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FIFTY-ONE

MADELINE

I’m falling in love with Hudson.

How could I not be?

The man learned sign language for my daughter. He spent hours and hours of the little free time he has to figure out how to communicate with her. He put in the effort, did the work, and because of it, he stole my fucking heart.

It was bound to happen.

If it wasn’t this, it would’ve been something else. Another selfless act of his, because that’s who Hudson Hayes is.

The greatest man to ever exist.

All of this—our relationship, his adoration for my daughter, his adoration for me —is something I never let myself think I could have, could want, but hell am I glad I get to have it.

He makes me think I’ll never have my heart broken again. He makes me realize there’s so much good that comes with giving yourself to someone, and maybe one day, after I’ve been with him for a year or two, I’ll never be afraid of the pain that could come from things going wrong.

He makes me believe.

In love, in healing, in relationships that don’t end.

He makes me want to take off my cynic-colored glasses and give in to a romance full of respect and communication, without the fear of being abandoned.

Again.

I need to talk about all of these feelings I’m having, though. The ones that make my head spin, make my heart jump with joy whenever he’s near. I want to gush and brag and be the one with a story to tell for once, and a night out with friends sounds the perfect excuse.

“Wow.” Hudson leans against the wall to my bedroom and looks me up and down. He stares at my skirt and the boots that come halfway up my calves. He moves to my shirt, a strappy white tank top I paired with a leather jacket. “You look like a goddamn dream, Mads.”

I smile and put in an earring before checking my lipstick. “I’m grabbing dinner with the girls. Lucy is at a sleepover, so you’re on your own tonight, champ.”

“Canned ravioli it is.”

I grab a pillow from the bed and toss it at his face. “You’re not undoing the months of food I’ve made for you in one night, Hudson Hayes. Take the chicken noodle casserole out of the fridge and heat it up in the oven for twenty minutes.”

“Yes, chef.” He walks into my room, wrapping his arms around my waist and dropping his chin on my shoulder. His hands squeeze my hips and he buries his face in my neck. “Can I have you when you get home? Multiple times?”

“Do you want me multiple times?”

“I want you all day, every day, Mads.” His touch dances up my arms, moving to my stomach. He slips his palm down the front of my shirt, pinching my nipple. I arch my back and let out a sigh, wishing I had more than five minutes before I need to leave. “Is it not obvious?”

“It’s obvious.” I reach behind me, running my hand over his length. I’m not surprised to find him already hard, straining against his sweatpants. “You’re so good at treating me right, Hudson.”

“Never thought I had a praise kink.” He kisses my throat then my jaw. “Until you started calling me good.”

“Yeah?” I give him a gentle stroke over his sweatpants and he groans. “You know what would make you really good?”

“Tell me.”

“If you touched yourself while I was gone, but didn’t come. I like when you get worked up.”

“Fuck.” Hudson rests his forehead against mine, and he thrusts his hips against my palm. “Are you going to think about me while you’re out with your friends?”

“Mhm. I’ll probably talk about you, too.”

“Make sure you tell them no one takes care of you like I do.” It’s his turn to tease, and he slips his hand up my skirt. He grazes his knuckles against the front of my underwear, and I curse him for being so cruel. “That I’m the best you’ve ever had.”

“Someone’s sure of himself,” I murmur, but any other retort dies on the tip of my tongue when he pushes a finger inside me and curls it. “That’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is jerking off and not getting to come when I think about all the ways I’m going to have you when you get home. But I can be good. I want to be good for you, Maddie.”

“Good.” I kiss him, and he sighs against me. He sucks on my bottom lip, and I whine when he pulls away. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.” He adjusts himself and gives me a smile. “And not just how hot you look. Going to miss your smile too, Golden Girl. How my heart beats fast when you’re around.”

“It does not.”

“Does to.” He takes my hand, resting it on his chest. I feel it beating rapidly, and it makes me blush. “Told you.”

I’m definitely falling in love with this man.

It’s not an if but a when, and the idea of something being so good, so perfect scares the absolute hell out of me.

“I’ll be back soon.” I stand on my toes and kiss him one more time. “And if you feel like sending me a video, I won’t be mad about it.”

“You can’t say that to me right before you leave.” Hudson drops his head against the wall. “You’re evil, Galloway.”

“You’ll survive.” I touch his arm, and he looks at me. “See you soon, hockey guy.”

“Have fun, sweetheart.”

Piper, Lexi, Emmy, Maven, and I sit at a booth at the back of a restaurant, and my stomach hurts from laughing so much.

“Can’t say I’ve ever seen a tattooed dick,” Emmy tells us after Lexi finishes up another terrible hookup story. “I feel like you can’t do that unless you’re really packing.”

“And this dude was not.” Lexi takes a sip of her wine and glances my way. “Are you going to tell us how Hayes is packing, Madeline?”

“Nope. But he did do something really special for me.” I nudge my water glass out of the way and rest my elbows on the table. “He learned sign language.”

“ What? ” Maven asks.

