Page 88 of The Casualty of Us (Philosophies of the Heart Duet #1)

Chapter Forty-Three

I get home around one in the afternoon, barely able to lift my feet by the time I make it to the top of the stairs without having seen anyone else yet.

My parents are probably still napping in preparation for Christmas Eve tonight, but Ollie and Hayes are conspicuously absent.

Especially considering that I’ve sent almost every purchase to the house in advance. For five hours now.

Not that I bought anything too crazy, but still.

I figured Hayes would at least find the Doubtful Souls shirt I threw in for him at one of the stores amusing enough to maybe give me a ring.

Not that I really know what his reaction will be to all of this or what exactly Ollie told him about everything that transpired.

How does one react to one’s girlfriend blackmailing their mother for blackmailing and embezzling from them?

Definitely don’t think that one is in any handbook.

It’s going to hurt him, even after everything she’s already put him through. It’s still going to cut deep. That kind of betrayal from the person who brought you into this world can’t not hurt, because it’s the one person who’s supposed to love you unconditionally—and I hate it for him.

Hate that it’s the one thing that I can’t fix here.

It’s what had me dragging Mia clear across town on Christmas Eve after shopping to stop by my other favorite bakery and betray Zoey…but some things only honey cake can fix, and this is one of them.

So I bought one for everyone else and one for me, telling myself that I’ve more than earned it. Hoping that it and some eggnog help soften the blow if Hayes is mad at me.

Because I’m not sure I could really take that right now.

Survive it? Sure, but it’ll hurt like a bitch on the heels of everything else. Having to work through that…I just don’t know which way he’s going to land, though, because the mommy issues are there, but—

Fuck. I just really hope he isn’t mad.

I’m almost shaking by the time I make it to the guest room door, mind and body both completely spent but not trusting anyone else with this delivery.

The pain from last night is now a constant pulse between my legs that has me wincing with every step, but I still lift a hand and push the door open to step inside.

My eyes immediately find all the other bags stacked neatly at the foot of the bed that’s covered in a navy satin duvet.

The rest of the room, with its dresser and desk done in a scheme of creams, just highlights the warm shades of the guy currently lying on top of it.

His face looking all kinds of torn as he stares at me with an arm propped behind his neck and wearing some of Ollie’s borrowed sweats.

“Hi,” I try lamely, swallowing at the little crack in my voice and dropping my eyes to run over all the bags again before frowning. “Damn, the TV isn’t here yet.”

A beat passes before his gravelly voice fills the room suddenly.

“The TV—” The low note to it makes me jerk my gaze back up and I see him swing his legs off the bed.

Already taking that first step by the time he’s standing with his eyes never leaving mine and not stopping until he’s in front of me.

Leaving barely any space between us and clearly all kinds of pissed as he takes me in.

“Want to tell me why my dad called about an hour ago wondering why he just received a certified letter notifying him of my change of address?” He lifts a brow. “And that was just to start?”

“David worked faster than I thought.” I frown harder. “I’ll have to find out if you tip lawyers of questionable ethic—”

“ Ophelia ,” he breathes harshly, stepping into me and making me tip my head back to see some of the hardness on his face start to crack.

“If you didn’t look dead on your feet right now, I swear I’d drag you right back to the shower for this.

” His hand reaches for the one of mine that’s holding the guitar case, taking it from me gently with a drop of his brows. “What’s this?”

“Merry Christmas,” I breathe, shifting on my feet a little.

“I know you love to play, and I wanted you to have somewhere safe to always do that, okay?” His face falls with another crack, and I clear my throat quickly.

“A space that’s just yours too, that isn’t even mine.

” I barely resist the urge to just drop where I am and instead shuffle to the side before looking past him to the bed longingly. “I’m going to sit down now.”

Not wanting to be rude or ignore him but quite literally unable to stay on my feet any longer and not thinking passing out is going to help the situation at all.

“Fucking hell,” he curses, voice going from gravelly to outright growly as the sound of the guitar being set down has me glancing back to catch the warning look he gives me. “You are in so much trouble, Freckles.”

