Page 26 of The Handyman and The Drama Queen (Myths, Legends, and Southern Charm #1)

Ezra

Fucking hell.

Handfasted and solid and meeting the goddamned assembly in my fucking pajamas…and without being asked.

Stone looked confused enough that I wasn’t sure if he was going to make things better or worse, and he didn’t give me any clue when he waved his hand toward Stephanie and sighed. “Five minutes, please? I could try but we both know I haven’t done it in years.”

She nodded but her expression said she thought he was being ridiculous. “You’d end up turning both of you into frogs or something that’d get barbecued.”

Huh?

Could I end up being a ghost frog?

Before I could figure out how to word that without sounding insane, Stone stepped closer and wrapped me in his arms, tucking my head against his neck. “Just relax for me. We’re going to get some privacy.”

Magical privacy, evidently.

Fucking hell.

Obeying, I took a deep breath and focused on the feeling of Stone wrapped around me instead of Stephanie mumbling something. For a few seconds everything was normal but then it grew heavier and it was almost like my ears wanted to pop.

But I didn’t have ears.

Stone shifted and kissed my head before I could work out the ear situation. “That always feels weird.”

Well, at least it wasn’t just me?

Easing back as he relaxed his hold, the first thing I noticed was that everything around us looked foggy. “I’m going to have a what the fuck moment later. Just to let you know.”

“You’re going to have a lot of those later and I’m going to answer every question and respond appropriately to every threat.” Stone was trying to be smart, kissing me as he took me seriously. “You are the most patient man I’ve ever met.”

He was an idiot.

Playing ostrich did not make me amazing…it made me ridiculous.

“Don’t be sweet.” The order wasn’t logical at all…even I knew that…but he simply smiled like it’d been the most romantic thing he’d ever heard. “You’ve lost your mind.”

Stone shrugged, stroking one hand over my head and wrapping his other around my waist. “I lost my mind the first time I saw you storm out of the house. It was like the world tilted and I knew nothing would ever be the same.”

Fucking hell.

He was being romantic.

“This is fucking cheating.” It didn’t alter how sweet it was. “I’m still very frustrated, Stone.”

His smile was going to be my undoing.

“And it’s so sexy, baby.” He kissed me again, barely brushing his lips against mine. “But you’re not going to distract me.”

Yeah, because it was my attitude’s fault we always ended up in bed.

“Nothing is going to distract me from all the questions I’ve got. My thirty days is right around the corner. I’ve got a great start on them even with the whole can’t take notes shit.”

That was definitely his fault.

He had the grace to look slightly sheepish on that part. “I keep meaning to make sure you get the time to do that. I even have a notebook in my car. I ordered it online. It says Drama Queens Do It Better.”

Rolling my eyes was the only appropriate response to that nonsense.

“We don’t have a plan to live together. We don’t know who my house legally belongs to. We don’t know if I’m going to get roommates next week. We don’t know how I’m going to spend all my time. I might get insane after a few years of being stuck on the property. We don’t know how it’s going to feel for you to get older and me to look like a grunged-out teenager for your whole life.”

Okay, maybe not that young, but he understood the point.

He even tried to respond but I was still on a roll.

“We don’t know if we’ll have major conflicts over whatever religion you are and the fact that I like Christmas. It’s the only fucking holiday I like.” The rest were either stupid or too labor intensive for the payout. “What if you hate that? I don’t even know if you have food you shouldn’t be eating.”

I was pretty sure his mother would’ve said something, but then again she hadn’t mentioned my whole wedding. So I couldn’t count on her to give me important information like that his religion didn’t eat beef or pork or whatever the fuck pepperoni was made of.

“A lot of religions do that. What holidays do you fucking celebrate? We haven’t even figured out if we’re game compatible because every time I get solid enough to do something like that we get naked.” I wasn’t too worked up about that but it needed to be on the list.

“What if my roommates don’t like you living here too? I can’t exactly move.” There needed to be some kind of cosmic workaround for that. “I don’t even know what you are. You can’t be a vampire because of the whole you’re in daylight thing but there are a lot of other options.”

“You said as long as I wasn’t Bigfoot it was fine.” Doing his best to frown at me, he couldn’t quite manage a good glare. “Have you changed your mind on that?”

Stone always had to be a smart-ass.

“Are you a fucking Bigfoot?” For fuck’s sake. “Do you shave?”

Had I missed something that big?

Stone groaned, burying his face against my neck. “Don’t make me laugh. I’m trying to be serious and romantic.”

He was so dramatic.

“I have questions, Stone.” Ones that laughter or naked times wouldn’t answer.

“Can I ask you one question?” His hiding turned to nuzzling, which turned to kissing.

My sigh got a quiet giggle from him but I ignored it and nodded. “Yes.”

“Do you love me?” He straightened, looking deep into my eyes as he waited for the answer he’d already known I’d give him.

“Yes.” But that wasn’t enough to push us to get married. “But you—”

Cutting me off with a shake of his head, Stone kissed my nose. “But I love you and I have from the moment you charged at me with that spark and all that passion.”

He had the craziest way of describing me.

