Page 45 of So This is Christmas

JENNIE

Jennie had been back at her apartment for an hour. Usually Boxing Day was a comedown from Christmas Day, but not to this extent. She felt completely lost. Sophie had gone and they hadn’t been in time to stop her.

She’d already had a cup of tea, although she’d thrown half of it down the sink after she’d let it go cold. She was too distracted, looking out of the window, wondering how everything had become such a monumental mess.

She dragged herself into the bedroom to unpack the overnight bag she’d taken to Walter’s.

Last night, they’d all gone to bed early, but this morning Nick and Jennie had left Walter at the apartment, given how tired he was. She suspected it was the emotions of the last twenty-four hours that had really exhausted him.

‘Are you sure you’ll be all right?’ she’d asked him before they left to go and see Sophie. ‘I hate to leave you on your own and you might actually be the only one Sophie will talk to.’

‘She’ll talk to you, I’m sure. I’m fine here. Just bring her back if you can, tell her we need help with the turkey leftovers and I’m ready to make the Greta special for her if she’ll let me.’

It broke her heart to see him hurting, to see his usual spirit depleted at the recent events.

‘She must be so upset.’ Jennie hunched her shoulders and rubbed gloved hands together as she sat next to Nick in his car and they waited for the windscreen to clear. The heaters were up full blast to work their magic on the cold that had engulfed the vehicle overnight.

‘I’ll bet she is. And I know you still are too,’ said Nick.

‘I’m processing.’

He pulled away from the kerb slowly while the top of the glass continued to clear.

‘When Sophie talked to me about my mother and about her relationship with her own, she encouraged me to get in touch with mine. She said it might be good for both of us.’

‘Was that before she knew who you were?’ Nick asked.

‘I think it was right before. We shared quite a bit that day. She obviously joined the dots.’

All she wanted to do now was talk to Sophie. And if Greta were here, she would be right beside her, encouraging her.

Who was she kidding? If Greta were here Amber wouldn’t have got very far with her accusation and Jennie had a feeling Greta would’ve been able to stop Sophie leaving yesterday too.

They pulled up outside Sophie’s hotel and climbed out of the car. Jennie hoped she would hear them out, at least.

Inside, they went up to the front desk and asked whether the woman could please get hold of Sophie Hannagan.

But they’d blown it.

‘Sophie Hannagan is no longer a guest.’

‘She left?’ Nick asked. He blew out his cheeks. ‘Are you sure?’

The woman nodded. ‘Positive. She checked out this morning.’

‘What time?’ Nick’s question got a shrug in return.

‘Roughly?’ Jennie asked with more kindness than a frustrated Nick.

She shrugged again. ‘An hour, an hour and a half.’

Nick and Jennie looked at each other for a few seconds before they burst out of the entrance and ran to the car. They didn’t even need to discuss it, they were going to the airport.

‘Please don’t let her have left,’ Jennie pleaded to herself more than to Nick as they drove on.

At the airport they parked in the short-stay car park, ran across the road and in through the main doors.

They checked the departure boards and the areas they could access, but they were out of luck. Either she had gone through passport control or she was already up in the air.

Jennie’s heart sank. ‘She’s gone.’

And when they got back to Walter’s, they discovered Sophie had left a letter for Walter and an addressed envelope so he could return her phone which Walter had found down the side of one of the sofa’s cushions near the fireplace in the lounge. He was devastated that she’d left. They all were.

As Jennie unpacked her wash-bag in the bathroom, she wished again that either Sophie had said something to her sooner or that she’d stopped her from running out yesterday.

A buzz over her apartment intercom had her momentarily hoping it was Sophie, but of course it wouldn’t be. It was probably her neighbour. She’d taken a package for them last week and they still hadn’t picked it up.

But when the voice sounded over the intercom it wasn’t Sophie or the neighbour. It was Elliot.

She stood at her open apartment door and watched him emerge from the lift. He was smiling and came towards her with open arms.

She fell right into them. ‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too.’ He pulled back. ‘You’re crying.’

‘I’m sorry.’ She covered her face with her hands and he closed the door behind them before heading into the living room. ‘I’m so pleased you’re here.’

‘Well, when your girlfriend says you need to talk it’s pretty hard to enjoy a holiday and leave it like that.’

‘I’m sorry, I’ve ruined your time with your family.’

‘No, you didn’t.’ He took off his coat and sat down next to her on the sofa. ‘I had to see you. You say you’re not ending this but tell me what’s going on, Jennie. I’m worried, especially since you’re crying.’

She leant her head back against the sofa. ‘I didn’t know where to start before, and now, I really don’t know.’

She took a minute before she could find the words. ‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me. About my life. Before I became… well, me.’

‘Were you someone different before?’ But his nervous attempt to inject humour fell flat.

She may as well go for the shock factor first.

‘My mother isn’t dead.’

He looked confused, then crushed. ‘Why did you tell me she was?’

She couldn’t look at him for this. She had to recount it all right from the start and not stop until she’d finished.

So she got up, went over to the window and leant her back against the windowsill.

She told him everything, from the day of the crash to her father’s death.

She recounted her mother’s accusations, how she’d left home and never gone back, how Greta and Walter had taken her in.

‘I knew something more had happened than what you told me,’ said Elliot, his eyes full of kindness. ‘I didn’t want to pry. I thought you’d tell me if and when you needed to.’

