Page 18 of So This is Christmas

SOPHIE

Sophie had been trying to write a letter to Greta for a couple of days but so far all her attempts had gone in the bin. She was getting nowhere fast.

Today she’d been to the supermarket to do a shop, she’d written some Christmas cards for the neighbours, she’d checked and rechecked her emails to see whether any of the jobs she’d applied for had asked her for more information or an interview, and she was about to attempt the letter again when there was a knock at the door.

She opened it to find Jessica on the doorstep and her eyes filled with tears at seeing her friend. ‘You’d better come in out of the cold.’

Jessica stepped inside the hallway and Sophie closed the door behind her.

‘I wish I could hug you,’ said Jessica. ‘I’m pretty sure I’m no longer contagious but I would hate to give you anything.’

‘I don’t think my situation could get any shittier.’

‘In that case…’ Jessica stepped closer and wrapped her in a hug she desperately needed. They were still hugging when she said, ‘I heard about Bea.’

‘She went peacefully.’ Sophie’s tears came again but she wiped her eyes while Jessica hung up her coat. ‘Who told you?’ she asked as she led them into the kitchen.

‘I called work to let them know I’d be back the day after tomorrow and Billy told me.’

‘I tried to get the news to you sooner. I phoned but when your husband said you had a tummy bug I didn’t want to burden you with anything. How are you feeling?’

‘Much better. The tummy bug turned out to not be much or I wouldn’t have come inside your home. I’m not that cruel.’

‘I appreciate it. Tea?’ she asked.

‘Maybe in a minute. But first you need to tell me what the hell happened. Not only did I find out about Bea today but I also found out that you’ve been fired.’

Sophie took mugs from the cupboard as she told Jessica how the situation at the lodge had unfolded.

‘That absolute?—’

‘Amber is awful, we both know that, but to be honest it’s a relief to know I don’t have to see her any more.’

‘I’ll bet. But you don’t fool me.’

Sophie dropped a teabag into each mug. ‘I will miss you and the residents.’

‘That’s more like it.’ She pulled something from the bag on her shoulder, passed it to Sophie and took over the tea-making ritual.

‘What is it?’ Sophie asked, opening the top of a big brown envelope.

‘It’s for you. Let me make the tea, you look at what’s inside then we’ll talk more.’

While Jessica finished in the kitchen, Sophie went over to the sofa and sat down. From the envelope she pulled out a notelet with daisies on the front. She and Bea had selected those notelets to write some of Greta’s letters on throughout the year.

She also pulled out a small box and when she looked inside she found Bea’s beautiful necklace. ‘I can’t?—’

‘You can and you will.’ Jessica joined her in the lounge area and set both mugs down on the coffee table. ‘Bea saw a solicitor a few months back and between us we agreed that you would have her necklace when the time came.’

She let the weight of the pendant rest against her fingers as she lifted it from the box. The precious stone shone brightly, the gold still shimmered.

‘The solicitor was party to all of this, by the way,’ said Jessica, ‘so if anyone contests it, they don’t have a leg to stand on.

Bea wanted to make sure nobody doubted her state of mind.

She said the necklace was worth at least 500 pounds but it was the sentimental value rather than the monetary value that she always wanted to pass on.

And she knew you wouldn’t just take it.’

‘She tried to give it to me enough times.’

‘She gave it to me the day before she died. It was as if she knew her time was almost up. She gave the necklace to me, told me she’d tell you it was under her jumper if you asked.

’ She got a smile from Sophie. ‘Anyway, I agreed to take it home with me and when the time came I would pass the necklace to you along with the letter.’ She nodded towards the notelet Sophie had set down on the table. ‘I wrote it but Bea dictated it.’

Sophie picked up the notelet and read the words inside.

My Dearest Sophie,

If you are reading this then it means that my time has come.

