Page 34

Chapter thirty-four

Phantom and Blade have their med bags with them when they step into the room.

Wraith and Crow settle me on the bed while Sprinkles and Kiwi remove my boots.

“Once they have you stitched, you can clean up. I’ll send a prospect up here to help you get in the shower. Doubt you want one of the club girls helping,” Wraith says.

“Prospect,” I groan, using the little strength I have to straighten up against the headboard.

The last thing I want is to go home looking like I do. It’ll worry my girls unnecessarily. I’m here, I’m fucking breathing, and my brothers are still standing at my back.

I’d say I’m fucking lucky.

Even if I did get my ass handed to me out there.

I’m out of breath by the time Phantom and Blade finish doing all their doctoring shit.

“Fuck,” I grumble, sliding down to rest my head on the pillows.

“Brother, maybe we should have Bailee come here. She can bring Lyric, and they can nurse you back to health here,” Wraith suggests.

“No,” I growl, struggling to sit up again.

“Steel, you ain’t in no fucking shape to ride back home.”

“Will be tomorrow. Just give me my phone and some pain meds. Be good to go then.”

“Sure?”

“Fuckin’ said I was.”

“Fuck, you’re growly about her,” he says, his lips twitching.

“Oh, fuck off,” I growl, which only makes him laugh.

“I’ll send Prospect Jordan up here to help out.”

“Great. That damn alley cat.”

Wraith lifts a brow. “I can always get Prospect Keaton. Make him clean up the mess he made of your face.”

“Alley cat is fine.” I close my eyes. “Just want to get cleaned up.”

I’d assumed they cleared out after Wraith ordered everyone to go and let me rest, but when I catch the sound of fabric moving against something, my eyes snap open and my hand scrambles for a weapon I no longer have.

“Whoa, big guy. Just me,” Kiwi says softly. “Just bringing your cut back to you.”

“Thank you.”

“Rest up. You got a little one depending on you. How’s her bitch of a mama? Still in rehab?”

“Yeah,” I grunt.

“Good. How’d you manage that?” she asks, checking over the work that Phantom and Blade did.

“Knows she doesn’t have much of a choice.”

“Is Lyric okay?”

“She’s with Bailee.”

“Bailee, huh?” she teases.

“Prettiest thing I ever did see,” I murmur, drifting off.

“Love looks good on you, big guy,” she whispers.

I try to answer her, but sleep pulls me under.

Something brushes against my arm, and the feeling sets off alarms. I’m fully awake in an instant, and my fingers are wrapped around the throat in front of me.

“It’s me, brother,” someone chokes out. “It’s Jordan.”

Blinking, his face swims into focus.

“Shit,” I grumble, removing my fingers from around his neck. “Sorry.”

“It’s all good,” he croaks, rubbing his neck. “Shouldn’t have touched you. I know better than that.”

“Just a little jumpy when I’m sleepin’,” I admit.

His eyes are curious, but he knows better than to ask questions.

Not that he’d get shit out of me anyway.

Especially about that .

Ain’t no one’s business but mine and my woman’s.

“Came to help you wash up,” he finally says.

“Joy,” I grumble, sliding my legs around to the edge of the mattress.

“You don’t have anything I ain’t got.”

“Mine’s bigger and prettier. Hate to make you jealous.”

His eyes widen, unused to me making jokes, before he breaks out into a chuckle. “I’m sure I’ll live,” he replies, sliding his shoulder under my arm.

Jordan guides me to the bathroom, leaning me against the counter of the sink so that he can get the water going for me.

Fucking hate being so goddamn helpless, but there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to lean over and turn it on.

Once he has the water set, Jordan turns back to me. “You need help getting undressed?”

I grind my jaw, the pain shooting up my face and behind my eyes. “No. Can undress myself. Just need you in case my fuckin’ body decides to give out.”

“Gotcha.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I’ll just stand over here while you shower.”

“Grab me some clothes, would you?”

“Sure thing. Yell out if you need me.”

It takes me a while to get my briefs off, but I manage it. The short distance to the shower is fucking painful. Sharp stabs of agony spear through different parts of my body. It’s as if someone is taking a hot poker and holding it to me.

The shower takes longer than it normally would because every move I make has fire licking along my skin.

