Page 28

Chapter twenty-eight

I hope something is done sooner rather than later, or I’m going to have no choice but to step in because I refuse to allow my beautiful girl to experience an ounce of the pain I did at her age.

I’m pulled from my thoughts when my phone rings and Emmy Lou’s name flashes on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey, lady. Got some things to go over with you,” Emmy Lou says.

“Please tell me you got something that will help us catch Killer.”

Emmy Lou sighs heavily, and papers rustle across the speaker. “Fuck, I wish we did. This Killer is a lot more elusive than we originally gave him credit for. We’ve not been able to find much on him, which is surprising. Steel has given us all the information he has on Killer, but it didn’t get us much further than we already were. There’s something Willow wants to run by you, though. I’ve got you on speaker.”

“Sure.”

“Hey, Bailee,” Willow greets.

“How are you, Low? How’s Deacon and Xander?” I ask, referring to her husband and stepson.

“They’re doing great,” she replies, and I can detect the smile and love in her voice.

“So, what is it that you want to run by me?”

“All right. Emmy Lou already told you that we’ve not been able to get as much as we’d like on Killer. I don’t think we’re going to either without help. Help from people who have a better connection with his world than we or the Dirty Mavericks do.”

“Who are you thinking?” I ask.

“Desdemona. Thrasher’s mom. She runs the prison, and if anyone would know anything about Killer, it’d be her. That means Thrasher will find out. She doesn’t keep shit from her son, not after everything that happened with her daughters.”

My first reaction is to tell her absolutely not, but I’ve been protecting myself against this shit for so long, that no one else can protect me if it’s all I ever do.

Still, there’s no way I’m going to let Steel’s club brothers find out about any of this before he has the chance to tell them himself.

“No.”

“Lee, you can’t—”

“Sorry,” I interrupt Willow. “I meant, let me talk to Steel first so we can let the club know before they find out from anyone else.”

“You two still haven’t told them?” Emmy Lou barks. “Do you even understand the consequences of what can happen when they find out?”

My back straightens at her tone. I feel guilty enough without her throwing shit down my throat. “Look, I know we’ve known each other a long time and that Steel is your friend and I respect that. But you don’t know everything, Em, so don’t come at me in anger. I already feel like shit that they don’t know. Steel was the only person I trusted enough at first to protect me, but do you not think I can see the toll it’s been taking on him? There’s already been plans to bring the club in. He’s just been busy with club shit and hasn’t had the chance.”

“Do you know their rules?” Emmy Lou asks quietly, her anger gone and worry in its place.

“Not really,” I admit. “Things were never like that before with us. It’s only now that things are . . . different.”

“Never betray the club and protect each other at all costs,” Willow recites.

“What do you think him keeping this shit from them is?” Emmy Lou asks.

Oh, hell. Acid builds in my stomach as I think about it, and before long, I’m fighting it from traveling up the back of my throat.

Why didn’t he tell me how bad it would be? I knew. I’m not stupid, so I knew it wasn’t something they’d be happy about, but hell, I must be more na?ve than I thought if I seriously believed he would only get off with a slap on the wrist.

“Fuck,” I whisper. “I didn’t know.”

Emmy Lou sighs. “I know. It’s the only reason I’m not down your throat further than I am.”

The laugh I let out is brittle and filled with sharp edges. “Don’t let me off the hook, Emmy Lou. I knew they weren’t going to be happy about it, but I didn’t know they’d view it as a betrayal.”

“You have time to tell them. They love Steel. They’re going to know that he didn’t do it with ill intentions. At least, they better fucking not. He’s given them so much of his loyalty, they shouldn’t question it, but I also know they’ve had members, men they considered brothers, betray them in the worst ways over the last decade. This is going to be a blow, and I really hope you and Steel are both ready for the fallout.”

“I’ve got him no matter what. I’ll be sure they know this is on me. He would never have done it if I didn’t beg him to,” I reply to Emmy Lou.

“Steel is a big boy, Lee. He knew what he was doing when he agreed, so don’t play the martyr. Nobody cares for them. Just . . .” She blows out a quiet breath. “Just don’t let him face any of this on his own.”

“I’ve got him, Emmy Lou. I know he’s your best friend, but he’s the man I love. I’ve got him until I no longer do.”

