Page 55 of Something Like Hail

Noah smirked “Define popular for me.”

Harold opened his mouth. Then it snappedshut again.

“You were popular,” Noahsaid, grinning victoriously. “Give me something better than that!Your biggest regret, or something you hope nobody will everdiscover.”

“I’m a freaking prostitute!That’s not enough for you?”

“It’s a perfectlyrespectable occupation,” Noah said, doing his best to imitateMarcello. “Why, surely it must be one of the world’s oldestprofessions, and what an honor it is for us to uphold thattradition.”

Harold laughed. “Not bad! I’d like to seeyou do that voice the next time Marcello is around.”

“Stop changing thesubject.”

“Fine,” Harold said. “I’llthink of something. Over a beer. Sound good?”

Noah nodded his agreement. They entered thenext bar they saw, which turned out to be a little place on thecorner filled by locals, most of them older and wearing permanentsneers. He and Harold chose a booth in the most distant corner,both of them making faces after discovering how sticky the tablewas. When no one came to take their order, Noah rose and went tobuy their drinks.

Harold seemed excited upon his return. “Ithink I’ve got it!”

“Confession time?” Noahasked, setting the beers on the table and sitting. “Want me to calla priest before you get started? Or maybe a lawyer?”

Harold laughed. “It does involve theft.”

Noah leaned forward. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. But first…” He heldup his glass. After clinking it against Noah’s, Harold drankdeeply, as if needing to work up his courage. Then he began. “I waseight years old.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “I was hoping for aserious crime. What’s the worst a kid could do?”

“The goal is to prove thatI’m imperfect, not that I belong behind bars.”

Noah thought uncomfortably of Ryan and triedto shove away the mental image. This took a lot of pushing and afew hearty swigs of beer. “Go on.”

“Okay. There was this kid,Donny. He and I were friends at school. Not best friends. Donny ranwith a different crowd, but we’d meet on the playgroundoccasionally and have a good time. We were into the same shows, andespecially the same toys. The thing was, he had way more than Idid. I couldn’t believe the stuff he claimed to own. I thought hewas lying, especially because I could never get an invite to hishouse. Then, out of the blue, he said I should sleep over. I wasflipping out with excitement. My parents dropped me off, and I gotmy first glimpse of Donny’s room.”

“And?”

“He was telling the truth.Donny had everything, but none of it could compare to what I saw inthe basement. His dad had this massive train set, but it was thebuildings that really— Well, you’ve seen my place. This was thefirst time I’d been around models like that. I just wanted to standthere and stare, but Donny thought it was boring and insisted we gooutside. I figured I’d have a chance to see it againlater.”

“Pretty scandalous so far,”Noah teased. “Let me guess, you ended up stealing one of the littlefigurines, or maybe an entire building.”

“You’re way off,” Haroldsaid, shaking his head. “Donny and I went for a walk to a nearbypark. That was pretty fun, but the longer we were out there, themore I needed to answer a call of nature. We were having a goodtime, so I tried to ignore it. Eventually I had no choice and toldDonny that I really needed to go. No problem. He leads me where thepark has a restroom, and I’m near tears with relief until we seethe sign on the door. Closed for the winter.”

No surprise to Noah. He knew that officialsdid this to prevent pipes from bursting if the weather dipped belowfreezing. He had been inconvenienced by the policy more than once.Not that it ever stopped him. “So you whipped it out and spelledyour name on the wall?”

“You misunderstand,” Haroldsaid sheepishly. “I didn’t have to pee. Or maybe I did, but themore pressing concern—literally—was that I needed to sit down for anice long think.”

“You had topoop?”

“Like never before orsince,” Harold said, grimacing at the memory. “And before you ask,this park wasn’t private. There were houses all around, it was themiddle of the day, and if there were any convenient bushes, I don’tremember seeing them. I told Donny I wanted to go back to hisplace, which took some convincing, but eventually he agreed. Mystomach hurt at this point and uh… We didn’t make it very far. Ipooped. In my pants.”

Noah laughed, but mostly in confusion. “Whydidn’t you just drop your pants and squat? I know it would beembarrassing but it had to be better than—”

“I was a stupid kid! Ithought I could make it to his house. I don’t remember deciding tocrap myself. At a certain point, it just happened.”

“Okay,” Noah said. “That’sa bad thing to live through, but most kids have had an accidentbefore.”

“I’m not done,” Haroldsaid. “I promised you a crime. I didn’t let on that I had justcrapped my pants. We went back to Donny’s place, and I used therestroom and did my best to uh… empty the contents into the toilet.Things were still pretty crusty though.”