I was never blessed with children of my own but if I’d ever had a daughter I like to think that she might have been just like you. Sophie, you have made my days brighter, more fun, happier and less lonely. You made the ending to my story a good one.

Please accept this necklace as a thank you for being the person you are and for everything you gave to me unconditionally.

Please know that you were in my heart every single day and that the Wynters are still waiting for you to visit them.

Would it be cheeky of me to say that it’s my final wish that you go and meet them?

Maybe it is, but being cheeky is always so much fun so I hope you will be reading this with a smile on your face.

With my love,

Bea x

Sophie said softly, ‘No, it wouldn’t be cheeky at all.’

‘There’s something else in the big envelope,’ Jessica prompted after a pause.

Sophie reached inside and pulled out a smaller brown envelope, and when she opened it she took out 400 pounds. ‘I can’t take this!’ But when she read the note attached to the money with a paperclip it made sense why Bea had given her cash. The note only had two words on it: For Vienna .

‘She really wanted you to go, Sophie.’ Jessica came to her side and put an arm around her friend.

‘She was excited doing all of this without you knowing, and right now I bet she’s up there feeling pretty happy with herself at giving you a little push.

Go to Vienna, Sophie. Do it before you find another job. What have you got to lose?’

And in that moment, she realised she didn’t have much to lose at all.

‘I’ve been trying to write to Greta,’ she said to Jessica.

‘To tell her the news?’

‘I don’t know what to say. Maybe… maybe I should tell her in person.’

A smile spread across Jessica’s face. ‘That’s a good idea. Go on, get your laptop – we’re going to look at flights.’

And so that was what they did.

Jessica left an hour later, and by that time Sophie had a flight booked for the next morning and had arranged accommodation and transfers to and from airports.

And when Hayden called she was glad she didn’t have to pretend to have plans for Christmas so he wouldn’t feel guilty and offer to come home, because she really did have somewhere to be this year.

He was a sensitive and kind boy, and over the years she’d done her utmost to make it so she worried about him rather than the other way round.

No kid deserved to have to turn into the parent when they were only just emerging into their twenties.

In a whirl of the usual excitement, Hayden caught her up on what he’d been doing as soon as she asked. He was seeing and experiencing so much of America and had so far seen New York, Philadelphia, a lot of Connecticut and Boston. He hoped to make it over to the west coast in the next few months.

‘You sound like you’re having a brilliant time,’ she said.

‘I am, but it’ll be weird not being home for Christmas.’

‘You were barely here last year or the year before. And it’s the way it should be – you’re young, this is the time to be having adventures and a bit of fun.’

‘I don’t know. I think I’ll miss my sprouts. Not sure they’ll have those here.’

‘You used to eat them cold when you were little.’

He laughed. ‘I draw the line at cold these days, but lashings of gravy and I’ll eat a kilo of them.

’ A pause. Sophie often wondered whether Hayden was intuitive and sensitive because he’d lost his father so young and it had been just the two of them, or whether he’d been born that way.

‘I can come home, you know. There’s time if you need me to. ’

‘You will do no such thing.’

When she moved her foot she realised she was almost stepping on the collection of letters from the Wynters to Bea and the map of Vienna Sophie had found for Bea at the bookshop.

Bea had loved using a magnifying glass to look at the map and take Sophie through some of her memories.

The Christmas letter was still in its envelope sitting on top of the coffee table too, the Christmas letter she would deliver in person very soon.

‘Are you working at the lodge this year?’ he asked.

‘Not this year, no.’

‘Then what will you do? You can’t be on your own at Christmas, Mum.’

‘I won’t be. I’m going on a trip.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’ And an unexpected warmth flooded through her. ‘I’m going to Vienna.’

And as he enthused across the miles, she found herself doing the same.

She was really going to do it. For the first time in years, Sophie was going to take a trip on her own, and despite the sadness it would bring when she told Greta that Bea had gone, she hoped Greta would also find some joy in talking about her very dear friend Bea Kern.