Page 14 of Sweet Vengeance (Sins of the Father #2)

Ollie

Cillian kills people.

I knew that. Obviously, I did, but it’s different to know something than it is to hear them admit it to you.

He’s killed people, and yet he’s in my dorm room…and I’m not telling him to leave.

“What are you doing?” I ask when Cillian kneels.

“Taking your shoes off so you can lie down.”

“I can take my own shoes off.” Maybe. It probably wouldn’t feel great to bend over that way, but this situation is so far out of my wheelhouse, I’m just going to continue saying random things.

“Do you realize how many people would love to see me like this? I’ve never taken another person’s shoes off, Ollie. Shut up and enjoy it.”

Well…when he puts it like that.

I watch him as he unties my left shoe, then pulls it off.

I think about what he said to me a little while ago, when he talked about not pushing me to do anything I wouldn’t want to do.

It’s clear that’s a hard line for him, but murder isn’t.

The thing is, I want Cillian. He’s probably the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life.

I’d love to get on my knees for him, to taste him.

I don’t have a lot of sexual experience, but I know how to blow a guy, and I really enjoy it.

I’m still stuck on him wanting me. It’s why I felt weird taking my shirt off in front of him. I’m skinny. I don’t lift weights or anything like that. I’m sure I don’t look like the other people Cillian gets naked with.

He removes my second shoe, and honestly, my head is splitting. It’s impossible for me to sort through what in the hell is even happening here. Cillian wants to have sex with me, and he’s taking off my shoes, and—

“Lie down,” he interrupts my thoughts.

I do it. I’m angry with myself for it, but I do it anyway.

“Can I sit down with you?”

I nod, unsure I would even have words if I tried to find them. Cillian takes off his shoes too, then climbs into the bed. He’s on his side, me on my back, while he sets the ice on my ribs. “Right here?”

Another nod.

“Are you broken?” He chuckles, looking down at me all handsome and sexy.

He kills people. Don’t forget that.

“You and Rory have sex?” One moment I can’t speak, and the next that’s what comes out. What’s wrong with my brain?

He frowns, holding the ice to my ribs as if it’s going to fall off without his hand there. “No. Why do you ask?”

“Earlier he asked about getting a blowjob.”

He chuckles. “Oh, he meant going out to find someone to give us one. We don’t have sex with each other, but we often have sex with the same person together.”

His words fry my brain. “You have sex with the same person at the same time?”

He laughs at me again, something he seems to do a lot. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun. There’s something very…freeing about it.”

“Do you do that with Tiernan and Dean too?” The way the two of them are, I can’t see it. Tiernan always looks like he’s ready to kill anyone who even looks at Dean wrong, and Dean is violent himself.

“No. Just Rory. He’s my best friend.”

Being his best friend doesn’t explain the situation to me. The only reason I can think of is… “Are you in love with him?”

“What? No. What makes you ask that?”

“If I had a best friend, I don’t think I would want to go around having threesomes with them.” Not that there’s anything wrong with being poly or having threesomes. I’m just trying to understand what he’s saying. “Do you guys touch and stuff?”

He sighs. “This is the most you’ve ever talked to me without being pissed at me, and it’s about threesomes?

I guess I should take advantage when my kitten puts his claws away.

I’ve never kissed Rory. I haven’t jerked him off or anything like that.

I’ve seen every part of his body, and there’s been times when our hands or bodies have brushed together, but that’s it.

I would never have sex with Rory, but I like to have sex with Rory and someone else.

It makes me feel close to him, and I don’t want that because I’m in love with him or have feelings for him.

It’s just because that’s who we are. I like that connection with him. ”

That sounds like he’s got some kind of feelings for Rory, but I don’t tell him that.

It does make my skin prickle in a way I’m unfamiliar with, though.

What is it…jealousy…? And maybe something more.

Curiosity? I would never have the courage to do something like that.

Hell, I’ve never even had sex fully with anyone at all.

“Why do you ask? Do you want to have sex with me and Rory together? He would be down. Honestly, I kind of wanted you to myself—at least the first time—but I would be willing to have you with him if that’s what you want.”