Right before he drops down, picking me up with one of his arms snagging me under the legs and the other going behind my back. My gaze stays on his through it all, and my arms go around his neck automatically despite the tumble my stomach does that has me checking quietly. “You’re mad at me?”

He pauses, eyes dropping to run over my face and turning even more unhappy before coming back up with a soft. “Furious.”

“Shit.”

The curse leaves me as he looks away to take that first step, and I wince at the little twinge between my legs it brings. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I was doing, okay?” I try to explain the order of events. “I started looking into a way to get you out from under her before summer and—

“Before summer?” His gaze jerks to mine as he crosses the threshold of the guest bath, holding there until I nod quickly and another sharp scoff leaves him.

“Jesus Christ.” He makes it to the built-in marble counter on the left, and I open my mouth to argue when his arms tighten around me with a low order. “You wait here.”

Not giving me a second before he sets me down on the counter and turns to the giant bath sitting in the middle of the room.

The shower is tucked on the other side with the toilet behind the door on its right and all of it continues the cream and navy scheme of the bedroom.

He comes to a quick stop beside the tub, each motion measured and tight while reaching down to flip the drain closed before turning the hot water on.

Pretty much tempting me with heaven right about now as he runs his hand underneath the stream a few times.

Waiting until he’s apparently satisfied with the temperature before turning back to me.

His gaze settles against mine, and the love that’s still there eases something inside of me enough to finally let go of the wall I’ve been carrying between me and the world today.

It gives way to a vulnerability that he seems to be able to reach so easily now, one that has my lower lip trembling all over again even as I whisper. “I know I can be a lot, okay?”

His brows shoot down sharply. “That’s not what I—”

“I can.” I nod, biting my lip quickly and watching him move back toward me before gasping.

“I know I can,” The words start to rush out of me as he comes closer.

“I just wanted you to have an escape hatch from her at first, but then after seeing everything—” I gasp for a breath, and he stops slowly in front of me. “I knew I had to tell you too.”

“Why didn’t you?” He places a hand on either side of my hips and leans in. “Tell me when you found out she was stealing.”

“I only found out that she was still doing it after Thanksgiving.” I shrug, knowing it doesn’t justify not saying anything immediately but still giving him all the thoughts in my head because he deserves them.

“Everything else had been in the past before that, and there wasn’t anything I could do to change that and—” I blink rapidly to fight the way my eyes are trying to fill with tears.

“I knew it would break your heart.” My voice cracks over the confession. “And I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Baby.” His face twists for a beat before he reaches for mine with his thumbs automatically caressing my cheeks. “The only person who could break my heart is you, all right?”

I jerk a quick nod, everything seeming to suddenly give way inside of me and making me gasp. “Okay.” My voice goes all uneven no matter how hard I try to fight as that sense of safety he brings settles around me fully for the first time today. “And thank you for loving me anyway, by the way.”

“Ophelia Sage,” he hums on a low note, amusement flaring in the hazel holding mine. “Only a fool wouldn’t love you.” His thumb drops to run over my bottom lip. “I love you more today than I thought was possible yesterday.”

“But.” I frown in confusion, not understanding. “Why are you mad at me then?

His face quickly fills with an unhappy look, hands dropping to the bottom of my sweatshirt while ordering softly, “Lift your arms for me, baby.”

I do so without question, and he pulls my sweatshirt up over my head before dropping it, reaching a hand back to get rid of his own and starting to tug my boots off while looking me over carefully.

As if he’s checking to see if I managed to damage myself in the six or so hours we’ve been apart, which isn’t entirely uncalled for with my track record.

He finishes tugging my boots off and finally brings his gaze back to mine. “How much?”

A tension returns to his face with the question that finally answers my own about what exactly he’s pissed over. “Really?” I frown.

“Yeah, really,” he scoffs, hands going to the top of my sweatpants with another order. “Lift up.”

I move to comply while clarifying, “That’s what you’re mad about? The money?” My nose scrunches up with distaste and he tugs my bottoms down. “That’s stupid.”

His eyes narrow on me as he drops down, tugging the pants off one leg at a time for each word that follows. “How much?”

I purse my lips, inhaling slowly through my nose before trying. “It’s nothing compared—”

“Ollie wouldn’t tell me how much, which means it has to at least be a good chunk of change.

