Page 25 of The Casualty of Us (Philosophies of the Heart Duet #1)

Chapter Thirteen

I’m dropping another spoonful of sugar into my tea when Marley finally comes tearing out of her room.

Heading straight for my door and making it a few steps past me before she turns back to do a double take.

Her eyes round to the size of saucers when she spots me at the kitchen counter, and her mouth drops a little.

I quickly finish stirring my tea while she recovers, seeing that she’s all ready for the first day back with her uniform on and backpack thrown over one shoulder.

Looking even more like a princess than usual with her long blonde hair braided to one side.

“Holy shit,” she mumbles, eyes dropping to look me over. “You’re awake.”

“Good morning, sunshine.” I give her a wide smile. “Missed your face.”

“Holy shit,” she repeats with a laugh, quickly walking over to where I’m standing while gushing. “I’m so sorry my plane got delayed and I didn’t get to see you last night.” Her eyes quickly move over my face. “How are you?”

“Perfect.” I bring my tea up to blow on it while giving her a small grin. “Ready for our first day.”

“I can see that.” Her gaze drops to the new electric kettle and tea setup I organized on the counter yesterday before coming back up to squint at my hair. “You’re wearing a ribbon in your hair.”

“I am.” I lift a hand to toy with the dark green ribbon tied around my ponytail, tossing her a mischievous, “Like it?”

“And you’re ready to go before me.” Her brows lower slowly. “Drinking tea.”

“There are scones in the fridge too if you want one.”

“What the fuck?” she whispers, her face quickly filling with suspicion. “Where’s my constantly late-and-grumpy-morning roommate?”

“On hiatus,” I deadpan, taking a sip of my tea before setting it on the counter and turning to face her. “You know what I realized over Christmas break?”

She gives me a blank look before eventually getting around to muttering, “What’s that?”

“The lack of sleep thing may suck sometimes, but it gives me a hell of a lot more time to get things done.” I sigh, looking down at my cup and ruminating over what hatched from the rest of my sleepless nights over break. “To plan.”

“Okay,” she drags out. “I’m a little scared, but I’ll bite.”

“It’s all about knowing how people tick.

” I circle a finger around the rim of the mug.

“You have to know where to hit them to make it hurt. To make sure the hit counts in your favor. I figured that out when Ollie had to deal with his first bully in second grade, and I had to during those three days, you know, I don’t think I ever told anyone that. ”

A muffled sound comes from somewhere. “O…”

“I don’t think anyone ever imagines what kidnappers will be like, but two of them definitely fell under my immediate expectation of what they would be.

Rough. Uncaring except for the bare necessities to keep me alive.

” My finger comes to a slow stop, and I continue quietly.

“Those weren’t the two that worried me, though…

it was the other one, the nice one, I guess.

He was the problem. The one who I could hear lingering too long after he brought me water.

The one who called me sweetheart.” I suck in a sharp breath. “He was the biggest threat.”

“Ophelia.”

The force behind my name has me blinking up to see Marley looking at me with concern etched all over her face and her hand half raised toward me.

“It’s fine.” I give her a small smile and force a slow breath. “I’m fine. Just making a point.”

She frowns at me but nods slowly. “Okay.”

“So I used the only leverage I had in that situation.” I shrug. “Myself.”

I cross my arms and clench my fingers around them, trying to keep my pulse steady through memories that I usually push back.

“It was later on my second day that he came into whatever room they were keeping me locked up in…and I immediately started thrashing around. Banging my head against the wall and doing as much as possible to injure myself. When the other two came in to see what was going on, I screamed at them to get him the fuck away from me or else I was going to kill myself.”

“Holy shit,” she whispers.

“Yeah,” I breathe sharply. “It served two purposes, though. One, to make sure they kept him away from me because I figured that they wouldn’t want to risk anything happening to me.

They were all about the money. And two…” Quickly looking down for a distraction, I reach for my mug and finish up.

“It raised the suspicions of the group as a whole. Had them watching each other more closely. It was my best chance.”

“I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine.” I wave her off with a quick sip. “Just don’t tell Ollie that shit, he’d lose it.”

“You should.” I look back up to see her face pinch up. “You should tell him. Talk to people more.”

“Maybe.” I give her that, but it’s definitely not a box I want to open right now. “But the point to all this is that I spent the rest of break mulling over none other than Hayes Ender Flynn.”

