Page 24 of The Christmas Express

Joss

It’s so fucking pretty in Winnipeg. I’m furious about it. Here I am trying to make my point, not let my guard down, even taking a silent lesson from Sara on looking unbothered by everything around me, and then this place shows up looking like a winter wonderland and trying to jingle my bells.

And Ember is being nice which isn’t helping me at all. I thought she was going to be the villain here, but now they’re all making it seem like I am. I never did anything to them.

I bend my knees a little more and skate faster, leaving Luke and Ember behind me, further back on the stupid, beautiful snowy trail. I’m a good skater, I don’t need them.

The path divides, two pale streaks glowing in the dark under the string lights and I hesitate, digging my toe into the ice to keep me steady. Maybe I’ll wait for them after all.

I look behind me and sigh. There he is, Luke, eyes on the ground, thoughts elsewhere. One guess as to where.

‘Hurry up,’ I huff as they reach me.

Luke glances at me, catching my eye but barely seeing me and almost as if I’m transparent his eyes move past me and back to the path to our right. To the path the others went down.

Of course they all came here as well. This telepathic neediness we all had back in the day to be in close proximity hasn’t gone away, even though some of us would like it to have.

Of course I noticed that he helped her put her boots on. Of course she let him.

Vomitttttt.

I roll my eyes so hard I think they might freeze in that position, and with a toe-kick to the ice, I take off again.

We skate in silence for a while and I do my best to ignore the happy smiles of the other visitors, the cheery music, the pools of calming lights along the trails, the twinkling tunnels, the cinnamon-and-pine scents in the air, the thrill that beats in my heart when I skate fast, the flutter when I catch Luke’s hand and hold him steady when he stumbles and he gives me a relieved smile.

Coming to a stop, and with pink cheeks, Luke checks the time on his phone. ‘I’m done. I’m going to head back to the train,’ he pants.

‘Already?’ Ember asks.

‘Yeah.’ He nods. ‘Catch you both later.’

And just like that, he’s skating away, and I’m hollowed out.

Ember and I lock eyes. For crying out loud. ‘Maybe I’ll head back too,’ I say, but don’t move.

‘Do whatever you want to do,’ she says. She seems wary of me, but not intimidated. Commendable, given the hard time I’ve given her.

‘I don’t know if the two villains should be left alone together.’ I’m half joking.

Her eyebrows raise and she laughs. ‘I don’t know. Sounds like it could be fun?’

A smile twitches the corner of my mouth. Dammit. ‘This doesn’t make us friends again though,’ I caution.

Ember rolls her eyes at me. ‘Oh no, I’m heartbroken. The whole reason I came out here was to make friends with you again.’

‘ So funny,’ I sarc her back. ‘But you know you will be heartbroken if you go all the way to Vancouver. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

‘I’ve heard you loud and clear,’ she replies. ‘The whole damn train probably has by now.’

We take off in a slow glide, in sync without meaning to, the skates slicing underfoot like soft scratches. I peer at Ember from the corner of my eye, but I stop myself from preaching again.

‘So. Luke and Cali finally hooked up, then.’

‘What? When?’ I ask, rounding a corner and accidentally (as if) spraying her shin with shaved ice.

‘Back in the day. You’re the one that brought it up at lunch yesterday.’

‘Oh.’ I thought she’d meant again, on this trip, for a moment. ‘Yep. Finally.’

‘What happened? Like, why aren’t they together now?’

‘I really don’t want to talk about Luke and Cali,’ I snap. ‘With you, I mean. Here, I mean. Can’t we just enjoy the scenery?’

Ember frowns at me and shrugs. ‘Say no more.’

‘It’s just...’ I stop again, my hands slamming onto my hips. ‘He’s gone back to the train now; do we have to talk about him? He’s not the centre of the universe.’

‘Totally fine.’

I blow out a plume of grumpy air. ‘Why’s it so cold here, anyway?’

Ember flings her arms wide, gesturing at the snow surrounding us. Patronising knob.

‘Wanna race?’ I ask her.

‘If you want,’ she chortles. ‘You seem totally in a sportswoman-like frame of mind right now.’

‘Were you always this sarcastic?’

‘Were you always this furious with everything and everyone?’

Hmm. ‘I’m not sure,’ I answer, actually thinking about her question. ‘I don’t think so. But it suits me, no? Being a raving bitch?’

We lock eyes again and she nods, the cow, but I can see her suppressing a smile.

With that I take off, leaving her in my wake in a spray of powder, and let the icy air race over my cheeks and fill my lungs. I hunch low, tunnels of lights in the dark overhead, soaring over the snow on my blades. My heart, though heavy, lifting itself just high enough to come along for the ride.

I pick up speed, and for the final twenty minutes let the thoughts of the others, one by one, melt into the crevices left behind me.

Most of the others.