“I’d have married you right then and happily spent the next year getting to know you, but being patient and taking things slowly has been fun too.” He honestly seemed to think we hadn’t rushed into our relationship, so I wasn’t sure how to argue with that.

Insanity wasn’t something I could logic against.

“I love hearing all your opinions and your worries and all the questions you have about my day.” Kissing each cheek, he smiled like he was reliving his favorite memories. “I love how patient you’ve been with my family and how curious you are about everyone in town. I love that you haven’t judged them for being different and that you’ve been incredible as you’ve figured out how to enjoy your new life.”

We needed a different word than life.

He was so distracting.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I carefully rested my head on his shoulder, hating that I was already going ghostly again. “There’s so much we don’t know yet.”

“Very practical things.” Stone made a quiet, thoughtful sound and then eased some of his will into me. “But I know we’ll get it all figured out. At the very least, I’ll get an RV and park it in the driveway. Then we’ll have privacy and a home together and a place that I can cook without killing myself.”

That wasn’t a bad idea…but it brought up more questions.

“What about the whole you being alive thing?” I’d already mentioned the growing old thing, so I left it unsaid that time.

“My being alive is helpful, so I’m not going to ghost myself anytime soon, but there are ways to make sure I can be with you for always.” Stroking his thumb over my cheek as I stopped hiding and straightened, Stone gave me a tender smile. “You’re my eternity, baby. I’m not human. I know we’ve been talking around that, but I need to make sure that’s really hit for you.”

Mostly it had…kind of.

“You…you won’t have to die and leave me? You won’t have to get tired of me looking like this your whole life?” I didn’t necessarily want to grow old but it might get weird eventually.

“I will never get tired of anything about you.” Giving me another soft peck, he hugged me tighter against him and gently ran his finger around my ear. “Your feistiness. Your passion. Your sexy body.”

Ignoring how crazy he was seemed like the best idea at the moment…especially when it brought up a potentially big problem.

“Um, what happens if I get a body and then what made me a ghost…well…that regret thing is solved?” Even in our little privacy fog I could feel my face heating up. “That was going to be part of my thirty-day discussion too.”

To his credit, Stone didn’t laugh but his eyes lit up. “Once you’re a ghost, only you can decide if that regret is…handled…satisfied. So you would have to make a conscious decision to cross over at that point. The universe thrives off free will.”

Really?

“So…so nothing will happen automatically if you…if you accidentally fix my regret?” Something sparked in his eyes, knowledge, but he didn’t react except to shake his head and keep his expression neutral.

“No. Nothing will happen without your consent and your desire.” Giving me another kiss, he smiled softly as he stroked his hand over my head again, sending shivers through me. “And I promise not to make choices about my own mortality without discussing it with you.”

God.

“I’m pretty sure I asked if you were a vampire and we ruled that out.” Several times. “God. What are you?”

I probably needed to know that before we got married.

Stone chuckled. “A mutt.”

I didn’t hit him…that wouldn’t have been nice at all…but I gave him an enthusiastic pat on the arm. “For fuck’s sake, Stone.”

He laughed.

He didn’t take his own safety seriously enough.

“Gods above, I love you.” He looked like a kid at Christmas who’d been given every present they could’ve asked for. “I literally am a mutt. My family tree is highly mixed. I have great stories to tell you, but the biggest piece to understand is that some of my more distant relatives were technically immortal.”

For fuck’s sake.

Okay.

I’d seen sci-fi movies.

“So technically they didn’t age, say, once they got to adulthood, but they could be killed?” That earned me a bright smile and he seemed to think I was a genius. “That makes sense.”

Maybe?

It did in TV logic, so I was going with it.

“What else do I need to know?” There was something because that was a fucking random bit of trivia to drop on me.

Stone wanted to laugh but he kept it under control for the moment. “It means the same genes are there in me but dormant unless I choose to let magic change that. The main ancestries that come through most dominantly in me have human lifespans. I never had a reason to want to live forever. It sounded boring and weird just randomly doing it.”

Huh.

“It wouldn’t have been my top choice of shit to inherit either. Sounds like it could get lonely.” And Stone had a very human mindset on a lot of things, so I couldn’t see him pushing for it on his own. “But you…you’d be able to decide when to…to cross over?”

It’d suck for him to get stuck like that and end up on Earth forever.

Death by supernova in a billion years? No thanks.

“Yes.” He looked confident enough that I didn’t question it. “We’d decide when we were done and then we’d move on together.”

God.

“You know you make me have the craziest conversations, right?” SpaghettiOs weren’t supposed to change anyone’s life but they had mine.

“I make life interesting.” Wearing a cheeky grin, he leaned in and kissed my forehead. “And you make my life shine, baby.”

He’d lost his marbles…but I kind of liked that in a mutt.

I had every intention of explaining that to him, but he got this strange look on his face and stepped back. His expression was a mix of serious and excited, but I had to admit to being stupid until he lowered himself slowly to one knee, taking my hands loosely.

Fuck.

“My boy, boyfriend, friend, and lover. There isn’t anyone else I want to spend the rest of my life and beyond with except you. And nothing will ever change that. My loving, feisty partner and submissive, will you join your eternity with mine?”

Wow.

When he did romance, he did it right.