Page 33 of Sweet Vengeance (Sins of the Father #2)

Ollie

“Bunny, I fucking hate school. This is boring, stupid, and I want to be done,” Rory says from his spot beside me at the kitchen table. Cillian is on the other side of me, laptops and schoolbooks out in front of us.

“We’ve literally been studying for only twenty minutes.” This is something the three of us have been doing together the past few weeks.

“Here.” Cillian pulls a fidget spinner out of his pocket and hands it to Rory, who immediately starts playing with it.

“How long do we have to do this?” Rory asks.

“Why are you acting like this is the first time?” Cillian asks him. “He’s not gonna give in, and the more you argue, the longer we’ll be stuck here.”

“Oh my God. Your boyfriend is the worst, Cil. Why does this shit matter anyway?”

“Because you should have options,” I interrupt.

“And because it might feel good to have a degree, even if you don’t use it.

And because I don’t think either of you have had any structure in your lives, no one telling you this stuff is important, and maybe if you had, you would enjoy it.

And maybe you won’t, but you should at least try.

You’ve been given a really incredible opportunity to go to school.

I don’t want either of you to regret not taking it seriously.

” My voice gets louder the longer I speak, and when I’m done rambling, they’re both staring at me.

Embarrassment makes the tips of my ears burn.

“What?” I finally ask, when neither speaks.

Cillian is still looking at me, but Rory turns to Cillian.

“Aww. He’s so sweet, Cil!” Rory beams.

“I thought I was the worst?” I argue.

“Well, that too, but in a sweet way.”

“I know,” Cillian chimes in. “Now I’m all boned up.”

I gasp. “Over what?”

“You. That was hot. You like…want to take care of us.”

“I mean, it wouldn’t take much for me to get it up too,” Rory says, going for his jeans. “You two want to jerk off and I’ll watch?”

I drop my head back. “Sweet Jesus.” Cillian has jacked me off one other time in front of Rory, but that’s it.

That time it was in the living room, when no one else was home.

Dean and Tiernan came back right afterward, and I was so embarrassed, I thought my head would explode. “We’re not jacking off.”

“Well, what about me? Can I jerk off?” Rory pleads.

What am I going to do with them? “You can do whatever you want after we finish doing homework. You have all night after I go to work, but right now, no one is leaving their seat, and no one is pulling their dicks out!”

The room is quiet for a moment before the two of them burst into laughter. I try not to join in, but it’s impossible not to.

When we finally settle down, Cillian snaps his fingers to get Rory’s attention. “For real, though. He’s right. Do your shit, and we need to make sure we’re not distracting Ollie. It’s important to him, and I don’t want to fuck shit up for him.”

“Ugh. Fine. Whatever,” Rory grumbles, but I can’t pull my attention from Cillian…from my boyfriend. From the man I’m in love with.

“What?” he asks, like I’d done just a moment ago.

“That was sweet too, and now I’m a little turned on.”

Cillian grins. “Nope. You have homework to do. You’ve worked hard to get where you are. I’m not going to be a distraction for you.”

“Wait,” Rory says. “So you just have to like, say sweet things to get a sexy boyfriend who wants to fuck all the time? Maybe I should try that…but then I’d have to have a boyfriend…or a girlfriend…”

“I don’t want to fuck all the time!” I shout.

“Ollie said a bad word,” Cillian teases, then adds, “I don’t know what it takes to get anyone else, and I don’t want to know. I already have what’s mine.”

Aaaaand now I’m getting hard. Why is it so difficult to be around him without wanting to touch him all the time and just…be held by him. I love that just as much.

“I love you,” I say.

“I love you too.”

Rory sighs. “Are you guys gonna have sex, and if so, can I play video games now?”

“No,” I tell him. “We’re going to get to work.”

They mumble their annoyance under their breath but do as I say.

I only keep them studying for another hour. I work tonight, and though Cillian has eased up on his worry and follows my wishes when it comes to me going back and forth to school and classes without him following me around, he still drives me to work and picks me up.

