Page 13 of Sweet Vengeance (Sins of the Father #2)

Cillian

Tiernan wasn’t keen on the idea of Ollie staying with us, but he disliked even more the thought of me being gone to stay with Ollie.

We’re used to being together. If something happens to one of us, we always have the others there to have our backs.

Me being away when there’s a chance some assholes will come after Ollie wasn’t an easy sell to my cousin, but when I told him I was going no matter what, all he did was groan and rub his temples, which he’s been doing much more of lately, then told me he would give me one week.

Ollie’s quiet as we make the quick drive from our place to campus. I drop him off in front of his dorm, wait until he gets inside, then drive to the student parking garage before making my way back to his place. It’s a fucking hike, and I don’t want him to have to do it in the state he’s in.

When I get to his end unit, the door is ajar, and my eyes roll so hard, they nearly fall out of my head.

“People might be after you, and you’re leaving your door open.”

His expression tells me he hadn’t considered that. “I knew you were right behind me,” he lies, as if he’d weighed the pros and cons, though we both know he didn’t.

“Yes, and you could have been dead when I got here.” I set my bag on the chair. He’s sitting at his desk, with his laptop and books in front of him. “You’re not supposed to be looking at screens or reading.”

“I have work to do, Cillian.”

“You have a brain to heal, Kitten.” I close his laptop.

“You’re so bossy.”

I just shrug because it’s true, then look around the space. It’s big by dorm standards but small by mine. It’s going to be interesting sharing this room with him. Hopefully we get shit figured out by then and we can go our separate ways, but if not, I need to get him home with me.

“God, I hate this. That one stupid decision is messing up everything. I wish I never stopped to help that guy.”

“You’re alive, and you have a hot guy staying with you. What’s to complain about?”

“How do you even know I’m into guys?” he asks, one eye still swollen shut, and I notice he has another pair of glasses on, these with a thick, black, circular rim.

I step closer, feel the heat of his body radiating off him to mine.

Ollie looks up at me from his seat, his pulse beating erratically.

“This…right here. Remember?” I brush my thumb over it, and just touching him makes blood head toward my dick.

“Maybe you’re not into other guys, but you’re into me. ”

“Whatever. It’s not you. I’m gay,” he sputters, then groans as if he wished he hadn’t admitted that.

I laugh. “Great. So you’re gay and want to fuck me. We probably shouldn’t tonight. We have to wait forty-eight hours, since your blood pressure will certainly be going up…and we’ll have to work around the rib thing.”

“I didn’t… I’m not… I never said I wanted to have sex with you. You’re so annoying.” He stands and pushes his way around me. I grab his wrist, holding it softly so he can’t get far.

“I’m giving you shit. I mean, I want to fuck you. I hope to fuck you, but though my dick is hard as stone right now, you’re clearly not ready for that.”

“Wait. It is?” He looks down. “I mean, you’re so gross.”

“Sex isn’t gross, Kitten. Well, let me rephrase: it isn’t gross to me. It’s okay if it is for some people. Lie down. We need to ice your ribs.”

It’s so strange, this game we’re playing.

Usually if I want to hook up with someone, I see if they’re down, and if they are, we do it, and if they aren’t, I find someone else.

But the people I mess around with normally aren’t like Ollie.

They’re women looking for a quick fuck, just like I am.

It doesn’t take a lot to see he’s not that kind of guy, so I’m not even sure if having sex with him is a good idea at all.

But I want him. Want him so bad, I can’t even see straight when I’m around him.

“I’m only agreeing to do the icing now because it’s time and I need to heal as fast as possible. It’s not about you, and I can do it myself.”

I step out of the way as Ollie walks over to the bed. He’s moving slower than he had been a little while ago. When I glance at the time, I realize he can have one of the pain pills they gave him.

“Where are your meds? It’s been exactly four hours, so you’re good for your next dose.”

He pauses, turns and looks at me, cocking a brow. “You remember what time I had my medication last?”

“Well, I’m not an idiot, and I have been able to tell time since I was like five, so yes.”

He gives me a frustrated look, which oddly draws my attention to his bruised eye. It’s been there since yesterday, obviously, but when I take the time to notice it, every time it makes me feel like steam is billowing out of my pores.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing.”

Ollie takes the pill bottle out of his pocket. I walk over to the mini fridge and grab a bottle of water. He takes the meds, then sits on the side of the bed.

“Crap. I need ice.”

“I thought you were doing this by yourself?” I cock a brow at him.

