Page 43 of Sunrise (Monarch Club #3)

Vault

I’ve tried to get ahold of Knox all goddamn day.

He never responded to my text last night, and at first, I assumed his battery probably died.

He’s not good at keeping up with that kind of thing.

But he’s been home, presumably, all fucking day and never once took my calls or answered any of my texts. Not even the group one.

Relax. It’s fine.

He’s probably just distracted by something. Squirrelly motherfucker. Or maybe he crashed as hard as Sophie did last night and is still sleeping? There’s no reason to worry yet. We’ve all been busy and running on little to no sleep, which is catching up with everyone.

Guess there’s no rest for the wicked.

Checking my watch, I note the time. “The Butterfly Ceremony is about to start,” I warn my girl.

Standing in Sophie’s dressing room, in front of her full-length mirror, I smooth out my crisp, perfectly tailored suit again.

The man in the mirror is a sculpture of power and seduction.

Adjusting my tie so it’s perfect, I’m sucked back into the past…

I can’t get my tie to lay right. The knot is a little fucked up. Ripping it from my neck, I start the process over.

A loud set of footsteps pound up my stairs and my door suddenly flies open. Knox rushes in, out of breath, and shuts us in my room together. “Don’t go.”

My walls go up immediately. “I don’t have a choice, Knox. I already committed.”

“So uncommit.”

I shake my head and work on my tie. It looks like a disaster again and I rip it off and start over.

He always knew I was going to college. This isn’t a surprise bomb that’s landed on us. Besides, it’s not like I’m leaving today.

“Be with me,” he begs, and I hate how his voice cracks with agony. It sends fissures into my heart and makes some of my walls crumble. “ Please , Alex.”

I’ve thought about this a million times. I don’t want to go to college, but my parents will be so disappointed if I don’t. And I’m not staying here so I can die a slow death in my misery. If there was any other way, I’d take it.

Impulsively, I grab his arm. “Run away with me.”

Knox gawks. “What?”

“Run away with me,” I whisper yell. My gaze darts to the door. “I’ve got money.” It’s not much, but it’s something. “And we can hock this.” I quickly grab the graduation gift my parents just surprised me with and show it to him. “It’s a Rolex. We might be able to get a couple grand for it.”

He glowers at me. “I’m not running away with you. Just stay with me.”

In his house with his asshole dad? Never. “Why won’t you fucking run with me?”

“Because you’re running for the wrong reason, Alex.” He snatches the watch out of my hand and slams the box on my dresser. “You can’t run from yourself. Everywhere you go, there you’ll be. ”

I hate when he talks like that. “I’m not running from myself.”

“Yes, you are. You run. Hide. Now you’re going to go to college. You’re constantly looking for some escape.”

“Says the asshole we had to wean off drugs not that long ago. You’re such a fucking hypocrite.” Heat radiates down my back and my suit feels too tight and suffocating. “Fuck you, Knox.”

He jerks back as if I’ve punched him.

I’m the reason he’d turned to drugs. He once told Ryker he was chasing the high he only ever used to feel with me. If I hadn’t felt like shit before, I definitely did after learning that. He’s been clean for a while, but… will he go back to it once I’m gone?

I don’t want to leave him.

Why won’t he fucking run away with me?

Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore.

Fury and shame trap me in their teeth, and I lash out. “You say you love me, but you won’t do this? You beg for me to be with you and then when I ask you to run with me, you say no? Go to fucking Hell.” I shove him once. Twice.

The third time is when he pushes me back.

“Get it out,” he seethes. “Keep fucking going, Alex.”

I don’t know what he means. I just know I need to leave before I do something I’ll regret for the rest of my life. And yet, here I stand, begging him… “Run. Away. With me.”

“I’m not leaving my pops,” he says, like that’s a good reason to stay. “And I’m not leaving Ryker and Dmitri. They need me.”

“I NEED YOU!” I scream at him.

“Then stay!”

