Page 32

THIRTY-TWO

HUDSON

I can still hear the sounds Madeline makes when she comes two weeks later.

I can hear her moans and how she sighs when she finishes, like she’s proud of herself.

I’ve done everything in my power to forget the noises, but I can’t.

So I throw myself into staying busy.

I add three extra weight training sessions to my schedule. I spend time with our assistant coaches doing extensive film review. I visit Lexi at her Pilates class and I join Liam at ballet. I go to team dinner, getting there early to help set up and staying late to clean up. I buy five new romance books when we’re in Detroit and tear through them all, not giving my brain a second of space to think about her .

After kissing her on New Year’s and listening to her get off, the last thing I want to do is say something stupid that will scare her away. I appreciate her—and not just her cooking—so much, and pretending like none of it happened is the only way forward.

There’s one thing on my mind besides the buzz of her toy. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for weeks now, and the only way to accomplish it is to follow Liam home one night after a grueling workout that had half the team puking once we got off the ice.

“Is there a reason why you’re acting like a lost dog?” Liam asks, unlocking the door to his place. “You’re never this clingy. It’s usually reserved for Miller.”

“I want to talk to Piper about something,” I say.

His mouth curls into a grin. “I’m going to propose to her at the end of the season.”

“You’re already married, dude. Drunk weddings in Vegas still count as legally binding commitments.”

Their original nuptials might have been fueled by an excessive amount of tequila, but those two love each other. Liam doesn’t look at anyone the way he looks at Piper, and I’m glad they figured their shit out. I’m glad they realized their feelings, because they belong together.

“I know they do, but I’m going to propose for real. With a real ring, down on one knee. I’ve been sure about her from the moment I met her, and I want to make it official.”

“You’ve been sure about her even when she was married to someone else?” I ask, and he nods.

“Yeah. I’ve never been patient about anything in my life, but with her? I’d wait a thousand years if I had to.”

I’m not sure when all my friends went from being single to happily settled down with people they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

I can’t help but feel behind sometimes. Like I’m doing something wrong or I’m not someone a woman sees a future with.

“Shit, man.” I clasp his shoulder and grin. “That’s awesome. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, Hayes. And thanks for setting my ass right back in Vegas.” Liam rubs the back of his neck. He tosses me a rare, sheepish smile, and I might need to go play the lottery. “Pretty sure I owe my relationship to you.”

“No way. It’s definitely because of your charming personality,” I tease.

“Fuck off,” he says, and I follow him to the kitchen. “I’m home, Sunshine. And I brought a stray.”

“Hudson?” Piper waves from the table, where a half-dozen notebooks are open in front of her, and she closes her laptop. She must be getting ready for our game the day after tomorrow. “This is a nice surprise.”

“Hey, Little P.” I slide into the chair across from her and wring my hands together. I’m nervous all of a sudden. “I came to ask you for a favor. It’s something I’ve been considering doing for a while, and I thought you’d be the perfect person to help me.”

“Is it about piercing a certain body part of yours?” she asks. “I don’t have any personal experience, but other women love it, apparently.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I heard a rumor that one of the guys on the team has a piercing somewhere… private. Is it true?” she presses, like the media guru she is.

I burst out laughing. “Sorry to disappoint, but my dick does not have a piercing. And I’m not telling you who does have a piercing.”

“I’ll get it out of you one day.” She caps her pen and smiles at me. “What’s up?”

I take a deep breath before starting to speak. “I want to learn sign language so I can communicate with Lucy. I want to be able to ask about her day and tell her about mine. I want to know what she’s saying to Madeline that makes her laugh so much. I want to be included, but more importantly, I want to include her in my conversations instead of talking around her. I should’ve started learning it sooner. I don’t know why I waited so long, but I?—”

“Hudson.” Piper reaches for me. Her smile is bright when she wraps her fingers around mine. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Are we forgetting the time I tied my wedding ring to my skate?” Liam grumbles. “That was sweet.”

“This isn’t about you.” She waves him off and turns back to me. “I’d be honored to help. ASL—that’s American Sign Language—can be really complex. Its linguistic features make it different from any other language, and it’s its own language. It’s not based off English. The grammatical structure is different from what you’re familiar with, and it’s very visual.”

“Do you think I could learn some basic phrases if I practice and put in the work?”

“Of course. I can send you videos to get you started, but you live in DC. Gallaudet University is right up the road, and it’s a private college for deaf students. You’ll be more effective learning ASL from a native speaker instead of me.”

