Page 76 of The Casualty of Us (Philosophies of the Heart Duet #1)

“You wouldn’t,” she hisses back, but the little bit of doubt filling her face is probably for the best because I absolutely would.

“Try me.” I laugh shortly. “Only one of us has bodyguards that care enough to know where they’re at.”

Her eyes fall to slits before she snaps, “That’s not fair.”

“I don’t care.”

“Fine, just…” she huffs, lip jutting out for a second and falling into a pout. “I’m not not doing anything, all right?” Barely giving me anything before she lifts her chin stubbornly. “It’s still more of a long shot as of now, but…if it progresses any further, I’ll tell you, okay?”

She’s still trying to wiggle her way out of it, though, and it has me taking a deep breath while working out how to handle this. Knowing it’s always a fine line with her.

“Just don’t tell anyone, okay?”

And there it is, that flash of fear again with the question because she’s scared someone is going to try and stop her.

That I might turn into the object in front of her train.

Every fear from over the summer comes rushing back suddenly with the realization that part of her never really stopped when we came back here. That somewhere in between falling even more in love with her behind closed doors…she made a move that I missed.

It’s the difference between knowing she isn’t capable of stopping and seeing it firsthand.

“Fuck,” I choke out, frustration and fear mixing to tighten up my chest. “You promised you wouldn’t keep something—”

“And I won’t,” she jumps in quickly with panic playing out over her own face now. “I’m sorry, okay? I swear I will tell you if anything more comes—”

“ More ?”

Her mouth snaps closed with my demand before she whispers.

“Give me till the end of Christmas break and I’ll tell you.

” She drops her eyes, reaching out to give my tie a pull before looking back up to add, “I promise I’m not in any more danger than usual, and I’ll know by then if it’s even going to work. ”

My brows drop at the request, the rest of my body strung tight and making me a tad more sympathetic to Ollie’s fit over her summer running habit because I’d sure as hell love to have one myself right now.

The sick feeling in my stomach is telling me that whatever she’s hiding is probably going to have me wanting to hire fucking teams of additional bodyguards.

But I also know this is probably the best I’m going to get without resorting to extreme methods, and even then…

it’s hard to make O give before she’s ready.

In fact, I’m pretty sure the only breaking point in her is the one in her own head.

“Please.” She gives my tie another pull, vulnerability filling and leaving her eyes in the span of a blink that decimates me. “Please, Hayes, I swear to you, no more lies, but just give me till the end of the month.”

“Swear it on my life.”

Because she seems to care about that so much more than her own.

She pauses, breath hitching at my demand and making other parts of me perk up in appreciation of our proximity before the promise leaves her softly. “I swear.”

Fuck. “That’s my girl.”

I drop my lips to hers, brushing them quickly across and loving the way her eyes fall shut immediately. The way every part of her starts to soften when I press my body into hers before nipping at her bottom lip. Wanting to make sure she remembers the point here.

And her gasp does something to my panic that has me saying fuck it as long as she remembers this.

I slide my cheek against hers while bringing my mouth to her ear. “I need you to care a little more about your life, okay?”

“Hayes—”

“No,” I growl, tightening my grip on her hip and dropping my lips down to press them against her pulse. “You are not allowed to play God with something that is mine .”

Sucking on the skin there and dying to make that very fucking visible as she gives a hard pull on my tie, breathing out shakily, “Hayes, fuck, please.”

I let the skin out with a pop, immediately teasing her. “Please what?”

Using my grip to press myself harder against her, she drops her head back against the bookcase and gasps, “Let’s go back to the dorm.”

“No.” I lift up until my lips are a breath away from hers and wait for her eyes to crack.

“I am not asking you to change who you are or turn your back on that.” Using my free hand to snag her under the thigh and hook it over my hip, I make sure she can’t escape before lowering my voice to push.

“I am asking you to take two seconds to remember your promise to me before throwing yourself directly into the path of whatever psycho you happen to come across.” Her mouth opens like she’s going to argue, and I nip at her lip again.

“Because you don’t get to finally let me love you only to act like my fucking heart wouldn’t die right along with yours. ”

Her eyes widen with shock, and I drop to my knees before she can get a second wind. Tossing her thigh up over my shoulder with the move and turning my head to kiss the inside of it before speaking against the skin there.

“You may have your needs, but I have mine, and making sure you’re okay will always be one of them.

” I glance up at the breathy sound that fills the air to find her looking down at me with her chest rising sharply and the need pouring off her.

“So we can do this the easy way or the hard way, but that’s my line in the sand.

” I push her skirt up another few inches before running my mouth over the newly exposed skin. “No more secrets. No more lies.”

I bite down gently and breathe in something that’s all Ophelia.

Something sharp and sweet that contradicts itself even as it somehow makes sense.

Like wine and honey or pomegranates or something.

Something that has my cock pulsing hard with the need to bury myself in her and not leave for the foreseeable future.

Since that’s not on the table, though…

I drop my hand from her hip to give her ass a light smack before looking back up to find a blatant curiosity in her eyes that has me pushing her skirt up those last couple of inches.

Holding her gaze and loving the way her breathing turns jagged.

Tempting me with all the possibilities of what would happen the longer I make her wait, but this isn’t the place for that game.

Doesn’t mean I’m not absolutely making the most of this, though.

“Now tell me and be honest.” I brush my lips across the front of her panties, and her heel digs into my back. “Do you want me to stop, baby?”

“Fuck, no—” She gasps, hand immediately going to my hair. “I mean, we could—” I bite down on the silk under my lips, and a soft noise leaves her as she drops her head back against the bookcase again. “No—don’t stop, don’t stop.”