Thankfully, Jordan set my clothes on the counter so I ain’t got to walk in there with my balls swinging.

Not that I’d give a shit normally, but ever since that shit with Heather, I’ve felt fucked-up about being naked around anyone other than my Hummingbird.

It’s a workout on its own getting those clothes on, and I’m fucking exhausted and ready to sleep by the time I do.

As much as I probably need the help, I refuse to be weak enough to call for it.

I need to prove to myself that I’m not. That I can handle getting my ass beat and still do what needs to be done.

Using the walls to hold my weight, I stagger out of the bathroom and into my room. Jordan is propped up against the wall and comes to attention when he sees me stepping out. He starts my way, but I wave a hand at him.

I let out a groan when I finally make it to the bed and slither into it.

“Kiwi left some more meds on your nightstand. She said you can have another before you go to bed but not to take any more for at least four to six hours if you can help it,” Jordan explains, nodding to the bottle of water and little cup of white pills.

“Thanks,” I say, shaking two out into my palm and popping them into my mouth.

“Do you need me for anything?”

I grab my phone and shake my head. “No. Lock the door behind you.”

He doesn’t say anything else, which is just as well since my attention is tuned into getting hold of my woman.

“Steel?” Bailee answers. “Are you okay?”

Her voice is anxious, relaying her concern for me.

“Fine, baby girl.”

“You don’t sound it. When are you coming home?”

“Tomorrow.”

“You’re not okay,” she says sharply, knowing that I told her I’d be home tonight. “I shouldn’t have let you go there without me. Did you tell them?”

“Found out on their own. Fuckin’ forgot about the cameras,” I admit.

“Oh, crap,” she whispers. “Please tell me everything is okay between you and them.”

“Yeah, baby girl,” I rumble. “Listen, you and Lyra gonna be okay tonight? Since they know about you, I’ll get a couple prospects to sit on the house.”

“We’ll be okay, bossman. I got the gun.”

I can tell from her tone that she’s lying. She’s not good or okay with being there alone.

“Don’t care. Need my guys on you now that they know.”

“You can’t come home to us?” she asks quietly. “I don’t feel comfortable being around men I don’t know.”

“If that’s what you want, Hummingbird, I’ll be home,” I tell her.

“Can you drive?”

“You want me home,” I stress, “then I’ll make it happen. Don’t worry about how.”

“I want you home,” she admits in a whisper.

“Then you’ll have me. Be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you. Love you,” she rushes out before hanging up.

I shove her words to the back of my mind since I can’t respond to them right now anyway.

Shooting off a quick message to Jordan, I tell him to get back up here because I need him. He must assume that something happened to me because he doesn’t waste any time in getting back to my room.

“It’s me,” he says, following the knock on the door.

“Come in,” I tell him, knowing he’s got a spare key like most brothers do.

When he steps through, I dive right into it. “Need your help. Grab my cut, a pair of socks, and my boots.”

Jordan gathers everything I requested and brings it over to the bed. “Need help with anything?”

“Need you to take me home. Goin’ to have to use the cage. No way in hell I’ll be able to sit up on a bike,” I tell him as I slide my socks on.

It expends more energy than I’m fucking expecting, and my breathing is sharp by the time I’m done.

Fuck, getting my ass kicked sucks.

“You sure you need to be going anywhere?”

“Don’t matter what I need right now. My woman needs me home.”

“Gotcha,” he says, and I know that he does because I’ve spotted him with that one of his that he doesn’t think anyone knows about.

“Dammit,” I growl, struggling to fit my boot over my foot.

“Let me, brother.” He grabs it and squats in front of me. “Lift your foot.”

Jordan slides the boot on, being careful not to jar my beaten body. Once we have them both on, he helps me stand. Then he passes over my phone, wallet, the medicine Kiwi left, and my keys. I shove them into various pockets before giving him a nod to let him know I’m all set.

“Last time, RC. You sure you want to travel? It’s not going to be fun.”

There are only a few who shorten my officer position when they need to emphasize whatever it is they’ve got to say.

“Said I was. Meant what I said.”

“Right. Let’s do this then. I’ll let you lead, that way you can let me know when you need my help.”

I take my time as we descend the stairs. The fuzziness in my head from the pain meds makes the trip even more tedious because the last thing I fucking need is to take a tumble. I’d never make it home to Bailee and Lyric.

