Page 4 of Someone to Call My Own

“You did!” I blew out a frustrated breath. “Is that why you were bringing me a… treat? You either felt bad about what happened to me, or you’re afraid of what I might know. Which is it?” I didn’t know what I hated more: the pity I saw in everyone’s eyes when they learned about River or the fear when they discovered I was a psychic.

Josh grimaced and said, “A little of both perhaps.”

“That’s just great.” I threw my hands in the air and paced back and forth in front of him. “I don’t need your pity, Josh,” I said vehemently, never breaking stride.

“What do you need, Emory? Why are you here?”

I stopped pacing and turned to face him. Damn, I wish I could say something that would alleviate the fear we both felt. “I wish I knew, Josh. I wish I knew.” He had a confused look when I reached my hand toward him. “Can I have my treat now? I think I deserve it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Josh said, pushing the box in my hand. “Regardless of the reasons, I am sorry for my behavior last night. Your presence unsettled me, and I lashed out like an immature brat.”

His words meant a lot to me. I smiled and said, “Thank you. I accept your apology”—I held up the bakery box—“and your peace offering.”

“Great,” Josh replied. “I guess we’ll see you around the neighborhood.”

“I’ll see you next week at my hair appointment,” I told him.

“That’s right,” Josh replied. An awkward silence descended on us again, but it didn’t last for long. He cocked his head and raised a brow dramatically before he said, “I knew those weren’t natural highlights.”

I laughed at his snarky attitude and headed into the coffee shop to get a hot beverage to go with my tasty treat. I realized that Josh Roman made me laugh twice in less than twelve hours. I thought my ability to laugh and smile had died with River, but Josh was able to snap me out of my misery. Maybe it was only temporary moments in time, but maybe those moments could build up to a peaceful existence for me. I still had no idea what the hell my purpose in Blissville was, but I decided to make the best of it. I’d start by eating the delicious cookies.

Istared at my reflection in the mirror and hardly recognized the face that looked back at me. The tan skin, dark hair, and blue eyes were the same, but the stress lines at the corner of my eyes and frown lines around my mouth were recent additions. I found it ironic too since my entire adult life had been one stressful event after the other—wars, black ops missions, and learning that my mother had lied to me for my entire life. I lived and breathed stress for so long that I couldn’t imagine living without it, yet it never took its toll on my face until recently.

“I’m going to head out now.” Alexander stepped up beside me fully dressed. I looked down at his face still flushed from the pleasure I’d given him. He was too young for me, but I couldn’t resist those pouty lips and the sensual promise I saw in his eyes. I discovered that Alexander’s ass was as tight as he advertised in jeans that were more like a second skin, and his mouth had tighter suction than a vacuum cleaner. He was a temporary balm to my riotous mind, but I knew it was a mistake when I saw a hopeful gleam in his eye. I knew I was going to regret breaking my No Fraternizing With Club Employees rule.

“Listen, Alexander,” I began…

“… I know,” he said, interrupting me. “It was just a one-time thing. You don’t do relationships, especially with club employees. I get it.” His brown eyes darkened, and I knew he recalled the things we did together for the last few hours. “Technically, you fucked me more than once, but I understood what I was getting myself into with you. Thank you for a very memorable night—um, morning.”

He was correct. I’d fucked him three times, and we both enjoyed every single second. I wasn’t sure if his words were designed to seduce me again, but I felt my body reacting to the memory of bending him over my desk, him riding me reverse cowboy style on the leather couch, and sucking me off in the shower. Alexander was a vocal, eager, and flexible lover, but I could find that anywhere and not worry about a fucking lawsuit—pun intended. I walked a fine line with him and knew it. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I sure as hell didn’t want to encourage him either. I had already given him my rules before I freed his cock from his underwear, and I would give him the benefit of the doubt until he gave me a reason to believe otherwise.

Therefore, I didn’t beat a dead horse or reiterate the thought he had interrupted. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Alexander’s megawatt smile dimmed slightly but never faltered. I hoped it was a good sign that we could continue working together without awkwardness or attempts on his part to repeat our time together. “See you then.”

I turned back and looked at my reflection again after he left. My face might’ve shown some wear and tear, but I had never had a problem getting some action. I just never imagined that there was a face identical to mine in the world. I couldn’t look at myself any longer without remembering my mother’s deathbed confession that I had a twin brother. At the time, I thought it was the morphine talking or her retelling a line from one of the many soap operas she had watched over the years. I even thought that perhaps all the alcohol and drugs she consumed over her lifetime had finally caught up to her until she told me about her box of secrets in the closet.

She raised her arm as best she could in her weakened condition and pointed to her closet. “Top shelf… on the right… behind the box of clothes that I’m donating.” She struggled to catch her breath every few words and my heart pinched painfully in my chest because I knew the end of her life was near. I had always wanted a close relationship with my mother, and I knew it would never happen. Cancer would see to that.

Julia Black was not an ideal mother by any stretch of the imagination, but she was all I had in the world. We had our share of ups and downs over the years, but I loved her. I resented and hated her at times when I was growing up because of her alcohol and drug addictions. She would get clean and sober for a stretch, and things would start looking good for our lives, but she always stumbled back to her addictions. As a kid, I thought she loved cheap vodka and pills more than she loved me. After high school, I joined the military and got as far away from her as I could.

In between the ear-shattering explosions of war were moments of absolute stillness as you tried to anticipate your enemy’s next step. No one moved, you were afraid to breathe, and the only sound you heard was your pulse pounding inside your ears. That’s how I felt when I walked into her closet that day. I knew what I was about to find would change my life forever, and for a brief time, it was the absolute best thing that happened to me.

I can’t look at myself anymore without recalling the way my brother’s eyes widened when he opened the door and discovered me on his front porch. Nate Turner was as shocked to learn about me as I was when I’d found out about him. We didn’t hit it off right away. Nate was justifiably skeptical about the wild story I wove for him, but DNA tests didn’t lie. I finally had the bond I craved with another human being, and it was ripped away from me seven months later. All I saw when I looked at myself was sadness and loneliness that no amount of fucking a stranger could replace.

“Damn, I get all maudlin when I get tired,” I said to my reflection with a sneering smile. Sleep beckoned me, so I started towel drying my head as I walked into my office where I’d left my clothes.

“Mr. Silver,” a firm voice said.

I jerked to a stop and lowered the towel from my head but made no attempt to cover my naked body. Hell, he’d seen it already, or one that was identical to it anyway. The sexy police detective aiming his gun at me was the one I blamed for my brother’s death.

“Well, this is a surprise, Detective Wyatt.”

“You know who I am?”

“Of course, I know who you are. You’re the man who rejected my brother when he turned to you for help,” I said bitterly. “Do you mind putting your gun away?”

“Do you mind puttingyoursaway?” Detective Wyatt’s partner asked when he entered the room.