The more he relaxes, the less stress I feel about everything too. Those guys probably only took my ID to scare me. What would be the purpose of coming back for me now? Or maybe they did and realized I’m with Cillian, so they know I’m untouchable.

The thought should disgust me, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it sends pleasure shooting through me. Not only to matter to Cillian that much, but also to feel strong, for someone not to look at me and feel like they can take advantage of me.

I’m not sure what that says about me, so it’s something else I don’t think about.

There are still moments when my fear is stronger than the points I try to make about those guys not coming for me.

We were slow at the restaurant one night, and they let me off early.

I called Cillian to pick me up, then went to wait outside.

Every little noise had me jumping out of my skin, my brain telling me they were there, watching me.

Waiting. I felt like crap that I’d hardly lasted five minutes before going back inside. Shouldn’t I be over this by now…?

The second I say they can be done with homework, Rory takes off, leaving all his stuff on the table.

“Fucker!” Cillian calls after him, then packs Rory’s things away in his bag, before grabbing his own. “Do I get to go upstairs and watch you get ready for work?”

“Don’t you always watch me?”

“Yes. I like looking at what’s mine.” His voice lowers, making pleasure skitter down my spine.

I love it when Cillian talks to me that way, love it when he looks at me with naked want so intense, I nearly drown in it.

There’s something so fulfilling, so uplifting about being wanted by him—and not in the same way he’s wanted other people.

No, I’m loved by Cillian O’Shea, and it is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

“What?” He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close. “Wishing you had more time for school? If we’re distracting you, I’ll make sure everyone here leaves you the fuck alone whenever you need.”

“No. For the first time in my life, it’s not school I’m wishing I had more time for.”

“That’s fucking sweet.” He kisses me. “And hot.” Another kiss. “But school is your dream. Don’t ever lose sight of that for me.” He gets a wicked grin on his face, and I know the conversation is about to change from serious to playful. “You never know, one day I might need a good lawyer.”

“I’m not thinking that way.”

We actually have more time than I’d originally thought, so we could very well discuss this, only the second we get to Cillian’s room, his phone rings.

“Fuck,” he says, then answers it. “What’s up.”

I can’t hear the person on the other end of the call, but there’s no doubt in my mind it’s Tiernan.

“Can’t Rory do it?” He paces the room. “No, no. Okay. I’m good.” He looks at me. “I need Aislin to bring Ollie to work.”

“I can get myself to work just fine, thank you very much.” I head straight for the bathroom, and there’s maybe a little stomping.

“Text Ash. Tell her to be here in like forty-five minutes.” He ends the call and follows me. “You’re not walking.”

“Um, I’ll walk if I want to walk.” I don’t, of course, but screw him for thinking he can tell me what to do.

He pinches his nose. “You can take my car.”

“I’m not driving your car. It costs more money than I’ve ever seen.”

“Then let me buy you one.”

“You’re not buying me a car, Cillian! Don’t you see I don’t want to need you—not in that way, at least. I want you, yes, but I don’t want to be with you for the stuff you can give me!

And you take care of everyone else all the time!

The second Tieman calls, you come running—and it’s always you he calls first. You’re always looking after Rory and making sure he’s taking care of himself.

I don’t want to just be another responsibility to you, and I also don’t want you to think I can’t handle myself! ”

He sighs, then throws his arms up. “This is who I am. That’s not going to change. You know that. I’ll always make sure Rory is taken care of, and I’ll always be there for Tiernan.”

“I know that. It’s part of why I love you, but can’t you see that I just want to give to you as much as you give to everyone else? I want to make your life easier, not harder.” He opens his mouth, and I add, “Without you buying me a car.” It’s not the first time we’ve had this discussion.

“Can’t you see that you do? You’re the only thing in my life I’ve ever chosen. I want to do this shit for you for completely selfish reasons. I need to do everything I can to keep you.”

Blood rushes through my ears, pulse pounding. This man and his insanely big heart that’s more bruised and battered than he will ever see. “I’m not going anywhere. Not ever if you don’t make me.”

Cillian slips his finger into my belt loop and tugs me closer, arms around me, face in my neck. “This life will always be dangerous for you because of me. Sometimes I’m going to push things, and it’s not to be an asshole; it’s because I care about you.”