The party is raging when I get down there, but I barely pay it any mind. It’s not my concern seeing as I have no plans on joining them in the debauchery taking place. My only priority is getting home to my girls.

“Oh my god.”

The loud screech pierces my eardrums, causing me to wince as it sends sharp stabs of pain through my head.

Rachel bounds over, jerking to a stop in front of me. “Oh, my poor baby,” she croons, her hand aiming for my battered face.

I jerk away from her, the thought of her touching me sending me into a slight panic.

“Don’t,” I bark. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”

“What?” she asks, her brow furrowing. “Let me just check on you, baby. I know you’re hurting. Let me make it all better.”

“Stop fucking callin’ me that. Told you before, ain’t your anything. Got no fuckin’ claim on me. Never will. Stop actin’ like it.”

Normally, a woman’s watery eyes make me uncomfortable, but most of those women don’t have the evil glint in their eyes like she does, telling me they’re pure manipulation. Heather used to do that shit all the time, and it makes me sick to my fucking stomach.

“You’re mine,” she says, her eyes sparking with that dangerous edge again.

How the fuck did I miss this in her before?

“Crazy bitch,” I mutter. “I’m not yours. Keep this shit up and you’ll be out of the club.”

Rachel’s eyes dim until they’re empty, and she nods with a hard swallow. “You’re right. I apologize.” She lowers her head in a submissive move. “It won’t happen again, Steel.”

I have a hard time believing that, but I step around her anyway, dismissing her from my mind.

Wraith stops us by the door. “Where are you going, brother?”

“Home to my woman and kid.” He opens his mouth to say something, but I interrupt whatever speech he’s about to give. “Look, I’ll bring Lee here tomorrow. We’ll have the fuckin’ pictures.”

Wraith nods. “I hear you. Be careful going home, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I reply, scooting around him and out the door.

Jordan doesn’t talk much on the way to my place. Not that I expected him to. Most people know there’s only a select few I’ll carry on long conversations with, and he isn’t one of them. The familiar scenery soothes the anxiety of being cooped up in this fucking cage.

Rolling down the window, I lean my head through the opening, letting the cool air rush over me. If I close my eyes, it’s close enough to the way it feels on my bike that I can trick my mind into believing that’s what I’m doing.

I must have fallen asleep with my damn head out the window because the next thing I know, Jordan is putting the cage in park and carefully waking me up to get the code to my gate. He punches in the code that I change every couple days and the tall gates swing open. Thankfully, the driveway to my place is paved smoothly so my body isn’t being jarred too much.

As soon as he pulls in front of the house and shuts the engine off, I’m working my way out of this fucking thing. I don’t want to be inside it any longer than I need to be. I’d never ride in that fucking thing if I could help it. The only reason I’m able to stand the Bronco is because I’ve had it modified for the roof to come off.

Now that I got my girl full-time, though, I’ll be using that damn cage more than I want to. But it’s a sacrifice I’m happy to make.

Jordan helps me up the stairs and holds me up on the porch while I use my phone to deactivate my alarm system. As soon as I push open the door, I hear the double clicks of the pistol as Bailee racks the slide, and I know that if we move any farther without announcing ourselves, one of us will end up full of holes.

“Just me, Hummingbird. Stand down.”

“Oh, thank god,” she cries softly.

The door opens wider and then her beautiful, terrified face is right in front of me. She marches over and steps into me. I grit my teeth as pain zaps through me from the unexpected jarring of my body, but no way in hell am I going to fucking complain about it. I love the feel of her heat against me. It lets me know she’s here, she’s safe, and she’s fucking breathing. That’s all I’ll ever need. Because a world without her is a fucking dark one, and now that she’s bringing me into the light, I don’t think I’d survive being shoved back into the shadows. Not when it comes to my life with her.

“Let’s get inside, baby girl. Don’t need to be exposed too much out here.” I turn to Jordan. “Thanks for the ride. You can head back. We’ll be there tomorrow. I’ll grab my bike then. Be careful going back, Prospect.”

“If it’s okay with you, Steel, I’d like to sit on the house tonight, make sure you all are good.”

My respect for the alley cat grows as he shows his need to look out for another member without being ordered.

