Page 24

Chapter twenty-four

Didn’t really notice how damn exhausted I am until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning. The tightness around the corners of my eyes, the firmness to my lips beneath my beard and mustache, and the overall weariness in my expression spoke volumes.

With all the shit I’m dealing with, I’m burning the goddamn candle at both ends. It doesn’t help that Heather’s got some fucked-up shit in her head that’s causing her to bring toxicity to my life again.

I’m not fucking innocent, know that, but I don’t control her actions either. She’s a grown ass woman.

The only bright light in all this is my two girls. Spending time with Lyric and Bailee was much more than I expected. Watching those two together settled something inside me that I didn’t realize was unsettled. As much as riding my bike brings me peace, there is a contentedness when we’re all together that I can’t recall ever experiencing before.

It’s been days since I’ve seen my Hummingbird, and I miss the fuck out of her.

When I pull up to the clubhouse after a long fucking morning chasing after leads and shit with Crow and the others, the last thing I want to deal with is Heather’s ass, but considering she’s pacing back and forth in front of the damn gate, I got no choice. I need to do it fast too because I don’t need her causing too much of a scene around here about Bailee. Don’t know what she knows about her, but her being here is never a good thing, and I knew when I introduced Bailee to Lyric that there was a chance Heather would find out because I wasn’t gonna ask my kid to lie to her mom for me.

Heather doesn’t know about Bailee’s connection to the club. At least, I don’t think so. It’s not a chance I can take, though.

I stop at the gate and wave the others through while I deal with Heather. Crow and Tweek stop beside me, staring Heather down as she stands next to her car with her arms folded over her chest, her eyes narrowed, and her foot tapping away, showing her impatience.

“Got this, brothers.”

Crow’s lip curls up in a snarl at Heather before they roll on through the gate. Once they’re through, I shut my bike down and straddle it as I watch her movements. They’re all too familiar—the twitching hands, the way she’s unable to stay still, the way her eyes flit around—and unease churns in my stomach.

I use the heel of my boot to pull the kickstand down and climb from my bike, marching over to stand in front of her. I pinch her chin between my fingers and lift her face so I can get a better look at her eyes.

There’s no sign of recent substance abuse in them, but the other signs are obvious, so I’m not discounting the fact that she’s been using again. She may not be high right now, but she’s craving and going through withdrawals, which means she’s been back on the shit since our talk.

“When’d you use?” I growl.

She yanks her face out of my hold and scowls at me. “Don’t worry. I didn’t touch it when your precious daughter was with me. I know what happens if I’m stupid enough to do that.”

“Why you here? Lyric okay?”

“Of course, she is. I’m not a bad mom.” She rubs her arms roughly as she starts pacing in front of her car again then swings back around, pointing her finger at me. “She told me all about Bee. How they painted each other’s toes and nails and watched movies together. All night long, I had to listen to my daughter brag about another woman trying to take over my spot in yours and Lyric’s lives. It’s not happening.”

“Get in your car and go home.”

Heather’s eyes widen at the roughness in my voice. “What?”

“I said, get in your fuckin’ car and go home. I’ll be right behind you. You got shit to say and don’t need people in my business.”

She glances around and a sly smirk flirts around her lips that should have warned me, but I’m so pissed that I don’t pay any attention to it.

“Fine.”

I make sure she’s down the road before heading over to the prospect manning the gate. “Prospect,” I bark, grabbing his attention from whatever he’s watching on the monitor.

Prospect Jordan glances up and pierces me with his dark eyes. “Sir.”

“Let Wraith know I’ll be back. Got shit to handle with my girl’s mom. The woman doesn’t come in without me. Understood?”

He gives a sharp nod. “Understood.”

Jordan, Poe, and Marcus came to the club together, and other than Keaton and Axel, I think they’re going to be some of the best prospects we’ve had at the club since Jagger was patched in. They all come from shit backgrounds with stories they haven’t been ready to share yet. There was something we saw in each of them that we saw in ourselves, which made the choice to allow them to prospect pretty fucking easy. Only time will tell whether they have the balls to become patched members or not.

Got faith, though. This life ain’t easy, but those boys ain’t ever known what that was to begin with.

It doesn’t take me long to catch up with Heather.

As much as I want to rip her a fucking new asshole, I keep my shit locked down ‘til we’re behind closed doors. Don’t need any problems for Lyric around here.

I glance at the time on my phone. Won’t be long before my girl is coming home from school, and I want to get gone so I can get my cage and get back here to grab her. Not comfortable leaving her here knowing Heather’s used again recently. Fucking hate it’s come down to me having to end up going for custody, but no way am I taking the chance something happens to my kid because her mom’s too high out of her mind to take care of her properly.

