Page 45 of The Casualty of Us (Philosophies of the Heart Duet #1)
“Sure, Ophelia.” She smiles, passing my drink over. “No problem.”
“Thanks so much.”
I take the drink from her a second before Talan’s voice interrupts. “What’s taking so long?”
“Jesus.” I jump, head whipping around to find him behind me now. “I got you food. Chill out.”
“Huh.” He eyes me suspiciously for a second before his gaze drifts toward the display case. “What’d you get?”
“Food.” I snort, rolling my eyes back and seeing the grin on Zoey’s face as she packages up the croissants. “Say thank you.”
Appreciating yet again that she’s a person who knows how to mind her own business and has never asked about the particulars of the assortment of people that trail after me everywhere. Such a rare breed these days.
Cara next door is way too chatty for my liking.
Especially while I’m trying to add more acts of fraud to my repertoire.
At least I can’t be charged with self-endangerment. Now that’d be a—
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I choke down a sip of the overly sweet and caffeinated monstrosity that I’m holding while reaching down to dig it out of my leggings.
All for Talan’s benefit, of course, because I can’t very well come to a coffee shop every day to order the exact same thing I can make at home. It’d be way too obvious.
I press the side of my phone to check it and look down, immediately going still at the message on the screen.
Miss you, Freckles.
And for an instant, everything about me hurts, longing to just sob the entire freaking sordid ordeal to him. Then wrap myself around him and demand he sing to me. Maybe lose myself for a while in that newly discovered thing between us.
Let him take control for a bit.
But I don’t do any of that.
I just stare at it…because he’s half a world away and having the time of his life from what I’ve seen of it.
“Whoa,” Talan’s voice intrudes, bringing my attention to how he’s moved closer and is pointing at my phone now. “That’s the ‘he,’ isn’t it?”
I glare at him, pulling my phone back out of his view immediately. “What are you talking about?”
“Your face.” He moves his finger up to the object in question, and my brows fall further. “It hasn’t looked like that all summer.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I toss back shortly. “This is literally how my face looks all the time.”
“Nope.” He shakes his head like a freaking dog with a bone, and that stupid little smile pops up as he tacks on thoughtfully. “Your resting bitch face definitely let up there for a second.” My mouth pops open as he turns to Zoe. “Back me up here, it did, didn’t it?”
I whip my head back her way in time to see a guilty smile spread on her face before she betrays me too. “It totally did.”
“Whatever.” I take another sip of the disgusting drink, narrowing my eyes at Talan and hoping to distract him. “What are you going to do when I go back to school anyway?”
“Continue to run down possible leads.” He pats the top of my head. “Don’t worry though, we’ll be stationed right outside the campus in case you feel like making any impromptu trips.”
“Ugh.” I smack his hand away, and he laughs as Zoe passes the box of croissants over.
Allowing me to step back from them both and steal a moment to type back quickly.
Miss you too, Dimples.
Everything in me aches to still be back in my room with him the night before I left school while pressing send. The entire summer I was supposed to have to unravel my feelings surrounding him being shot dead on arrival.
The little bubbles pop up, and an instant later another message sits there.
Stop scowling.
I blink at it, my face twitching before it clears with the realization I’m doing just that, and another one appears.
Now.
A soft laugh escapes past my lips, and I quickly shoot back.
Never.
Shoving the phone back into my pocket and looking up just as Talan turns back, his eyes landing on me as he calls out, “You coming?”
“Yeah.” I nod, walking to the door where he’s waiting for me and quipping, “So, same time tomorrow work for you?”
“Ha,” he snarks, eyes dropping to the box in his hands longingly. “Who knows? Maybe the croissants are poisoned and I’ll be dead by then.”
I almost say a girl can dream …almost, but some part of me that doesn’t actually want him to die just sighs. “Let’s hope not, because I’m eating them too.”
He gasps. “Is that self-preservation I hear, Ms. Fitzroy?”
My phone buzzes in my pocket again, and I almost miss the first step leading up to the sidewalk before clenching my drink a little more tightly to stop from reaching for it. Leaving the conversation unfinished, just like I have all summer, to stop from telling him about any of this.
Not even Ollie has crossed that line with me yet.
I just don’t know how to say it to him. That the nightmare that was supposed to be over is taking place for me in full color now. That all I want to do is lash out.
To give this anger twisting right behind my chest a target.
But I can’t—am left with it exploding out in little bursts at any random passerby instead of the person truly responsible for it.
And now the one person I thought I would always be able to count on seems farther away than ever, and the other person I’m just beginning to trust again is eight hours ahead and an entire reality shift away from me.
We pass by the postal shop on the way back to where our black Suburban is idling by the curb, and I flick my eyes to where the orderly little PO boxes line the outside wall.
The sight of them makes my stomach drop suddenly, and I quickly swallow down that sick feeling while jerking my gaze away from them.
Reminding myself for the millionth time as I get into the car under Mia’s watchful gaze that it’s better this way anyway. That they’re safer.
Because in his mind, it’s a game for two, which means they’re both obstacles here. Obstacles that would stand in his way if allowed to and disposable ones to him at that. I knew it the second I realized it.
Rosemary for remembrance.
Hide-and-seek, ready or not…because I’m the only non-disposable one to him here.
Game on, motherfucker.
Can’t wait to show you just how much I’ve missed you too.