“Good. Then you two need to sit down and figure out how to tell the club because if there’s anyone who’s going to get us the information we need on Killer without any casualties on our end, it’ll be Desdemona,” Willow says.

“Yeah, okay. I understand. I’ll make sure he gives you all a call once we’ve told them. That way, you all can get a visit in to her as soon as possible. I want this shit finished before anyone else ends up hurt because of it.”

An unfamiliar voice chimes in the background letting Emmy Lou and Willow know their client has arrived and is waiting for them in the conference room.

One of them sighs and replies before coming back to me. “All right. Business calls. Make it quick, Lee. There’s no telling when Killer will strike, and we want to hit him before he gets to hit you,” Emmy Lou says.

We say our goodbyes after I promise to talk with Steel soon. I’m not looking forward to having that talk with the club, but I am looking forward to maybe having a chance to finally be free of Killer. If Desdemona can get us that, then my discomfort means jack shit. Plus, now that I know the rules they live by, I can’t stomach letting Steel keep this from them any longer. If he loses that part of his life, I’m going to be the one to blame, and my heart can’t take that. Because even if he says differently, resentment will build inside him until he’s looking at me as the enemy.

A knock on the apartment door startles me, but my shoulders drop when I hear the keys in the lock. As far as I know, Steel is the only other person who has keys. Sure enough, his familiar boots are the first thing through, and once he’s inside, his eyes find mine and they trek over me, making sure I’m in one piece before he marches over.

He doesn’t even say anything, just locks his hand around the front of my throat and drops his mouth to mine. Steel shoves his tongue inside, demanding me to play, and I give this man what he wants.

Right as I’m about to beg him for . . . something, he pulls back and rests his forehead against mine.

“Missed you,” he admits gruffly.

Well, if I wasn’t already madly fucking in love with him, this would have done it. Steel, or at least the version I used to have of him, wouldn’t willingly open himself up like that. He wouldn’t allow me to have that type of emotion from him.

“Missed you too, bossman,” I whisper, closing my eyes and soaking this closeness in.

After a few minutes, I pull back and peer up at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Come to get you. Lyric is at the house with a sitter. Comin’ to stay with us. Pack for a few days. Don’t know when I’m goin’ to bring you back here.”

“Everything okay?” I ask, lifting my hand to cup his cheek. “You look exhausted, Jericho.”

“Fuckin’ am, Hummingbird. Burnt the fuck out. Need you in my arms tonight.”

“Then you’ve got me.” I lift to my toes and brush my lips against his. “Let me go dump some clothes in a bag. What about work? Will you bring me back here? It really sucks not being able to have my own car right now.”

He aims a look my way. “Don’t actually have to work. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I do. I can’t go out and shoot pictures, which is what I really want to be doing. I already had to cancel too many appointments. Letting my clients down is something I’ve never done before, and I hate the way it makes me feel. So, there’s no way I’m leaving Reva high and dry. Plus, I like working here with the girls.”

He doesn’t say anything to that, just follows me to the room and takes a seat on the bed as I grab a duffel bag from the closet.

I talk to him about things that don’t really matter while I pack the bag, feeling like he needs a breather for just a second from all the crap that he’s been wading through between Killer and the stuff for his club. He doesn’t input much, not that I expect him to.

It’s gotten much quieter in the room when I come back from gathering some things from the bathroom, and I come to a halt when I notice Steel’s position on the bed.

My heart melts because if this was anyone else, I truly don’t think he’d have allowed himself to be vulnerable enough to fall asleep. Exhaustion weighs heavily on him, though, and even in his brief cat nap, I can see it on his face.

His shirt has lifted a little and one of his hands rests on the bare skin of his abdomen, his fingers sitting about half an inch inside his waistband. I follow the length of his other arm to see it sitting a few inches from the gun he must have pulled from behind him before lying back.

Okay, so not so vulnerable that he doesn’t allow himself a quick way to protect us straight from his sleep. As long as he doesn’t end up aiming it in my face, I ain’t even mad about it. Experience has taught me that doors only keep people out for so long. If they want in bad enough, they’ll find a way.

As much as I want to hurry and see my little heart song, I take my time, knowing her daddy needs to get a bit of rest. It won’t be much longer ‘til I’m reunited with the tiny version of Steel I’ve fallen in love with.

