Page 41 of Someone to Call My Own

“I went onto the back porch to watch the sunrise then just sat there thinking for a few hours. I decided to wake you up, but you were already in here pouting because you thought I’d left.”

“I wasn’t pouting.”I totally was.

Emory’s smug smile called me a liar. I just rolled my eyes and finished washing before I passed the soap and washcloth to Emory. At the last moment, I jerked them back and washed his body myself. It was the most intimate moment I had ever shared with another person. To be honest, I wasn’t sure that kind of tenderness existed inside me until I met Emory.

Emory closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose like he was trying to calm the panic that wanted to rise inside him. I recognized the signs from that time in the kitchen, and it killed me I brought out that reaction in him. Emory placed his hand over his heart where the infinity tattoo containing his husband’s name in the upper left curve was permanently inked in his flesh. I’d seen him do that before too and understood why he did it. He was comforting himself because the tenderness and intimacy of the shower had pushed him too far.

Emory may never love me.It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I accepted it even if I was disoriented and confused how things could go from so good to so bad in a heartbeat. I could accept what Emory offered or try to move on with my life. I wasn’t ready to make the decision, so I shut off the water like nothing was wrong and handed Emory a towel before grabbing one for myself.

We got back in my bed once we were dry, but Emory didn’t curl into me like he had the night before. He lay stiffly with his back to me. In my heart, I knew it could be the last time I ever had a chance to hold him. I spooned myself around him and slid my arm under his to cross it over his chest. I placed my hand over his heart, not caring that it bared the name of another man. I knew Emory had enough love for both of us, but Emory needed to believe it too.

I kissed the back of his neck then rubbed my nose through his hair. This was it, maybe my only chance to tell Emory how I felt in a way that I could be proud of. “I love you, Em.”

He stiffened in my embrace but didn’t pull away. I regretted not kissing him in the shower before everything went wrong because I worried I might never get a chance to taste his lips again. It took a long time for either one of us to fall asleep. When I woke again, it was mid-afternoon, and Emory was gone.

My existence was bleak on more occasions than I could count, but none were as dark as the days that followed Emory’s departure from my life. He refused to answer my calls, return my messages, reply to my texts, or even answer the door the one time I worked up the nerve to drive to his home. I accepted that the one, magical night was all I was going to have with him.

I found it ironic that I was so certain Emory would accept he was destined to belong to me, but I was the one who had to accept that he wouldn’t. I put up a good fight for a few weeks before I decided to let him go and hope that he’d come back to me when he was ready.If, not when.The only bright side, if you could call it that, was setting the trap to catch Alexander in the act of stealing from me.

I’d had plenty of experience with subterfuge while doing Uncle Sam’s dirty undercover work, but Michelle was new to lying through her teeth to people who trusted her. She performed remarkably well under the circumstances, and I made sure I expressed my pride in her abilities.

“You’re proud that I’m an effective liar?” she had asked in confusion.

“I’m proud that you can put aside your justified anger at Alexander for the time being to focus on our plan to bust his manipulative ass,” I clarified. “You are grace under fire, and that’s not easy.”

“Thanks, Jon.” She released a long sigh. “I will be glad when it’s over, but I have a feeling that it won’t be for quite some time.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Alexander’s attitude has changed a lot since you’ve put him back in the hands-off zone. He’s not going to like getting fired or arrested, whichever you decide, and I worry that he’s going to make a lot of noise.”

“Let him.”

I didn’t know if it was my anger and frustration over Emory’s absence or having to wait so long to address Alexander’s theft, but I grew angrier as timed passed. I decided I wasn’t giving him a chance to pay me back. I set up the hidden camera and had an undercover cop posing as a new bartender. I’d gotten to know a few detectives on the CPD during the investigation into my brother’s death. I wanted to think they agreed to help because they liked me and not as an attempt to keep me from suing the police department. One of the undercover cops who frequented my club as a patron had a pending trial for his role in Broadman’s string of crimes, but I didn’t paint them all with the same broad stroke. I did want five minutes alone with Broadman to meet out my brand of justice, but Nate’s memory deserved better from me.

The plan was simple: Michelle would begin entering and stocking the inventory until she would get interrupted by an emergency call. She would specifically ask Alexander to take over for her since he did such a great job the last time and wouldn’t sign out. We’d record Alexander’s activities in the stockroom, and the undercover cop would arrest him as soon as he made his move. It sounded easy in theory, but when was life ever easy?

I watched it all unfold in the monitors and had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when Alexander didn’t jump all over the chance to steal the liquor. That should’ve been my first clue that something was off about the entire thing. Michelle kept pleading with him, and he kept refusing to help. Finally, Michelle came into the office looking dejected and a little bit fearful.

“I’m sorry, Jon. I tried everything I could think of to get him to do the inventory for me again. He just kept refusing.”

“What was the reason he gave?” I asked.

“He said he wasn’t doing anything extra around here because it wasn’tappreciated.”

So it was about me and the lack of attention I showed him. “This asshole is something else, or he thinks his asshole is something else,” I amended. I regretted my words when Michelle blushed either from embarrassment or discomfort. I should’ve quit while I was ahead, but I was on a roll. I blamed Emory for my sleepless nights, sexual frustration, and bone-deep wounds I worried might never heal. “He steals from me then has the nerve to get pissed when I don’t fuck him.” Something wasn’t adding up.

“What do you want me to do?” Michelle nervously asked.

“I want you to play along and leave like you planned to do.” I handed her my credit card. “Go get a manicure and pedicure on my dime and time. You deserve it. I’ll take care of the rest. Just leave your employee number logged in.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

If Alexander was my thief, he should’ve jumped at the opportunity to steal from me again, if for no other reason than to get even with me. So why didn’t he? There was only one way to find out.

I waited for Michelle to leave as planned and headed into the club area where Alexander was working behind the bar. He looked up when I walked up to him but didn’t say anything.