Page 18 of The Handyman and The Drama Queen (Myths, Legends, and Southern Charm #1)

Ezra

My worrier Dom.

I wasn’t sure if they all came in that model, but he was going to tease himself into an ulcer if I ignored the whole talking it out thing he was trying to push.

He was so dramatic.

“How about we just say we weren’t keeping track and we’ll round up to…let’s say ten minutes?” Casually fucking with him was much more fun than seeing him stew in his worries. “I think that’s fair.”

As he tried not to laugh, he put a grumbly expression on his face. “Fair?”

To be honest, we’d both been racing toward an orgasm before I faded again, so it was actually fair. “Yep.”

Stone’s barely restrained laughter said he knew it too. “Be nice or I’ll start explaining what I did.”

I couldn’t hold back my wince. “Nope. I don’t want to know.”

Laughing, he leaned in and kissed my nose before I lost all the solid stuff he’d loaned me. “Your face.”

“You’re so ridiculous.” On so many levels but I wasn’t going to talk about them. “Alright, time to do that touch base after a scene thing. How are you feeling?” Frowning at him, I pretended to study his face and down his sexy body. “Anything hurt? Do you need water? I can’t get that for you yet.”

The kitchen was way too far away to make that a reasonable goal.

“That’s totally a Dom’s job, so we’ll have to work on an appropriate substitute.” His expression was entirely too serious for how ridiculous that statement was.

“You’re the only one who can dehydrate here or go into shock or even piss, so no, you’re the one who needs water.” Maybe orgasms made him stupid? “I even have dry orgasms.”

Which was actually kind of handy.

That had the drama queen frowning and looking down at my dick. “I need to think about this.”

It was so ridiculous I ignored it. “What about my porn? I was promised dirty movies.”

There were worse things we could be discussing, so suddenly the porn didn’t seem too embarrassing. “I think you’re fucking with me about that.”

“Fine.” Stone rolled over, flopping around like a dying fish. “If I get the water and aftercare, then you’re supposed to take care of me and be nice. That’s part of it.”

“Bullshit.” Orgasms made him stupid. “I did not sign up for that and you know it.”

Me being nice?

No.

I could, however, nag.

“Don’t forget your water. And clean up or you’ll feel gross.” Shit. “Do I look gross?”

Goddammit.

“How the fuck did I get clothes on?”

Being dead was so fucking frustrating sometimes.

“At least it’s not Garfield.” Stone laughed when it was my turn to flop over like a fish. “And at least you’re not going to be wearing my cum for days?”

Was that how long it would take before we could do the whole recharge my battery thing?

I wasn’t dating the Messiah or something, so no bringing Ezra back from the dead, but at some point I was going to have to figure out how it worked.

Later.

At some point later.

“That is too horrific to even think about.” He was a fucking nightmare sometimes. “And don’t even put that out into the universe when I can’t seem to control it. I could end up wearing a cum-covered shirt when your sister comes over.”

God.

I closed my eyes when he started to laugh.

“Stop giggling and tell me what I’m wearing now.” If he’d jinxed me, I was going to find a way to SpaghettiOs him too. “Stop laughing.”

Ugh.

Dead and tortured with a Dom that had an insane sense of humor.

He did not stop laughing.

He snickered while he got cleaned up.

He chuckled while he put his clothes on.

He damned near cackled as he sat down on the bed and set up his laptop.

It wasn’t until he had to think about what he wanted to play that he got serious. “Something fun but something educational.”

I wasn’t even going to begin to make him explain how it would be educational. The lecture would probably kill me a second time.

“Not too fantasy and not too dark.” Looking more and more serious as he started to type and scroll, I did my best not to hover over every keystroke. I missed being able to play online a lot more than I did more canned pasta. “A playful spanking where the sub gets to come.”

From being spanked.

I kept going back and forth about the logic of it and then trying to remember there didn’t seem to be any logic to it, but the whole thing was confusing to process. Being curious wasn’t good or bad in any way and was neutral in every sense.

But the idea of it turned curiosity into something wicked.

It was definitely Stone’s fault.

“I want you to see how I think it would be between us, not just a crazy fantasy.” Brows pulled tight, he frowned at the screen like he was fixing the electrical plugs again. “Enough fantasy so it doesn’t feel like a documentary, though.”

He had to be overthinking it, right?

“So you’re not just supposed to randomly click on videos until something doesn’t seem too weird to turn you on?”

No.

The look on his face…something close to horror…said that was not how people were supposed to search for porn.

I’d clearly been doing it wrong and held up my hands. “Kidding. Just kidding.”

“Randomly? Like…like rolling the dice?” Stone’s head cocked as he turned his still frowning face to study me. “Randomly?”

How had I fallen in love with a man who was my exact opposite in every way?

“Kiss.” Trying to distract him since utter shock probably wasn’t going to turn him on again, I brushed my lips next to his cheek. “Where should we start?”