I drop my eyes at the permission, finally looking down to find a pair of blue panties waiting that have a groan slipping from me.

The wet spot I can see a little further down on the silk because of me immediately making me take a deep breath—trying to fight for some semblance of control—but it only has me drowning further in her instead.

Pushing me to reach up with the hand on her thigh and quickly pull her panties to the side.

Exposing her to me and swallowing hard at the sight of her spread out vulnerably.

All pretty pink lips that are already wet for me, but I force myself to hold back, lifting my eyes back to hers first and knowing this is important.

“You are precious to me.” I kiss the little thatch of neatly trimmed hair at the top of her slit. “Remember that.”

Her mouth opens with a sharp breath, and I drop my eyes back down, using my fingers to spread her wide and dropping my mouth to her clit.

The needy sound she lets out at the contact has me quickly reaching up with my other hand to cover her mouth.

Suddenly really wishing that I had followed her suggestion and gone back to the dorms so I could do this for hours there but part of me knows I love doing it here too.

Love the fact that someone might walk by and see just how mine she is.

How much I belong to her too.

I suck down hard on her clit with that in mind, tongue swiping over it and the taste of her bursting over my tongue.

Another groan leaves me at it, and a muffled sound vibrates against my hand as I drop down to her entrance.

Knowing that I don’t have to exercise quite as much caution as usual and spearing my tongue up into her without hesitation. Fucking greedy for it.

Wanting to taste exactly what it is I do to her. The tangible proof dripping over my tongue that she’s just as deep into this as I am. That she’s really mine.

I want every first and last and everything in between she could ever give me.

I want my ring on her finger and maybe even a tattoo for us one day if she’ll let me get away with it.

I want all the arguments and the million dirty things I’ve thought about doing to her to go along with them.

All the fucking repentance reading that I’ll probably do.

A couple of brats with their own brand of spiral if she feels like it.

She just doesn’t know it yet, but that’s okay.

I decided nothing else will do for my life—because she’s it.

A little cry makes it past my hand to fill the air, and I bring my fingers up to roll over her clit, starting to mimic exactly what I want to do to her with my tongue.

Cock practically leaking as she pulls at my hair and grabs for the bookcase.

Her hips start to roll against my mouth, and her heel digs into my back as she chases the release I can feel coming.

Inner walls fluttering over my tongue and mouth opening in a silent scream against my hand that has me pushing down harder on her clit.

Rolling my fingers faster and knowing there will be time to do this slower later, but right now…

I need it, and so does she, even if she doesn’t realize it.

Because this is a first, and I need her to remember this.

Her fingers give a sharp pull on my hair, hips jerking once before her body locks up, and I groan when she comes a second later.

Evidence of it sliding down my tongue and wetting my lips and leaving me fighting the urge to bury myself in her all over again.

Pushing my tongue deeper instead and practically trying to sanctify it. This moment.

So that she doesn’t forget.

I feel her body go soft again as she starts to come down from the high, and it has me pulling back enough to lick my way up through her.

She jerks at the move and I glance up to find her staring down at me with something like devastation and wonderment filling her face, which I wholeheartedly understand because it’s starting to feel like she’s my own form of religion.

That’s exactly why I move my fingers too, pressing my lips to her intimately one more time while keeping our eyes locked before repeating. “You are precious to me.”

I pull her panties back into place and move my hand back under her thigh to stand.

Keeping my hold on her and us pressed up against each other while lifting my other hand to the side of her face.

Some of the panic still lingering in my chest unfurls into something proud at the way she stares up at me while bringing her hands to my shoulders. At the trust there.

“Remember that.” I run my thumb over her bottom lip with the quiet words. “Remember this moment and that you don’t get to play God with what’s mine.” Her breath hitches over my thumb, and I push some more. “No more secrets.” Tapping her lip before checking again. “Do you understand me?”

She blinks once, chest rising against mine with a breath before answering softly. “I swear.”

The crack at the end of her voice makes me lose the battle with the twitch of my lips this time, and I drop my thumb.

“Good.” I brush my lips against hers, knowing I’m not going to be able to let her out of my sight for the rest of the day now and maybe not even then. “Then we can go back to the dorm now.”

“Ass.” Her lips lift against mine for a moment before falling with a whisper. “I really do promise.”

“I know, baby.” I pull back, reaching up to brush a few strands of hair away from her face and letting the twitch turn into a grin. “And you didn’t hit anyone with a book this time either, so we’re making progress.”

“That’s not—” she huffs. “You didn’t—it’s not the same—” Her brows fall, words dying off before she scowls at me. “You have got to stop saying that word in the library.”

“Right,” I scoff a laugh at her sacrilegious tone, pressing a quick kiss to her lips and dropping her leg. “You think about where exactly would be a better place, then, while I see how many more times we can do that before break.”

“Sounds great.”

“If you happen to spill the details of whatever plan that God complex has you cooking up after about the hundredth time of having my tongue inside of you.” I snatch up a couple of her fingers, bringing them up to my lips and biting down on the tips before shrugging.

“Who could blame you? You are only human, after all.”

“Funny,” she snorts softly, following it up with a glare that’s not packing any real heat right about now.

“Noted, okay? I get the point. No running after strange men in the woods or hatching questionable plans before calling.” Her face falls with a more genuine frown that has my brows dropping even before she mutters, “I’m going to need a second before we can go, though. ”

“Why?” My heart kicks up again, eyes dropping to look her over and check for injury, or I don’t fucking know with her. Hidden weapons or—

“I don’t think I can make my legs work yet.”

A grin springs to life on my face at that, every part of me smug as fuck that she loves it just as much as me.

That she loves me even if it hasn’t settled enough for her to say it yet.

“Stop it.”

“You’re cute, baby.”