Page 17 of So This is Christmas
JENNIE
The phone calls had started again yesterday afternoon. They came from an unknown number, but Jennie knew exactly who it was and she’d been jittery at work, on edge when she went to her apartment, and this evening she was feeling much the same.
Elliot met her from work and they wandered from the hotel to have drinks at a café with a couple of his colleagues, neither of whom Jennie had met before.
The colleagues were both new to Vienna and Elliot had offered to chat with them and tell them a bit more about the city even though he wasn’t a local; but it was Jennie who found herself being able to do a lot of the talking given she had the experience of dealing with tourists on a daily basis.
‘Everyone loved you,’ he told her as they left the café and walked towards the Am Hof Christmas market. ‘Thank you for telling them so much about Vienna. I thought I’d be quite good at it but I’m nowhere near as good as you.’
‘I’m used to doing it all the time, remember.’
He pulled her to him for a hug and they walked arm in arm to explore this beautiful city at night.
Vienna’s markets were plentiful, impressive, all a part of the magic surrounding this time of the year, and no matter how many times she talked about the markets the way she had this evening, and saw them from the perspective they had now, it still all felt a bit surreal.
She’d found herself in an entirely different life when she ended up on the streets after being in a family home for years, then she’d flipped it around again and found herself in the world of the Wynters, hotels, a job and a comfortable place to live, a new city to explore, a steady boyfriend who wanted to get more serious.
It was as if the pieces of her kept being pulled apart and thrown up in the air, each time landing in a different arrangement.
They approached the market entrance, all lit up to welcome patrons.
Crowds bustled around them, decorative stalls lined either side.
The atmosphere was a reminder of how popular these places were with locals and tourists.
Elliot’s colleagues were enthusiastic about the markets although they’d had other plans this evening, heading off to a classical music concert.
The stalls sold all kinds of things from handcrafted items to artisanal products including cheeses and chocolate, snacks, Christmas ornaments, hot drinks including coffee, hot chocolate and glühwein.
Jennie stopped as a young man, sitting cross-legged on the ground between two of the stalls, caught her eye.
Elliot put a hand to her elbow. ‘How about a glühwein?’
‘Sure.’ But Jennie was discombobulated because the young man looked so much like her brother Donovan.
They walked on. Of course it wasn’t her brother. But it didn’t stop her wanting to see the man again as if she needed to be sure.
‘You get the drinks,’ she said once Elliot had joined a queue, ‘I’m just going to run back and look at the stall with all the gorgeous wooden pieces, see what I might find for Walter for Christmas.’
She didn’t wait for an answer.
‘Jennie!’ he called after her.
She turned round and held up her gloved hand, her fingers splayed. ‘Five minutes!’ she yelled back to him.
She retraced the short distance they’d covered.
She wanted to find the young man who had looked so much like her late brother it hurt, the young man who’d looked at her from his position on the ground, the small cap out in front of him with a smattering of coins collected on its fabric, not speaking but with his eyes, asking for everything, just like hers once had.
She wove in and out of groups of people, apologising in English then in German every time she almost collided with someone.
She passed the stall selling wooden items and went over to the hut with bratwurst followed by the one selling coffees.
Prices at the Christmas markets were always hiked up but she bought from both stalls anyway and then went to find the young man.
He didn’t take the offering immediately.
Jennie, down on her haunches, urged him to accept them. ‘You must be hungry,’ she said in German.
‘ Danke ,’ he muttered without making eye contact, and finally took the food and the coffee.
She took ten euros from her purse. ‘Put this in your jacket, not in the hat,’ she said, again in his first language.
She’d seen people steal from the homeless as well as jeer at them; she’d had it done to her more than once, and it broke her heart to think it might happen to this young man.
She almost wanted to tell him to pick up his things, come with her and have a roof over his head for the night, but she couldn’t do that with everyone and she wasn’t confident enough.
Greta and Walter had done it plenty of times, but they’d had each other.
They’d also had their fair share of bad experiences trying to help people who went on to steal from them, like Ruby.
