Page 33 of Sunrise (Monarch Club #3)

Knox

Fuck. This.

I tackle Alex and pin him to the bed like we’re two starved wolves fighting over the same meal. His eyes widen with shock a second before he explodes into a ball of chaos and fury.

We wrestle across the bed, fall off, and slam to the floor. We punch, hit, and kick one another. At one point, I bite his shoulder, and he screams.

Alex needs this. He needs to fight his demons. If I have to dress like one of them so he takes the first swing, so be it.

I flip him onto his back and pin his arms down. He head-butts me. An echo cracks in my skull as stars burst in my eyes. They tear up, making his scrunched-up face blurry. Alex kicks and jerks under me, screaming a bunch of unintelligible words.

“That’s it, fight!” It’s a struggle to keep him pinned down. “Fucking feel it, Alex. All that anger didn’t vanish, did it? One fire didn’t fix you. Do you know why?”

He slips one arm out of my grip.

“Because you’re not broken!”

Wham ! He clocks me in the jaw.

I laugh it off because what else can I do? I asked for this. I’ve craved it for forever.

“Feel your anger, your pain, your hate.”

He flips me over and my head smacks the floor.

“Let me eat it for you,” I growl just before he hits me again. I’ve never felt more alive than I do right now. Having Alex unravel is a drug I need in my system. “Give it to me.”

He uses all his body weight to pin me down. I don’t even fight it.

“Give it all to me, Alex.” My hand thrusts out and grips his throat. “I want it.”

He’s a maniac. Uncoordinated and quick. I can’t keep up with how fast he’s fighting me, so I don’t engage. My submission is my consent.

I don’t scramble away when he flips me over.

I don’t yell when he kicks my legs apart.

Staring at the camera, then at Sophie, I brace myself for anything. A smile tears across my face when he spits on my asshole.

“That’s it. Take me, Alex.”

My victory is short-lived once he screams with the head of his dick pressed hard against me, threatening to go in. He thinks he’s a monster for wanting to fuck this way. He’s forcing himself onto me.

“I want this,” I say over my shoulder, hoping it’ll encourage him to push. “Do you?”

He’s shaking like a leaf. Holding my hip with one hand, the other is down by my thigh, Vault’s trembling so hard I almost call Red. But this primal, unhinged moment between us is necessary.

He’d never act like this with a woman.

And Sophie might have healed some of his trauma, but I’m at the root of it .

I’m at the motherfucking bottom.

I scramble away, making him have to fight for it. Vault gives chase and snags my leg, dragging me back to him. Good . I kick him in the chest. He grunts from the impact, and I manage to get away a second time, but I’m not moving fast. I want him to catch me.

He pins me down again and smashes my face against the floor. “Stay down .”

“Or what?” I heave upwards to try to knock him off me.

“Or this.” Pressing my chest flat on the floor, he spreads my legs and shoves the crown of his cock into me. “You fucking want me to punish you?”

I groan when he shoves into me a little more.

Holy shit . “Yes.”

“Tell me to stop,” he barks, easing into me further. “Tell me to fucking stop, Knox!”

My mouth stays shut.

He bottoms out, stealing the breath from my lungs, and it’s as painful as it is sweet.

Vault fucks me like an animal. He screams and claws at me. If I try to get up, he shoves me back down. If I groan, he fucks me harder.

“Give… it… all… to… me,” I grunt between his thrusts. His dick was still wet from Sophie. It’s not enough, but it’s all we’re working with.

“I’m hurting you,” he says, but doesn’t stop. “What color are you?”

“Green.” I’m seeing stars. He’s jack hammering into me. I haven’t been prepped properly, but my body wants this too badly to say any other color.

Alex pulls out instantly and flips me onto my back. The room is spinning. “God damn you, Knox.” He slaps me across the face. “God. Fucking. Damn you.” He smashes his mouth to mine and whatever pain I felt ten seconds ago fades.

He’s nearly flush against me, and I lace our hands together as I kiss him back. Once the chaos settles, all that’s left is our thumping hearts.

“I hurt you…” he whispers against my mouth. “Again.”

“I’m fine.” Not really, but I’ll get over it. Reaching up, I wipe my thumb across his mouth. “It’s nice to get a glimpse of the old you.”

“I just forced myself on you.”

“You didn’t force it, Alex. I allowed it.”

“Sometimes…” Sophie says, approaching us cautiously, “ravaging someone is another way to heal, Vault.”

There’s no way he didn’t know that. So why does he look so stricken about doing it?

He falls back and stares down at himself. “There’s blood on me.”

It’s mine. We both know it.

He grips the side of his head and falls on his ass. “I’m a fucking monster .”

Our Mistress looks torn between who she should tend to first.

“You’re not a monster, Alex. Just like you’re not a machine.” I sit up a little more. “Consensual non consent is okay for us.”

“Fucking hell, I…” He glances up at the camera and shame drains the color from his face.

“Don’t look at them,” I say, wincing as I sit all the way up. “Look at me.”

“I can’t.”

That hurts more than anything. “I knew what I was doing, pushing you like that, Vault. I was prepared for the consequences.”

“I took you,” he says. “I hurt you.”

“Hey, I got a few good swings in.” My joke doesn’t land the way I’d hoped. “Next time, we’ll be more prepared.”

“There isn’t going to be a next time.” He shoves up to his feet and storms into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

“That was too much, too soon,” Sophie scolds. “We’re supposed to take baby steps.”

“Fuck that noise.” I stand up and, whoa, yeah, everything hurts. “He’s gone slow his whole life, and it hasn’t helped him. He stays stagnant in his comfort zone, putting all his effort into the pleasure of someone else. It’s time he takes back his power and gives himself a little pleasure, too.”

Her brow pinches. I think I’ve insulted her.

“It’s not that what you give him isn’t enough.” Shit, I’m an idiot. “But I just… we’re…” Fuuuuuck. I’ve messed up.

“No, no, I get it.” Sophie steps away. “I completely understand.”

“Soph.”

“Can I comfort you at least?” She sounds desperate.

I don’t want to burden her. Not on top of everything that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours. “I’m fine.”

Dejected, her cheeks redden. I can feel her mentally retreating away from me. From us. I’m torn between soothing her and going after Vault. Juggling two partners at once isn’t always easy.

“Go,” she says, hugging herself.

“Sophie, I… ”

“Go, Knox. He needs you.”

Does that mean she doesn’t ? Falling back into a comfortable mindset, I submit. “Is that an order, Mistress?”

“Yes.” She wraps the bedsheet around her body and walks towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Jesus, is she abandoning ship already?

“I’m just going to grab us something from the kitchen.”

“We can order room service.”

“No. This room doesn’t offer full service.”

That’s a lie. Every room in the Monarch is full fucking service if it’s for Sophie. But I let her leave because I can’t tear myself in half to comfort both of them at the same time when they’re in completely opposite directions, both mentally and physically.

Besides… I no longer have anything left to hold myself together with.