Page 44 of The Christmas Express

Sara

You have to laugh. This group can swing from love to hate to love again quicker than you could shake a candy cane at.

But I am strangely fond of the weirdos. We had some good times, even when I felt like a bit of an outsider, even when it seemed I was the only replaceable one in the house.

Was that really their fault, or my own insecurities because they weren’t my forever people, just my people for that time in my life?

It’s this fondness that makes me walk away from Joe and his wild dancing and cross the carriage to his sister, who for once doesn’t look like thunder but like rain. Her face is washed with sadness, her eyes downcast, her shoulders slumped.

I put my arm around her shoulders, and she leans into me.

‘He’s only a guy, you know,’ I joke, my voice light.

‘A stupid guy who’s never looked at me like he looks at her.’

‘Good. Because that means you now get to find the one who does.’

‘I don’t think there is a “one”,’ she grumbles.

‘Maybe not,’ I agree. ‘But love comes in all sorts of forms.’ I dig my phone from my pocket and hold the screen up for her. ‘Joss, meet Dina.’

‘Who’s this?’ Joss asks, her eyebrows rising as she takes my phone.

I hesitate. ‘My daughter.’

Surprise coats her from head to toe and she blinks at me, shaking her head. ‘You have a daughter?’

I nod. ‘She’s a little sweetheart.’

‘Sara...’ Joss looks back at my phone, holding it tenderly in her hand, and keeps tapping the screen so the wallpaper photo of Dina stays bright and lit. ‘Congratulations. She’s amazing. She’s you. Why didn’t you tell us?’

‘I was scared of being too open with you all about the things that are most important to me, in case it all went away again. But I think we’ve all grown a bit, right? We can be friends without being in each other’s faces every day?’

Joss gazes back down at my phone, and I watch my friend, her face soft with love for this little person she doesn’t even know. ‘Can we meet her, though, one day? When you’re ready?’

My heart glitters. ‘I’d like that. Maybe you should come and visit me once this whole trip is out of the way?’

A smile crosses Joss’s face. ‘You’d let me?’

‘Of course. Besides, I like to try my hand at new business ideas and I’d love some input from someone who has some experience.’

Joss scoffs. ‘You don’t want to talk to me then.’

‘Yes, I do. You have experience. I can learn what not to do,’ I joke.