Page 22 of Sweet Vengeance (Sins of the Father #2)

Cillian

When I wake up in the morning, Ollie isn’t in bed with me.

The bathroom door is closed, so I figure he’s in there.

Last night was fucking intense. I’ve had a lot of sex and started having it at a young age, but I’ve never experienced anything like what I shared with him.

It was like…fuck. Like Ollie was showing me a part of himself no one had ever seen—hell, maybe that Ollie hadn’t even known was there.

Yet something about me drew it out of him.

I’ve spent most of my life feeling powerful, but nothing has given me as much as watching the way he worshipped me, the way he craved me, the way he wanted to be between my legs to sleep with me.

Because I bring him comfort? I’m not sure anyone has ever thought that about me.

Some might argue their case about Tiernan, Rory, and Aislin, but that’s different.

They’re from my world, which, right or wrong, changes things in my head.

Not that I think Ollie needs me. He’s stronger than he probably knows.

If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have run toward those men that night.

But he wants me in a way I’m unfamiliar with.

Not because of my name, or who my father or cousin is, but because of me.

The door to the bathroom opens, and Ollie steps out. He’s already dressed, his hair wet from a shower, so clearly, he’s been up for a while.

He spots me naked on the bed, blushes, then his gaze darts away. “Can you like…cover up or something?” He waves his hand at me, and I laugh.

“Why? You saw all of me last night.” I don’t call him on the cock-warming thing because I don’t want him to feel insecure about that. I fucking loved it.

“That was different.” He lifts his arm, almost knocks his glasses off, then runs a hand through his wet hair, looking frazzled. It’s cute, but also not what I want for him. I want him to have loved what we did as much as me.

“Hey.” I get up, tug on my underwear, and walk over to him. Ollie sighs as I hook my finger beneath his chin and tilt his head up. “Don’t feel weird about what we did last night.”

“Don’t you feel weird about what we did? You’ve never even been with a guy before! How are you this calm?”

I shrug. “It’s just how I operate. There’s always been a chance I’m queer, and now I know. I don’t give a shit about the other stuff, just what I want. And I want you.”

He swallows, his throat moving when he does. “What I did was weird.”

“That’s society talking, not you. What you did was hot. I’ve never been so turned on.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“It’s true. I’m gonna keep you, Kitten, for as long as I can.” Not for good. Never for good, but for a while, yes. I deserve this. I deserve him.

He makes a strangled sound, then drops his head to my shoulder. “You’re so confusing. I don’t understand why I’m like this with you. It’s like I don’t know who I am.”

“You do. You’ve always known. You’re just more than one thing.”

He gasps, then straightens.

“What?” I ask him.

“Nothing. It’s just…I thought something similar, but I keep trying to talk myself out of what I’m doing.”

“Don’t. And come home with me tonight. If not, I’m gonna end up staying here, which means I’ll be getting in a fight with Tiernan. I don’t want to do that, but I will.”

“That’s not my choice, though…it’s yours. You can’t put that on me.”

No, no I can’t, and I actually kinda love that he calls me on my shit. “I’m hoping you’ll do it anyway.” I lean down, rub my cheek against his. “I want you in my bed, dirty boy. I’m not done with you yet.”

Ollie gulps, and I know I have him.

“You don’t play fair.”

“No. I play to win. Always.”

“I don’t doubt that. And fine, whatever.

I’ll stay with you, but I think you’re overreacting.

And I’ll only do it if you don’t follow me around campus.

No one is going to do something to me in the middle of the day, surrounded by hundreds of people at all times.

They probably already forgot about me.” There’s a slight tremble to his voice he’s clearly trying to hide.

Ollie is nervous, as he should be, but he doesn’t want to be.

He doesn’t want to have to depend on anyone, and I respect that.

And if the guys after him are smart, they will forget about him, but I guess it doesn’t matter. They’ll die regardless.

“Fine,” I reply. See? I can compromise. “Put my number in your phone. If anyone so much as sneezes wrong in your direction, you call me.”

Ollie rolls his eyes.

“I’m serious. It’s that or I follow you.” Though I really should make it to some of my classes.

He plucks his cell off the table and types my number in as I read it to him.

“Text me.”

“You’re so bossy.”

“Eh. It gets your dick hard.”

He blushes cutely, and I feel the urge to grab him and kiss him.

Kissing isn’t something I usually avoid doing.

It’s just a thing that leads to fucking, part of the process, but for some reason, I didn’t kiss Ollie last night and I’m hesitant to do it today.