He’s right. I know he is. If someone has a grudge against him, all they have to do is see us together, and I can be used against him. I understand that, even if I don’t like it. “Aislin can take me to work.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry it’s like this.” He nibbles my neck. “I wish I had time to fuck you, but I have to go.”

I nod, a pit growing in my stomach. “Okay. Be careful.”

“It’s fine. Nothing you need to stress about too much, okay?” He kisses my temple, and then he’s gone.

The first thing I do is grab my cell phone and call my dad.

I’m not sure why… No, I am. I need someone to talk to about this.

Someone who’s not Dean or Aislin, even if I can’t give him all the details.

It’s eating me alive not to tell him I have a boyfriend…

that I’m in love. I want to share Cillian with him.

My dad answers just as I’m lying down on Cillian’s bed.

“Hey, Ol. You’re working soon, right?”

“Yeah, I do. I just…wanted to talk to you.”

His voice holds a tentative note when he asks, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Or as okay as it can be, considering the situation.

I’m not scaring him with all that, though.

I’m healed, and the guys who jumped me haven’t been arrested but they haven’t bothered me either.

Why frighten him? “I actually have something good I wanted to share with you…something I’ve been keeping from you. ”

“You mean the fact that you’re seeing someone?” he asks, amusement in his tone.

I’m not going to lie, my chest gets tight. “How do you…”

“Lucky guess, is all. You’ve sounded different these past couple of weeks, happier. I recognize the sound of falling in love. Even all these years later, I remember it well.”

Emotion clogs my throat, and I know we’re both thinking of Mom. God, I miss her, love her. I wish Cillian could have met her. “I’m sorry.”

“What? You have no reason to be sorry. It’s nice to remember, and it’s nice to hear the happiness in your voice. Tell me about him.”

So I do. I tell Dad his name and how close he is to his family.

That his cousins are his best friends, and he has another friend who’s like a brother to him, and how Cillian would do anything for them.

I share that he lost his mom too and hasn’t played piano since she passed away, and that I want him to find his music again.

I tell him Cillian likes to laugh, is a caretaker, and a hard worker, all of which is true.

“He sounds like a good boy,” my dad says when I’m done.

My answer comes out quick and honest, “He is, but…he’s different.”

“What do you mean?”

“Different from who you would expect for me. He was raised in a way I don’t understand. He’s made a lot of mistakes in his life.”

“I don’t think that sounds different from whom I would expect you to fall in love with at all.

You have a big heart, Ollie. You see deeply into people, more deeply than others take the time to look.

You don’t judge them. Sometimes you think you do, but I’m telling you, you don’t.

Not when it matters. You see the good in people, and you help them see it too, just like your mom did.

She was always looking out for the underdog, and you’ve always done the same. ”

Have I? It didn’t feel like it. And it’s not that I would consider Cillian an underdog in the traditional sense of the word, but in some ways, he is. Cillian’s destiny was decided for him by his father, and by his father’s father, and now he’s doing the best he can.

“Is he good to you?” my dad asks.

“Yes. Very much.”

“Do you trust him?”

“With my life.”

“He loves you too?”

“He does. And that’s a big deal for him. He didn’t want that. He was afraid of it because of what it did to him and his dad when they lost his mom.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but he picked the right boy to risk his heart. Those things I just asked you, those are the questions that matter. Everything else can be dealt with. If your mama was here, there’s not a damn obstacle in this world I would let stand between us.”

My eyes pool with tears, a few escaping, running down my face.

I wipe them away. This is exactly why I called him.

It’s exactly what I needed to hear. Maybe his answer would be different if he knew the truth about who Cillian is, but maybe it wouldn’t.

To me, what matters is who he is beneath all the other stuff. “Thank you, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ollie. Now send me a photo with you and that boy of yours. I’d love to meet him.”

Would Cillian be willing to go home for Christmas with me? Is that something he’s even able to do?

Everything else can be dealt with, I remind myself. “Hopefully soon,” I say. I’ll ask Cillian later, and if there’s any way he can make it happen, I know he will. For me.