Page 63 of The Casualty of Us (Philosophies of the Heart Duet #1)

“Do you?” His eyes narrow on mine, and it’s like a freaking hit to my chest. “Because there are times I swear you do, and then there are others…” My heart clenches up further with every word, and even the little knot sitting in front of it gives a shiver as he shakes his head.

“I just need to know you feel a fraction of the way I do, just a fraction, because I’m sitting here trying to figure out—”

“I do,” I cut in quickly. “I do, Hayes, I do.” A beat passes, and he drops his arms, leaving me hurrying before he can land one way or another. “There are times when this feels like the most real thing in my life.”

His eyes flare, voice immediately dropping to a rasp. “Freckles—”

“And I care if you end up dead because some psycho can’t get over a crush.”

His lips twitch like he’s holding something in right before he reaches a hand for mine, snagging a couple of my fingers and using them to pull me closer.

Waiting until I’ve scooted my ass almost directly in front of him before lifting both of our hands to my cheek and breathing out with quiet reassurance, “I’m not going to die. ”

“You don’t know that.” I give him a hard shake of my head. “You can’t know that, just like I didn’t know—”

“Ophelia,” He drops his thumb to right under my chin, stilling me and insisting confidently. “I’m not going to die.”

I frown. “Why do you think that?”

“It just…” He trails off with a small shrug. “Doesn’t feel like the way my story is going to end.”

“It doesn’t feel like it?” I stare at him, repeating it back again to make sure I didn’t mishear. “It doesn’t feel like it?” An incredulous snort leaves me. “You’re basing your life off of a freaking feel—”

“I’m basing it off of the pangolins.” His dimples flash, a bit of the usual mischief flickering back to life in the hazel that pulls at me hard. “Which is your own logic—”

“And that is at best a loose theoretical concept, not an actual—”

“Ophelia,” His thumb slips up to my bottom lip, voice dropping low as he demands. “Tell me something.” I hold perfectly still as his eyes move between mine a couple of times, sensing the shift. “Are you mine?”

The hazel stills on the blue with the question, and I suck in a sharp breath, holding it and trying to rip some truth of the universe from my own head before giving him the only one I find there. “Yes.”

Following the instinct and hoping that I didn’t just horribly miscalculate here.

“Only mine?” His thumb slides over the skin, something else working its way into the gold flecks to edge out the lingering moodiness there.

“Yes.” Because it’s all I want to see. His gaze lit up all pretty for me.

“Say it again.” And when he dips his thumb into my mouth with the order, I start to get it—that he needs some control here.

That maybe he needs something to make him feel like I’m not about to just up and disappear.

Be stolen away or go right over the edge without a second thought about him.

Toss myself into the river like my namesake.

Just like his mom did to him in a way too.

She would’ve let them both drown in the flames and…

I can understand needing something to cling to when it all starts to close in.

So I bite the tip of his thumb, flicking my tongue against it and loving the way his pupils blow wide before dragging it through my teeth to answer. “I’m yours.”

“Then fuck the rest of it.” He exhales harshly, hand immediately dropping to join the other in reaching for the back of my ass and hauling me up on top of him.

Ending with me straddling him as he leans back against the headboard and narrows his eyes at me in warning.

“But either you handle Kyler, or I’ll take out a page in the Times just to announce it.

” My stomach launches itself straight into a full-blown flutter at the blatant possession in his voice, and he squeezes my ass.

“Deal with it your way, or I will deal with it mine.” Because apparently I wasn’t fast enough in my response for him, he pushes, “Understood?”

And because I can still feel some of the tension running through his body, I grin and give a little wiggle in his lap. “Yes, sir.”

Immediately being rewarded when that choked noise leaves him, his fingers pressing hard into my skin for a split second before he raises a hand to the front of my hoodie and grabs it.

He lifts up and crashes his lips to mine with no hesitancy this time, bringing his thumb up to my chin and pulling it down to grant himself entry.

Tongue immediately seeking mine as his other hand presses me down against him, and I gasp at the hardness there.