“I am.” He’s all pouty and grumbly as he tries to stand. I can’t help but laugh.

“Sit down. I’m teasing you. Do you have ice packs?”

He shakes his head. “There are baggies in the cabinet and ice cubes in the freezer.”

I nod. There are only three cabinets, so not a lot of spaces to check. I grab one, then use the one and only ice-cube tray he has, refilling it for later.

“Okay. Let’s get you out of this shirt.”

“Why do I need to take my shirt off?” he asks too quickly for my liking.

“You don’t have to, but it would be easier. Hey, you know I would never do anything you don’t want me to do, right? I might do a lot of bad shit, but someone forcing themselves on another person makes me sick.” Does Ollie think that badly of me? Or did someone else hurt him?

“I know. I’m not. That’s not it. I’m just…never mind.” He starts to pull at his shirt, but then makes a little gasping sound. “Can’t move that direction.”

“Here, let me help.” I set the ice on the side table.

He closes his eye but doesn’t argue with me.

I help Ollie lift his arms, then pull his T-shirt over his head.

He’s a lot smaller than me. Doesn’t have the same muscle mass, naturally thinner.

His whole torso is splotched with purple bruises—and not the sexy kind Tiernan and Dean put all over each other with their mouths.

The steam is back, this time my body feeling like a pressure cooker seconds away from exploding.

“I’m going to fucking kill them.”

Ollie gasps, his eye jerking open. “What? No! You can’t do that…do you really…do that?” he asks, the last words spoken softer, almost unintelligible.

This is where things get tricky and why we don’t typically let people into our lives.

Not our real lives, at least. We’re all so close because we’re the only people we can trust, but Ollie also deserves to know who will be sleeping in this room with him.

It’s one thing if he doesn’t ask, but he did, and I don’t want to lie to him. “I do what I have to do.”

“That’s a bullshit answer,” he says, with more grit to his voice than he had a moment ago. This might be the first time I’ve heard him curse. “You don’t have to hurt people.”

“How do you know?”

“You always have a choice. You decided to be in this lifestyle, so you made the choice to do what you do.”

“Jesus.” I run a hand through my hair. I should walk out this door right now, walk away and never come back.

“Don’t talk about shit you don’t understand.

There was no choice. Not really. That’s not how this works.

This is all I fucking know, Kitten. My choice was made for me when I was born to my father.

This isn’t a fucking movie or a book. This is real life.

” What the hell would I even do with myself if I didn’t do this?

And the honest truth is, I don’t want to. Do I love all the things I do? No. Do I know it makes me a bad person? That I’m going to hell for it? That I don’t deserve to be here with someone like him? I know all that, but this is also who I am. It’s who I want to be. I’ve made peace with that.

“You can change.”

I shrug because maybe I could but I’m not.

“Don’t kill them…the people who hurt me. Promise me you won’t kill them.”

This is the moment where I can either tell him I won’t and lie, or I can tell him that’s not a promise I can make and be kicked out.

If I do that, though, who will protect him?

Who will make sure he’s safe until we can get rid of the threat?

“It was a figure of speech. I don’t even know who they are. ”

“Promise me,” he says again. “I can’t… I don’t know how to live with that.”

“They would have killed you. The mercy you have for them isn’t something they would ever have for you. They would have killed you and that old man both and not thought twice about it.”

He trembles, looks away, his good eye filling with tears. Maybe I could have found a softer way to tell him, but that’s not how I roll. He needs to understand that there’s a real possibility he’s in danger. Even if not from them, there are a lot of bad fucking people in this world.

“I’m not stupid. I know you think I am, but I’m not. I get that they would kill me, but that doesn’t mean I should be okay with killing them.”

I could tell him he’d be doing people a favor. That by keeping them alive, he’s risking them hurting others, but I don’t want to put that pain on him. Ollie is just too fucking good. How many people wouldn’t want those who harmed them to die?

“I promise. I won’t kill them.” It’s better this way, better that he doesn’t have this on his conscience. They will die, and he and others will be safe from them, and he can go on living his life.

“You shouldn’t tell me these things, you know. It’s dangerous.”

“What, now you want to protect me?” I chuckle, but like everything about him, there’s a sweetness to it. He hates what I do but wants me to be safe while doing it.

“I’m serious. What if I went to the authorities?”

I shrug. “You won’t.”

“How do you know? I’m going to be a lawyer, Cillian. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“You won’t.” I’m not sure how I know that, but I do. And if I’m wrong, I know what would have to be done. Ollie would have to die, and I’d be the one to do it.