“Not sure why I got to keep repeatin’ myself with you. You don’t fuckin’ own me, Heather. The only spot you got in my life is the role of my kid’s mom. What I do, who I fuck, who I choose to have in my life, you don’t get a goddamn say. You know why Lyric was braggin’ ‘bout Bee to you and the shit she did with her? ‘Cause she took time to pay attention to our girl. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Lyric is fuckin’ starvin’ for your attention. You ever paint her nails? Because I can’t remember a time you did.” She doesn’t answer, just stares at me with fire raging in her eyes. “That’s what I thought. Stop worryin’ about me and start worryin’ about your fuckin’ daughter. Don’t love you, Heather, but our daughter does. Focus on that. I’m not yours. It’s time to let it the fuck go.”

The laugh that comes from her is abrasive.

“When are you going to learn, Steel? You’ve always been mine. From the first moment we met. You and me were always meant to be. We were always meant to be connected together. Bee doesn’t get to have you.”

Her eyes brighten and take on a manic light as she stares at me, and alarm bells go off in my head. Her words bounce around in there as my mind latches onto them and begins deciphering their meaning.

My body locks up tight as they register.

Flexing my fingers, I plant my legs wide as I hold myself steady on the wave of rage that rushes over me. “Heather,” I say, a deep tone to my voice that has her coming to a still and paying attention, “twice the condoms broke when we were fuckin’ before Lyric was conceived. Shit’s never happened to me in all the goddamn years I been fuckin’.”

Heather folds her arms over her chest and lifts her chin. “If you want to know something, Steel, just ask me.”

“The fuck you do?”

When she smiles, a shudder travels up my spine.

“Oh, well, I snuck into your wallet after that first time we had sex.” She wrinkles her nose. “You were really drunk—for some reason, I think it had to do with Emmy Lou—so it was pretty easy to dig through your wallet and the condoms you had in there. Then I made sure to keep myself accessible to you, so you’d use them with me and no one else. I did the same to the ones I bought.” She smiles wider. “I bought the same kind. Of course, I didn’t do it to all of them. It’d be too suspicious if they all broke every time we made love. We got lucky, though, because they only had to break twice before I became pregnant with Lyric.”

It starts with the pounding in my ears as I stare at the fucking stupid-ass happy smile on her face. An increased amount of blood travels to my extremities, sending adrenaline rushing through my system.

I stare at this woman I’ve spent the better part of the last seven years with, and I have no fucking clue who the hell she is.

“You trapped me?” I ask in a soft voice.

The smile fades from her face, and her throat tightens as she swallows hard. “It’s not like that, Steel. We’re meant to be together. I had to make sure you knew that, and it worked. You love Lyric. Look at all the time we had together because of it.”

Cracking my neck from side to side, I keep staring at her. “You fuckin’ trapped me.”

This fucking bitch.

Heather rolls her eyes with a huff. “Stop being dramatic, Steel. I didn’t trap you. I made sure we would always be together.”

“You’re fuckin’ done,” I growl, clenching my fists so tightly that my nails pierce my skin.

She runs her fingers through her hair and lets out an acerbic laugh. “Go ahead. I’ll tell the club all about your precious Bailee.”

I must have given something away because she snickers again, poking her tongue out to wet her lips. “You didn’t think I’d recognize the name? No, you just thought I was that stupid. Did you think Lyric wouldn’t tell me what her name was when I asked, Steel? My daughter loves me. I’m her mom, not Bailee.”

Never thought there’d really be a day I’d consider putting my hands on the mother of my child, but today’s proving me wrong. If anything happens to Bailee because Heather chooses to be a bitch to get back at me, I don’t really think there’d be much that’d save either of us from my wrath.

Before I get time to think about my actions, my fingers wrap around her throat, ensnaring her, and I drag her to me. “Since you seemed to not be listenin’ when I talked before, I suggest you listen good now. Bailee’s name stays out of your mouth. You open it to anyone, ‘specially to my club, I’ll be takin’ Lyric from you and then I’ll put a bullet between your eyes without a second thought. Clear?”

Her tanned skin turns ashen, and her dull eyes spark with fear. When she doesn’t answer me, I tighten my fingers to cut off more of her airway. “You clear?” Heather nods, her expression confirming her belief in my words. I loosen my hold on her and fling her away from me. “I’ll be here to help you out ‘cause you’re my girl’s mom, but that’s where me and you end. Don’t know how many times I gotta tell you. Won’t do it again. You’re lucky I ain’t already taken Lyric after all the fuckups you’ve had with her. Only reason I ain’t is ‘cause she fuckin’ loves your ass. Despite my better judgment, you get one more chance. This is it, Heather. You fuck up again, she’s comin’ with me for good, and you’re gone to get help or out of her life.”

