Page 31 of The Casualty of Us (Philosophies of the Heart Duet #1)
I scoff as something occurs to me, making me toss back sharply, “And let me guess, they weren’t punished at all for this altercation?”
“No, they were,” Ollie answers quickly. “Coach came out and started yelling at everyone within earshot. Hayes got sent to Sutton after that, and I haven’t seen him since.”
Whatever. “Hmm.”
No need to consider if he’s smart enough to get himself out of it after that debate display.
A couple of minutes of silence pass between us then, nothing but the steady echoes of our breathing answering back and forth in the air before his hand closes around mine.
“Make peace with him, O.” He winds our fingers together, squeezing gently.
“You set the world on fire, now it’s time to put it out. ”
I open my eyes reluctantly, staring for another beat as his request loops around my head before turning to simply ask. “Why?”
“Because.” Slate blue eyes that are a mirror of mine flash with censure. “It’s time to stop and save yourself.”
I blink, curious where he stands about his roommate after this week. “Not him?”
“Him too.” His lips hitch up with a small grin. “Only because he’s been fucking unbearable this week, though.”
I swallow hard, fighting the sudden tightness in my throat and the pounding in my head to get out, “And if I want it all to burn?”
His brows fall, eyes moving between mine a couple of times and apparently not liking what he finds there if the sudden tension of his fingers around mine is any indication.
“Remember.” He squeezes my hand hard, gaze stilling on mine.
“After sixty million years, it’s the pangolin that walks by as the elephant mourns her baby. ”
My lips part with surprise at his words—our words—in a way.
The ones I gave to him after the kidnapping.
The rest of it slips past my lips on instinct, needing to complete the whole. “And somehow, goodness prevails.”
He takes full advantage of my momentary lapse, reaching over to flick my nose with his free hand before I can stop him. “Fight the madness, baby sister.”
“Rude.” I scowl at him, reaching up to rub at my nose while turning back to stare at my favorite thing.
Processing everything and admitting to myself that he does have a point because the only thing left of the pangolin’s original sidekicks are their fossils.
Everything about him and the words ease that knot enough to have it unraveling, leaving me breathing out deeply, “Fine, I’ll make peace. ”
“Good.”
His hand squeezes mine again, and I turn back, letting my eyes trail over our almost matching features and confessing softly, “Sometimes I wish I’d been you.” I bring my gaze back up to his. “I’m not sure…” My brows fall. “I’m not sure it would all hurt so much at times if I’d been you.”
“It would,” he whispers back gently, expression turning as tense as his hand around mine. “It would, O, just in different ways and for different reasons.”
“Do you ever wish you were me?”
“No.” He grins. “I’d be terrible at being you.”
“True,” I agree, lips twitching up a little. “You definitely lack the subtlety for it.”
He snorts. “Says the girl who used a book as a dangerous weapon today.”
A single laugh bubbles up before the grin slips from my face, leaving me staring at him while wrestling with something I’ve always known, but lately…
“I just.” I purse my lips, hating the way the bottom one is trying to tremble again.
“I just see so much sometimes, Ollie.” The admission immediately makes me start to rush out on its heels, shakily unearthing it all.
“I see so much and somehow—” I gasp as the first tear rolls down my cheek.
“I keep missing it. I keep missing the most important thing, and I can’t—he just put me right back there, and I hate him for it. ”
“I know,” he soothes, concern spilling from his eyes to overtake his face. “But it’s time to let it go. You aren’t God, O, you can’t expect that shit from yourself.”
I give him a quick nod. “I know that.”
“Come here.” He lets go of my hand to slide his arm behind my head, pulling me against him before starting quietly again.
“You have to be you because the world needs you to change it for the better, baby sister.” I scowl at the words even as his chest moves under my head, filling my nose with the smell of clean laundry and family.
“And it needs me to remind you it’s worth saving. ”
“Maybe,” I concede glumly before remembering something that’s probably worth mentioning. “You know I’m not supposed to have visitors, right?”
“Oh, I’m not here seeing you,” he tuts. “I’m getting notes from Marley.”
My lips lift with a small smile despite the couple of tears still falling. “Okay.”
“Give me some credit.” His chest rises with a laugh. “I may not have your IQ, but I’ve learned a thing or two by watching.”
“Got it.” Another quick laugh bubbles up, answering his, and I close my eyes, everything in me relaxing for the first time since…well, Christmas morning, I guess.
“By the way,” he starts again, smugness in his voice letting me know whatever is coming must be good. “Coach said I’ll be starting next season since Wander is graduating this year.”
“Congrats.” I yawn.
He pauses. “This means you’re going to have to actually come to the games now.”
“Don’t worry.” I give his chest a halfhearted pat. “If you get off that bench, I’ll be right there front and center.”
“Good,” he sighs before whispering, “Get some sleep, baby sister.” His arm pulls me in tighter. “I know the way out.”
And I do, passing out like a light within a couple of minutes, getting my first full night’s sleep since Hayes sent me spiraling with the worst Christmas present ever. Dreaming of a random assortment of things popping out of the little black box I never opened.