Page 35 of Sunrise (Monarch Club #3)

Sophie

Dmitri warned me that Knox would turn sex into a blood sport if he thought it would make me or Vault happy. He might have been right, but he also unlocked a part of Vault that I think has been kept a secret for a very long time.

Watching that man finally snap and go off was monumental.

Knox made the right call. He forced Alex to face a side of himself he likely never would have acknowledged otherwise.

But I’m scared it’s too soon for this level of breakthrough.

I’m failing them as their Domme, left and right.

There are rules. Boundaries. Protocol. We’re acting like novices in this lifestyle instead of professionals, which speaks volumes for our individual headspaces.

We need to be more careful and mindful before someone gets really hurt.

My gaze lifts to the camera in the corner and I pull on my earlobe.

The secondary light blinks.

Dmitri’s watching us.

Of course he is .

The earlobe trick was one Vault put in place for me shortly after I started working at the Monarch as a Domme, and he told Ryker and D about it. It’s my signal that I’m doing good. Regardless of what things may look like, I’m okay.

But are the guys alright?

They’ve been in the bathroom for a while.

After returning with drinks and fruit to an empty room, I worried that maybe they’d left.

But their deep, soft tones rumbled out from behind the bathroom door, making the emptiness in my heart fill with instant relief.

I didn’t want to eavesdrop, so I’ve been sitting on the bed ever since.

Suddenly, laughter hits my ears. It’s so loud, it jars me.

“Oh thank god.” They’re going to be okay. This session was just one more milestone to help them get back to each other, not a major step backwards like I feared.

My imposter syndrome strikes, punching me in the gut. I should leave so they can be alone together. Go freshen up and get ready for my evening as a dominatrix in the Monarch. I have a full roster for tonight and…

I don’t want to do it.

Oh my god, what is wrong with me? Have I lost everything that I am in less than twenty-four hours? I’ve gone from being on top of the world, on the brink of a scientific breakthrough, having two men I’m head over heels for finally getting back together, to…

This.

I’m lost. Empty-handed and hollow-hearted. Unemployed during the day and uninterested in my job at night. Since when did I stop enjoying being a Domme?

Closing my eyes, I shove that notion right back where it belongs—in the pit of my belly, where it can die. Snap out of it, Sophie! I love being a Domme, so this sudden change of mind is just me struggling with my life choices. My before and after.

My future.

Yeah. That’s what this is. I’m confused and flustered.

That’s all. Is it any wonder? I almost outed myself earlier this morning with Vault and Knox.

I wanted so badly to tell them the truth about what happened to me years ago, but I couldn’t do it.

If they knew how deep my lies go, they’d never forgive me. Neither would Ryker nor Dmitri.

I’d lose everything.

So yeah, me questioning my choices and lifestyle is just a hiccup. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.

“Get it together, woman.” I rub my thighs and remind myself of all the good I’ve done. Being a Domme has given me chances to help others discover new things to love about themselves.

Domme life is the bomb life.

It also should be noted that I’ve had the most fun being with Knox and Vault than all the clients I’ve ever had combined. Do I love being a Domme only when I’m with them?

Wait. No. The other night with that couple during the open house, I was having fun.

Until I wasn’t and hit the panic button .

What about the time before that?

The more I think of it, the more I realize what I love is being watched by Vault through security cameras. My role here is being a performer, not a partner. I love teaching subs how to be dominated… but I don’t necessarily enjoy dominating them personally.

Vault and Knox are my only exceptions .

Shit. What does that even mean?

Eventually, the door opens and Vault steps out first with a towel around his waist, carrying a jar of salve.

Our eyes meet. I can’t read the expression on his face.

It’s too complicated. Vault has never been someone I could decode.

Knox, however, I can read like a book. So, when I see his smile and the easy way he approaches the bed, all freshly showered and content, I assume they’re both okay.

“How are you, pet?”

He crawls onto the bed, heading for my outstretched hand, and lays his head on my lap. “Much better, Mistress.”

The honorific rips me in half. I don’t want to be Mistress right now. I want to be me.

You aren’t that woman anymore , I remind myself. And they didn’t come to you for anything other than to be used as a bridge to connect them .

