Page 13 of Sunrise (Monarch Club #3)

Sophie

I’m jealous. There. I’ve confessed.

I’m jealous that these four men have been a unit for most of their lives while I’ve only gotten to know them over the past handful of years.

I’m jealous that I can’t be filthy rich like Vault and quit my day job to be at the Monarch all day and night.

I’m jealous that he kissed Knox first all those years ago.

I’m jealous that they know each other better than anyone will ever know me.

I’m an outsider.

An intruder.

An actor.

So why does it feel like I fit in with them?

It’s not just the way Dmitri and Ryker keep me close to their side, but Knox and Vault are next level with me.

I’ve been in plenty of threesomes and always know my place at the Monarch.

I’m a conduit. I move between a couple, helping them explore and learn and face their kinks head-on in a safe way.

I offer comfort, encouragement, and enlightenment.

In the beginning, when Vault and I started with each other, I suspected that was all I’d be for him. And with Knox, I know I was. At least in the beginning. But now I’ve caught feelings .

I want to belong.

But I never will because they can’t know my whole story and holding secrets is against the rules. It’s dishonest and I’m betraying them every fucking day because I can’t tell anyone about my before . Ever.

Not even Ryker has a clue. I came to him an eager, still in college for my PhD, young woman who begged for a job here. I pretended to not know a thing about BDSM and acted like a fast learner so I could one day be his best Domme.

It was by design. Everything I do… is by design.

The guilt eats me a little more every day.

Jolting me out of my thoughts, Knox pulls on his boxers and scoops his pants off the floor. “Where are you going, pup?”

“To make us snacks.”

Vault lies on his back in the bed, one arm propped under his head, the other resting on his chest. “Let him,” he says.

“And here I thought I was the one calling the shots around here.”

Knox pulls on his shirt next. “I’m using my pretty privilege to get the good stuff from the kitchen. Any requests?”

“Steak,” Vault replies. “Medium.”

“I know how you like it.” He stuffs his feet into his boots. “What about you, Soph?”

I’m suddenly not very hungry. “Something light and sweet.”

“You got it.” The door softly closes behind him.

“I feel like I’m in a dream.” Turning to Vault, I rest my leg over his groin. His hand is hot on my thigh when he strokes it lazily.

“Tell me about it.” Staring up at the ceiling, he frowns. “I’m going to have more setbacks during these sessions.”

“You don’t know that.” I pull the blanket over me a little. “Look how far you’ve come in the past year, eleven months, three weeks and two days.”

“You’ve been counting?”

“Every day with you is worth celebrating. Of course I keep count.”

He gets this goofy, shy, lopsided smile that makes him look so sweet and innocent. Funny, considering he can rearrange my guts with his impressive dick moves. This man is a geek in the streets and a freak in the sheets.

Like me.

“Setbacks are okay. They show progress.”

“They show regression,” he counters.

“They show a crack in your foundation, which you then work to heal. That’s not regression.”

He doesn’t argue with me again.

I almost drift to sleep when he slides on top of me. “Can I have you?”

Vault always asks me that. As if I’d ever tell him no. “Yes.”

I’m not aroused anymore, but he rectifies that issue immediately by kissing my neck. I only have one hot button, and both these men know how to fucking push it. I feel moisture gather between my thighs, and my pussy clenches while he alternates dragging his tongue over my hotspot and kissing it.

If Vault needs to take the lead with me, he’s more than welcome. I don’t always want to be in control. It’s nice to not be the calculating one for once. Spreading my thighs to accommodate his body, I groan as he presses his tip against my pussy, finding me wet.

“You’re always so responsive,” he whispers against my ear.

“You know how to turn me on quickly.”

Pushing into me, he moves in and out, sinking deeper an inch at a time.

Our mouths fuse. We inhale and groan until he manages to fully seat inside me.

I playfully bite his bottom lip and tug it.

He runs his hands through my hair, swiping stray strands from my face.

Then he moves over me in big, slow, deliberate thrusts, which drives my lust up the charts.

His muscles contract under my hands. His skin heats up. He smells so good, I wish I could live in a cloud of it forever. His damp hair brushes against my cheek when he nuzzles my neck, hitting my button again. My pussy clenches.

“Fuck, Soph.” He nips my neck and thrusts into me harder. “You drive me wild when you grip like that.”