” He cuts me off with a knowing look, standing and making me pout while cursing my brother for his big mouth.

“When my father called, I told him everything Ollie passed along, and he asked if you wouldn’t mind forwarding your box of blackmail to him. ”

Oh fuck.

I blink at him, a little thrown by the prospect of Drake Flynn musing about me and his son and my proclivity for blackmail.

“He would also like to pay you back personally even though I told him to fuck off and take it out of the money he has set aside for me.” I frown at the determination filling his face, knowing he won’t let this go anymore than he would me. “Now tell me how much.”

“It’s so stupid though.” I try one last time, not really having the fight in me to argue this right now but wanting to be clear. “It’s just sitting there, and it’s more than any one person needs, so it might as well be put to good—”

“Then let me put it back and you can use it to save all the pangolins your little heart desires one day,” he presses while caging me in again. “Let me take care of you, baby.” The desperation in his voice hits me hard and makes my mouth pop open before he softens it to add. “It helps keep me sane.”

His words have me immediately giving in, not wanting to become the same kind of poison to him that his mother is, “Okay.” I sigh, shoulders dropping with it before I mutter, “A little under three hundred.”

He pauses. “Grand?”

“Yeah,” I nod, watching him process for a second before some of the tension seems to leave him.

“All right.” He gives me a single nod before pushing the sweatpants hanging on his hips down, distracting me enough with the sight of him standing naked that I don’t think to add until he goes to snag me under the legs again.

“Oh.” The surprised noise has me quickly clearing my throat as he picks me back up, immediately heading for the tub and leaving me glancing up at him guiltily. “In the interest of full disclosure…there was also some jewelry.”

Because the second I leave something out, Ollie will probably feel the need to announce it at Christmas Eve tonight.

His eyes snap to mine right before he steps into the tub, gold flecks flaring with what looks a lot like anger as he echoes quietly. “Jewelry?”

“Hmm,” I murmur back as he starts to lower us down into the oversized tub and the water wraps around me like the heaven I knew it would be. He keeps me all tucked against him while leaning back fully to prop his legs up on the other side and uses a foot to shut the faucet off.

I drop my head against his chest, eyes slipping shut with a deep breath of relief escaping me.

Every muscle in my body loosens as the heat starts to sink in and things finally relax lower in me too.

The soreness easing enough that the sharp twinge that comes a second later has my breath hitching in surprise.

“Baby?” His arm shifts behind my back, and his fingers feather across my brow a second later, making me notice the scowl there.

“Just sore.” I crack my eyes, looking up at him through my lashes to grin. “Give me a couple of days, and I’ll be fine.”

“Fucking hell,” he mutters again, face tensing right back up. “First tell me how sore you are, and then tell me about the jewelry.”

“I’d rate it a five out of ten.” I yawn widely before joking, “Which makes sense considering that you that thoroughly deflowered me and I can be a bitch when it comes to pain.”

My attempt to lighten some of the broodiness coming off him earns me a little twitch of his dimples.

“Do you think you need a doctor?”

“No,” I snort softly. “I think everything I’m experiencing right now is entirely natural, unfortunately.

” The heat finally sinks into my muscles enough to offer some true relief and makes me think I definitely should have done this last night.

“As for the jewelry.” I sigh again while closing my eyes.

.. “Some vintage Tiffany earrings, a Cartier bracelet, and a pair of sapphire studs.”

His fingers drop from my face to my collarbone, tracing along it while pressing gently once more. “That’s it?”

I nod against his chest with another yawn, mumbling through it. “That’s it.”

“Okay.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head, fingers running down the center of my chest before coming back up to trace the other side of my collarbone. “And thank you.”

I feel myself start to drift then, exhaustion pulling at me hard and making my body sink further into him, leaving me yawning again and trying to fight it when his arms squeeze around me with a soft reprimand. “You need to sleep.”

“Christmas—” I try to protest.

“I’ll move us to the bed when the water starts to cool and wake you up in a few hours so you don’t miss anything.” He hushes me with another kiss to the top of my head. “Sleep, Freckles, I’ve got you.”

And I pass out with only a few more breaths like part of me was just waiting for that.