Page 41 of Sweet Vengeance (Sins of the Father #2)

Cillian

When Ollie walks by, I wrap an arm around his waist and pull him to my lap. He comes easily, and I tighten my hold on him, nuzzling his neck. “I missed you,” I say.

He was at the library, studying with Aislin. He just got home, and now he has to leave for work in an hour.

“I missed you too.” He slides his arm around my shoulders, sitting sideways on my thighs. Rory is on the other end of the couch, Dean and Tiernan each in chairs, the bong on the coffee table between us.

The first time he’d seen Rory after our night together, Ollie had been a little shy, but then Rory just threw his arm around Ollie’s shoulders and told him he needed help studying for an exam, and everything was fine.

I’d had school earlier today, then met up with Flynn, one of our guys, who Conan sent down with more drugs for us.

“You can always do some of your schoolwork at the restaurant, and then when I have breaks, I can come out and see you.”

“Oh, can I?” I tease. School doesn’t sound fun, but seeing him does.

Also, being with Ollie makes me want to try more while I’m at college.

When I think about how hard he had to work to get here and how important it is to him, it makes me feel bad that I don’t take my education more seriously.

All I had to do was be an O’Shea to get in, which is also what keeps me here.

I never had to work for it, never have to worry about money or scholarships the way Ollie and so many others do.

And I do so many things he can’t be proud of, I want to try and find a way to do more things that he can be.

“Sure. I’ll do that. I have an exam right before Thanksgiving break that I should study for.”

He looks at me all wide-eyed and innocent.

“What? I study.”

“When?”

“When you make me.” I pump my brows. “I’ll get better about that, though. I promise.”

“You two are so fucking sappy,” Dean says, cracking the wall of our little world.

“Would you rather I sit here sucking on his neck, marking him all up in front of everyone?” That’s always been Dean and Tiernan’s thing.

“It makes more sense to me,” Tiernan says.

“Sorry, not all of us are as emotionally stunted as the two of you,” I tease.

“Boys, boys. Simmer down. No fighting.” Rory looks at Ollie. “I’m the peacekeeper.”

Hearing that makes everyone in the room dissolve into laughter. Rory loves him some drama.

When we settle down, Ollie says, “I’m pretty sure I’m the peacekeeper in the mini-mob house. You guys are a lot calmer with me in the mix.”

I tense beneath him, not because I don’t like what he said, but because I do—because Ollie just made himself a part of us, spoke as though he’s part of the core that is us.

And he is now. Just like Tiernan said, he’s mine, which makes him theirs, but Ollie has never said that.

I don’t know if he sees it, feels it, knows what it means to be a part of us and not just me…

and, well, in his own way, Rory. Ollie’s accepted us, and he and Dean have their own relationship, but he’s never included himself with anything when it comes to Tiernan.

Hell, I’m not sure if he likes T at all.

I hope he will eventually learn to love Tiernan because there is no one better to have in your corner, but I would never push that on Ollie. I already ask too much of him.

“Wait…did you just call us the fucking mini mob?” Tiernan raises his brow.

He’s said it in front of me and Rory, but apparently not Tiernan.

“Who the fuck said you can call us that?” Tiernan adds.

“T,” I say in a warning voice.

Ollie sits up straighter on my lap. “Me. Do you have a problem with it?”

Oh fuck. Tiernan has to know this is a joke, but he also isn’t used to being spoken to like this.

“Tiernan.” I use his full name this time, making sure he can tell by my tone that he’s not getting pissed at Ollie. If he does, we’re going to have a problem. “He didn’t mean any disrespect.”

Tiernan ignores me, the rest of the room silent around us.

“I can talk for myself,” Ollie warns me.

Oh Jesus. Here I am, trying to talk things down, and he’s going to argue with me.

Tiernan leans forward and picks up the bong.

“You’ve got quite the set of balls on you.

” He packs another bowl in the bong. “That’s good.

You’ll need it around here. He needs you to have them.

” Tiernan nods toward me. “I had my doubts at first, but you’re doing good.

Keep it up. Lord knows you’re gonna need all the help you can taking these two on as yours. ”

I breathe out a sigh of relief. I’m not sure Ollie realizes what this is. Tiernan has already welcomed Ollie into the family to me, but he hasn’t to Ollie…until now.

“Wait. What? I’m just the fun sidekick…side piece too.” Rory pumps his brows, and Ollie flushes red.

“You’re not a side piece if I’m there, dumbass.” I kick him, fingers still in Ollie’s hair.

“You know what? I changed my mind. I’m leaving,” Ollie says playfully. He tries to get off my lap, but I tighten my hold.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re mine.”

“And suddenly I don’t want to leave anymore,” Ollie jokes, and everyone laughs again.

And here Ollie is, giving me another perfect moment. All the people in this room are.

“He’s called us the mini mob to me before.” Dean shrugs.

“That nickname stays between us,” Tiernan orders, but he offers a wink to Ollie.

“All right. We need to get ready for work. I’m going with him if you need me, T.” I tap Ollie’s thigh so he stands. When I’m on my feet too, Tiernan’s phone rings.

“Hold that thought. It’s Rian.”

I groan. Not that the call has anything to do with me. He hasn’t spoken to me since that awkward phone call where he asked about Ollie, when we were still staying in the dorm.

Tiernan answers, listens. “Why?” he asks, meeting my gaze briefly.

“You know we don’t have to do this, right?

” he tells my father. “This is not the kind of thing you get to call the shots on.” The fist of his free hand tightens as he listens.

“We’ll discuss it and get back to you.” Tiernan ends the call.

“What is it?” I ask, chest tight.

“He wants us all home for Thanksgiving. Together.” He looks at Ollie. “You too.”