“Really?” I sit up in my chair, excited. “I wonder if I could find someone to tutor me even though I’m not a student. I’d pay them, obviously.”

“I bet you could. It would be a more authentic experience, and I’d never want to take away that opportunity from someone more qualified than me.”

“I’ll do some research and see what I can find. Thanks for the suggestion, Piper.”

“Why don’t you ask Madeline? Lucy’s school is under Gallaudet’s education umbrella. I’m sure she could point you in the right direction.”

“I ah, don’t want to tell her,” I admit, and Piper frowns.

“You don’t? Why not?”

That’s the question I’ve been weighing since I first had this idea.

It happened when I saw Lucy zone out of a conversation Madeline and I were having because she couldn’t communicate with me and I couldn’t communicate with her.

The notepad and Etch A Sketch help us get by. They’re fine , a tool that works, but I don’t want Lucy to have to change her way of doing things for me. I should be the one making an effort.

It seems dehumanizing. Like I’m talking to a piece of paper, not to her. I don’t get to see the way her eyes light up when she’s sharing something that made her happy. I don’t get to see her smile when she asks if she can bring the dogs in for show-and-tell because I’m too busy flipping to a new page. Jotting something down, and by the time I look up, the moment is gone.

I know Madeline would be happy to teach me, but she’s always doing things for other people. She deserves to have someone show up and do something for her . Not because she asked, but because they want to.

“I want it to be a surprise,” I finally say, and I’m glad when Piper doesn’t press me any further.

“Do you want to start now? I can make you all some food, then we can go over a few things.”

“Really? You’d give up some of your evening for me?”

“Oh, Hudson. You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?” I ask, confused.

“You’ve done so much for me. For the team. For Liam. For us . You organize volunteer hours for the guys. You stop to sign autographs for anyone who hands you a piece of gear. After our accidental wedding in Vegas last New Year’s, your level-headedness kept us both calm. I know we’re where we are today because of your ability to get us to communicate,” she says, blushing. “You’re so selfless, all the time. Helping you with something you’re clearly passionate about isn’t a chore. It’s something I’d be glad to do. You’re a good man with a kind heart, and if learning sign language is what you want to do, I’m honored to play a small role in it.”

Piper makes me sound like a hero, when, really, I’m just treating people how I’d want to be treated. The right way to be treated, and that boils over to Madeline and Lucy too.

“Shucks, Little P.” I grin at her. “You’re too good to me.”

“Fuck me, I guess,” Liam grunts. “It’s like I’m not even here.”

“Calm down, you jealous oaf.” Piper pushes back her chair and claps. “Food, then we’ll get to work. You’re going to be an expert in no time, Huddy.”

Me

Hey. Sorry for the late text. I lost track of time. I’m eating dinner with Piper and Liam.

Madeline

I figured you were out and about and having fun. I also might’ve checked your location to make sure you weren’t in a ditch somewhere.

Me

*Attachment: 1 image*

What can I say? The garlic bread is a hell of a time.

Are y’all having a good night? Is everyone behaving over there?

Madeline

*Attachment: 1 image*

Lucy and the dogs are now known as the Three Musketeers.

Me

Love that picture. I’ll be back later, but I’ll give you a heads up before I get home.

Can’t have another banana incident.

Madeline

Are you ever going to let me live that down?

Me

Never, KG.

I hit pause on Piper’s laptop and press my palms to my eyes. I’m frustrated and tired. I’m not understanding what Piper is trying to tell me, and no matter how many times I watch the video she pulled up, I’m still confused.

“I don’t get it.” I groan and drop my hands to my lap. “This is really fucking difficult.”

“It is, but you’re doing great,” Piper says encouragingly. “You have to remember you’re an adult learning this, and it’s an entirely new language. It’s new words and new sentence structure. You almost have to forget what you know in English and relearn it in ASL. No one expects you to have it figured out in an hour. Hell, it’s going to take hundreds of hours to even be able to communicate in basic conversation with handshapes.”

“What’s the word? Handshapes?” I ask.

“Yeah. It’s the configurations the hands take as they form words. Let’s go back to learning how to tell someone to have a nice day. It’s an English dominant phrase, but it’s a good starting point. Want to watch me?”

I do my best to mimic her. I touch my upper chest with bent handshapes. Next, I place my left hand up in front of me. I move the flat palm of my right hand across my left hand.

