Page 45 of Sweet Vengeance (Sins of the Father #2)

Ollie

“I’m so angry with you,” I tell Cillian, still trying to wrap my head around what happened.

When I woke up alone in his bed, I was of course worried about him.

He’d been upset before we’d gone to bed, and I hadn’t wanted him to be alone.

Then I’d come downstairs and heard him telling his father he would leave his family, walk away from what I know is one hundred percent who Cillian is, and…

I realized how much I really don’t want that.

At least not for me. If that’s something he one day decides on his own, it would be a different story, but I know him, and if he told his father that tonight, it somehow had to do with me.

“I can tell. You said fuck, like, two times,” he tries to tease.

“This isn’t funny. I’m being serious. I can’t believe you were going to do that!

” I head straight for the stairs, heart beating hard and fast. I’m feeling too many emotions, too many to focus on one.

Anger, worry, fear. Because he’s right. I can’t believe I said those things and did those things to the leader of a freaking Mafia family… to my boyfriend’s dad.

I hurry upstairs, Cillian right behind me. It’s not often it’s hard for me to sort through my thoughts like this, not to know why I’m feeling so much.

“Why are we fighting?” Cillian asks, closing his bedroom door behind us.

“How do you not know why?” rushes out of my mouth.

“I get it, the why of what you were going to do, and I’m honored, Cillian, that you love me that much.

I’m so thankful you do. Still, this is our life.

We’re trying to make this work together, and sometimes I feel like you try to jump in and make all the decisions without me and for me. ”

“What are you talking about? You’re making all the sacrifices! You’re compromising who you are for me, accepting things you would never accept otherwise, and you’re doing it for me.”

“But I chose to do that!”

“And I chose to walk away from this life.”

Oh…well, he does have a point there. “It feels different,” I say ridiculously.

“But it’s not.”

“I don’t know, Cillian, but it’s not the same. I’ve chosen what I want, and that’s you, all of you, but you’re trying to change yourself for me. You’re trying to walk away from your family for me.”

“You accepted me murdering someone for you. How is what I do going to affect your dream of being a lawyer? How am I changing your concept of right and wrong?”

“Maybe that’s a good thing. I see the world differently now. I’m still following my dream. I’m helping people. The world isn’t as strict as I always wanted it to be. You helped me see that, and maybe it’s not a good thing to you, but it is to me.”

“Maybe I see the world differently now too.” He shrugs.

“You don’t. Come on, baby. You know that.

This is who you are, and I would never ask you to change.

You’re not asking me to change…I simply have in some ways.

Not all. Believe me, I’ll tell you when I think you’re going too far.

But I would never ask you to walk away from your life, from your family.

It would kill you to lose them, and I think…

I think it would kill me too. I’ve never been a part of something like this before.

I have my dad, and I used to have my mom, yes, but the love we have now, the friendships, the brotherhood…

Rory…” I close my eyes, try to gather myself.

I never had friends before them, these kinds of bonds and deep connections.

Doing homework with Rory runs through my head, joking with Tiernan about the mini mob, bonding with Aislin, Dean checking in on me and sharing meals with me, the little ways he tries to deepen our friendship.

Hell, even the discussion with Conan tonight.

“They mean something to me too. They’re my family as well, and I want…

I want to be a part of them in my own, much safer, non-murdery way. ”

He gives me a small chuckle, then sobers. “I don’t want you to do it all for me. I want you to know I would make sacrifices for you too.”

“Do you think I don’t know that? Because I do. Jesus, Cillian. There’s no doubt in my mind that I could ask you to do anything for me and you would. But I don’t want you to do this unless it’s truly what you want.” And we both know it’s not.

“Your father—”

“Isn’t in a relationship with you.”

“What if you lose him because of me?”

“I never would. He would never do that.” I walk over to him, wrap my arms around his waist. “Can we make more decisions together, please? Can we talk about them?”

“What if they’re things you don’t want to hear about? You told me you don’t want to know what I do, but then you’re coming up with ideas to more efficiently launder money.”

I grin. “It was kind of fun.”

“Who needs to be serious now?”

I nod. He’s right. “I don’t have all the answers.

I can see I’ve been a little confusing in how I’ve responded to things.

All I know is I’m figuring this out as we go along.

We’ll both have to. We’ll both make mistakes, and we’ll change our minds about things.

We just have to be in it together. Are you in it with me? ”

Cillian wraps his arms around me too, drops his forehead against mine. “I feel like I should be the one asking you that, but yes, I’m in everything with you. There’s nowhere I wouldn’t follow you. There’s no going back for me.”

“There’s no going back for me either.” We have that in common, and in some ways, it’s the same as my parents were when it came to each other, the same way Cillian’s were as well. “Rian and Moira made it work, and we will too.”

“I like the sound of that.” He presses his lips to mine, so very sweetly.

The frustration and worry from earlier melt away, turning to desire…

to need. I clutch at Cillian’s shirt, fist it in my hands, just touching him somehow steadying me.

“Show me. Show me I’m yours. Show me how much you want me.

I need it, Cillian. I need you to remind me we’re okay and always will be. Remind me I belong to you.”