“It’s true,” Piper tells the group. “He came to me one night and said he wanted to learn. I’ve been helping him in between practices and games, but he’s done more than just that. He watches videos on our plane rides and meets virtually with a Gallaudet student twice a week. He’s been really determined to communicate with Lucy, and I know how hard he’s worked to get there.”

My eyes well with tears.

It’s different hearing about this from Piper because she’s not underselling his effort. She knows the time and energy it takes to learn a new language—especially at our age—and hearing the ways he’s gone above and beyond makes me want to scream from the rooftops.

“I think I’m falling in love with him,” I blurt, and the four women blink at me.

“Obviously you’re falling in love with him,” Emmy says with a smile. “You two have been getting close for months now, and I see the way he looks at you when you come into a room.”

“He looks at you all the time,” Piper tells me gently. “I’m not sure there’s a moment when he’s not looking at you.”

My mind is running a mile a minute. How long has he felt like this? As long as I have? Longer? Why hasn’t he said anything? Why haven’t I?

“I’m scared,” I admit. “Because of how much he means to me. Because I know what can happen on the other side. I need you all to tell me it’s going to be okay.”

“None of us can tell you that,” Maven says, voice gentle. “Relationships end. People fall out of love, and that’s scary to think about when you’re with someone you care about. But instead of thinking about the what-if, I think you need to figure out how you feel in the moment, you know? Are you happier when he’s around? Does your life feel more complete when he’s in it? If those things are true, all you can do is enjoy what you have while you have it.”

“I can’t do another heartbreak. And… and I won’t put Lucy through that. She’s attached to Hudson. She loves him so much, and I know he’d never intentionally do anything to hurt her—to hurt me,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper now. “I have to consider that when I’m thinking about long-term plans, and I’ve never had to do that before because I’ve never brought a man around her.”

“You’ve seen how Hudson is,” Piper tells me. “You’ve been around him for months. When he loves people, he loves them with every part of himself. Is it a flaw? Maybe. But you know you’re never going to doubt his feelings for you.”

What they’re saying is true.

He wears his heart on his sleeve, and when he does something, he does it with all that he has. Nothing , not a single action of his, is a half effort.

I know his love for me would be the same. I know if we ever got to a point where things were strained, where the love wasn’t mutual and something needed to change, he wouldn’t let it fester into destruction. He wouldn’t walk out without talking with me, without giving every part of himself to what we had.

If we went down, we’d go down fighting like hell to stay afloat, and there’s a comfort in that.

He’s not Clark.

He’s not afraid, he’s not scared. He’s seen my past, the fears I carry, and he’s still here. He’s still the golden boy smiling at me like I’m the brightest star in the sky, and that might be enough.

“I think if I were to fall for anyone, it would be him. He… he learned sign language for a girl who isn’t his. Her own father wanted nothing to do with her, and here’s Hudson. Letting her paint his nails. Treating her like she’s a princess and not batting an eye. How could I not love him?” I croak.

“One time, some of the other players joined in when I was teaching Hudson some ASL,” Piper says. “You all should’ve seen him, Liam, Maverick, and Riley sitting around and talking with their hands. I think it’s important to remember there are men out there who would do things if they wanted to, and these guys do. The title of dad doesn’t have to apply to the person who’s biologically attached to a kid. It can be someone else who’s willing to step up and fill that role.”

I close my eyes and imagine us ten years from now when Lucy is in high school. We’re sitting at the kitchen table and watching her get ready for a dance. We’re meeting the person she’s in love with and giving her advice on bad first kisses. Hudson tells her if the guy doesn’t bring her flowers, he’s kicking him to the curb. I tell her to protect her heart, but to not be afraid to live.

There’s more Christmases, more dogs, more memories. Laughter and tears and battles we’ll have to face together, and I can’t picture anyone else in that future besides him.

“Thank you for listening to me,” I say to the girls. “I know some people fall in love a half a dozen times in their life, but that’s never been me. And I want to make sure when I do, it’s right.”

“You deserve the world, Madeline,” Emmy says. “And a huge upgrade.”

“Emphasis on huge,” Lexi jokes, breaking the tension, and I laugh.

“He is all of that,” I tell them, and I wonder if there’s a video in my inbox waiting for me. I wonder if I’ll get to watch him bring himself to the brink of coming undone and then be the one to finish the job when I get home. “And more.”

He’s perfect.

God . I think I love him.

I think I love him with my whole heart.

“Hudson loves you, too,” Piper says. “And he’s going to be willing to wait for you until you’re absolutely sure.”

“Yeah.” I smile. “I know he would.”

The conversation moves away from me to talking about Emmy’s team battling for a playoff spot. Maven tells us some of her photos were picked up by AP for sports photographs of the year.

Piper gushes about the program she’s working on with the Stars’ management team, an internship program that focuses on young girls in sports and filling office roles with people other than white men. Lexi nervously shares that Sports Illustrated wants to do a write-up on her, highlighting her role as the first woman to hold the title of head athletic trainer in the NHL and the program she’s creating that helps rehabilitate athletes after accidents like ACL tears and acromioclavicular joint injuries.

I’m proud to sit beside them. I’m honored to call them my friends, and I know no matter what happens with Hudson, I’ve fallen in love with four women I’ll have in my corner for the rest of my life.