A five-alarm fire burns up my skin. My face is so hot, I feel like it could pop.

“Oh my God. No! I don’t want to have sex with you and Rory.

I don’t think I could handle that for my first time.

” Wait…why did I just say that? Come to think of it, why does my brain feel cloudy?

I’m pretty sure the pain meds are giving me loose lips.

He frowns, and it takes me a moment to realize he’s not touching the ice anymore…no, his warm hand is on me, the tips of his fingers lightly dancing over my bare skin. “You’re a virgin?”

“You don’t have to say it like it’s a bad word.” I turn my head away.

“I’m not. I’m just surprised. And maybe feeling a little guiltier about telling you I want to fuck you.”

That makes me turn my head back to him. “Why? Believe me, I’d rather not be a virgin. I’m just not the type of guy people usually go for.” Shut up, shut up, shut up. I really wish I wasn’t talking.

“You’re the kind of guy I go for.”

“School-obsessed and too skinny?”

“You’re not too skinny. I love your body.” His fingers dance down my stomach and then back up again. “It surprises me how much. I can’t look at you without wanting to tell you how fucking cute you are.”

Cute but not hot.

“Want to know a secret?” he asks, and I nod. “It’s kind of like I’m a virgin.”

“You were just telling me about all the threesomes you’ve had!”

He grins. “Yes, but I’ve never been with a man before.”

“You literally just told me you want to have sex with me.”

“No shit, but last I checked, we haven’t fucked yet, have we?”

The room spins slightly, my insides feeling like I’m on a merry-go-round that’s turning too fast. “If you’re not queer, then why do you want to have sex with me?”

“Clearly, I am queer because I want to have sex with you. I’ve just never met a man I wanted to fuck before, and now I have.”

I gulp. Cillian O’Shea has never been with a guy, and he chooses me? “Are you insane?”

He barks out a laugh. “Because I want to have sex with you? You seriously turn me on, Kitten. A lot of it is that attitude of yours.”

Up and down, up and down, he keeps touching me, making me tremble, making warmth spread to my groin, and my cock begins to grow.

Oh God. I cannot get hard right now. I would die.

“But if we do, if that ever happens for us, it would only be sex. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do love.”

This time, it’s my turn to laugh. “How can you say that? I don’t do love. No one plans to fall in love. They just do. I’m not saying I would fall in love with you, but you can’t just say love is something you don’t do.”

“It’s something I won’t allow myself to do.” And for the first time, it’s Cillian who looks away, Cillian who has something else in his voice that tells me this is a big deal to him. That he’s been hurt.

“Why?”

“Daddy issues. Why else? Now we’re done talking about me. You haven’t fucked, but what have you done?”

My face heats again. I’ve never blushed so much in my life.

There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to tell him. That wants to end this conversation now and not do…whatever this is I’m doing with Cillian. But there’s another part that wants to share, wants to talk to him, a part of me that feels like more because someone like him would be interested in me.

But that someone is a murderer.

A murderer who wants to protect me.

It’s all so damn confusing. I don’t know what to do or say, so I try to ignore that part of it and say, “Blowjobs.”

“Hmm. I like blowjobs.”

“With Rory.”

“Keep bringing it up, and I’m going to think you’re jealous, Kitten.”

“I am not.” But the way my stomach shifts says there’s a chance I’m lying.

“Good. Because I’d like blowjobs with you. If you decide you want that, you can be my first.”

My cock twitches, hardening at just the thought of that.

“Look at you getting hard for me. I’ve never touched a dick that isn’t my own. You want to be my first, don’t you?” Cillian’s fingers make a journey up and down my torso again. He’s so gentle with me. He’s never been anything but gentle with me.

“Please,” slips past my lips. I blush at having said it but don’t bother taking it back.

“We will. But not today. You’ve been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours. When I touch you, I’ll make damn sure you’re in the right headspace and you want it.”

I let out an embarrassing whine when his hand moves away.

“Get some rest. Your body needs it.”

This time, it doesn’t even bother me to do what he says. I’m too turned on and too much…everything right now to let myself even think anymore.

My eyes fall closed, and they don’t open again, not even when Cillian slips my glasses off, not even when he pulls me closer.