They’d picked themselves up every time though and refused to think that everyone they tried to help would turn out to be bad.
She joined Elliot as he was walking away from the stall with two glühweins in red, festive cups.
‘You didn’t find anything?’ he asked as they shifted out of the way of a gaggle of girls, all four arm in arm, not letting go of each other for anything or anyone.
‘Huh?’
‘For Walter.’
‘They didn’t have quite what I wanted.’
They moved on, sipping their glühwein, perusing the stalls.
The next stall they came to had beautifully handcrafted picture frames and she handed her cup to Elliot while she looked through them.
She asked the stallholder about the recommended size of picture and chose one in wood with beaded edges.
She had a lovely photo of her and Donovan taken the year before he died and the existing frame had cracked.
She’d been meaning to replace it for a long while and right now it was pushed into a drawer, waiting for when Elliot knew everything and she could finally be honest about who she really was.
‘Do you have a picture in mind?’
‘Sorry?’ Her mind was off, thinking about reframing the photograph, where she would put it in her apartment. Not a day went by that she didn’t miss her brother.
‘A picture – for the frame,’ he prompted.
‘Oh, not yet, I just liked the frame.’ Another lie. And she hated it.
They left the markets behind and when the Wynter Hotel was in sight, the place where they’d split off and go back to their respective apartments, Elliot asked, ‘Are you sure I can’t tempt you to come back to my place tonight?’
‘I’m on early shift tomorrow, so bed for me as soon as I get in.’
‘I don’t mind that.’
‘I’m sure you don’t.’ She grinned. ‘But I really am tired, I need a solid night’s sleep.’ It felt like so long since she’d had one.
‘It would be easier if you decided to move in. You wouldn’t have to go to yours and lug all your things over then.’
Since Jennie had moved into her own apartment after all those years of being adrift and then staying with the Wynters, she thought she’d never consider giving up her independence again. Was she really ready to do that now, even if the truth didn’t detonate their entire relationship?
Jennie’s apartment was very different from Elliot’s – instead of high ceilings and sky views with windows letting in the maximum light, her apartment was more modest, at the back of a block with smaller windows that let in enough light, if not a decent view.
Rather than a sleek, modern kitchen she had old cabinetry in a faded blue with tiles that had seen better days and water that no matter what setting you put the thermostat on, seemed to choose what temperature it wanted to be.
But her apartment felt like home. And she valued that feeling more than anything else.
She kissed him as they reached the end of the street with the Wynter Hotel on the opposite side.
‘Are you sure I can’t walk you home?’ he asked.
‘No need.’ She smiled. ‘You know I love the city at night and there are plenty of people around.’ It was true. Perhaps it was the anonymity when the skies darkened and faces were harder to recognise, perhaps it was the peace and quiet and the solitude that in some ways wrapped her in a giant hug.
But after they said goodbye, she paused before crossing over the road and taking the steps up and into the Wynter Hotel as if it were a beacon bringing her home.
‘What are you doing back here?’ Hans was at the door to the brasserie undoing the bolt that fixed one of the doors wide open to invite guests inside.
‘I was passing by. Thought I’d pop in – you know how it is.’
He smiled. ‘Not really, I tend to go home at the end of a shift.’
‘Is Nick still around?’ she asked, then quickly added, ‘Silly question, he’s always working crazy hours.’ She’d lost count of the times she’d popped in like this and found Nick here. They’d share a late-night drink, talk hotel business, talk family… Just talk.
‘Actually, he’s gone home, left about thirty minutes ago.’ He closed one of the big doors and then moved towards the other.
‘Have you been busy tonight?’
‘You could say that. Getting busier on the approach to Christmas too, it’s a lovely atmosphere.’ He looked at her peculiarly when she whipped round at the sound of laughter coming from behind her. ‘You okay?’
‘Me? Yes, of course.’ She’d heard a laugh that sounded so much like her mother’s that she wasn’t sure whether she was shocked at hearing it now or shocked at the fact she could even remember it.
‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
When she didn’t say anything, rather than lock the second brasserie door, he opened it up fully. ‘Why don’t you come inside. Have a drink with me. I’m getting a lift home but not for another hour.’
When the sound of heels clipped on the floor behind her in the foyer she shot inside without being asked again.
He led her to a table where they wouldn’t be seen from the doors, away from the window in case their guests saw them and thought the brasserie was open for business.
She shrugged off her coat, pulled off her hat and unwound her scarf. ‘It’s lovely and cosy in here.’
‘I’ll make us a hot chocolate each, I can do that without creating too much mess.’
The low lighting at the table – courtesy of the single brass lamp and the atmospheric light at the back of the bar – was soothing and she felt herself settle more than she had all evening. In here, away from the worry, she could finally relax.
Hans came out with a silver tray on top of which were two large mugs of hot chocolate.
‘Those look good.’ She took the drinks and set them down while Hans posted the tray onto the adjacent table and then sat opposite her.
‘Made with 70 per cent chocolate. Enjoy.’
She sipped the velvety liquid. ‘This was just what I needed.’
‘Good, I’m glad. And I’m not in for a couple of days after this so a late night, a chat and some good company is nice. I’m going away with my girlfriend to meet her family.’
‘That’s a big step.’ And one she knew Elliot wanted her to take. ‘Do you feel ready?’
‘I think so.’
She wanted to ask him how he knew, whether he was scared or not.
They talked about his girlfriend Mirabelle, a young woman in her thirties who worked a couple of blocks away in a clothes store. They talked about Elliot too, and for a time Jennie was able to forget her worries.
‘Thanks so much for this,’ she said when she was at the end of the hot chocolate, using her spoon to dig out the remaining bits that were clinging on to the inside of the mug.
‘You looked like you needed it. You seemed a bit on edge.’
They’d been working together for over a year now and while Jennie had given Hans advice on dating, especially in the early days with Mirabelle, she’d never turned to him in the same way.
When someone rattled the door to the closed brasserie she jumped out of her skin. Hans didn’t say a word, he merely went to see who it was.
‘Just a guest wondering if we were open,’ he said when he came back. But he’d picked up on her unease. ‘Were you expecting someone?’
‘No.’
‘It’s just that you jumped a mile when you heard the door being rattled. Are you sure everything is all right with you?’
‘Of course. I’m tired, that’s all, I should’ve gone home rather than stopping here.
Although then I wouldn’t have had that amazing hot chocolate.
’ She pulled on her hat and reached for her scarf.
‘I should get home, let you close up properly, and stop being so tightly wound with Christmas and work.’
He stood at the same time as her, clearly unconvinced that everything was fine but at least not pushing her to say more.
The foyer was deserted and as she walked down the front steps outside, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She hardly dared to take it out but curiosity won the battle.
Her shoulders sagged with relief when she saw that it was Elliot checking she’d got home safely.
She set off towards her apartment after she’d texted him back that she had arrived just fine. If he knew she wasn’t there yet, he would worry, and he’d wonder why not.
When her phone went again she assumed it was Elliot but this time it was Walter.
She smiled. She always had time for the Wynters. That would never change.
All Walter wanted to ask was whether she’d mentioned to Elliot that he was welcome on Christmas Day.
‘I promise I will ask him, and thank you.’ She could imagine Walter sitting in his favourite chair by the window, looking down at the street and the comings and goings below.
She wondered what it would be like to share a Christmas with Elliot. It would be another step in their relationship, sharing such a special day, and while she didn’t know whether she was ready to live with him, she actually felt ready to bring him to the Wynters for Christmas together.
Back at her apartment she let herself in, dropped her keys into the bowl beside the door, put the thermostat up a notch and flopped down on the sofa, still in her coat.
When she felt her eyelids closing on and off, she took herself from the sofa into the bedroom to get ready for bed. And she switched her phone to do not disturb so there would be no chance of any mystery calls.
Hans was right to spot something was off with her. Right now she felt like there was a ticking time bomb with no prediction of when it was likely to go off.