I stroke Knox’s hair. It soothes me as much as it does him. Vault sits on my other side and hands me the salve. I thought Knox would have put this on him in the bathroom, but I guess not. Then again, it’s my responsibility as his Mistress to ensure his aftercare.

If they only need me for this role, I’ll accept it. I’m not above feasting on breadcrumbs.

Unscrewing the top, I dip two fingers in and rub the salve along the welts I put on Vault’s back.

His body is a tapestry of artwork that’s easily covered up with a shirt.

One would never know that under the suits he wears, he’s got circuit boards going down one arm and a back covered in ink.

My hand glides across his taut muscles and smooth skin while I admire the art.

“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper. Taking care of him like this, with Knox’s head in my lap, is grounding. I dip fingers into the salve again and run it over another welt. “Can I ask you something personal?”

“You can ask me anything, Mistress.”

I cringe at the honorific. It’s better than Madame, which was my old name, but I prefer them calling me Sophie.

Or Baby and Sweetheart.

Even Sunrise, though it still confuses me.

“Do all your tattoos have meaning?”

Vault stays relaxed, facing away from me. “Yeah.”

“What’s the double-headed angel about?” I run my fingers along two winged skeletons holding the same knife between them, with the point of the blade perfectly aligned down his spine.

They face each other, their heads fused in the middle, so there’s only one face…

or it could be two separate profiles, depending on how you choose to look at it.

It’s always been my favorite of his collection.

“That’s me,” he says nonchalantly. “It’s how I see myself.”

Wow. Vault sees himself as two different people sharing the same brain? How… relatable. “Is the sword to protect you?”

“It’s a double edge.” That’s all he says about it.

“And the Medusa?” I caress her face, enchanted by her white, dead eyes. She’s done in all grey, black, and white. I get chills every time I stare at her for too long because it’s so lifelike, even the snakes seem to slither when he moves.

“She represents me taking back my agency,” he says coldly .

Tension stiffens in the air, but I refuse to give it space. Running my hand along Medusa’s face again, I rub salve over the welts in her hair. “She’s magnificent.”

I know Vault’s history, though he’s never shared every detail about what happened to him as a teenager. That trauma has certainly contributed to shaping him into the man he is today. I wouldn’t wish that suffering on anyone. Ever. But I also wouldn’t change anything about Vault.

“What is this?” I scrape my nails gently along the lower right side of his back. “Soundwaves?”

He nods.

“From what?”

“A song.” He doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t want to keep prying.

“Drink that water for me,” I say, stepping back into the role I belong in.

Vault grabs the waiting glass from the end table and chugs half of it while I turn my attention to Knox.

I love how snuggly he gets. Of all my subs, he’s the only one I’ve ever allowed to get this cuddly.

Normally I stay with them for a little while, offer light petting, but that’s it.

Knox is different. There have been plenty of times when I’ve laid with him all night and was sad to leave in the morning.

“Does this feel good, pup?” I scratch his scalp, loving his soft hair.

His faux hawk is all messed up, like usual, but he rocks it well.

He wakes up hot and falls asleep still smoking.

Add that jawline he brags about and full mouth, and he’s stupidly gorgeous.

I’ve got two men who have some seriously major main character energy in my bed.

I love that for me .

“Would you like me to run you a bath?”

Knox opens his eyes, hitting me in the heart with those deep green peepers. “No thank you.”

“A massage?”

He shakes his head, tickling my lap.

“What can I do to make you feel good?” He’s been through a lot tonight and if our normal aftercare routines aren’t what he wants, I have to find something that’ll work.

He cocks a brow. “Can I have anything I want?”

“Of course.” His comfort is my priority.

“Fuck me.”

Heat pools between my thighs at his request. Vault turns slowly to look at us. I don’t dare pull my gaze from Knox, though. “Are you sure?”

He nods.

“Okay,” I whisper, uncertain if this is the right move to make.

He’s in charge , I remind myself. Knox is the one holding the reins today, per Vault’s orders, and even if I’m their Domme, they both know that they hold most of the power, if not all. If Knox wants me to fuck him, I’m more than happy to oblige. I’d worship this man until my dying day if I could.

Knox sits up and kisses me, already eager. I allow it for a moment, then turn us over so I’m straddling him. Vault moves out of our way and drags the sex bench closer to the foot of the bed to sit on it.

Knowing he’s watching sets me on fire.

I want to please them both.