The front door of Steel’s place flies open as soon as he shuts off the bike. Then a whirlwind of long black hair and girlish squeals comes barreling toward us.

“Bee,” Lyric cries.

A delighted laugh tumbles from me as I scramble from the bike to catch my girl. Her body slams into mine, causing me to wince when the still-healing wound in my thigh pinches a bit.

“Gotta be easy with her, Princess,” Steel admonishes.

“Oops. I’m sorry, Bee. Didn’t hurt you, did I?” Lyric peers up at me with her sparkling green eyes.

Cupping her cheeks in my palms, I smile down at her. “Nothing a Tylenol can’t fix.” I glance over at Steel to find him watching us with so much warmth in his eyes, it makes my heart race. “Leave her be. I’m fine. A little pain ain’t keeping me from loving on my pretty little heart song.”

His face softens as he climbs from the bike. “Hear you, Hummingbird.”

Lyric stays curled into me, and I hide my smile at the disgruntled expression that comes over Steel’s face.

“Chopped liver over here or something, Princess?” he grumbles.

She looks up at me with twinkling eyes, and I know she’s fixing to twist her father’s leg. Lyric waves her hand in his direction. “Can you believe this guy? Two whole seconds while I hug a friend, and he already thinks I forgot him.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling and peer over at Steel as if I’m considering before glancing back down at her. “He’s something else, right?” I run my finger down her nose and give a soft tap to the tip while winking at her. “We should probably make sure he knows that he’s not easily replaced, huh?”

The heavy warmth of Steel’s eyes on me begs for me to look at him, but I keep my attention on Lyric, not ready to let him see the depth of my feelings for him. Lyric, however, is pretty freaking perceptive for her age because a knowing glint sparkles in her eyes. Considering who her father is, and some of the stories I heard about Heather, it’s not hard to see why. Steel is an amazing father, one of the best I’ve seen, but he doesn’t hide his lifestyle from her. Not that I expect him too. It’d probably be stupid to do that with how dangerous it can be.

Heather is a different story all together. Maybe that’s why I bonded and fell in love so quickly with Lyric. I know what it’s like to have a parent that’s shit. It’s not like Lyric made it hard to love her. Unlike her daddy, my heart song is the easiest person I’ve ever willingly given my heart to. That comes with its own onset of fear that I don’t even want to think about.

Lyric heaves a playful sigh, pulling me from my thoughts. “I guess.”

I could watch the two of them interact every day for the rest of my life. It’s some of the most beautiful moments I’ve ever witnessed, and I’m blessed that Steel finally chose to let me be part of them.

For the next hour, we spend time as a unit, sitting on the living room floor and playing Clue, which I found out was Lyric’s “most favorite game in the world”, as she put it .

She taps her pen against her paper and narrows her eyes at me as she debates whether to make her accusation. If she’s wrong, she knows she loses this round. There was a time that I thought I had a pretty good poker face, but apparently not when it comes to playing Clue with a freaking six-year-old mind reader. Lyric has won each round. At first, I thought Steel was letting her win, but I quickly realized that wasn’t the case at all when he would get that confused expression on his face. He couldn’t believe his child was actually kicking his ass, and it was hilarious to see.

This round is down to me and her, and while I’m pretty sure I know who did it, with what, and in what room, I can’t be too positive, so I’ve been holding out.

I chew on my lip as I narrow mine right back. Triumph sparks in her eyes, and her mouth curves in a slow smile as she reaches out to the middle of the board and grabs the little manila envelope holding the three cards.

“Miss Scarlet in the conservatory with the rope,” she says, bouncing up and down on her knees while she waits on me and her father to prove her wrong.

When we both shake our heads with a smile, she squeals and yanks the cards from the envelope with a dramatic flourish. Steel and I glance at each other, and I know when he winks at me that we’re about to be over-the-top dramatic for her sake.

“This isn’t fair,” I whine. “You’ve got to be cheating. You’ve got extra cards hidden somewhere, don’t you?”

She giggles, shaking her head. “Nope. I’m just good.”

“Smellin’ lies here, Princess,” Steel says, tapping his nose.

