Page 8 of The Christmas Express

Ember

Shitting shit shit shit. As soon as my eyes connect with Bryn’s friend, Cali, I curse myself for not having the discipline to just keep my head down. Maybe some part of me wanted her to see me. Wanted her to acknowledge that, yes, I am still here in the world, even after all of them cut me out.

‘Hi,’ she says first.

‘Hi,’ I reply, my mouth dry.

‘Wow, I nearly didn’t recognise you!’

‘Yeah.’ God, this is so awkward. I swallow. ‘You... having a good flight?’

‘The best!’ she enthuses. She looks much the same as she used to – long hair in natural curls, warm smile, casual but neat style. I must look a total mess. Which is just one of the reasons I hadn’t wanted her to spot me sitting here.

‘Well, I’d better get back to my seat. Enjoy the movie! See you in a bit!’

Cali scuttles off down the aisle like she’s walking on hot dropped peanuts and I sit back and close my eyes. My heart is thumping. My lips are parched. My mind is zooming about.

Hours earlier, it was Cali I first spotted at the airport gate.

She joined the queue to get on the plane a few people behind me.

Goosebumps flooded my skin like a rash, and I forgot to breathe for a moment.

I’d thought that flying out a week before the wedding meant I’d arrive before any of Bryn’s wedding guests.

I’d get to see her all on my own. But here was her best friend, who must be taking the same connecting flight as I am, otherwise that’s a huge coincidence.

And as I found my seat on the plane, I realised the rest of them were on board too.

Not sat together, which is weird considering they’re all such ram-it-down-your-throat best friends, but all there.

I kept my head down, my baseball cap on, and found my seat as quickly as I could, which luckily is near the back of the plane, and I don’t think any of them saw me.

Could it have been possible to avoid them across two flights, another gate, passport control and baggage claim?

Once we hit Vancouver it wouldn’t have mattered, because by then it would be too late for any of them to try and talk me out of going, or to alert Bryn.

Not that I wanted to ambush my ex, but I wanted to see her without any outside opinions.

Just me and her. We’d always been level with each other and if Bryn was calling out for me like I think she might have been, it’s between me and her.

Focus on the movie. This is one of my favourites. Focus... focus... focus...

‘You okay, love?’ asks the man beside me, pausing the game he’s playing on his seat-back TV. ‘Do you want to sit with your friend?’

‘No! No, thank you. She’s... we’re... I’m fine.’

He raises his brows at me but I’m not about to start spilling my life story to a stranger, especially not when Cali could, technically, be in earshot.

She’s fidgeting, getting her phone out. A coldness rushes over me – what if she’s bought Wi-Fi access? What if she’s messaging Bryn right now and telling her I’m on the plane? No. She doesn’t even know I’m going to the wedding yet; perhaps I’m just a girl, heading to Toronto.

Perhaps I should just head to Toronto. I wish I could call Tonia right now. She’d know how to handle this.

I can’t concentrate on this film any more, my attention is zipping around the cabin, a paranoid worry that they’re all talking about me. Especially when Cali stands up again, and without looking back to me, races off towards Luke.