Tears fill her eyes and spill over as she wraps her twitching arms around herself. “You hate me.”

I close my eyes with a sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

Fuck. Just want to get the hell out of her space right now, but I need to get her calmed down before Lyric comes home because she’s going to have to deal with her until I get back over here with the cage.

“Don’t hate you, Heather. Just don’t feel shit for you at all,” I reply truthfully, popping my eyes back open to meet hers. “Clean yourself up. Goin’ to grab the cage. Make sure Lyra is ready when I get back.”

“It’s a school night,” she mutters.

“Don’t give a fuck. She’s comin’ with me, and I’ll get her to school in the morning. May not be high now, but you’ve been on something recently. Not lettin’ you take care of her overnight ‘til I get time to come back and go through the place.” She rolls her eyes with a huff, but I’m done dealing with her shit. “Get her shit ready.”

As if I didn’t have enough fucking problems already on my plate, now I’ve got to worry when or if she’s going to go against me anyway and open her mouth to the club about me and Bailee. Can only hope my threat will quell whatever damn urge she’s got under her skin and that her love for her daughter will hold her off.

If I hold my breath on any of it, afraid I’ll be dead before then.

The angry shout of my bike’s pipes carries me to my house, where I switch out for my Bronco. Thankfully, when I get back to Heather’s, she has Lyric’s duffel bag packed and waiting by the door. She tries to talk to me again, but I just ain’t got it in me to say anything more than what’s been said. Shit’s gonna get right between us or it ain’t. That’s all there is to it. I’d like to have a decent enough relationship with her for our daughter, but it won’t bother me any if we don’t have one at all.

Especially if it’s just more of her toxic brand of bullshit.

We both wait on the steps of her apartment as Lyric’s bus stops at the edge of the parking lot and begins letting the kids off.

Lyric is walking with another girl and a boy.

Folding my arms over my chest, I lean my hip against the railing as I observe her interactions with them. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to do this part of being her dad.

She and the girl seem to be pretty close. The boy . . . my lips twitch when I spot the surreptitious glances he keeps tossing my daughter. The little boy has a crush on her, and Lyric barely even recognizes him.

I straighten and narrow my eyes when I see her peek over at him and give him a small smile.

Nope. No. Didn’t see it. My little girl ain’t having a crush. Ain’t no way.

“Daddy,” Lyric screeches, yanking me from my thoughts.

Jogging down the steps, I meet her on the sidewalk, lifting her into a tight hug and placing a kiss on the top of her head before setting her back to her feet. “Hey, Princess. Good day at school?”

She smiles up at me as she slides her hand into mine. “The best.”

I listen to her tell me about her day at school as I lead us back up the walkway of the apartments. She barely takes a breath, so I only need to interject an ‘uh-huh’ and a ‘really’ here and there, even an occasional grunt. In the two minutes it takes us to reach Heather and Lyric’s duffel bag, she’s packed an entire day’s worth of activities, drama, and kiddie gossip into our conversation.

“What’s going on?” she asks when we stop in front of Heather.

Heather’s smile is stiff when she aims it at Lyric, then she flicks a glance at me before reaching out to hug her. Our daughter trembles and snuggles against her mom, that one small move conveying how much she misses that touch from her.

“You’re having a sleepover at your dad’s.”

Lyric glances between us, her brows drawn together. “But I have school tomorrow.”

“Goin’ to take you,” I tell her, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“But . . .” She peers at Heather, and her bottom lip wobbles.

Just that damn sight alone has me needing to break something.

Heather sighs, reaching down to pluck the duffel from the ground and holding it out to me. “That’s enough, Lyric. The dramatics aren’t needed. You’re going to your dad’s because I got shit to do.”

“Watch it,” I warn her, not liking the tone she’s taking with Lyric.

I’m half tempted to carve her fucking eyes out when she rolls them at me again. She must see it written on my face too because she wipes hers clean.

It’s easy to get Lyric to go after that. She’s already started to shut down, and I fucking hate it. Wish shit didn’t have to be this way. Wish she had an easier life. Unfortunately, this is the life she got when she got me as her father.

One thing I do know is that I need to make plans to get my two girls together again because after this disaster with Heather, Lyric is going to need someone other than me to show her that love she’s seeking from her mom but not finding. I thought at one time she was. I thought, at one time, that Heather actually loved her daughter. Hell, somewhere inside her, I do still think that.

I just hope I can help her find it before it’s too late and she loses the relationship with our daughter completely. Because I won’t allow her to continue to treat my girl like shit when all she wants is to be loved.