I nod. “If you wish. Call my phone if you need anything or if you spot something that shouldn’t be there.”

“You got it.” He nods at Bailee. “Ma’am.”

Bailee smiles at him. “Thanks for bringing him home to us. Please make sure to come in if you need anything.”

Fucking love the way she’s claiming this home as hers.

“Thank you,” he says before sliding out the door.

I lock up behind him, double-checking the alarm before letting Bailee guide me into the kitchen.

“I need to see you before I help you to bed,” she says softly.

She gets me situated on a stool before flicking on the light. As soon as it lands on me, I wince, and she lets out a sharp gasp.

“Jericho. Oh, god.” She steps between my thighs, her fingers drifting lightly over my face. “They did a number on you.”

“Beat my ass,” I admit with a chuckle.

My fingers tighten on her hips when her eyes water.

“It’s not funny,” she chokes out.

“I’m fine, baby girl. Not the first time I’ve had my ass kicked. Doubt it’ll be the last in this lifetime.”

“Don’t. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Babe,” I say, moving one of my hands to cup her chin and lift her face so I can peer into it more. “Need you to listen to me. This lifestyle ain’t for the faint of heart. We already had this discussion. You want to be with me, you need to be able to handle the shit that comes with it. That means there are goin’ to be times when I might come home broken and bleedin’. I need an Old Lady who can stomach that. I’d like for you to be that, but not goin’ to change what the hell I do to have you. That’d be changin’ the core of who I am, baby girl. Hope I know you enough to know you’d not want that for me.”

She grabs my beard and tightens her hold, sending tingles of pain through my face. “Fucking stop. You know I’m here. I’m in this. I can freaking worry about it, dick. Just because you’re a macho man badass who’s going to come home to me now and then with some marks I’m going to have to clean up doesn’t mean I’m going to run. Violence has always been a part of my life. I was born into it, bossman. Stop trying to coddle me ‘cause I don’t need it. Let me freak the hell out when you come home barely alive and then let me kiss you better and we’ll be good to go. But don’t ever make me squash what I’m feeling to appease you. We’ll never make it if you do that.” She tugs gently so that she has my attention. Not that it ever moved from her. “Do you understand?”

“Hear you, beautiful.”

“Good.” She leans down and lightly brushes her lips across mine. “Are you hungry? Do you need me to make you anything?”

“Just need you in my arms,” I admit gruffly, dropping my hands to her ass and pulling her tighter to me.

I rest my head between her tits and breathe her in as she runs her fingers through my hair.

The way I need this woman, the way I crave her, it’s fucking scary. She’s the one I’d go to fucking war for. The one I’d gladly bleed for. The one I’d give my last breath to if it meant she got to breathe just a bit longer in this world. Don’t plan on ever going anywhere, but this life I live, my days can be numbered. All it takes is one enemy that I don’t see coming.

Instead of running from what she makes me feel, I should be cherishing it, shoving it inside, and basking in it until I’m no longer able to.

“I never should’ve come here,” she says, sniffling. “This entire mess is my fault. I have people who could’ve helped me.”

Pulling back, I push her away enough that she’ll look down at me. “Stop that shit. I did all this because I give a fuck about you. Wouldn’t have done shit if I didn’t. Stop puttin’ it all on your shoulders. I’m a goddamn adult and can make my own decisions. You do have people who could help, but this is the life I’m in, baby girl. This is the life I know. Killer isn’t someone who’s goin’ to be easy to take on. Not for us and definitely not for anyone not familiar with the way we live.”

“But—”

“No fuckin’ buts. It’s the way it is. Not goin’ to let you put this on yourself. You don’t need that burden. Hear me?”

“I hear you,” she mumbles.

“Thank fuck,” I growl, sliding my hand to her jaw and pulling her to me for a quick kiss. “There’s also something else I want to let you know.” Worry lines appear between her brows, and I rub them away. “Heather reached out to me from rehab. I don’t know how she was able to get a phone to text on because she’s not supposed to have it. It was part of the stipulation when I signed her in. No way to contact anyone in the outside world other than me and Lyric, and that had to be done from an office phone so the doctors could monitor it. It’s not foolproof, but it works as much as it can. Or it should have. Don’t worry about it. Not goin’ to let her fuck with my kid more than she already has.”