Hooking my legs around his middle, with my nails digging into his ass, I let him edge me towards an orgasm. He hits everything just right. So calculating and precise. Efficiently perfect.

Warmth spreads through my coiled belly and his pace shifts into fifth gear.

My palms slam against the headboard as I brace myself. Vault rails me until I’m sinking my teeth into shoulder, grunting like an animal. My release takes me to the moon.

He doesn’t stop even after I’ve melted into the mattress. Unable to stay locked in, my legs flop open, and arms fall. Vault continues to chase his release. Grunting, moaning, thrusting harder and harder. It borders violence, which I crave .

“You’re fucking the same hole he did,” I offer as enticement. “He’s still inside me.” Scraping his arms, I add, “Do you feel him?”

Vault rattles apart on that note. He loses rhythm and all those carefully calculated moves of his turn chaotic. Roaring with his release, he trembles and collapses on top of me. Not enough to crush, but I can feel his heart hammering against mine while we catch our breath.

Threading my fingers through his damp hair, I cradle him in silence.

I love being the conduit between them, but I want more. Is it wrong of me? Do I even have the right?

Guilt hits my gut again.

The door opens with Knox dragging in a rolling cart full of food. One glance at the two of us, naked and entwined, and he’s grinning. “Smells like sex in here.” He looks down at the food. “Sex and now steak. I’m… not opposed to that combo, weirdly enough.”

Vault kisses the tip of my nose before climbing off me. Wrapping himself in a towel, he saunters over to the cart while I get a robe from the closet. Fanning my hair out, I join them on the sofa and pour myself a glass of Champagne.

“For you.” Knox presents me with a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries.

Vault cuts into his steak and takes the first bite. “It’s overcooked.”

“The hell it is, asshole.” Knox sits back with a glass of water. “It’s perfect because I made it that way.”

“You perfectly overcooked it.” Vault quickly winks at me .

“Damnit, man! No, I—”

Vault and I crack up. He’s laughing so hard, he almost falls over with his food in his lap.

“Not funny.” Knox tosses an ice cube at him.

“He doesn’t like his food criticized,” Vault explains, but I already knew that.

The chocolate strawberries he made me are huge. He definitely went for the best stuff in the Monarch’s kitchen. “These are amazing. Thank you.”

“Anytime you want something, tell me. If I can’t make it, I’ll learn.”

The fruit pairs perfectly with my bubbly. Curling up like a cat on my cushion, I watch Vault meticulously cut his steak. It is cooked perfectly.

“Who taught you how to cook, Knox?”

“Myself.” He snags a green bean from Vault’s plate. “My mom forgot to take her family recipe book when she left us. I found it one day and started with that. Cooking became my love language after a while, I guess.”

Makes sense. It definitely fits into his acts of service.

“Do you ever see her?”

Knox shakes his head. “Not much. I’ve never really forgiven her for leaving, even though I’m happy she did.”

“Then why don’t you forgive her for it?”

He stares into his water glass like there’s something more interesting in there than this conversation. “I would never want a woman in a bad relationship. Domestic violence is never okay. But… I also don’t think you should abandon the ones you love.”

My stomach drops instantly with guilt again.

If he knew the real me, he’d hate me for what I’ve done then.

I need to change the subject before we get further into that touchy subject.

Because I left everyone behind, whether I loved them unconditionally or not.

“Why didn’t you just become the chef at the Monarch? ”

I notice Vault isn’t looking up from the plate and is chewing slowly.

“I could never work here,” Knox says, as if it’s a well-known fact.

Vault’s grip tightens around his fork.

Okay then. Guess that’s a touchy subject, too.

Knox looks over at him and slaps his shoulder with the back of his knuckles. “Want to go on a midnight ride after this?”

“Sure.”

Knox lights up. “You wanna come too, Sophie?”

Are they including me because they want to, or because they feel obligated to?

“I don’t think so. I’m exhausted.”

Vault’s brow furrows. “You sure?”

“Yes.” I place the bowl and my flute on the coffee table. “It’s been a long day, and I’m spent.”

“We’ll stay in then,” Knox announces.

“No. I want you two to go.” Closing the neck to my robe, I rest my head against the back cushion. My eyelids are heavy. “I’ll still be here when you get back.”

Vault scoops me into his arms and carries me back to bed. I crash while they get dressed and slip out the door.