Stone blinked a few times before he seemed to force himself to look back at the screen. “Yes. We’ll start.”

Nothing else I’d done had gotten anywhere near stunned silence but randomly clicking on porn killed a chunk of his brain cells.

I was never going to understand Doms.

Or whatever else he was.

****

“You can do this. No snark. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t overshare. Don’t let her overshare.” God. Fuck. “New plan. Don’t let her overshare. Don’t talk about my sex life.”

I wasn’t sure how it would come up but Stone managed to talk about the craziest shit and the whole town was one big gossip nightmare.

“It will definitely come up.”

Shit.

That was her car.

“You can do this. You have a plan. You’re not going to be embarrassed by your current limits.” Nothing Stone had said about her made it sound like she’d make fun of someone for the issues they couldn’t control, so I was going to treat it like that. “You’re doing great for not having been dead that long.”

I kept reminding myself of it as the sporty red number that looked incredibly out of place in rural Louisiana pulled in the driveway and parked in the right spot this time. “At least she has manners.”

That was a good start.

“You’re going to be confident and relaxed. You already know she doesn’t hate you. She knows Stone is serious about me.” As I tried to come up with something else positive to say, she climbed out of the car and started bouncing toward the front porch holding what looked to be a fluffy red blanket.

I wasn’t sure five more minutes would’ve helped, but part of me wished there was more time for me to get my nerves under control. I wasn’t good with people at the best of times and it only got worse when I was worked up.

My first introduction to Stone was a good example of that.

Shit. Had he told them about that?

I really should’ve asked more questions before I’d agreed to hang out with anyone in Stone’s family.

“Ezra!” Stephanie’s excited tone made it sound like she was actually looking forward to talking to me.

It was kind of weird but probably not unexpected since she was related to Stone.

The whole family was all weird.

“ Coming .” Stone had made sure to keep the door locked just in case, but I didn’t want her to think I was hiding from her even though I was. “You can do this.”

Hoping I looked relaxed and not constipated, I poked my head through the door. “I’m in pajamas. Stone said that would be fine with you but I didn’t want you to think I was being a dick or something.”

She was definitely related to Stone because she barely restrained her laughter, but it didn’t feel malicious, another sign she was related. “That’s fine. One of the ghosts that resides near the town center died in just underwear. He was so flustered, we had to put a guise on the whole area so that everyone would see him in clothes even if they weren’t actually on him.”

Learning more about the town wasn’t helping it to sound any less insane.

“Thankfully, I was not that unfortunate.” Knowing it could’ve been worse probably shouldn’t have made me feel better but it did. “I died in ugly pajamas. I’ve managed to change between other clothes I actually owned in life, which Stone says is a good start, but I’m not doing great at putting real clothes on.”

Which Stone seemed to think was my own mental block because I’d spent most of my time in pajamas when I’d been alive.

So I’d fucked myself over.

“It’s fine.” She shrugged as she laid out the blanket she’d brought with her. “I’m ninety percent lesbian, so even if you end up without the pajamas, it won’t bother me.”

How did someone end up being ninety percent lesbian?

Nope.

Not my business.

Ignoring it other than a nod, I stepped all the way through the door. “I will do my best not to let that become an issue.”

With as much trouble as I had taking off my clothes, doing it accidentally wasn’t something I was too worried about.

“It’s good to see you again.” And good to see that I was still in clean, not stupid-looking clothes as I sat down on the top step.

Now what?

My not knowing what to do didn’t stop her…which shouldn’t have been a surprise either.

“Stone’s been good at keeping what you two talk about private.” That didn’t seem to upset her based on her easy tone, but I wasn’t sure what she would say next. “So if I ask a question that’s private or if we start talking about something that makes you nervous, you need to let me know.”

God.

She was weird too.

Limits.

She was talking about limits.

“Like whatever just went through your head.” Smirking, she looked a lot like Stone. “I’m not going to ask because it feels like it was private. And snarky.”

Was she psychic or was I just really bad at controlling my expression?

Both…because that was just how my life was going lately.

“Thank you.” My dry response had her barely holding back a giggle and I couldn’t help gesturing at her. “Stone has a problem with laughing at odd times too. Must be a family trait.”

And it escaped.

When she got herself under control, still grinning ear to ear, she shook her head like I was a cute puppy. “Yep, I can see why he likes you.”

Well, that was one of us.

My only guess was that he was some kind of masochist Dom brat and the combination had clearly damaged him in ways I couldn’t imagine.

Luckily for me?

Yeah, I was a dick.

“Okay, Stone is the master of dropping random bits of information and then jumping to a new topic.” Rolling my eyes probably wasn’t the politest response but it got another laugh out of her. “So do you want clarification on family stuff like our family tree, the gossip going on around town, or can I ask you how the hell you ended up here?”

Were we hanging out or was I interviewing for a job?

“The gossip around town.” We’d start there and see at what point she started driving me insane. People always did, human or whatever the fuck they were.