“Thank, god. If you witnessed the despondency, pain, and anger inside her that I did, Steel, you’d be ready to do more than send Heather to rehab. It took all we had to get her to eat. The only time I saw any form of life inside that beautiful girl was when I took her outside and let her scream her anger out to the world. She had so much built up in her, and it scares me to know how long she’s been letting it pile on her shoulders without telling you or anyone else.”

I drop my head back to her chest and let out a sigh. “My girl’s ate shit for so long, Lee. Should’ve pulled her outta her mama’s life a while ago, but I could see the hope she carried inside that her mama would one day love her the way she needed to be loved by her. I was failin’ her long before Heather did.”

Bailee tugs my head back lightly again so I have to peer up into her fierce face. “Stop. You’ve done the best you could at protecting her. You were trying to give her the one thing you knew she desperately wanted. Yes, it blew up in the end and left Lyric struggling to comprehend a lot of shit about her mom. That girl has so much love in her. And do you know where she gets that from? Not her mama. That’s all you, bossman.”

“You’re good with her. Don’t know if I told you that or not. You give her something she was searchin’ for inside a broken woman. You show her what unconditional love is, and I don’t think I could ever repay you for the way you make her smile and laugh.”

“It’s not something I’d ever want to be compensated for anyway. When I call her my heart song, that’s because it’s what she is. She didn’t have to be my blood for me to fall completely in love with her.”

“Want something honest?” I ask.

“It’s all I’ll ever want from you.”

“Wasn’t sure you’d be able to love her.”

It’s one of the darker thoughts I had, and it worries me now that it’s been said out loud.

Bailee’s brows clench together, and the astonishment in her eyes makes me feel like an idiot for even thinking that of her.

“Why in the world would you think that?”

“Because. I know we weren’t exclusive or even talked about it. Hell, I hadn’t even fucked her for about a month before me and you started our thing back then. But I know you findin’ out that I was havin’ a kid with her hurt you.”

“Of course, it hurt me, but Jericho, I’d never take that out on an innocent child. She played no part in how or when she was conceived. Did it make it seriously freaking hard for me at first? Absolutely. I wouldn’t be human if it didn’t. But I was so na?ve and looking for love in the wrong place. I let you string me along because I loved you stupid. That wasn’t your problem, though, it was mine. You never made promises to me.”

“Could’ve stayed the fuck away instead of comin’ back anytime me and Heather split up. Only added to your pain doing that.”

“You did, and yeah, you could have. But I also could’ve turned you away. Will you be honest about something else with me?”

“‘Course I will.”

“Was there ever a time you were with me and her at the same time? Like, were you in an active relationship with her any of those times you came to me?”

“Fuck no. Wouldn’t do that to you. Hell, wouldn’t do it to either of you, no matter how many men she was fuckin’ behind my back. I may have been a toxic asshole back then with you, but I wasn’t so immoral that I’d fuck around on someone I was in a relationship with.”

Bailee drops her forehead to mine and closes her eyes. “Then there’s nothing about our past that can’t be forgiven. You didn’t cheat, at least not from my viewpoint. You fucked with me hard without plans for a future, but that’s about it.”

“Did care about you then, Hummingbird. Need you to know that.”

“I do know it. I knew it then too. You did what needed to be done for your girl. As much as I did for a long time, I’d never actually fault you for that.”

“You needed someone to aim your pain at. Me bein’ in the crosshairs was understandable.”

My eyes fall closed as exhaustion weighs heavily on my shoulders.

“Come on, bossman. Let’s get you in bed. Thankfully, our Princess is already sound asleep, so she doesn’t have to see you like this tonight and be mad at her uncles. We’ll figure out what to tell her tomorrow.”

“The truth,” I murmur. “I always do.”

“Then we’ll tell her the truth,” she agrees, helping me to my feet and guiding me out of the kitchen.

I should have mentioned Rachel’s bullshit to her, but I just don’t have the energy. Don’t even know if it’s a good idea to anyway. She’s nothing I can’t handle, and all it’ll do is hurt Bailee when she doesn’t need to be. Rachel doesn’t mean shit to me. She knows that now, and she apologized. Now, she’ll finally leave me the fuck alone and sink her claws into someone who wants them there.

Hopefully.