Her mouth drops a little again. “Oh, fuck.”

“So yeah.” I grin at her. “I’m very ready for the semester to start.”

She closes her mouth with a snap. “I’m somehow scared, concerned, and excited all at the same time, and I don’t know which emotion should win.”

“Why are you scared?” I laugh softly, finishing off the last sip of tea.

“Because I think there’s a whole lot of repression happening right now.”

“Absolutely.” I snort. “But there’s a process to it all.”

“Great.” She nods. “As long as you’re self-aware.”

My phone chimes on the counter, and I look down to see the response I’ve been waiting on for the last ten minutes.

Is that even a question? When and where?

I set my cup down with a grin and pick up the phone, quickly typing out a reply.

Give me twenty minutes. Then come pick me up from the mess hall.

The little bubbles start up as soon as my message goes through, and his next one comes instantly.

Any other stipulations, Fitzroy?

I reach down for my backpack while thinking it over and finish off with a quip that I’m sure he’ll love. Even if he probably doesn’t need the encouragement.

Make sure it looks good. I’ll owe you one.

“Come on.” I grin up at Marley. “I’m on a time crunch now.”

“For what?”

“The plan.” I take off for the door and toss out over my shoulder as she hurries after me, “You’ll see.”

Marley’s so tense by the time we make it to the mess hall that I’m pretty sure she’s waiting for a riot to break out or something.

Which really isn’t fair considering that a riot wouldn’t help me at all right now.

Nope. A riot probably wouldn’t bother Hayes one bit.

Other things, though…me, specifically, well, I can bother the shit out of him.

I’d had to concede that about a week after Christmas as my phone continued to blow up with messages from him.

I’d had to concede because it was the most readily available resource at my disposal.

I’d had to concede because, as Sun Tzu preaches, you should know your enemy as well as yourself. I’d had to concede to win.

And whatever he’s done or hasn’t done, no matter how much he’s fucked up or hurt me…he cares too, unfortunately. Some part of him. He was too careful with me for it to be anything else. Put too much effort in when there was no lack of other options for him.

So either he thought he could get away with whatever happened and is really just a piece of shit, or there’s more to the story.

Either way, it’s still there. Whatever feelings he has. Those pesky little things don’t just disappear as much as I myself would like them to. They just transform to different shades.

And from the multitude of messages that he sent and I quickly scrolled through while trying not to look at anything too closely….

His have been bludgeoned to a guilty pulp, while mine have been shredded to a point.

Fucking messy. All of it.

Him, especially.

Which is why he can do his time for the crime while I ease back into existing within the same sphere as him until the ache isn’t quite so deep. Then once that’s done, we can find some common ground of ignoring each other whenever possible, and everything will be fine. Perfectly fine.

Marley stumbles as we come up on the table, but I don’t falter at all in plopping down in my usual seat and giving everyone a wide grin.

Immediately noticing the way their conversation comes to a sudden halt and how Ollie tenses up beside me.

How Holden’s eyes are moving between everyone so quickly they’re practically jumping out of his skull and how Marley sits down so slowly it’s like she’s scared any sudden moves will cause that riot. And how…

How Hayes sits across from me.

Purple bags under his eyes. Clothes wrinkled and his tie hanging loose around his neck with his hair still wet. Not one but two shadowy bruises on the right side of his face and both cheeks a little red, like he’s been running or something.

Looking like someone just slowly skinned a puppy in front of him.

Not a dimple or sparkle in sight.

With a full breakfast tray and tea sitting there untouched between us.

Fucking asshole.

Stupid, stupid, fucking sad little rock star—

Nope. Get it together.

“So how was everyone’s break?” I prop my elbow up on the table and drop my head into my hand. “I missed you guys.”

About five seconds of resounding silence fills the table before everyone starts to try talking at once.

“Well, you were there, so—”

“My mother—”

“O—”

“It was—”

I turn to Holden since he’s the easiest for me. “How was seeing your dad?”

“It was good.” He gives me a small smile. “We drove up to my grandma’s when he had a couple of days off and spent some time with the extended family.”

“That can be fun.” I grin back before dipping my head side to side. “Depending on the family.”

“True.” He laughs. “Most of them are a good time, though, so it wasn’t too bad.”

“O.”