Stealing the air from his mouth as he slots himself against me and rolls his hips, hitting me just right and setting off about a week’s worth of pent-up frustration on my part. Every little touch and stolen moment not nearly enough all of the sudden.

It has me reaching for the bottom of my hoodie, something like urgency riding me and making me pull back enough to break the kiss before ripping it over my head. Only knowing that I want to feel more of him against me. Skin-to-skin.

And that maybe that’s exactly what he needs right now too.

I drop the hoodie off the side of the bed and look back to find his eyes everywhere, trailing from my shoulders to my waist before eventually coming up to where my breasts are wrapped up in a pretty blue bra.

One that I may or may not have thought about him while buying over the summer, the delicate lace something that I couldn’t say no to and reminding me that they have that in common.

He swallows visibly, body tightening up underneath mine like he’s trying to hold himself in check, and the hand that was just on my face reaches to wrap around my waist. His thumb brushes up over my ribs to the bottom of my bra, and hazel eyes lift to mine with a question in them that has me pressing down against him.

Answering it and setting off another wave of tiny shocks that has me reaching for him.

That’s apparently all the encouragement he needs, though.

He brushes his thumb over my nipple, and I gasp as he rises back up to nip at my bottom lip.

His gaze nothing but dark mischief when he pulls back just enough to have my lips chasing his and does it again.

A breathy sound leaves me, and his eyes drop to my mouth and stay there.

The hand on my ass pulling me tighter against him with an answering groan coming from him that has me quickly running my hands over his skin.

Loving the way it jumps underneath my fingertips and wanting to feel more of it. More of him.

Wanting to…play. To give.

To make sure he has something to keep his eyes all lit up for a while.

I drop my lips to his neck, kissing my way up to his ear and breathing out a little unevenly, “Can I touch you?”

“Fuck.” He exhales harshly, hands immediately going to my hips and squeezing there. “Anywhere.”

I start to kiss my way back down his neck with every breath bringing me closer to that cedar scent.

Quickly finding that it settles something inside of me with its rightness and eases that shred of doubt still floating around in my head.

It has me flicking my tongue against the base of his throat before dropping down to kiss the center of his chest. His fingers press into my hips hard before he lets go, and I scoot back, sliding myself down in between his legs and pressing a couple of kisses to his stomach while reaching for the top of his sweatpants.

His abs jerk under my lips with every brush until they’re solid by the time I press them against the last inch of visible skin there.

I slide my fingers under the edge of the fabric and pause, uncertainty hitting me hard about what comes next.

Tugging at some vulnerability that I hate but it still has me glancing up at him.

Blue searching out the hazel and to find him staring down at me with his hands clenched in the covers at his sides.

“Will you…” I swallow again, not wanting to be bad—for it to be bad for him—and the fear that it might be pushes me to address just that. “Will you tell me what to do?”

His gaze turns intent, eyes flicking between mine. “You know you don’t have to—”

“I want to.” I brush my lips across the line of his hip and hear him inhale sharply while clarifying, “Please, I just—I don’t want to mess it up.” That vulnerability gives another tug that has me peeking back up through my lashes to admit. “And I want you to like it.”

“Freckles.” The nickname seems to burst from him on another harsh breath, and he lifts a hand to run his thumb across my bottom lip.

“At this point, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could do to me that I wouldn’t like.

” His dimples flash, possession flaring to life in his eyes.

“But feel free to try your best to find something if you want, yeah?”

I dip my head to hide the silly grin that wants to spread and bite the tip of his thumb before letting it out with a soft pop.

Something in me unfurling with pleasure at the comment and making me brave enough to drop down.

Running my teeth across that line of his hip and hearing another harsh breath from him before lifting up to blink down at the obvious bulge in his sweatpants.

Swallowing and trying to make my brain work past the haze of well…Hayes, to figure out the logistics because surely—

Oh, fuck it.

I start to tug his sweatpants down, quickly realizing just why he seemed to slot so easily up against me when I don’t find any type of boxers there.

Instead encountering nothing but smooth skin and a sprinkling of black hair before the head of his cock pops out.

The tip already leaking and making my heart kick into an even higher gear as I pull the sweatpants down the rest of the way.