“I need it too. Need you.” Cillian rips my shirt off, then does the same to his own.

When he pulls me close again, this time he lifts me, my legs wrapping around his waist, and he carries me to the bed.

He lies down on top of me, the two of us rutting together as our mouths battle and our tongues tangle together.

My hands run up and down his back, nails scratching as I go, and all it does is make him kiss me harder, thrust against me more.

“My dirty boy needs dick, doesn’t he?”

“Yes,” I admit. “Your dick.”

“Fuck, I need to be connected to you too.” He pulls off me and stands, and I immediately miss the contact.

Cillian frantically works us both out of our clothes and grabs the lube he’d used earlier to jerk off. I pull him to me, crawling backward so we can kiss while we move up on the bed. Once my head hits the pillows, I’m looking up at him, Cillian down at me with what I swear is awe.

“I’m not sure what I did to deserve you, but I’m going to fucking treasure you. I won’t make you regret it—not any of it. We’re going to have the best fucking life.”

“We will, and I’ll never regret it.” That’s not how love works for us.

We’re too deep and in tune. From the start I felt a connection to him that never made sense, but the truth is, it doesn’t have to be explainable, it doesn’t have to follow the rules.

It’s just us, and we’re true and pure and real.

We kiss again, his tongue invading my mouth in the most perfect way. My fingers tangle in the brown locks of his hair, Cillian working one slick finger into my hole. I arch toward him, spread my legs wider, need more, and he gives it to me, one quickly becoming two, then three.

I’m frantic with need for him, delirious in my want.

“Just fuck me. I need your cock so bad. I’m dying for it, baby.

Please just give it to me.” I don’t know what it is about begging for him, about telling him what I want without fear or embarrassment, that makes me feel so strong, that makes me feel powerful, confident, and proud, but it does, and I plan to hold on to that, to keep filling myself up with it, and I know it fills him up too.

“I got you. I’ll always give you what you need.

” He kisses the tip of my nose, then pulls his fingers out.

I shake beneath him, watching Cillian as he slicks his cock with lube.

He lies beside me, turning me so my back is to him.

He lifts my left leg, then grabs his cock and presses it against my rim.

“I’ll give you all the cock you need, all my cock, all day every day if you need it.

I’ll keep you filled with me, and the times it can’t be my dick, my cum will be inside you, my dirty boy. ”

“Yes. God yes.” My eyes sting, this moment, every moment with him more intense than the last.

Cillian pushes inside me, soothing an ache I only have for him, that only he can cure. I turn my head, seek out his mouth, which Cillian gives to me. We kiss as he keeps working his way in and then breathe into each other’s mouths when he can’t go any deeper.

“Fuck me,” I say against his lips, realizing how much I really do use that word when it comes to this, when it comes to sex with him.

Cillian pulls back and thrusts forward again, taking me hard and fast, holding me to him, devouring my mouth as he pistons into my hole.

It’s the best feeling, everything good in the world.

No matter how much I try, I won’t last long.

Cillian wraps a hand around my dick, stroking, fucking and kissing, all the sensations creating the perfect storm inside me.

“The way you love me,” he says softly in my ear. “The way you give yourself to me. The way you protect me and defend me. You’re so fucking brave. I know you don’t see it, but you are. You’re braver than me, stronger than me. How are you not afraid of anything?”

I can’t imagine a world where someone would see me that way, but I know Cillian is being honest and that he does.

He slows his pumps, like he’s trying to draw out the pleasure. “There are so many times when you should run, but you don’t…you stay. I challenge the way you’ve always thought, who you are. Why do you stay?”

“You’ve set me free, Cillian. You’ve opened up my world. You’ve shown me that vengeance can be sweet, and that good and bad can coexist.”

“Fuck,” he grits out, then quickens the pace, taking me hard and fast again.

My vision blurs, and as wild as it sounds, it’s like I’m transcending to a different place, a world where only Cillian and I exist. My orgasm already teases at my full balls, a tingling spreading out from the base of my spine.

My head drops back on his shoulder, my body bowing off Cillian in ecstasy.

“I’m going to come. Oh God, I’m already going to come.

” I hardly get the words out before my body splinters apart in pleasure.

I’m spiraling into this world where it’s all the pleasure that Cillian gives me, the hot splash of my cum painting my abs and chest.

“Fuck…me too. Gonna give you my load. Gonna breed you.”

Cillian’s dick spasms inside me, doing exactly as he promised, giving himself to me, filling me with him, the way we both crave.

I feel high, or at least, what I assume being high feels like, as though I’m floating with Cillian and only he can bring me back to earth again.

He stays inside me until he can’t anymore, until his cock softens and slips out, holding me, kissing my cheek, my forehead, my temple, touching me with hands that can be so rough with other people, but will only be gentle with me.

It takes us a long while before we speak. We just lie there, sweaty, cummy limbs entangled.

“We’ll prove wrong anyone who doubts us,” I finally say.

“The way only we can,” Cillian agrees.

It won’t always be easy, and we won’t always get it right on the first try, but we’re in this together, Cillian and me. The family he’s given me in Rory, Dean, Tiernan, and Aislin. Nothing can stop us.