Page 46 of Someone to Call My Own

“So long for now. You’ll be back, Emory,” Josh said confidently. He added a wink and said, “I know things.” I smiled at Josh’s attempt at a joke, but I couldn’t give him the response he wanted.

“There will always be a place for you at our table, no matter how long it takes you to find your way back to us,” Gabe told me.

Tears slid down my face unchecked, and I turned and left without another word. I had almost made it to my car when I heard Jon calling my name. I stopped and let him catch up to me. His strong hands landed on my shoulders then turned me. Just the weight of his hands on my body made me feel better. I looked up into his worried blue eyes and fell apart even more.

“Hey now.” Jon pulled me into his arms and held me tight against his chest. “It can’t be that bad, Em.”

I pulled back and looked into his eyes once more. My heart thundered in my chest when I noticed that the icy distance from earlier was replaced with the same tenderness I saw in his eyes when we’d made love. Yeah, I realized that it was love even when I tried to make it all about the physical release.

“Come home with me, Jon. I need you.”

He didn’t ask questions nor did he hesitate. Jon simply drove to my house and followed me inside. We didn’t stop in the kitchen or living room. I didn’t offer him something to drink. I led him up to my bedroom and took my time stripping him down. Jon did the same for me then our mouths eagerly met at the same time our hands reached for one another.

We’d only had one night and morning together, but my body knew Jon like he’d been a part of me for my entire life. Jon’s groans spurred mine, his sure hands emboldened me to explore him, and I felt complete for the first time in ages when he slid deep inside me. I didn’t try to look away; I kept my eyes open and focused on his while he rocked in and out of me. I kissed his lips, his chin, and his jaw. I dug my fingers into Jon’s muscular ass while gripping him tighter with my thighs. I was terrified that I would never know his love again and desperate to commit every second to memory so I could relive it over and over the next few days.

Once the loving was over, Jon pulled me to him and held me tight. I wanted to think he would still be there in the morning, but I wasn’t willing to take the chance. I placed my head over his heart and took comfort in the steady thumping in his chest.

“I love you, Jon.”

A soft snore escaped his lips as soon as the words left mine. I wasn’t even sure if he heard my confession, but his arms tightened around me, so I figured his soul at least recognized them.

Icould tell by the dip in the mattress that Jon was still beside me in bed, but he wasn’t nearly as close as I would’ve liked. I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet, and I already craved the feel of his bare skin against mine, so I scooted closer toward him. I expected him to turn into me and pull me close because I’d seen it in my dreams and visions at least two dozen times since I met him. Instead, my leg bumped up against a thigh that was hard and unyielding. My brain registered tight, bunched muscles as if he were angry, but what…

My eyes flew open, and I sat up in bed so suddenly that I got dizzy. My stomach pitched and rolled, and I got out of bed and went to the bathroom as quickly as I could because I knew I was going to be sick. Even though it happened quickly, I still saw the folder of information that Jon held in his hands.

“Emory?” Jon asked in alarm. I heard him get out of bed and follow me.

“Don’t come in here,” I said firmly. “I don’t want you to see me like this, Jon.” Of course, he didn’t listen.

There wasn’t much for my stomach to reject, but it wasn’t satisfied with only purging my food. I dry-heaved for what seemed like thirty minutes as tears of anguish and humiliation ran down my face. When I finished, Jon was there with a cold washcloth and broad shoulders to rest my head on.

“You have some serious explaining to do, baby, but it can wait until you feel better.” Jon released a stuttering breath as he held me tightly against him. It was the first time since my diagnosis that I knew everything was going to be okay. It had to be. “What am I going to do with you, Emory?” I heard the fear in his voice and realized that he’d read at least part of the information in the folder.

“Just love me, Jon.”

“I’m going to love you as you’ve never been loved before, and that’s a guarantee.”

A few months ago, his words would’ve made me angry, but right then my tears of pain turned to tears of joy and contentment. I was at peace for the first time in so long that I fell into an exhausted sleep right there in his arms on the cold bathroom floor. The next time I opened my eyes, I was in bed again, and the daylight coming through the windows told me it was almost noon.

“First time the sun has been out in weeks.” I slowly turned my head and saw that Jon was lying beside me. His elbow and forearm supported the weight of his upper body as he looked down at me, giving the impression that he had watched over me while I slept. “I’m going to try this a bit slower to see if I have better results than last time.” I had to piss something fierce, and I wanted to scrub my teeth so I could spend the day kissing the man I loved. Then I owed him an explanation.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

A thought occurred to me then. Jon had lovingly washed my body once before, but I’d never experienced the pleasure of running my hands all over his wet body. “Shower with me?” I asked.

I started the shower to let the water heat up, which took a while in the old house I rented. I pulled a new toothbrush out of the vanity drawer and handed it to Jon then brushed my teeth, cheeks, tongue, and roof of my mouth to get rid of the nasty taste. In fact, I went back in a second time after rinsing my toothbrush and applying fresh paste then chased it with a few rounds of mouthwash.

“You have stellar oral hygiene habits,” Jon remarked with a raised brow when I finished and turned to face him.

“I have a lot of ass kissing to do today, and I want minty fresh breath while doing it.” That wasn’t all that I planned to kiss, but I wanted to get the apologies and explanations over with first. “The water should be hot enough by now.” I reached around the curtain and stuck my hand in the spray. It was the exact temperature of the first shower we shared—hot as it could get without scalding us. “Perfect.”

I got in the shower first, and Jon got in after me. My shower could’ve fit inside his four or five times, but it was hard to be upset about it when there was only enough room for us to hold on to one another while the water cascaded over us.

“You’re going to be okay, Em.” Jon’s voice was thick, husky, and filled with so much tenderness that tears threatened once more.

My headache eased considerably during my morning nap, but it hadn’t disappeared fully. “I do feel better.”

“Not just today, baby; I meant everything. Surgery, recovery, and us.”Us.I loved the deep timbre in his voice when he linked our lives together. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”