Page 36 of So This is Christmas

SOPHIE

When Sophie woke up on Christmas Day she tried to focus on being part of a Wynter family Christmas rather than on what would happen when Jennie and Nick found out the whole truth and the dynamics changed.

She missed Hayden, of course, but was happy he was having a great time in America.

She sent him a quick ‘Merry Christmas’ text message he could reply to at his leisure.

She hummed through a lovely, hot shower, took her time getting ready, headed downstairs and through the foyer, and when she let the door to the apartment hotel fall closed behind her she smiled at the sight of Nick waiting at the bottom of the steps holding two cardboard cups.

‘Merry Christmas,’ he said with a smile that was hard to resist and impossible not to return.

‘Merry Christmas. What are you doing here?’

‘Walter sent me to pick you up. He thinks I’m coming in the car, but I wanted the walk.’

‘Well, you timed it perfectly. How did you manage that?’

‘I worked out the time you said you would get to Walter’s, minus the time it takes to walk here, and hey presto.’

‘What would you have done if I’d already left?’ she asked when he handed her one of the cups.

They started to walk. ‘Drunk both of these coffees and probably been a bit jittery when I got to Dad’s.’

They crossed the road. ‘So how are you doing today?’ she asked him.

‘You mean with it being the first Christmas without Mum?’

‘Yeah. I know it must be hard.’

‘It is, but we’ll make sure it’s a happy day.’

‘It’s all you can do, isn’t it?’ She held her takeaway cup close to her face, letting the steam warm her as it escaped from the spout.

Nick stood closer to her at the crossing as they moved away from the crowd.

There were a surprising amount of people around for Christmas Day.

Maybe they were all going to family, perhaps they were out to enjoy a walk before the big feast. Were many of them tourists like her?

Were many of them leaving soon with a cloud hanging over them like she was?

‘You’ve been good for him, you know?’

‘Your dad?’ she asked as they crossed the street. ‘I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him more.’

‘So Mum and Bea knew best, wanting to get you here.’

She made a noise of agreement which she smothered with another sip of coffee.

‘I’m glad you came to Vienna,’ he said.

‘Me too.’ She was about to ask him why he’d suddenly stopped when she realised and looked up at the sky too. ‘It’s snowing again.’ It wasn’t much but she felt a flake land on the tip of her nose.

‘Now I’m doubly glad I’m walking.’

‘I bet the city is like a winter wonderland when it’s all covered in white.’ Her cheeks tingled with cold.

‘It is. I wish it would stop teasing us with these light flurries and snow properly.’

‘Maybe this time it will.’

‘Here’s hoping. We’d better keep walking,’ he said. ‘Dad will be waiting to get the breakfast on and he worries about us as much as Jennie worries about him. I hope you’re ready for the feasting today.’

She laughed. ‘You should see what Hayden can put away on a regular day, let alone Christmas.’

‘Sometimes I miss a British Christmas, a good old English pub on Christmas Eve with everyone in high spirits.’

‘Do you think you’ll stay here in Vienna forever?’ Sophie asked.

‘Forever is a long time. I’m not sure. The job is great, Dad is settled here, Jennie is here.’

‘Family,’ she said. ‘I get it.’

He stopped her before she crossed the road when a bike sped past.

Hand against her chest she admitted, ‘I forgot where I was for a moment.’ Cars and bikes rode on the right, not the left.

‘Easy mistake. You learn fast.’

‘I’ll try to.’

‘You’re not missing a Christmas in England?’ He put his hand on the small of her back as he guided her past a gang of teenagers.

‘Without Hayden there, no.’

‘It’s nice that you and he are so close.’

‘I think him not having a dad around has a lot to do with it. It was hard, losing Martin, but having Hayden kept me going. It’s difficult to believe he’s twenty-one already.

I’m having to practise loosening those apron strings, stopping being so clingy, but it’s hard when it’s been the two of us for so long. ’

‘Were his grandparents around for his childhood?’

She shook her head. ‘Martin’s parents moved to New Zealand after Martin died. He had a younger sister, but she went with them. We stay in touch with letters and photographs from time to time, more so in the beginning, not so much now.’

‘And your parents?’

‘Dad left when I was a baby and Mum passed away a few years ago. When Hayden was little we saw her on and off but Mum was kind of different.’

‘In what way?’ When she hesitated, he apologised. ‘Sorry, it’s not any of my business.’

‘I don’t mind you asking, it’s just hard to know how to explain.