He doesn’t get it. I can’t be here anymore. I hate myself, I hate my family, I hate my life, I hate everything around me. If I leave now, there’s still hope for me to get out of my Hell. I can start over, become someone else, be anything other than what I already am.

“He can’t hurt you anymore, Alex. He’s gone .”

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block out the screaming in my head.

“Stay. Please .” Knox grabs me by the back of the neck and smashes his mouth to mine.

I don’t want it. I can’t let him touch me.

I can’t breathe. Panic bolsters my strength and when I push him off me, he crashes into the dresser.

The hurt in his gaze cuts me in half. He holds his side, breathing hard, and I don’t have to look to know there’s likely a fresh bruise from his father under his shirt.

And I just made it worse by shoving him into a piece of furniture.

I’m a monster.

“Alex!” Dad calls out, swinging my bedroom door halfway open. He looks at me and then at Knox, and his expression shifts from happy to concern. “We leave in five minutes, son.”

“Okay.” Ignoring the ache in my chest, I snatch my tie and start knotting it again. “Just leave.”

“I thought I was going with you to graduation.”

“I said leave!”

“But—”

“Go, Knox! I don’t fucking want you with me!” I throw the box with the watch at his head. He doesn’t dodge it like I know he could have. He’s got the fastest reflexes I’ve ever seen, and yet… he never fucking blocks or ducks out of the way when I unleash my fury on him. Not ever.

He calmly picks up the watch. Pulls it from the case. Sets the shiny Rolex on the floor.

And stomps on it.

It’s like he just stomped on my shriveled robotic heart.

“You’ll come back,” he growls, like it’s a warning. “ You belong with me.” He’s so mad, he’s shaking. So am I. “You’re going to come back, either by running or crawling… you will fucking come back to me, Alex.”

“Come on, boys! Time to go!” Mom yells from the foyer.

I shove past him and head out without saying another word. When I get into the backseat of my dad’s car, I shut myself off and stare at the center console.

Mom turns towards me. “Isn’t Knox coming, honey?”

“Just drive. We’re going to be late.”

He’s right to not run away with me. I’m a piece of shit. And I’m never coming back to him because he deserves so much better.

Ryker always says, “Hurt people hurt people”, but that doesn’t make sense. Hurt people shouldn’t hurt people because they know how miserable and shitty it is to be fucking hurt.

I can’t cause Knox anymore pain.

I’m leaving so I can save him from me.

It’s the least I can do for the only person on this planet that I fucking love…

“Ready?” Sophie asks from behind me.

“Yeah.” I check my tie one more time before turning to face her. “You look ravishing, Mistress.”

Her smile is wicked… and fake. “Call me Sophie in private and Mistress out there?”

Nodding in agreement, it’s like having the real woman in secret and the fake out in public. It’s both a clear line, and also a blurred one. Then again, we’ve been blurring scenes and reality for days. The blend is nice, honestly. It’s helped me tie my two halves together .

“What were you thinking about just now?” she asks, hooking her arm in mine.

“My high school graduation.”

Funny how Knox was right all along. I should have stayed with him.

I could have protected him from his father if I had.

One bullet wasn’t enough. I’d take an entire chamber full for that man.

And if I’d stayed with him all those years ago, we wouldn’t be making up for lost time now.

The gap in our hearts is slowly closing, and our friendship has always remained intact, but the past couple of weeks with the three of us together have made me delusional enough to believe our future is bright together.

My heart squeezes with bitterness. “I should have never gone to college. I should have stayed.”

“You came back,” she says, like that’s just as good, if not better.

Knox would say the same thing.

He told me I’d come back to him, and he was right.

My footing is solid as I escort my girl down the hall and straight to the Butterfly Ceremony. “If I hadn’t come back, I never would have met you.”

She squeezes my arm and stays quiet until we’re almost at the double doors. “Have you heard from him yet?”

“No.”

“Me either. Should we be worried?”

“No.”