“Fuck that,” I say. “He can kiss my ass. I’m not spending the holiday with him.” Why the hell is he even asking? That’s not us. At least not him and me. And Thanksgiving? It’s not a day we celebrate.

“We all go or none of us go,” Tiernan cuts in. “It’s up to you two. You let us know what we’re doing, and we do it.” He lights the weed and inhales a bong rip.

“No,” I answer.

Tiernan blows out smoke. “Then I’ll tell him no.”

“Wait.” Ollie touches my arm. “Let’s just take a day to think on it.” My jaw tenses, but I don’t respond, and Ollie says to Tiernan, “We’ll tell you tomorrow, okay?”

Tiernan shrugs. “Fine.”

Ollie takes my hand, and the two of us go up to our room. The second the door is closed, I say, “We’re not going.”

“So that’s how it’s going to be with us? You get to make decisions, and I don’t get a say?”

“No, but this is about my dad. That makes it different.” I fist my hands in my hair, tighten my hold.

Why the fuck am I freaking out like this?

Why does it even matter? Fuck my dad. And if I see him, whatever.

It is what it is. I know he doesn’t care, and I don’t care either.

“He couldn’t even fucking call me to ask that?

It has nothing to do with work!” And that’s the heart of this outburst, isn’t it?

The reason I’m losing my shit. I’m upset he didn’t call me.

I’m not supposed to want him to call me, but I do.

“I’m sorry.” Ollie encircles me in his arms. “I’m so sorry he hasn’t been the dad you deserve, but maybe he’s trying. Maybe that’s what this is about, and he just doesn’t know how to do it.”

“I don’t care about him.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. He needs to earn that, but it’s also okay if you want to give him that chance to earn it…

if you want to see where this goes, even if it doesn’t change things.

I just don’t want you to make a decision out of anger and then later regret it.

Because in here”—he touches my chest—“I think you care more than you want to admit. Don’t make a choice for him. Make one for you, baby.”

“Ugh. Why did you have to pull out the term of endearment?” I try to smile but end up pulling him closer instead. This always helps. Being with him makes everything better. “What would you do?” I ask, honestly curious.

“You need to do what you want, not what I want.”

“I know, but I trust your judgment more than mine. You’re more levelheaded.

I’m more like the mini mob.” This time I do smile.

“Most of us react first, ask questions later. Tiernan thinks things through more, but his first instinct is still anger, and mine is too.” But not Ollie’s.

He’s better at using logic, looking at a situation from more than one angle.

He’s a lot better at making adult decisions than anyone in this house and maybe anyone I know.

“Cil…”

“Please. Tell me. I trust you.”

“Thank you.” He looks at me with a world of tenderness in his gaze.

“I think…I think you love your dad. You don’t want to, but you do.

Who knows if he deserves that love, but if there’s a chance he does, I want you to have it.

Maybe he’s trying, and it could be too little too late.

Only you can make that decision, but if it were me, I would give him a chance. ”

“I hate that I fucking care.”

“That just means you have a big heart. Don’t hate that.” He shrugs. “I love that about you.”

“The murderer with the big heart?”

“Yes,” he answers simply. “It’s you who taught me we can be more than one thing.”

Fuck, I love him. So goddamned much. I want to protect him, to keep him safe—from them, from me. “I don’t want you around them. Any of them…or to see me with them.” It’s different with the people in this house, but the others, they’re harder, colder. They’ve seen and done more.

“Then how will this ever work? They’ll be a part of your life forever.

If I am too, then you can’t keep your two worlds separate.

I know I said that in the beginning, but it’s not feasible.

That might be easier while we’re at school, but soon you’ll want to go back there for good.

Where does that leave us if you don’t want me around them? ”

He’s right. Ollie seems to always be right. “We have to be careful. And you have to fucking listen to me. And you can’t trust anyone. I want you by my side every fucking second, but if you can’t be, you’re to be with Rory, Tiernan, or Dean.”

“Yes, sir.” He steps back and gives me a playful salute.

I roll my eyes. “I’m serious. I can’t believe I’m even thinking of bringing you there.” But how will we ever last if I don’t?

“I can take care of myself. I have to be able to take care of myself. That’s important to me.”

“I get that, I do, but you need to see where I’m coming from too.

You want to protect me just as much as I want to protect you.

We just do it in different ways, but even you thinking I should go is your way of trying to protect and take care of me.

That’s what love is.” I have no fucking idea when I got so damn smart, but I’m really proud of what I just said… and I know it’s true.

“Good point.”

“Right? I fucking owned that.”

Ollie chuckles. “I’ll be careful, but you have to be careful too.”

“I’m always careful.”

“Um…well, that’s debatable. But now that we’re going to Boston this weekend, I want to ask you something.”

I study him for a moment, wondering where this is going. “What is it?”

“Go home with me for Christmas. Are you allowed to like, have a mob-free vacation? I want you to meet my dad. I want him to know you.”

My heart stumbles over itself a couple of times. I can’t wrap my head around it sometimes, how he can love me. How he can look at me and think I’m the man he should bring home to meet his father.

“Why?”

“Because I love you,” he answers as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

“He will.”

“Or doesn’t want you to be with me?”

“Are you planning to try to sell him drugs or get him offed? If not, I don’t think he’s going to know all those things about you.”

I give him a small smile and offer him my truth. “I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not. And he would never say that, even if he knew. He wouldn’t understand, but he would trust me.”

I’m not sure I agree, but I won’t argue with him about it either. If he wants to believe that, I’ll live in his fairy-tale land with him.

“I’ll make it happen,” I promise.

“I love you.” He pushes up onto his toes and kisses me.

“I love you too.”