Page 154 of Something Like Hail

“Meeting Chester helped,”Felix said, his chest heaving. “Ruben too. I want to meet more ofthem.”

Noah felt lightheaded. “Are youserious?”

Felix nodded, eyes still wet with tears. “Ithink I can get over it. I love you too much for—”

Noah kissed him, reveling in the sensation,even though his aim was off and the result was clumsy. All thatmattered was how Felix kissed him back. With warmth andforgiveness.

“We’ll take it slow,” Noahsaid, pulling away. “We’ll ease into it, and this time, I won’thide anything from you. And if somehow you still manage to love medespite knowing all the facts, we’ll take it straight to the altar.No hesitation!”

Felix laughed, the sound a blissful melody,because it meant that Noah hadn’t broken him. He was still sweetand wonderful and innocent.

“Let me see those handsagain,” Noah said, turning the palms upright. “I know a doctor whomight be able to help you. He just graduated. I don’t think he hasany real experience, but maybe he can help anyway. We’ll talk tohim, and if he gives you the all-clear, we can play some videogames together. Sound good?”

Felix nodded, the joy in his eyes movingtoward a more tender emotion. When another apology started to formon his lips, Noah kissed it away. All was forgiven. Everything wasright.

He remembered that wasn’t quite the casewhen they began the walk back to the barcade. A convertible pulledaway from the curb, turned in the middle of the street, and droveaway in the opposite direction. The tires didn’t screech. The speedwas respectable. Noah already knew that if asked about it later,Harold would claim he had wanted to give them their space. Maybe hehad even convinced himself of that reason, when in truth, it alwayshurt to see someone else be given the luck that you had so badlylonged for.

* * * * *

“I know I said we wouldtake it slow,” Noah said as he stood up from the couch. They werein his apartment again, which felt much more like a home with Felixthere. The evening had gone well. They had played arcade games andspent more time with Chester and Ruben. Enough that it felt like adouble date, although sometimes he struggled to remember thatanyone besides Felix was there. Noah celebrated every touch betweenthem, every shared glance brimming with emotion, although he didoccasionally think of Harold and feel guilty. Then again, he onlyhad one heart to give, and he felt like he had finally done so.Nothing stood in the way of his relationship with Felix. Exceptsemantics. “You living here is definitely rushing things,” hecontinued, “but I don’t want that to change. Even though yourmother probably thinks I’m a monster by now.”

“Because of our bigdramatic misunderstanding?” Felix shook his head. “She has no idea.I’ve been staying with a different friend every night.”

Noah didn’t show his relief, deciding totest the waters with a little humor. “Just how many friends haveyou stayed with? Ten? Twenty? Over a hundred?”

“I lost count a long timeago,” Felix said coolly. “Deal with it.”

“I’ll try,” Noah said,leaning over to nuzzle their noses together. “I’d like to meet someof them. For real. I’ll keep showing you off to mine, and you startintroducing me to yours.”

“Okay!” Felix said. “Justwarning you though. Some of them are kind of nerdy.”

“Nerdier thanyou?”

Felix thought about it. “Ever heard ofcosplay?”

“No, but I look forward tobeing educated.” Noah kissed him and stood upright again. “We’regetting off track. What I’m trying to say is that, even thoughwe’re taking it slow, I still want you to consider this your home.So you take the bedroom. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“That doesn’t seem fair,”Felix said, stretching out across the cushions and clutching aplush animal to his chest. Whatever it was looked like thelovechild between a platypus and a bison. “Appa and I will take thecouch.”

“Thatdoesn’t seem fair,” Noah said. “There’s two of you and onlyone of me. You guys take the bed.”

“I’m too tired to move,”Felix said, shaking his head. “Appa is especially exhausted. Willyou get us some blankets? Oh! And a juice?”

Noah made a face like he was annoyed. Ofcourse the second he turned away, he allowed himself a smile,because this exactly what he had missed and wanted more of. When hereturned with a blanket and a drink, he saw that Felix had his eyesclosed and was breathing softly. An earlier conversation hadrevealed that neither one of them had slept much lately. Noahdraped the blanket over Felix, tucked him in, and left the juice onthe coffee table. Then he shut off all the lights except the oneabove the stove.

Once in the privacy of his bedroom, hestripped down, cherishing the fuzzy contentment he felt inside.Only when he slid between the sheets did he think of Harold,wishing that things had worked out better for him. Noah might havea word with Ruben to see if they couldn’t keep that relationshipgoing, even long distance. Part of him still loved Harold andalways would, meaning Noah wanted the best for him. Ruben might bejust the thing. If not him, then some other willing heart.

Noah was just drifting off when a gentlewhisper stirred him from sleep.

“Hey.”

He rolled over and found Felix standing inthe doorway. “You okay?”

Felix shook his head. “Appa is hogging thecovers. And he drank all my juice.”

“That’s terrible!” Noahsaid. “I guess you’ll have to sleep on the floor.”

“I’m pretty sure I heardburglars too,” Felix said, trying again. “Oh, and I’m allergic tocarpet. If I sleep on it, I break out into really gross sores withlots of pus.”