“Your nose has been broken before, Daddy. Not reliable.”

Why surprise always crosses this man’s face when his daughter comes back at him with such sass, when she is just like him , I will never understand .

“You little . . .” he growls playfully, hopping around the table and beginning a tickle campaign.

Her laughter is infectious, and as much as I want to watch them, I’d rather soak up the sound of their love for each other more, so I lean back on my palms and close my eyes.

The difference in their bond and the one I had with my father is so startling that the little girl inside me weeps for something she never got to have. The adult me is just glad that this beautiful little girl does, at least from her father.

I wonder if Steel would be open to me talking to him about Heather and Lyric’s relationship or if it’s still taboo. This thing between us is new, and as much as us being together as a couple scares me, losing him and essentially Lyric terrifies me a thousand times more. What if I bring it up and he’s not receptive to it?

“Daddy, you promised to do the face masks with me tonight.”

My eyes pop open at Lyric’s words, and I stare at the crimson flush that spreads over Steel’s cheeks.

No. Freaking. Way.

Is my big, badass biker . . . blushing?

It’s freaking adorable.

“That I did. Go get the stuff,” he tells her.

As soon as she runs out of the room, I crawl over to where he is and slide into his lap, tossing my arms over his shoulders and staring down into his face.

“Have I told you how much I love that you love your daughter?” I murmur.

His hands grip the sides of my ass cheeks. “No, but goin’ to tell you how much I love that you love her.”

I brush my lips over his. “It’s not like it’s a hardship. Lyric is one of the easiest people to love.”

“My girl, she ain’t ever had someone like you in her life.”

Even as I don’t want it to, my mind drifts to Emmy Lou, and I tuck my lip between my teeth so I don’t say anything.

Steel sighs, reaching up to pull it out. “Don’t know where your head went, Hummingbird. She’s got a good relationship with Em, but it ain’t like this. Never has been.” Then he aims an intensely heated look straight at me. “Not for either of us.”

I think, for the first time, I believe his words. It’s rare that I get moments like this with Steel, so I don’t take it for granted. Instead, I snuggle closer and bury my face in his neck. He grunts when I wiggle around because of the bulge resting under my ass, but it’s something we both ignore as that’s not what this moment is about for us.

Truthfully, he seems to have a need for this non-sexual closeness tonight as much as I do.

That’s how we stay until we hear Lyric’s tiny feet barreling toward us from the hall. Then he grabs my chin in his hand and gives me a quick heated kiss before helping me from his lap.

I sit across from them, stealthily recording from my phone because I’ve never witnessed something so profoundly enchanting as my big, beautiful biker getting a facial from his little girl. It’s a memory I want to always have because one day it’s all we’ll ever have left of someone. These two . . . I never want to forget a moment with them.

“Bailee, are you fuckin’ recordin’ this?” Steel growls, glaring at me through the eye holes of the face mask.

I chew on the inside of my cheek, doing my best not to snicker at him trying to pretend to be angry, but the way his beard moves from his lips curling into a smile tells me he’s not really mad. So, I stick my tongue out at him, not missing the way his eyes heat at the move.

No one can say we don’t have some awesome chemistry, that’s for freaking sure.

Another hour passes full of warmth and laughter before Steel is declaring bedtime. The routine is quick as it’s something they’ve done so many times over the years. As soon as Steel has Lyric rolled tightly like a burrito in her blanket, her head lulls to the side as her eyes settle on me standing just inside the door.

“You’ll be here in the morning?”

“I’ll be here,” I reply quietly. “Blueberry or chocolate chip pancakes?”

“Chocolate chip!”

I turn to Steel to ask him silently if all the supplies are in there, and he gives a nod in confirmation, so I turn back to her with a smile. “Absolutely. A whole stack of them just for you.”

“Yay,” she says sleepily, her eyes fluttering quickly as she fights sleep. “Love you, Bee.”

Water fills my eyes as my breathing backs up in my lungs. My heart races so quickly that I swear it’s going to come right out of my chest. This little girl and her father have so much power over me and neither of them know it.

“Love you too, my beautiful little heart song,” I whisper, blowing her a kiss.

Steel grabs my hand, entwining his fingers with mine, and leads me back into the living room so we can clean up our mess from earlier. I’m putting away the board game when I decide to bring up Emmy Lou’s phone call.