The room is packed with Monarch Club members dressed in their finest. I opted for a suit instead of a tux this time because I’m not offering myself as a prize to the Butterfly.

Sophie asked me if I was okay sitting this one out, and I said yes.

She’s not putting herself on the menu either.

We already told Ryker our decision, and he informed the contestants. Two left already.

It's fine. We’ll still make a fuckload of money for whatever charity Ry’s picked this year.

Standing in the corner at the back of the club, I hold her in my arms and kiss the side of her neck. The stage curtains open and the ceremony begins. Ryker does his usual greeting and goes over the rules, then the first woman walks into the spotlight and the bidding begins.

The one with the highest bid will win the title of Butterfly and stay in the special suite at the Monarch Club for an entire month with any Dom she chooses. Her options will present themselves in her room directly after the ceremony is over.

I’ve never liked or disliked being an option.

Pleasuring a woman is easy because I can read cues, body language, and ask a lot of questions up front, then proceed from there.

As a stone top, the pillow princesses are my preferred subs.

They don’t touch or pleasure me, and I can devote myself to only giving them euphoria.

It’s been helpful in my journey back to liking sex.

They usually love when I practice Shibari on them, too.

During those sessions, we talk, and they open up about all kinds of things.

I sort of feel like a therapist more than a Dom.

By the end of the month, I’m a little more head-fucked, and they’re a little more ready to show the world their new transformation as a strong, sexual, independent creature.

I love the world Ryker’s built. I never want to leave it.

This place, and those within its wall, gave me the courage to find my desire again. I’m no longer afraid to ask for what I want. And with Knox now part of it, my life finally feels like it’s real again.

Sliding an empty chair over to our dark corner, I take a seat and pat my thigh. Sophie’s mini dress has her tits nearly spilling out of the top and they jiggle as she drops into my lap. She’s also not wearing panties, per my request.

“Play with me,” I whisper against her ear.

Her tone is instantly sultry. “What do you have in mind?”

Peeling her tight dress up so I can have access to what I want, I say, “Quiet means deeper. Loud gets you next to nothing. Understand?”

She trembles with anticipation. “Yes.”

Playing with her clit, I draw her arousal out until it’s coating my fingers. With the stream of potential Butterflies parading on stage, and the entire room dimly lit, this is fucking perfect. Sophie leans forward for a moment so I can unbutton my suit jacket, open my fly, and pull out my dick.

Holding it straight up, I whisper-growl, “Ease onto me, baby.”

Sophie slowly impales herself with my dick. A shudder runs through her when she sinks all the way down, taking every inch of me.

“Good girl,” I growl in her ear.

Holding her hips, I guide my girl up and down the way I like, at the pace I want. She’s got every bit of me bottoming out. Soon enough, she whimpers. I pull her off and only fuck her with the first couple inches of my cock, until she stops making noise, then I give it all to her again.

She makes a lot more noise.

“You’re not good at this game. ”

“I’m not even a little sorry,” she groans, riding me while we watch the Butterflies on stage. I keep punishing and rewarding her until we’re both a panting mess in the back corner.

“Six-hundred thousand!” someone yells from the audience.

“Cheap assholes,” I growl, then slam into her again.

Sophie cries out, and I cover her mouth with my hand. She starts rubbing her clit while I fuck her harder, faster. We’re not going to last in secret like this.

Do I want the members to turn around and watch?

Fuck.

I’m gonna blow.

“Let me fill you, baby. I need to stay inside you.”

She frantically nods, giving me consent to come in her pussy and on the fifth downstroke, she detonates, crying out and biting my fingers while my orgasm pulses out of me. Her breaths are labored. My heart’s about to explode. Our climaxes work in tandem until we’re rasping for air.

Ryker announces the winner of the Butterfly Ceremony.

Everyone applauses and Sophie stands to adjust her dress while I tuck myself back into my suit pants.

Suddenly, the doors burst open and Knox rushes in looking wild-eyed and terrified.