Page 92 of The Casualty of Us (Philosophies of the Heart Duet #1)

“So when Oliver was born and they put him into my arms…” His voice trails off quietly, eyes dropping with a faraway look.

“I would have sworn to you in that moment nothing could beat it.” He shakes his head quickly.

“The love I had for him and my wife.” The words have my heart pumping faster and me about two seconds away from losing it on him regardless of whether he’s her dad or not.

“Then four minutes later, Ophelia came.” His gaze lifts back to mine with a heaviness there that suddenly seems unfathomable.

“The doctor put her into my arms, and she opened her eyes and just—” A sad smile flashes across his face. “She obliterated me.”

And that…that I understand completely.

It has me clearing my throat and quickly interjecting. “I know the feeling.”

The tension eases from me with the sudden sense that he might love her more than either Ollie or myself, even if the very fact might make me a little uncomfortable.

I’m at least smart enough to understand that it’s different too.

“I hope you do,” he tosses back, tone hard in a way I honestly haven’t heard from anyone much—besides maybe O.

“I’ve never felt as much guilt in my life as I did at that moment.

” His face tightens up, lines deepening with an uncomfortable look.

“For thinking I knew what I wanted before even knowing what I could have.” He holds up a hand as I unwind the words.

“Now I treasure them both equally, I do, but I’ve carried that moment with me the rest of my life.

” The understanding I have of that too has me clenching my fingers around the mug as he continues more quietly.

“Ollie was wailing away to his mother already, but Ophelia was just…silent.” He gives me that same sad smile.

“Staring at me like she could already see right through me.”

It hits me hard then, the understanding of what it must be like to be him, because I can’t imagine having babies with O one day only for one of them to keep popping up with some guy like me.

Not really knowing anything about me and under the less than desirable circumstances we keep meeting in. Fuck. I wouldn’t like me either.

Actually, I wouldn’t just not like me. I’d probably fucking hate me.

“Then she blinked, and her lower lip jutted out, and the rest of my life became about protecting her.” He pauses, face falling a little again, and the next words leave him shortly. “I’ve failed at times, obviously.”

I know instantly he’s talking about the kidnapping.

“From what I’ve heard, you have too in the past.” He holds my gaze for another long moment with dread filling me every second of it.

“Although I don’t know the particulars and at this point have no desire to.

” The sudden loss of tension makes me slump a little as he lifts a brow.

“She’s been through enough to last a lifetime already, wouldn’t you agree? ”

I nod quickly, understanding enough to know that this is some type of olive branch. “Yes, sir.”

“You will respect my daughter,” he presses, dropping his hands to rest on the counter with a warning look.

“You will give her your loyalty, or you will walk out of this house and never speak to her again.” The pause that comes then is full of a threat that I can not only understand but also respect. “Understood?”

“Understood.”

No hesitation to my reply because those things will always be give-ins to me when it comes to her.

“Good.” He nods, eyes staying on mine for a beat more before looking down and picking up his pen again. “We have donuts being delivered in about thirty minutes if you want to stick around. Blythe doesn’t believe in cooking on holidays.”

“Sure,” I exhale slowly, leaning back for the first time since sitting down as things ease between us enough to have me absently observing.

“She’s like you.” His gaze lifts back to mine curiously, and I clarify for him.

“You know, everyone always talks about her mom, but—” It’s in the little things.

“There’s something about how she handles people that’s similar to you. ”

“She does.” A surprised laugh leaves him as he nods, the smile much more genuine this time. “She got all her mother’s smarts, but the stubbornness is definitely my brand, I believe.”

I nod at that, my mouth pulling up with an answering twitch before it hits me that my second present for the day might be a bad move.

It has me clearing my throat uncomfortably again. “Could I ask you a favor?”

“What’s that?” His eyes narrow with the question, and I start fast, not wanting to lose any progress we’ve made.

“I understand that you may not want me or my father paying you back because of—” I don’t fucking know, legalities, maybe. Right now I have bigger things to worry about. “Your own reasons, but it would mean a lot to me if you would allow me to replace the jewelry.”

I keep my eyes on his, not backing down because this hill is one I’m willing to fight over until he nods slowly. “That seems fair.” He barely gives me time for a breath of relief before shooting off next. “So what are your plans? After college?”

Fuck. “I’m not sure yet.”

“Well.” He shrugs, turning back around to grab the coffee again. “You still have time, but it’s good for you to start thinking about it.”

“Yeah.” I nod. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Because he is right. It’s been my own little worry in the back of my head as more and more people around me start to find their path.

Football is Ollie’s love and dream, but for me…

it’s always been fun, yeah, a good time and outlet, but I don’t want to slave away for another twenty years doing it either.

I’d rather focus all that energy on much more pleasurable pursuits.

The problem is the only thing I really love to do outside of making O smile is also the one that mixes me up the most. One that I don’t even know how to start feeling about except for when I’m locked in a room with her.

But I still repeat it again because it’s true. “You’re right.”

Not wanting to admit to him that some part of me has already been wondering how she would feel about it too.

I guess I’ll find out soon, though.