crazy.

He was so fucking sexy.

“Stop thinking dirty thoughts when I’m angry.” Waving at me, Ezra got even more worked up. “You’re hard. Again. And you need looser pants. Not everyone needs to see your erection. I haven’t even gotten to see your erection and you’re just waving it around town.”

I was going to have to pick a different story when people asked when I fell in love with him…but this was definitely the moment.

“Don’t tell me what you’re thinking.” As his pacing started again, he shook his head and began grumbling about me making his life difficult and something about me being an exhibitionist.

I’d have to think about that one but I was hoping I could talk him down about it. “You’re the only reason I get hard, baby. No one else gets to see anything.”

I wasn’t hung like a porn star, so the whole bulge thing had never been an issue.

“Of course they’re seeing things. You’re sexy. Your dick is going to be perfect. Everyone is staring at your groin. You just haven’t noticed.” His muttering was too low and grumbly for me to understand what he was saying after that, but I was pretty sure it was derogatory comments about my intelligence…because I was so sexy I was stupid?

He really said the sweetest things, but it was too bad I couldn’t spank him for it yet.

“I’m proud of you for figuring out how to lock the door.” That really was amazing considering where he was at. “It shouldn’t have been necessary—I’ll do better going forward—but I really am proud of you.”

The last time anyone had broken into a house was because of a prank that’d gone wrong…some people just weren’t that bright…but I hadn’t thought about my mother invading.

I should have.

“In my defense, you’re so distracting I can’t think of anything else.” His frustrated huff and the way he rolled his eyes made me want to smile. “You’re the best boyfriend I could have asked for…even if I can’t spank you for being so dramatic.”

Ezra sucked in a shaky breath as I stepped closer. “I…I don’t think I was rude but…but I haven’t even thanked you for coming over.”

So that clearly deserved a spanking?

“And you haven’t even given me a kiss or told me how much you missed me.” I shrugged and tried to look sorry for myself. “Didn’t you miss me?”

“I did…you’re…” Inching closer, Ezra leaned in and closed his eyes, focusing hard as his lips actually touched my cheek. “I missed you and I’m glad you came over, Sir.”

Oh, Sir, huh?

“That’s my good boy.” My fairly solid boy. “Sweet words and a kiss. I think that deserves a reward later.”

And I knew exactly what my drama queen wanted.

To see my dick.

Because evidently, I was just waving it around town for everyone else to see and it was his turn.

Adorable…and insane…but that was one of the things I loved best about him…and once it wouldn’t give him a heart attack, I’d tell him.