Mum wasn’t the sort of mother I ever wanted to be.

She was distant, she didn’t show much love and she could be a little cold.

’ She felt his eyes upon her for a moment, but she kept her gaze ahead.

‘I never turned my back on her even though there were times when I thought about it. I sometimes think that maybe because of the way Mum was, I was open to getting involved in a serious relationship so young. Not that I used Martin as an escape. We fell in love, simple as that. But perhaps if things at home hadn’t been so grim I might have wanted to do other things – go travelling, have a bit of a life before I settled down.

Once I had Hayden I vowed to give him the childhood and the love that I never really had. ’

‘I bet you’re a great mum.’

She smiled. ‘I bet you’re a great dad too.’

‘I try my best.’

‘Do you have a good relationship with your son?’

‘Yeah. Henry’s a good kid. Well, not so much a kid now.

He’s settled in Los Angeles with his mother and I’ve never pressured him into picking sides.

I’d love to have him with me, but for now I get over to America twice a year and we have a weekly video call.

He’s on holiday with his girlfriend at the moment. ’

‘It’s hard,’ she said, ‘but we have to let them do their own thing.’

‘Our sons are certainly doing that, aren’t they?’

‘They sure are. Greta and Bea were forever telling me that as well as being a mum I could spread my wings too.’

‘And that’s why you’re here,’ he said.

‘Bea had a hand in that. She even left behind some money for my plane ticket.’

‘She really wanted to get you to Vienna.’

And he still didn’t know the real reason. She skated away from too much focus about Bea and her intentions. ‘Before this trip I’d never been away on my own, certainly never flown on my own.’

‘Well, I’d say it’s about bloody time. I wish my mum could’ve got to see Henry find his place in the world a while longer. She would’ve loved meeting his girlfriend. It might have got her off my back for a while too.’

She smiled, imagining Greta dropping constant hints about Nick’s love life. Walter seemed to have taken over for now, forever saying how kind Nick was, how he was single and just hadn’t found the right person. Sophie could take a hint.

‘All people really want is a bit more time with those they love,’ she said. ‘That’s why Bea loved Greta’s letters. They kept the pair close even though distance separated them.’

‘Mum always thought so.’

‘I wish I could have got to know Greta more. We met once in person when she came to see Bea before returning to Vienna, then on a few video calls.’

‘I would’ve liked to know Bea more too. She and my mother were incredibly close. I hope I have that when I’m their age.’

‘Me too. Loneliness is horrible.’

He waited a beat before he said, ‘You sound like you know what that feels like.’

She couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to. And would he really be at all concerned about her feelings when he knew the truth of how she was connected to Jennie?

When she said nothing he took her empty cup and popped it with his into a nearby bin. ‘So apart from Christmas with the Wynters, what else is on your agenda before you head back to London?’

Telling the truth.

‘I’m not sure,’ she said as they crossed another street and the apartment came into view.

‘I can suggest some places, if you like. Perhaps we could go to some of them together.’

They reached the entrance to the apartment building. ‘Nick, I live a long way away.’

He lifted a hand and put his gloved fingers to her cheek. ‘Why are you getting upset?’

‘I’m not.’

‘You’ve got tears in your eyes.’

‘Christmas is a tough time without family. I guess I’m getting emotional.

’ It was partly true and she felt bad for that.

And she felt even worse that she was attracted to this man.

He seemed keen and she would soon be revealing her true colours.

She might not have been driving that day, but she had never totally let go of the blame for making Caleb drive so fast. If it hadn’t been for her, he never would’ve been travelling in that direction, let alone been driving so recklessly.

If it hadn’t been for her, his actions never would’ve killed Donovan.

It was hard to let go of the belief that if it hadn’t been for her, Jennie’s life might have turned out very differently.

‘Let’s go inside,’ she said, but he took her hands in his and stopped her from going up the steps.

He edged closer, dipped his head. ‘My dad seems to think we’d be well suited.’

‘He’s hinted as much, just once or twice.’ She smiled.

‘I happen to think he’s right.’ His face was so close to hers and she wanted this, she wanted it so badly.

She almost let herself be tugged into the moment and be drawn into his kiss but she pulled back. ‘Nick, I can’t…’

With Martin it had taken less than an hour to know he was the one for her. She never thought she could feel so strongly for any man again, and now she was beginning to, now she was finally at a place in her life where it was possible, she couldn’t do a thing about it.

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