‘I’ve needed to for a while.’ Her voice caught. ‘I just didn’t know how.’ And then she couldn’t stop the flood of tears and before she could run away and hide in the bathroom, he’d come to her and held her in his arms. She felt safe. With him she felt whole.

She pulled back, both hands on his chest. ‘There’s more.’

‘Take your time. I’m right here.’

And they stood that way until she’d told him everything about Sophie, her coming here, Greta and Walter and Bea knowing the connection between the two women, Amber turning up and Sophie running away.

‘You weren’t kidding when you said you had a lot to tell me.’ He’d listened the whole time without interrupting her.

‘I’m sorry it took me so long.’

‘Why did it? Not the latter part, you’ve only just found that out, but about your family and everything that happened. I didn’t even know you had a brother.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s a lot to take in.’

‘I know. When we met I kept it simple, thinking we wouldn’t last, and talking about Donovan would’ve been difficult without telling you the truth.’ She went over to the drawer where she kept the reframed photograph of her with her brother.

Elliot took the beaded wooden frame and looked at the picture. ‘You both look happy.’

‘We laughed a lot together. That was one evening after we had dinner in the garden, Mum caught us unawares.’

‘He looks like you.’

She smiled. ‘Forever sixteen.’

‘I can’t believe you never…’

‘I didn’t want to relive it, any of it.’ But that was only one reason. ‘It’s also that you seemed too good to be true.’

‘What? I’m hardly that, I have my faults like everyone else.’

She looked into his eyes. ‘You could have any woman you want, you could meet someone younger and have a family of your own.’

‘Jennie, I want you.’

‘But why?’

‘Because you’re you, Jennie. You’re still the same person to me now as you always were and I’m so in love with you I was devastated when I thought you wanted to end things.’

‘I don’t.’

‘Good.’ He kissed her and when their lips parted he put both of his hands on the sides of her face and looked deep into her eyes. ‘You know, all this time I’ve thought that you’re too good for me, I was always waiting for you to come to your senses.’

‘Why would I ever change my mind about you?’

‘Do you remember we had a conversation on what I think was about our fifth or sixth date, about kids. I thought I’d blown it.’

‘I remember you saying you’d seen how hard it was for your brother and you were happy to be an uncle. I kind of liked that.’

‘You did?’

‘For years I didn’t want a relationship or children, because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing someone else I loved.

When you made that comment I think I felt the pressure ease.

I wasn’t waiting for you to start talking about things I wasn’t sure I could give you.

In some ways, I wish I did have kids, but in others, I’m happy with what I’ve got in life.

I have a wonderful job, some family, and… well, you.’

‘Of course you have me.’ He kissed her once more and then picked her up in his arms.

She clung on to him as he took her into the bedroom.

Everything was such a mess right now but the one thing that wasn’t was her relationship with Elliot.

There was no doubt how she felt about this man and telling him everything at last hadn’t scared him away, it had shown her exactly the sort of man he was.

He was reliable, solid, and she never wanted to lose him.

As they lay there tangled in her sheets, her head on his chest, he said ‘Let’s forget the idea of moving in together. Why don’t we keep dating, have fun, no pressure.’

‘That sounds perfect to me. Thank you for being so patient.’

‘I could be patient on a ski holiday too.’

‘Donovan liked to ski.’

‘Yeah?’

‘He’d only been on a dry slope but he was hooked. He talked about travelling in the future, skiing terrains that would make most people’s hair curl.’

‘I’m sorry he never got to do that.’

‘Me too.’

She turned and propped herself up on her elbows to face him. ‘I’m glad I told you about him.’

‘So am I.’

‘He would tell me to give skiing a go. He never held back.’

He smiled. ‘It sounds like you two were close.’

‘We were. I was lucky to have had him in my life, if only briefly.’

‘He’d want you to come with us, Jennie.’

She grinned. ‘You really want me to join you all, even though I’d be terrible?’

He twirled the ends of her hair and it tickled her shoulder. ‘Alasdair and his wife Catrina have some kid-free time and said they’d come along too. So there will be a whole load of us. What do you think?’

‘I think I’ll feel even more inept with your family watching me try to ski when I’ve never done it before.’

‘Neither has Catrina. She was dead against the idea but the lure of log cabins, hot chocolates and the idea of being able to relax and watch other people out in the cold making a fool of themselves persuaded her to say yes. She’s agreed to try a beginner’s class on the understanding that if she doesn’t like it then Alasdair can’t complain at her bowing out. ’

‘Sounds like the perfect arrangement.’

‘So you’ll come?’ His face broke into a smile.

She leaned closer so she could kiss him. ‘Yes, I’ll come with you. As long as I can get the time off work.’

‘Shame Walter doesn’t own the hotel – you’d definitely get the time off then.’

She’d sunk back so that her head was on his chest again, her thoughts never far from the drama that had unfolded yesterday. ‘Sophie thinks it might be good for me and Mum if I got in touch.’

‘I think Sophie’s right. Once you’ve seen your mum you will know what to do next.’

‘You think so?’

‘I know so.’

Elliot was still here after everything she’d told him. He knew the layers of her, the whole truth, and now they were making plans, which felt incredibly special.

She looked up at him. ‘What should I do about Sophie?’

He kissed her forehead. ‘I think you know exactly what you need to do.’