Page 34 of So This is Christmas

She told him that of course the touristy plans could wait and reluctantly she climbed into the taxi beside him.

Back at the apartment he wasted no time once they’d taken off their coats and gone into the lounge. He wasn’t daft, he knew something was amiss. ‘What’s going on with you, Sophie?’ he asked. ‘Out with it. Was it the strudel? Was it terrible?’

She laughed. ‘Was it the three pieces I ate earlier that gave it away?’

He liked her response and smiled. ‘So if not the strudel, then what is it?’

‘I need to say something. And when I do, I need you to be honest with me.’

‘Okay.’

She had to find the right words, and when Walter sat in one of the two Chesterfield armchairs she moved near to the window and looked outside, although there wasn’t much of a view.

The mist had rolled in and droplets of drizzle clung to the windowpanes.

Down at street level people milled on the pavements, colourful umbrellas ducked in and out beneath awnings, cars crawled in between, their lights on against the weather.

They’d been lucky to get to the hospital and back before the weather changed.

She turned round to find Walter watching her, waiting for her to share what was on her mind. She looked back at the murkiness of the outside, the grey that swept across the beauty of the city.

‘Sophie…’

She closed her eyes. ‘I know why I’m here.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘I know who Jennie is, I know who I am to her.’ And then she turned to see the colour drain from his face.

He shuffled in his seat. ‘I was afraid something like this would happen before I got the chance to tell you.’

‘Has all of this been a game to you?’

Eyes wide, he shook his head. ‘None of this was ever a game, I promise you that.’

‘But you know all about the accident and my part in it.’

He took a deep breath. ‘Why don’t I make us both a cup of tea and I will explain. Will you let me, please?’

‘I will, but no tea – just tell me what on earth is going on.’

‘I’ll start from the beginning.’

‘I already know how Jennie came to live with you.’ She took the chair opposite him, hands clasped in her lap, her fingers toying with each other as she explained how Jennie had opened up to her in the brasserie, how she’d told her about the accident and about Donovan.

‘I heard the name Donovan, I saw her surname on her name badge,’ she said, ‘and I made the connection. All the details she recalled about that day matched my own memories.’

‘Jennie has been like our daughter for a very long time,’ said Walter.

‘Greta shared things with Bea as friends do about their children, and Jennie was no exception.

You see, Jennie has never forgiven herself for driving the car in the accident that killed her brother.

She blamed herself, her mother blamed her and she fell apart.

When she was hurting over the years, so were we, and Greta would talk to Bea about it all.

‘None of us ever could’ve foreseen you coming into our lives.

But Bea called us out of the blue one day.

She’d had someone help her make the call.

She told Greta about an altercation she’d heard at the lodge, an altercation involving yourself and she said she’d spoken to you about it afterwards.

Bea could hardly believe it but you gave her so many details including the name Donovan and the location.

She put two and two together. She knew where Jennie was from, she obviously knew where you lived, so while Bea and Greta might have lived miles apart, you girls hadn’t. ’

‘Bea got confused about some things like the Wynter Hotel and who owned it,’ said Sophie, ‘but on other things her mind was crystal clear.’

‘It definitely was with this. And she’d remembered Greta confiding in her about Jennie’s life and how she came to be with us. That’s how she knew you two were connected. We were all so shocked when we found out and it took a while for the facts to sink in.’

‘I still don’t understand why you wanted to get me over here to Vienna. Surely you don’t think Jennie will thank you for this?’

‘Please don’t get angry with me,’ said Walter.

‘I’m not angry.’ But her voice had risen. ‘Not really. I just need to understand.’

‘We meddled. We just wanted to help the both of you. Greta and I worried so much about Jennie over the years, especially the fact that she seemed unable to forgive herself for the accident. And Bea, well, she worried about you long before she realised the link between you and Jennie. She worried about how tough it was for you being a single mother without extended family to support you, she worried that all you did was work hard, she thought maybe you were running away from something or someone. We liked you, Sophie, from the moment we met, and once we knew the truth, all three of us decided we just wanted to help two young women who seemed unable to be truly happy because of something that happened which was neither of their faults. Bea always thought of you as a daughter, you know.’

Sophie wiped away a tear. ‘Bea meant so much to me.’

‘And you to her. We all wanted you and Jennie to have more out of life. I think Greta and Bea thought that if they could get you together then you’d each see the other wasn’t to blame.

It all sounds a silly idea now, saying it out loud.

But I promise you none of us ever set out to play a game, or make anyone uncomfortable.

We wanted you both to see that the only person truly at fault was the other driver.

You and Jennie have both spent so long taking a portion of the blame that never should’ve been placed on your shoulders, and we wanted you both to move on with your lives. ’

She went over to Walter and sat on the arm of his chair. ‘It’s nice that you all cared so much. You barely know me.’

‘We knew enough, from meeting you, talking to you, and through Bea. And now, because you are here.’ He paused.

‘We wanted to get you and Jennie together but we hadn’t really thought about how we were going to handle telling the pair of you when we did.

Then Greta died.’ He cleared his throat.

‘I didn’t know what to do. I carried on with the letters and of course the Christmas letter this year, and I admit I didn’t know whether I could tell you both the truth on my own.

I didn’t know whether to talk to Jennie about any of it or let her be at peace. ’

‘Except she’s not, is she?’

‘No, she hasn’t been for a long time.’ He looked up at her. ‘And neither have you.’

After a pause she said, ‘You know, on some days I thought I was, but on others I was unravelled. And I had no family to fall back on. I had friends, but I hadn’t told many of them about my history – I kept it all bottled up as much as I could.’

‘Bea said as much. She really knew you,’ he said, looking up into her eyes.

‘Telling Bea was probably one of the best things I ever did.’

‘Even though we’re in a bit of a tangle now?’ he asked.

‘Even then,’ she said, before braving the question she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to. ‘Does Nick know about me and how Jennie and I are linked?’

‘No, and he wasn’t aware of what we were up to. He’d have felt compelled to tell Jennie if he’d known.’

‘We need to tell her everything, Walter.’

‘We do. But Christmas is almost upon us.’

‘The longer this goes on, the harder it will be.’

‘I know, but can we wait until after Christmas?’

She was about to say no, but this was the Wynters’ first Christmas without Greta. ‘Okay, after Christmas.’

‘And we’ll tell her together.’

‘We will.’ And then she asked, ‘What did you think when I first showed up here?’

His eyes held that same kindness as they’d had the day he first answered the door to his apartment. ‘Sophie, that day I was the happiest I’d been since I lost my Greta.’

And she might well have held her tears in check and been strong enough to talk to him about why she was here but she couldn’t do it any longer.

And as she cried, he held her in his arms like a father would.