“Steel?” He glances over at me. “Em called me tonight about her progress on stuff.”

“Just now tellin’ me?” He growls, running his hand through his hair. “She say anything that’ll help?”

After I put the board game up in the hall cabinet, I grab his hand and pull him to the couch. I wait for him to take a seat and then climb into his lap. His arms wrap around me, pulling me tighter against his body, and I rest one of my hands on the side of his neck.

“They said they weren’t able to find much of anything, but they believe they have someone who might get us further. It’d mean one of your club brothers finding out about everything.” I blow out a breath and squeeze his neck gently. “I think it’s time to bring them in, Steel.”

“Thrasher. They’re talking about his mom. Desdemona has control of the prison. They think she can get us something, and good chance they’re right. Killer’s got guys in.”

“She’s good enough to get information out of them?” I ask.

“Killed six men who raped her twin daughters when the police wouldn’t do anything about it. Did that shit on her own. Lawyer tried to get her an insanity plea because of what happened, but Desdemona wasn’t havin’ that. She admitted to what she did with a smile on her face.”

“Holy crap,” I whisper. “Are the girls okay?”

His breath whispers against my neck as he exhales deeply. “No. One overdosed, we think, and the other ended up in a psychiatric hospital.”

“Oh, no. No, no. Poor Desdemona. Poor Thrasher. And those girls . . . my god. How could anyone be expected to be any kind of normal after something like that? I know people eventually are, but how in the world could anyone expect them to be?”

My heart is breaking for these people I don’t know. They say there’s nothing like a parent’s love. I’m not Lyric’s mom, but I already know there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for her, and that includes taking someone’s life if it came to it. Taking out the six men who horrifically raped your daughters? I’d have done the same thing. Knowing the little I do of Thrasher, I’m wondering if it’s something she did on her own. Because if she killed for her daughters, there’s no way she would let her only son and last child spend his life in prison for the rest of his life. I don’t have to know her or speak to her to understand that.

“Fucked world, baby girl,” Steel says, his chest vibrating against me as he speaks. “Won’t say much because it’s club business, but already planned on tellin’ them. Killer is going after club property, so it’ll come out anyway.”

I turn in his lap so I can face him and bring my hands up to cup his face in my palms. “Then we tell them together. You and me, Steel. I care too much about you to let you do this alone, no matter how close you are to them. You’re already going to be in enough trouble with them. I won’t let you get in deeper just because you’re trying to keep me protected.”

“Pay what I gotta pay, Hummingbird. Knew what I was doin’ when I agreed. Could’ve said no or went to them from the get-go and never did.”

“You’ll let me be there?” I ask.

“Can come to the clubhouse but won’t be able to be in on the meet unless they let you.”

“Don’t care as long as I’m there with you and we face it together.”

Something stark and powerful crosses his face right before he grabs me and slams my mouth to his. He shoves his tongue inside and snakes it around mine, coiling them together. Our hands grasp at each other until we’re fighting to crawl inside one another as our emotions overwhelm us and carry us away.

I’m only half aware as he climbs to his feet with me still wrapped around him. Somehow, on our way to the room, despite the way we stumble and slam into the walls, Lyric stays sleeping.

Facing the Dirty Mavericks isn’t something I’m exactly looking forward to because they’re some scary dudes, but it’s not something I can keep running from. Killer has started targeting the club’s businesses along with the girls they’ve already hurt. This has got to end, and I’m the one who holds the only evidence that could put a stop to it before more people get hurt. I’ll let Desdemona do her thing, but I’m worried it won’t be much. Emmy Lou and Willow have had every number that’s messaged me since this started, numbers that I know come from Killer and his men, but they’ve all been dead ends too, burner phones that didn’t result in anything. Not sure why I expected something different from someone who has gotten away with this crap for a very long time.

Steel tosses me onto the bed, pulling me from thoughts I’d rather not be thinking right now anyway. When I peer up at him leaning over me, his eyes are telling me things I don’t know if I’m ready to hear or believe, so I grab his shirt in my fist and yank him to me so I can get lost in the madness with him once again.

There’s something building in my gut telling me to hold on to this as tightly as I can because change is coming and it’s not all going to be pretty.