I move my left arm, with my palm down, parallel to my body, so my hand is almost touching the right side of my chest. I then take my right elbow and rest it on top of my left hand, and make my right hand close so I’m using my pointer finger to the ceiling. Finally, I start to bring my right hand into a downward motion to meet my left elbow.

“That’s it!” Piper squeals. “That was perfect, Hudson. Do it again.”

The praise gives me a new sense of determination, and I try for a second time.

“Have a nice day,” I murmur to myself, and she nods to me from across the table.

I repeat the sign until it doesn’t feel clunky. It takes me a few minutes; I’m slow and get my hands mixed up, but when I finally do the phrase correctly three times in a row, I’m fucking elated.

“I did it.” I try it again to make sure it sticks. “Holy shit. I did it.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Piper is grinning, and I’m not sure I’ve ever been this proud of myself. “Do you remember how to spell your name?”

I close my eyes and lift my hand. I speak the letters as I try to sign them from memory. “ H-u-d-s-o-m . Did I get it right?”

“Almost. You did an m at the end instead of an n. That’s okay! It’s a simple fix. Move your thumb between your middle finger and ring finger instead of between your ring finger and pinky.”

“ H-u-d-s-o-n . Is that better?”

“That was perfect, Hudson.”

“This uses a totally different part of my brain than I’m used to. It’s nothing like breaking down plays on the ice or trying to figure out an opponent.” I sigh and stretch my fingers. “Does it start to get easier?”

“Eventually, but that’s how everything is. You weren’t great at hockey the first time you put on skates. It took some time, and now look at you. You’re a Stanley Cup Champion.” Piper pops a grape in her mouth and tugs on Liam’s arm. He’s been walking around the kitchen for the last hour, claiming he didn’t want to participate, but I caught him doing the signs out of the corner of my eye. “If you’re wanting to learn ASL for Lucy, that must mean things are going well with Madeline.”

“She’s so good at her job. The food she makes is truly next level. I feel selfish for keeping her around, if we’re being honest. The world should have a chance to taste her food.” I laugh. “Maybe she’ll open her own restaurant one day.”

“How is it living with her? You’ve never done that with a woman before.” Piper stands so Liam can take her seat. She lets him get settled then sits in his lap. “You seem really happy.”

“I am. I’m eating better. I come home from practice, and I have someone to talk to. You know how hard the last few years have been for me.” I grab my napkin and fold it into a neat square, diverting my attention. “And I don’t ever remember feeling this light. Especially since after the funeral. It’s really nice to have a friend around.”

I like that we eat breakfast together in the morning. I like that she stays up, waiting for me to get home and asking questions about my day. I especially like finding her on the balcony, and I hope as winter melts into spring, we’ll share more nights out there with a plate of cookies while we have a heart-to-heart.

“I knew Madeline was special when I met her in Vegas, but I honestly never thought I’d see her again. I’m glad she’s here.” Piper rests her head on Liam’s shoulder and sighs. “Lucy, too. She’s such a special girl.”

“Yeah.” I rub a hand over my chest. “She is.”

I enjoy spending time with the kids at summer camp and before and after games. I can’t wait to be an uncle to Mav and Emmy’s offspring when the timing is right. I’ll spoil the shit out of them, but I’ve never been sold on the idea of having children of my own.

It might be because after Mom passed, I became terrified of ever doing that to a kid I love more than life itself. I don’t want to make someone hurt like I’ve been hurt.

It’s the worst feeling in the fucking world.

Lucy is changing my thinking.

She’s fun as hell. Smart, too, and it’s been fun to forge a friendship with her. I’ve liked watching her grow and change and learn things she wasn’t sure of before.

I taught her how to handle the dogs on a walk, and now we do a lap around the neighborhood together every night I’m home if it’s not too cold.

She showed me how to put ketchup on my eggs and laughed when I found the taste revolting.

I think I could handle the heartbreak if it was a kid like her.

“I have someone I could set you up with if you’re interested,” Piper says, and I blink. “She works for Emmy’s team in the ticket sales office.”

“Maybe in the off season,” I say, deflecting. “Things are ramping up with the All-Star Game approaching. It’s hell after that with only two and a half months to go before the playoffs.”

She hums but doesn’t ask any other questions. “I’m glad you’re happy, Hudson.”

I flash her a grin. “Me too, Little P.”