Right now, the reason should be because we’re not about to fuck.

What excuse do I have to kiss him if that’s not the case?

Because I want to, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

“Hey…this…what we’re doing, you coming to stay with me, you know it’s just about sex and keeping you safe, right?”

His pupils flare slightly, but I can’t tell what he’s thinking or feeling. Anger? Confusion? Something else?

“I could tell you the same thing…well, other than the keeping-you-safe part. It’s just about sex for me too. We’re not compatible for anything more than that.”

His words feel sharp against my skin, making anger burst inside me. Not at him, no. At myself. Because it shouldn’t fucking matter that he’s saying the exact same thing I am. “Good. Just making sure. I’m gonna go clean up. I have shit to do.”

I turn and walk over to my duffel bag, and without looking at him again, I disappear behind the closed bathroom door, immediately reaching for my phone.

Me: Ollie is on his own today. Help me keep an eye on him?

Rory: I’m assuming he’s not supposed to know?

Me: Definitely not.

Rory: I’m down. Whatever you need. You go to your first class. You need to be there for that shit. We’ll swap later.

Me: Thanks, Ror.

And maybe I should feel bad about lying to Ollie about yet another thing, but I’m not going to feel guilty about protecting him.

I take a quick shower, hating the fact that I’m washing our sex off my skin, then get dressed and check in with Tiernan to let him know what’s going on.

There’s nothing pressing I need to do, so I head to my class, only half paying attention to my finance professor while exchanging messages with Conan and Rory.

We need to figure out when and how would be best to deal with those car-thief motherfuckers, not just because of what they did to Ollie, but because they don’t fucking belong here. They can steal cars and run their petty operation somewhere else.

I’m not out of class two minutes when I get a call. I expect it to be Tiernan, Rory, or Conan, but my heart kicks up when I see my dad’s name on the screen. “What’s wrong?” I say instead of hello.

“Nothing’s wrong. I hear you have a side project going on over there.”

I groan, then head over to a picnic table to sit down. My dad knowing is different from what would have happened had Sloan found out about our murderous extracurriculars last year, but it’s still less than ideal. I don’t want to do this with his help. I don’t want to do anything with his help.

“It’s under control.”

“With my men. Conan has been helping.”

I grit my teeth, trying to get my temper under control. “He’s Tiernan’s man too, or did you forget?”

“I didn’t forget anything, and you should watch your tone with me. I know you have your…feelings about me, but I’m still the boss of this family.”

The boss of the family. He doesn’t say he’s still my father.

“If you tell me I can’t do it, I’m doing it anyway. I don’t care about the consequences.”

My father sighs. “I’m not saying you can’t, but you need to remember that I am the boss, and I expect you to tell me what’s going on.”

I could always tell him that I told Tiernan, but I’m not dragging my cousin under the bus with me. We all know Tiernan has a lot of pull, but he is the second. Tiernan will support me no matter what, but the last thing I want is to cause upheaval between him and my father.

“Why do you care?” I ask instead. “Shit like this goes down all the time. They don’t need to be running their operation close to us anyway. This is business.”

“I care because what happens to everyone in this family is my responsibility.”

Ah, so that’s what this is about.

“Don’t worry. I won’t make you look bad.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Jesus, Cillian. I just…” He trails off.

“Just what?” I ask, with hope I thought I’d killed a long time ago.

“Who is this boy? What is he to you?”

My hands shake, which only pisses me off more. I’m angry at him, at myself, at the whole fucking world. “He’s no one you need to worry about.”

“Anyone who has something to do with you is someone I need to worry about.”

Not because I’m his son, but because of our organization. It bears repeating because clearly, I’m still hoping for something more. “He’s a person no one is allowed to touch.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m giving you a lot of leeway right now, but don’t test me, son.”

“Son?” bursts out of my mouth. “Fuck you. You have no right to call me that. Ollie is mine. That’s all that matters.

We’ll let you know what’s going on here if that’s what you want, but business only.

My personal life and anyone who is mine has nothing to do with you.

You are no one to me.” I end the call, shove off the table, walk over to a bush-lined brick building, and puke up everything in my stomach.

Even when it’s empty, the cramping and gagging don’t stop.

I have no idea why that phone call is affecting me this way, why it feels like I’m being turned inside out.

Fuck him. He hasn’t been a father to me. He doesn’t get to pretend he gives a fuck about me now.